Happy Easter for tomorrow to all and sundry. Rejoice!

Naruto: Preparation

The day before the chunnin exams were due to start Naruto woke up late. This was not much of a problem since in the last week Kakashi-sensei had concentrated on honing their abilities rather than working them to exhaustion. He had even warned them yesterday that he was likely to be even later than usual today.

With this in mind, team seven had agreed to have a lie-in and congregate two hours later than usual so the wait would not be too tedious.

Naruto's lie-in had only been an hour long, since he planned to ambush Konohamaru and his two friends and possibly play ninja with them for a little while. The honourable grandson had hunted him down repeatedly in the past two months, wanting to play, but the blond had only been able to indulge the boy a few times. On the other occasions he had been too tired, too injured or too overworked to do more than leave a shadow clone with the kid, which Naruto considered to be cheating.

Dressed and breakfasted, the whisker-marked jinchuuriki set out to Ichiraku's, Sakura joining him as he wandered past her apartment; it seemed he wasn't the only one with nothing to do with their extra time.

A few days ago Kakashi had organised a spar with the other two rookie teams, during which Sakura had used a brand new jutsu on team ten. Said technique -which bore the deceptively innocuous title of 'sakuri no jutsu'- had completely obliterated the three victims' chakra control. It had also proved impossible to disrupt or dispel; in the end Hinata had had to shut down all their tenkutsu and then reopen them. That jutsu had ended the spar, and Kakashi had escorted her away shortly afterwards, leaving Naruto and Sasuke to practice by themselves. When sensei and kunoichi returned several hours later Sakura had dazedly informed them that the enigmatic jounin had made her register for clan status, making her expanding repertoire of cruel and unusual techniques Haruno clan hijutsu. This meant that she would only have to teach them to her eventual children or a chosen oathbound successor, thereby protecting her from unscrupulous and ambitious individuals looking for power.

She had also told them -rather dispiritedly- that her 'hiccup technique' had been ranked as S-class and that she was expressly forbidden from using it on allies outside of controlled and supervised test conditions.

Naruto's own forays into jutsu creation were currently limited to fuuinjutsu, which he was getting much better at. Kakashi-sensei had learned the hard way to be wary of his trap seals, especially the triggered enclosures.

The blond and pinkette strolled companionably down towards Ichiraku's ramen stand, then past it as Naruto caught sight of the box Konohamaru frequently used to hide under while tailing him.

"Konohamaru, how many times do I have to tell you that rocks aren't square?" Naruto sighed.

There was a soft bang and smoke erupted from under the box. Half a minute later Konohamaru was standing in the alleyway, coughing so hard the goggles on his forehead bounced, alongside a plump, bespectacled boy and a girl with vertical orange pigtails, both of whom were also wearing goggles on their heads. Naruto ignored their flamboyant -and vaguely inappropriate- introduction with practised ease as Sakura rolled her eyes behind him.

Then the young Sarutobi had the magnificently dumb idea of insulting Sakura's appearance, causing The Smile to blossom on her face.

All of the rookie genin and their senseis had learned to fear The Smile. When Sakura was planning on violating your body in unspeakable ways her face would relax, her eyes soften and the corners of her mouth curl up into a gentle smile. Then she would strike mercilessly and relentlessly. Sarutobi Asuma now automatically extinguished his cigarette when talking to her and Aburame Shino never strayed inside her reach when they sparred. Her jutsu were located in the previously unexplored grey area between ijutsu and genjutsu, making them as obscure and hard to counter as they were unpleasant.

Naruto, recognising the danger his favourite minion was in, told the younger boy to run and gingerly placed a hand on his kunoichi team-mate's arm. Sakura looked at him -making him flinch- then nodded. Reassured that she had no intention of using actual jutsu on an academy student, Naruto let her chase after the honourable grandson, following behind at a swift jog. Konohamaru needed to learn to watch his mouth and learn a little tact and this was as good a method as any.

"Oi!"

