Imagining Tigers
Chapter 4:
There's been two weeks since the last time I saw Brittany. Two weeks of work, work and work. Quinn had said that I needed a life but I paid her no attention. I had a life, I was a successful and upcoming lawyer, what I always wanted to be.
The hours I wasn't working, my mind was consumed by blue eyed, blonde haired Brittany. Every time I talked to her she left me with more questions. I wanted to spend hours just watching her doing the simplest things, like breathing. I should feel ashamed of myself for being such a creep but I couldn't care less.
I knew I should be mad at Brittany for getting angry about my job but I knew better than this. I knew she didn't have a problem with me. We just disagreed on the morality of my job. I wanted to talk to her, to see if she was still mad at me but I thought she needed her space. Plus, if she wanted she knew where to find me. I couldn't help but be a little sad though, I thought I was making progress with her but she still had her walls up. At least she told me she wasn't a dance teacher but a mathematician instead.
I was in my office on a Wednesday morning, working on a divorce case. My client was a middle-aged man, Mr. Smith, whose wife cheated on. I had a good feeling that I could win a lot for my client in this case, but I didn't want to sound too cocky, not even to myself, so I just concentrated on my notes again, making sure I planned my actions and questions right. I heard a knock on my office's door but I didn't look up, figuring it would be Marley, my assistant.
"Come in." I said loudly to be heard outside the door. It opened and then closed.
"Hey." Said an angelic voice, causing my left hand to jolt and ruin the notes I was writing. I looked up and was met with blue eyes and an eyebrow arched in amusement. I tried to hide my excitement and surprise by clearing my throat.
"Brittany?" I wondered. What was the blonde doing in my office? Not that I wasn't happy to see her. She was wearing once again very short shorts and a tank top, showing off her tattoos and her toned body, much to my pleasure. She was busy looking around in my office and I was looking on her face, watching her tongue playing with the piercing on the inside of her bottom lip."I thought you don't really hang out with Sugar inside the firm." I stated sounding more like questioning her, mimicking her reply of that night at the dance studio. But I was really curious as to why she was in my office. She looked at me in surprise and blinked a couple of times.
"Oh, I don't."She stated and blushed slightly. I just made Brittany blush, I thought and mentally high-fived myself. Did she just come to see me? I tried to not let my happy feelings get away with me and I cleared my throat again. I arched an eyebrow in question, causing her to blush some more.
She raised her hands to her hair ignoring me and gathered it in a high ponytail with a tie she had on her wrist, showing her strong arms. She was probably getting hot from all the blushing I was causing her. Maybe she did come just to see me.
Her tank top rose up and showed the start of a black tattoo but I couldn't tell what it was. It started from the inside of her left hipbone and occupied her left side and hip until the start of her back, disappearing under her tank top. The contrast with her pale skin made the tattoo even more beautiful and imposing, although I didn't know what it was. So she did have more tattoos than I could see.
"How many tattoos do you have?" I blurted out, surprising myself and Brittany at the same time. I blushed and started to speak again."I mean, you don't have to tell me if yo- " She cut me off.
"Four." She simply said. I stared at her, surprised that she answered my question and then I nodded slowly. "I have these two" she showed me the half of the tiger that I could see on the outside of her left thigh and the purple flower on the right of her chest, "I have another one on my lower back and I have one on my left ribcage." She said, only then realizing that her tank top had risen up and tugged it down again. I smiled.
"They are really beautiful, from what I can see." I told her honestly. She nodded appreciatively at me.
"Thanks. Actually, I drew them." She told me as she was getting a sit on the chair on the other side of my desk. She crossed her legs and stared at me as I was staring at her.
"You draw?" I finally got out. Brittany was definitely full of surprises.
"Not really." She said softly shrugging and continued, "I mean just a little bit, only things that matter to me." She shrugged again. I was intrigued.
"Flowers and tigers matter to you?" I asked. She frowned.
"Yes." She simply said with finality and crossed her arms, making me understand that this conversation was over. I wondered if I said something wrong or if I said something too soon. I went with the latter.
We fell in an awkward silence. She went back to looking around in my office and I was left wondering why I was so captivated by a tattooed mysterious woman. After a few seconds she looked back at me and broke the silence.
"I'm sorry about the lawyer thing." She said softly, looking at me through her eyelashes and biting her bottom lip. I sighed.
"Have you ever watched a trial?" I asked her quietly and she shook her head 'no' and looked away from me and at the sky outside the window behind me. I took a deep breath."It's like a war." I started. "Lawyers are reckless, digging to discover every little dirty secret you have. Sometimes the war is between the lawyers too. I wouldn't win a single case if I went there, being a good girl and trying to win with kisses, Brittany. I have to do whatever I can for my client to win, and if that means invading their privacy or digging in to their past, a lot of times of my client's too, then so be it." I said softly and watched her swallowing hard. She looked at me hesitantly.
