Authors Notes

Story Timeline – Saturday 16th/Sunday 20th November 2013

A big celebration isn't always the best plan.

The team have a night of intimate conversations as they avoid an unwanted welcome-home party for Ainsley. Emotions and concerns are shared and a surprise question is asked.

Thor still has problems with autocorrect and getting between a Hawk and his coffee is never a good idea.

Natasha faces a dead end on the hunt for Clint's brother, until a message arrives from an unexpected source.

Ainsley was awake, still fully dressed on top of the covers, when Thor came in to the apartment. He didn't need to sleep but the homecoming party upstairs was a little too exhausting. Tony could go over the top when it came to celebrating. The doctor didn't want to appear ungrateful but, honestly, he would have preferred it to be only the team. After two months in hospital it was welcome enough just to be back with the people he loved.

Thor kicked off his boots, placing them carefully on the rack beside the door, poured them both a glass of wine and came through to the bedroom.

"I brought this for you" he said, handing Ainsley his drink. "I know it is one you like"

He breathed in the aroma, one of his favourite Patagonian Malbecs; rich, earthy and complicated. Thor sat down on the bed and kissed him, a deep, intense kiss that lasted for a long time.

"I missed you so very much"

Ainsley smiled and stroked his face. His lover had been with him every day in the hospital but he knew what he meant. This was the first time since he'd kissed him goodbye on the mission to Central America that the two of them had been properly alone together.

"I missed you so very much as well, Snuggie Bear. It's just not been the same without having you beside me." He ran his hand through Thor's hair "You make me feel safe"

The Asgardian leaned over and kissed him again, enjoying the taste of the wine on Ainsley's lips. Even after he had been assured that the young doctor would live and make a full recovery, his absence from their home had left Thor feeling alone and diminished. Clint was a brother warrior, but the love and companionship they shared was nothing compared to what he felt for this small, wise, man who had come to him when he was lost and without hope.

"It is you who make me feel safe, Little Bug. Your love is the beacon that calls to me in the night."

He was trying not to cry, wanting only to be happy that Ainsley was with him again, but could not hold it back any longer. Wrapping his arms around the other man he held him as tight as he dared.

"I thought I was going to lose you. I could not bear it" His voice trembled and his whole body shook with emotion. Ainsley laid his head against Thor's shoulder. He was weeping as well, letting his own feelings of relief and gratitude take over.

"I'll always be with you in here." He said, placing his hand over the Asgardian's heart. He looked up into Thor's eyes "Neither of us know how much time we'll have together, but I will never leave you."

Thor touched the Mjolnir pendant around his neck, the gift from his lover he would treasure till his last day.

"Nor will I ever leave you, Little Bug. Even if Asgard calls, I swear I will always return to you while there is breath in this body. No man or woman will take your place in my heart for as long as I live"

It was as close as they could come to admitting the painful truth. Thor's great lifespan meant Ainsley would grow old and die long before the Asgardian had even begun to show the appearance of aging and no craft of Midgard or Asgard could ever change that.

They were silent together for a time, kissing and holding each other close, having gone past the need for words to express their feelings. After a while Thor got up and poured them some more wine

"Would you like to go back up to the party?" he asked

Ainsley shook his head with a smile

"No thanks! this is all the homecoming I need, a bottle of good wine and you."

Thor hesitated before he spoke again.

"Could I ask Clint to join us? He said it should just be the two of us, but I think he was only saying that to be kind. I do not want him to feel alone, especially tonight."

The Asgardian did not want to say, but he was worried about Clint. Since Ainsley was attacked, the archer had become increasingly withdrawn, his moods often dark and solitary. He had left the party even before them, clearly uncomfortable with so many strangers around. Perhaps if he were with the two of them it would be better for him. Ainsley took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze

"It's your call, Snuggie Bear; but I would love to have you both with me if you don't mind."

Thor swallowed a mouthful of wine and grinned. Perhaps he could afford to be a little selfish

"I will ask him to bring another bottle down when we have finished this one."

###

Clint was in his 'nest'; the small platform at the summit of Stark Tower where he was certain he could be sure of solitude. No-one except for the maintenance teams had come up here since the Portal Device was removed and he doubted that anyone else would know how to find the access stairs. He'd found his way here through the ventilation ducts and claimed it for his own, stashing some camping gear and supplies so if he wanted he could sleep out on the coldest of nights.

The night was mild for mid-November, not exactly t-shirt and shorts weather but he could get away with jeans and a thick hoodie. He'd unrolled the sleeping bag and lay back staring up at the sky, too much light pollution to see the stars but he tracked the lights of the planes passing overhead; trying to guess origin and destination by the angles of approach and descent. Clint had been spending a lot of time alone up here recently, endeavouring to sort his head out and get away from the good advice that everyone seemed determined to pile on him.