Oops. It seems the Konohamaru Corps wasn't watching where they were going. Naruto rounded a corner to see a boy dressed entirely in black with a cat-eared hood and wearing kabuki makeup hoisting the Sandaime's grandson up by the collar.

It was the faint traces of youki on the older boy that caught Naruto's attention however; this genin -a Suna-nin by his hitai-ite- had spent a lot of time in close proximity with a jinchuuriki. An earth and wind natured one with truly appalling impulse control.

Who is watching us from up that tree over there. Hm. And the girl with Kabuki Boy is somehow familiar-

"Put me down!" Konohamaru shrieked.

"No, I don't think I will," the suna genin said mockingly. "You need to learn not to run into your betters, brat."

A bully as well. Wonderful. "Suna-nin-san," Naruto said calmly, donning his courtly poise and manners like an expensive kimono, "please release Sandaime-sama's grandson before the ANBU see fit to interfere. A diplomatic incident at this point in time would be most inconvenient, considering the upcoming chuunin exams."

The ninja in kabuki paint started, stared incredulously as Naruto then hurriedly put Konohamaru down. The honourable grandson swelled up like a bullfrog, but the whisker-marked blond intervened before the tactless little squirt could make things even worse.

Konohamaru, apologise for your lack of care. You are training to be a ninja and should pay attention to your surroundings," Naruto scolded gently, steel underlying his mild words. The boy scowled but bobbed a bow.

"Gomen, ninja-san."

"Hm." Kabuki Boy seemed at a loss for how to continue now the confrontation was over. Sakura picked this moment to join in:

"I take it you are here for the exams?"

"Aa," the blonde girl with four pigtails said from behind Kabuki Boy. "I am Temari and this is Kankurou."

"And your team-mate up that tree?" Naruto asked, pointing. Both the Suna genin looked up, startled. Naruto also looked up, since he'd not actually seen the jinchuuriki yet.

A redhead with teal eyes ringed in black with pale skin and the kanji for 'love' etched in blood red on his forehead stood on the underside of a high branch, a large gourd strapped to his back. He smelt of sand, blood and misery to Naruto's keen nose and his chakra held hints of gleeful insanity.

The redhead shunshined down to ground level in a swirl of sand, wide, crazed eyes fixed on Naruto. The blond jinchuuriki bowed fractionally, never breaking eye contact. "I am Uzumaki Naruto, holder of the ninth, tanuki-san," he said softly, too softly for his words to carry to the other jinchuuriki's team-mates. One of the things Yoko was teaching him was manners, specifically proper forms of conduct to observe when faced with other jinchuuriki, bijuu or true youkai. Especially daiyoukai.

The redhead stilled, head cocking to one side as if listening to a voice no-one else could hear. "I am Gaara of the Desert, holder of the first, kitsune-san," he rasped, voice carrying but harsh with disuse. "Your territory?"

"My people," Naruto corrected agreeably. "No killing outside of self-defence or pre-determined challenges and no physical harm to civilians." Pigtails and Kabuki Boy seemed to find the conversation confusing and were staring at Naruto like he was standing there nude in orioke form. The girl had even done a 'kai' to check it wasn't an illusion. Sakura was standing quietly to one side being inconspicuous; Naruto had shared a little of his bijuu education with his team-mates so she knew what was going on.

"Acceptable," Gaara muttered after a pause, chakra spiking oddly.

"Then you are welcome here so long as you continue to comply," Naruto said agreeably. "Would you care to join us for ramen?" Offering food or shelter was part of his duties as host.

"Baki-sensei said to meet back at the hotel for lunch..." Kabuki Bo -Kankurou, his name was Kankurou- Kankurou ventured waveringly. The older two were clearly terrified of their jinchuuriki team-mate, which was rather upsetting when their base scent indicated they were all siblings. The KI Gaara was radiating made it somewhat understandable though.

"Shut up," Gaara said flatly. He seemed to be fighting some kind of internal battle. His seal must be completely shite for his bijuu to have that much influence over him. That gourd on his back is saturated with youki, no human chakra at all. And there is something else twined through the youki, something that shouldn't be there...