"So, you could just dig into my life too and learn every little dirty secret I have?" She mimicked what I said earlier and she had her arms still crossed in front of her chest. I frowned at her now unreadable expression. So this was what was bothering her?
"Yeah, I could." I told her honestly and saw her expression shifting towards anger so I continued quickly."But", I said and smiled softly at her, "I respect you too much to do that." I finished.
"You don't even know me." Brittany said quietly and looked away from me again.
"I'd like to get to know you though. If you'd let me, of course." I told her softly. She nodded hesitantly, finally making eye-contact, allowing me to admire the blue of her eyes. I felt the happiness fill my insides and I smiled.
"How do you do that anyways?" She wondered, her voice back to its normal volume.
"Do what?" I frowned.
"Learning about people and stuff…" She shrugged and trailed off. I smirked.
"I know the right people." I replied and then I thought about it and continued. " Or the wrong people. It's a matter of perspective, really." I smiled and she nodded. She turned to look at the time and sighed as she stood up.
"I have to go but I'll see you soon?" She more asked than said while walking towards the door.
"Of course." I smiled at her. Then, "Wait!" I said a little too loudly.
Brittany turned and looked at me with curiosity. I walked around my desk towards her and gave her my phone, silently asking for her number. She arched an eyebrow at me and I arched one back. She rolled her eyes.
"You win, Lopez." She mumbled under her breath and I chuckled at her. She wrote her number and gave it back to me, shaking her head at my triumphant smile, trying to hide her own smile and then she opened the door and left.
She was still being secretive and guarded but at least she agreed to let me in, so I thought that as a progress. Plus, she came to apologize and she gave me her number. I did a little celebratory dance inside my head and went back to work.
…
I checked my phone for the time and saw that it was a little after 8 p.m. I turned off my computer, gathered my papers in piles and put them in my bag. I grabbed my bag and got up, taking my phone with me and leaving my office, saying goodbye to Marley, always waiting for me to leave first.
As I exited the building I saw Sugar at the bottom of the stairs leading to the building's entrance. I descended the stairs and walked by her side on the sidewalk, only then noticing the child she was holding in her arms.
"Hey." I said quietly to not startle her. But she was startled anyway. She turned around to face me and her eyes widen.
"S-Santana?" She asked in alarm. I furrow my brows in confusion.
"What's wrong?" I wondered. She just shook her head.
"What are you doing here so late?" Sugar asked me while looking around.
"I could ask you the same thing actually. I always work late, you know that." I answered, my brows still furrowed at her weird behavior.
"Right, forgot about that." She mumbled under her breath but I heard it. She was still looking around. I took the chance to look at the child she was holding. It must have been no more than three years old, a blonde girl that when she looked at me I smiled at the blue that stared back at me. The girl looked at me, giggled and then hid her face in the crook of Sugar's neck, turning the brunette's attention back to me.
"Who is this?" I asked, looking at the girl then back at Sugar. Sugar looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"This i- " She went to answer but the little girl interrupted her.
"Mommy!" She screamed looking behind my shoulder. I turned and froze at the sight of Brittany running towards us with a huge smile on her face that fell the moment she saw me looking at her. My eyes widen and I stood still frozen. Mommy? Brittany? Brittany has a daughter. She was such a big mystery to me that I shouldn't even be surprised discovering that she had a daughter. She looked at me like the mother-tiger, not sure if she wanted to tear me apart or just let me run away because I was near her baby-tiger. Oh, no! I felt like we went back to zero. After our conversation earlier I thought we were ok and then this happened. She reached us and looked at her daughter again.
"Ali. Hey baby!" Brittany said softly and took her daughter from Sugar, who was frozen as well, and kissed her on the cheek, nuzzling her neck and making the little girl giggle.
She chuckled when her daughter tried to touch her nose ring and pretended to eat her tiny fingers. The little girl squealed and tried again and Brittany tried again to eat her tiny fingers. A playful Brittany was a mesmerizing sight for me. I didn't think I could ever forget it. So this was the famous Ali, Brittany's daughter I then thought. That explained a lot. The smiles and the sweet voice, the pet names and I love you's. The blonde was so different being with her daughter, she was carefree and happy. Just by watching her interacting with her little girl I felt like she was letting me in.
"Britt, I'm so sor- "Sugar started to say but Brittany cut her off.
"It's ok Motta." The tall blonde said, her attention still on her daughter. She smiled as the little blonde traced her tiny finger on the tattoo of a flower she had on the right of her chest, showing off from the tank top she was wearing. I could see how much Ali looked like Brittany. Blue eyes, blonde hair and pale skin, it was like looking at a smaller version of Brittany.
