Chapter 3

Meeting

Why was she so stupid? Did she really think he cared? Why did she have hope still? "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" and she cry and cry hurting and suffering feeling angry and bitter and sad and useless. She cried and cried hearing her mother at her closed door asking her if she was fine. The woman was worried. But Sakura couldn't answer. It was so much the pain and the disillusion that it was difficult to breathe and talk. She stayed in her bed with a river of tears coming from her green eyes and for the first time she felt something more than love for him.

It had happened days after almost all Konoha knew of her pregnancy. The good thing it was that having all the support she had, random people didn't dare to ask her anything or treat her bad. If they criticized her behind her back she didn't care. Her belly was still small with her clothes to grab attention. She was feeling very well and continued with her life like nothing had happened. She didn't think in him as much as before. She had her parents and friends and sensei and was busy and hopeful. And that was when everything went down again. When her world was tumbling down again because of him. That night she found a letter in her bedroom. She recognized the writing and read it nervous and hoping and happy.

It was from him. He dated her to go alone tomorrow at sunset near the forest by the river. Wanting to see him and loving him without limit, she prepared herself and was out of the house the next afternoon with the excuse of going to the library to search something about a jutsu.

Her parents believed her word. Nobody watched her going to the forest. Leaving Konoha. After some hours walking she saw him there like a sort of enchantment or dream. His black eyes and black hair. His sillouete still and quiet. His beautiful face. His cold stare. Sakura couldn't help it. This one was the same boy she used to love disguised, the same she had try to bury six feet under and froze in time. It was the same person. But the look in his eyes, it was of the lonely and sad little boy and she forgot all the one who was using that disguise had done since he left Konoha. All he had done against Naruto and her. And she couldn't help it. She went straight to him and embraced him with all her might crying happily with her arms around his neck while he stayed still and cold as a statue of ice.

What did she say? She couldn't remember now. Something about being happy to see him again, being happy for him returning to meet her…

He just heard her babbling staring coldly at her. But somehow his face relaxed. And he kissed her again like the last time, desperately and freely, holding her against his body and she let him answering with the same passion and love. She felt like going dizzy with all the overwhelming feelings and sensations she had in all her being. They kissed and kissed deeply and like if they were a couple that knew perfectly well the other. Soon his hands left her naked in the sunset and she dismissed the shame she felt. He had already seen her like that. Taking his own clothes he followed kissing and caressing her like if he was his owner and making her lose control and her head got dizzy and her heart rose its beat.

When he grabbed her by her waist he stopped like noticing something. Sakura just looked smiling lovingly at him and told him the truth. She told him that she was pregnant from the last time and had three months and a half. Naked it was notorious the change in her body, in her breasts and belly. His face didn't betray his feelings or thoughts. He didn't change it at all. She saw some softness in his eyes even in all that coldness and indifference. He just caressed her belly softly and thoughtful. But he didn't say anything like the last time. Maybe this time he would not say "goodbye". He kissed her again and took her in his arms laying her and himself on top with a delicacy she hadn't seen in him the last time they had made love.

And she surrendered herself again to him and his desire and demands; she gave herself again to that boy she loved so much and they made love in the grass behind the dark sky with the moon and the stars. She could notice how different he was acting with her now, how he was gentler and delicate when he was taking her and the pace of the act was slower and sweeter. She never thought he could be like that. He possessed her more than a couple of times that night in his contemplative and watchful rhythm and she felt happy and secure in his arms, knowing he had listened her and was aware of her state. He knew he was going to be a father.

Sometimes she caught him looking at her grown belly and touching it with curiosity and thoughtfulness. So that night she loved him even more than before and held him as she never wanted to let him go. She moaned and screamed and freely made him felt what she was feeling in her own pace remembering things he seemed to like the last time they were together making love. Between one time and another they just lay looking at the nocturnal sky in silence, he holding her and her with her head upon his chest and his heart pounding hard.

This was bliss, she thought. And she wished it to last forever. She wanted to marry this boy and awake every morning with him at his side. She felt hope. And she visualized a bright future.

She should have known better.

She didn't quite understand how it happened. The next morning when she awoke he was clothed and with his hair dripping water. Prepared to go. Sakura just stared confused at him. She didn't understand it. He just saw her coldly and turned his back on her. And she understood it then. He was leaving again. She remembered screaming at him, demanding for an explanation. She was panicked and confused, sad and crying feeling the pain and hurt growing inside of her like a tide.

Didn't he care? What had happened then? Why he had returned to her and had made love to her like that? Did this mean nothing to him? Why? Why? She started to cry desolate and without hope, pleading. She always ended up pleading. What kind of girl she was?

"I don't have interest in that baby. I don't need it. I came again to you because I was nearby for a mission and remembered how fun the last time you and I had sex was. I'm a guy, remember? I have needs too. And you always say you "love me". I thought you were happy with this arrange. Sakura I don't have any sort of romantic feelings for you. I have more important things to take care of. And if I was different this time when we had sex was because I was aware of your state and I didn't want to be guilty for hurting you or your baby. And knowing of your pregnancy I will not come back again to you, to this again. Return to Konoha. Goodbye."

"You don't care…? You don't care…"

"I don't. I don't care about anything else besides my own purpose. Go and have your baby. But I don't care. I never cared. I just use you as a release. Why would I be interested in you? Someone like me. You're nothing to me. Anyone in Konoha is nothing to me now. That baby is nothing to me. It's not mine. Find its true father. After all it seems you are open to anyone like to me. I guess it. That bastard is not mine. Why don't you tell Lee or Naruto to take care of you and it?"

He turned his back again and started walking slowly and confidently into the forest. Sakura was left speechless and crying loudly and desperate and lonely. She screamed frustrated, angry, hurt. She felt like dying. He was never as cruel to her as today saying all that without remorse or caring. She would have preferred not to let him talk, not to ask him anything. His words were meaner and crushed her heart and soul better and more effectively than any gesture or silence of him.

She was so affected and hurt that she didn't knew exactly how she got up and took a bath at the river and then put on her clothes and walked to the town shocked and with fixed stare and frozen tears. She still sobbed and screamed at her for her stupidity and useless hope. She should have known better. She didn't remember the way she took or how many hours she walked until she reached the gates of Konoha. Her crying stopped for a moment and she could only remember him saying all that without emotion. Without feeling towards the small being inside of her that was his too.

The pain and the sadness were so deep, the betrayal so unexpected after all, the truth so sharp and honest that broke her deeply than any other thing that he had done to her or to others in the past. Walking in the streets of Konoha, without voice and tears, shocked and distant, frozen in that moment, with slow and erratic pace she felt angrier than ever against the boy she loved so much.

She could handle the words directed to her, the cruel, mean and cold words towards her. But against her unborn baby… that was what she cannot handle. That was when her love transformed a bit to hate and grudge, to a love she hated now having inside her heart. She clutched her fists and tried to not start crying and screaming again. She noticed the people around her talking about her state but she ignored them until someone got closer to her and grabbed her arm softly.

"Sakura! Are you alright?!"

It was Ino. She was looking at her pink haired friend who seemed a ghost. Sakura just denied it with a gesture and the blond girl nodded looking worriedly and sadly at her.

"I'll take you home… everything will be fine… you'll see… you'll see…"