"Nice kabuki paint, Kankurou wasn't it?" Naruto said cheerfully, trying to lower the tension. After all, dealing with a jinchuuriki whose bijuu was possessed by an unpleasant-looking ghost must be very trying, especially when the seal holding the bijuu in was that pathetic.

"Arigatou," Kankurou said, hand rising briefly towards his face. "Most people don't recognise it."

"Uncultured barbarians. My tutor insisted on theatre training as part of my education in stealth and disguise," Naruto said blithely. "The symbolism and depth of meaning is quite fascinating."

"Hai," the sand genin agreed, relaxing a little. "What kind of parts did you specialise in?"

"Mainly onna-gata; Bando-sama said I have a gift for it."

Kankurou's eyes bulged. "Onna-gata? What did Gaara call you-"

"Kitsune."

"Fox... fox?" that last word was almost a squeak as Kankurou's fear levels spiked.

"I am well sealed and properly balanced," Naruto said blandly, ignoring how both sand-nin -who were likely older than he was and certainly taller- tried to back away from him without actually moving. Gaara was still arguing with his bijuu a little off to one side and ignoring everyone. "Your team-mate's seal, however, has been thoroughly botched. There is a restless spirit intertwined with his tenant and both are poorly contained. I'm amazed he's still alive; the kami must love him."

Both Temari and Kankurou looked even more horrified, which Naruto hadn't believed possible. The blonde girl shifted restlessly as her eyes flickered to take in their surroundings. No other ninja were with in hearing -other than Sasuke up that tree over there- so she leaned forward slightly. "Can it be fixed?" She murmured.

"Naruto nodded. "Ame-kaa-san could do it easily. She's good with seals; part of her calling."

Gaara's head shot around and his eyes bored into the whiskered blond's. "Calling?"

"Ame-san is Yogensha," Naruto said carefully, "and marked by the kami as such." Recognising those who were kami-marked was something else Yoko was teaching him, helped along by having one such a rare person on hand. The Kyuubi insisted that Ame's primary kekkai genkai was a token of immense divine favour and Naruto was not going to question that.

"We will visit the Yogensha now," Gaara said flatly, leaving no room for dissent as the sand around him twitched. Both his team-mates looked incredibly relieved by the decision.

This way then," Sasuke said, dropping out of his tree. The six genin left, the Konohamaru corps having already gone back to their games.

After leaving the genin from Suna -it turned out they were the current kazekage's children- to Ame-kaa-san's impeccable hospitality team seven made their way to the bridge where they usually met with Kakashi. Ame seemed to have known the three sand-nins already and had insisted on them staying for a while, which Naruto thought was odd but not entirely unlikely. Ame-kaa-san was very unusual after all.

To pass the time waiting for their tardy sensei Naruto produced a pack of cards and dealt out a hand of a bluffing game. The blond's ridiculous good luck at games of chance was less of a problem since this particular game relied partly on strategy, but the jinchuuriki still won twice as often as his team-mates. They were well into their sixth game when Kakashi-sensei arrived.

"These are the admission forms for the chunnin exams," the jounin said conversationally. "To enter you need to fill them in and bring them to the examination hall before the first test tomorrow. If you don't think you're ready, don't enter."

"When and where exactly, Sensei?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"All the details are on the forms," Kakashi said cheerfully, "so read them thoroughly."

"Will we need supplies, like on a mission?" Sakura prodded. Her questioning was generally more successful than the boys' efforts because, although less powerful than Naruto or Sasuke in the strictest sense, she was much less inhibited when inflicting pain. Not to mention far more ruthless.

"Maa, that would be telling," Kakashi hedged. "No missions or training today so you can prepare for tomorrow. Ja ne!" He fled in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto caught his team-mates' eyes. "Supplies," they chorused, then set about reading the forms their sensei had given them.

"So," Sasuke said half an hour later, putting away his pen.