"Are you sure? It wasn't my fault this time, I swear." Sugar said quickly, looking at Brittany hesitantly and with…fear? I furrowed my brows in confusion at their interaction.
"Yeah, it's ok. You just happened to see Santana while she was leaving her work. I understand that, I'm not paranoid Motta. Don't make me seem like one." Brittany said and furrowed her brows at Sugar's direction and then turned to face me, her facial expressions finally softening. It was not lost on me that she used my first name but she seemed to not notice or not care. "Lopez." She acknowledged my presence with a nod. And there we went again and I didn't even know her last name.
"Hi." I said, still in confusion about their interaction. Is it all because Brittany is over-protective of her daughter? I looked at her daughter, now leaning her head on Brittany's shoulder, probably tired and sleepy. It's late for a kid after all. Then I turned my attention back to the blonde watching me watching her daughter. Her face was unreadable now but she definitely wasn't glaring at me. It was more like she was calculating me. Finally she decided to introduce me to her daughter.
"Baby, this is Santana. Lopez, this is Alice, my daughter." She said. The little girl looked at me, blushed and hid her face in her mother's neck making the blonde smile. Her smile was contagious and so, so beautiful.
"Hi Ali." I cooed.
"Hi." The little girl said back, giggling, not looking at me. I chuckled and looked at her still smiling mother. She looked at me and that was the first time she directed a genuine smile in my direction. I felt my heart starting to melt inside my chest and a sense of relief overcame my mind. We're ok, I thought. Then she turned to Sugar.
"We should go now." She announced, hoisting her daughter further up on her right hip.
"Ok Britt, I'll see you tomorrow right?" Sugar asked.
"Sure." Replied the blonde, allowing Sugar to place a kiss on Alice's cheek. After Brittany told me that they weren't really best friends I noticed that Brittany wasn't that open with Sugar either. I turned my attention back to the little girl.
"It was very nice meeting you Ali." I said softly, afraid I might say the wrong thing in front of Brittany. This is really a new thing for me because I was never afraid of what I said. I've been insulting people my whole life, speaking is really natural for me, especially in the court. But something about Brittany and Sugar's reaction had me being cautious about the blonde mother.
The blonde girl just giggled again and waved at me the same way Brittany did, before turning and leaving. As Brittany passed by me I caught a smell of her scent, which paralyzed momentarily my brain functioning. It was a mixture of vanilla and coconut and surprisingly not cigarettes. Apparently she didn't smoke as much as I thought she did, she had a kid after all.
I stared at her retreating form until she was vanished, then turned back to Sugar who was watching Brittany leaving as well.
"What was that?" I queried. She looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows.
"I'm so sorry San. Brittany is just a little over-protective of Ali. All I can tell you is that she doesn't like it when her daughter is meeting new people without her. I know that much and I know that I did it once and I'm definitely not gonna do it again. You just don't want Brittany directing her anger towards you. You just don't." She shook her head, her brows still furrowed.
"Like, I'm a threat?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing at this new information. Ok, all mothers are protective over their children, but not meeting new people when Brittany is not present? This was just weird. Something must have happened to the blonde, making her not trust strangers around her daughter. But I could tell, she didn't have a problem with me meeting Alice, she introduced us after all.
"I don't know. I know she doesn't hate you and that's a really good start with Brittany. I don't think she sees you as a threat but she doesn't trust people very easily and she's not a very open person." Sugar tried to calm down my wild thoughts. I wondered if Sugar knew what happened to Brittany but I doubted it. She didn't seem to know anyway.
"So that's why she was frowning at me when you said Ali's name in front of me?" I asked, referring to the first time I met Brittany. Sugar seemed to be thinking about it and then shrugged.
"Probably. I'm just afraid about the whole Ali thing with her because Britt doesn't take any bullshit when it comes to her daughter, you know? She just lets the kid with me sometimes when she has her own business to do." I wondered what business Sugar was talking about.
"Ok." I nodded my head, because what else could I say? Brittany was still a big mystery to me and every time I looked at her, I just wanted to discover more of her."Anyway, I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow." I told her and patted her on the shoulder as I turned to leave. I heard her mumbling a 'goodnight'.
I made my way home, a few blocks from the firm. As I was walking, I couldn't help but think about Brittany. Brittany had a daughter. Who was the father? Is she married? Just thinking about it made me feel that weird sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I quickly shrugged that feeling away though. Brittany had only ever given me the impression that we could possibly be friends at some point. She had a daughter, she was probably, if not married, then in a serious relationship. And even if she wasn't, she still didn't show any signs of her being interested in me in that way. Or any woman for that matter. I guessed I was ok with it, if Brittany needed a friend then I would be that for her. I still had to learn so much about her. If that was the case though, I hoped for my own sake, that my infatuation with the blonde would eventually dissipate.
A.N.: Thoughts?