"First exam starts at ten tomorrow morning," Sakura went on, "and the second exam at noon. That's immediately after. It doesn't say however when the second exam will end or the third begin, which is suspicious."

"The third exam is a over month ahead and probably public," Naruto said, "and I know from my sources that the second exam lasts several days."

"We definitely need rations and supplies then," Sakura said firmly. "We'll have to take them with us into the first exam in case there's no time in between to grab them."

"weapons?" Sasuke asked. "I'm taking my ninja-to and usual kunai, shuriken and ninja wire. Probably more extra ninja wire as well for traps and stuff. He paused. "I'll buy food pills for everyone since I'm the only one not paying rent."

"Cheers, teme," Naruto said. "I'll bring my wakizashi and tanto, usual throwing weapons and as many tags as I can fit. I'll make up individual bundles of different types according to your preferences in case we get separated."

"That's a good idea," Sakura agreed. "I'll wear my gauntlets as usual and bring my new ribbons just in case." Sakura was learning to use ribbons as the silk strips could be used like rope or like wire, or even charged with chakra for other purposes. Naruto had only dared called her 'tentacle-girl' once. "I'll also

carry an advanced medical kit if you to bring standard first-aid scrolls."

"Deal," Sasuke said instantly. "Everyone carries enough rations for a week and two days' worth of water."

Naruto nodded. "Remember to seal extra layers of clothing or bedding for sleeping rough. I can give you both more sealing scrolls in you need 'em: I make a mint selling them through Tenten's dad's shop. I'm amazed how few jounin know even basic fuuinjutsu."

"Dobe, that's because you have to be a bit crazy to be good with seals. Zabuza and Kakashi-sensei actually agreed on that, and they think you're seriously strange since you are unusually good with them."

"Fine, be that way teme," Naruto pouted. "See if I give you any of my new and improved shock tags."

"New and improved?" Sasuke repeated curiously, eyes gleaming in a way Uchiha's usually associated with fire. According to Ame-kaa-san, most Uchiha were closet pyromaniacs. Sasuke however preferred electrocuting people; the fact that electrocuting people sometimes set them on fire may have had something to do with it.

"I've got the intensity and frequency just right to completely scramble the victim's nervous system for ten minutes unless they're a lightning master like Kakashi-sensei. Chakra manipulation of any kind is impossible for another five minutes after that as well. They work equally well wrapped around a kunai or as a trap seal; impact released once keyed. You can even do remote detonation if you like. I pranked the police with them last night just to make sure."

Sakura sighed. "Naruto-baka, you are incorrigible. Honestly."

The blond grinned sheepishly. "It was that or booby-trapping Sasuke's front step, but that's against the Rules and I didn't want you to torture me today, Sakura-chan."

"Hopelessly incorrigible," Sasuke grumbled, getting to his feet. "Let's go prepare."

Notes

Sakuri no jutsu = hiccup technique; causes the victim's tenkutsu to spasm at irregular intervals as the diaphragm does when a person has hiccups, making their chakra flow irregular and difficult to regulate. Can only be countered by closing all of the affected tenkutsu, letting the jutsu disperse then reopening them. As the jutsu spreads through the victim's system, it is safest to close all tenkutsu rather than risk a relapse. S-rank hijutsu.

Onna-gata = in kabuki theatre, men and women may not appear on stage at the same time; acting troupes are single-sex. Therefore, female parts are all done by men. Said men are called onna-gata and have special training to successfully mimic all female mannerisms. Due to his upbringing and experiences, Naruto is very, very good at it.

the Rules = team seven's evolving code of conduct, or How To Survive Alongside Or Against The Four Lunatics (and whatever else the rest of the rookies and their senseis will come to call them).

A/N: Meet the sand trio, plus a little insight into bijuu etiquette. What this means for the invasion is yet to be determined. Note also that Kakashi is no longer secure in his ability to subdue team seven, preferring flight to possible conflict. He probably could beat them, but they'd be dead, not subdued.