Yeah, he should be trying to connect with Abel but he had no idea how to. His only meeting with the boy hadn't left many openings for father/son bonding and there had been no request for another visit. Honest truth? He was scared of turning up and getting blocked. Maybe it was best leaving it up to Tasha to try and make another opening for him to try again. He could see in her eyes she agreed with Stark and Doc but at least she was leaving him alone about it for now. Thor? He could see the way the Big Blond looked at him; worrying but unable to find the words to express his concern.

He sighed and pulled his hood up to keep his ears warm and block out some of the sounds drifting up from the party down below. Usually this was one of the few places he felt safe without his hearing aids but tonight he wanted to be on alert. The sound of the access panel opening had him up in a crouch with his knife in his hand, ready to strike.

"Hey Barton! Easy!"

It was Steve, coming through carefully with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Clint relaxed slightly but his face showed his annoyance. This was his alone space.

"How'd ya find me, Cap?"

Steve held out the bottle as a peace offering. Normally he would never have intruded on Barton when he wanted to be alone but the archer had looked out of sorts all evening and he wanted to be sure he was ok.

"You weren't in your apartment or with Dr Kerr. Just left one place really. Drink with me?

Clint heard the faint slur in Steve's voice

"Cap, are you drunk?" the soldier's face was flushed and he was grinning a bit too broadly.

"Been putting a dent in Tony's rare single malts, payback for throwing a party none of us wanted. I'm going to have one hell of a head in a couple of hours."

Dr Erskine's serum had speeded up his metabolism to four times that of a normal human being. Despite the joke to the contrary he could get drunk; it just took him a lot more alcohol and lasted less time. Unfortunately, it also meant the hangover came that much sooner

Clint laughed and opened the bottle. He took a slug and looked at the label.

"Holy Shit! This stuff is over $1500 a bottle! How many have you had?"

Steve looked a bit sheepish and held up three fingers. Clint laughed again and high-fived the soldier

"Glad to be your partner in crime, my man! Don't tell me I'm finally being a bad influence on you?"

Steve sat down on the floor with his back to the barrier. He looked up at the night sky above. This was where Loki had used the Tesseract to rip open the sky, unleashing the Chitauri on New York. Shivering a bit at the memory he took the bottle from Clint and had a swig.

"Maybe it's about time someone was…"

Clint sat down beside him. He'd never seen Cap like this, the guy clearly had something on his mind.

"You okay, Steve?" The soldier laughed

"That's the question I came up to ask you. You've been a bit too quiet tonight for my liking."

Clint shrugged

"Like you said, none of us except Tony wanted this party. Just gotta show enough face so he doesn't get the huff, then make like a banana"

Steve looked bemused

"And split." Explained Clint "You had that expression in the '40s, right?"

"Probably, just never heard it before. Tasha and Dr Banner took off a while back, Thor's just headed down to keep Dr Kerr company." He swallowed some more whiskey and glanced at Clint "You not joining them?"

Clint shook his head

"Nah, giving them some alone time tonight."

Steve frowned, deep down inside him that just felt plain wrong

"Clint, you always gonna be happy to take second place?"

The archer looked up in surprise. Steve didn't use his first name and never talked that bluntly about the personal relationships in the team, the guy must be drunk! Well, he'd asked…

"Truth? I don't think about it like that. There's me and Doc and there's Doc and Thor. He was with Thor first so I gotta respect that and let them have their space."

The soldier shrugged passed the bottle back across to Clint

"Sorry, still sounds like second place to me. Just hope maybe you'll find someone who'll give you first place all the time."

He lapsed into a thoughtful silence and Clint took another couple of swigs. Just when he thought life couldn't get any weirder he'd got a drunk Cap trying to give him relationship advice.

"Can I ask you something Clint? Tell me to shut up if you don't want to answer."

Clint hesitated, not sure of the direction the conversation was going to take and uncertain if he wanted to go wherever it was going. Oh well, he didn't have much planned for tonight, might as well take the plunge

"Sure Steve, fire away"

"Do you think I might be bisexual?"

Whoa! That came out of nowhere!

He took a long drink of the scotch and passed it back to Steve, weighing up how to respond.

"I dunno Steve, what makes you ask?"

The bigger man's face was the colour of a tomato. He put down the bottle and took a deep breath

"The other day. You and Thor were in the gym… I kinda saw you."

It was Clint's turn to go bright red

"Oh fuck! Cap, I'm sorry, it'll not happen again…"

Steve raised a hand to shut him up

"It's not that, although if you could keep it in the bedroom from now on that'd be great. It's just, while I was looking, I…"

"Ohhhh!" exclaimed Clint, realising what Steve was talking about "It flicked your switch?"

The soldier nodded, too embarrassed to respond; hoping Barton wouldn't make some sleazy joke or, worse, try and hit on him.

"That ever happen to you before?"

Steve shook his head. He'd heard about guys getting it on the army, buddies helping each other out if there were no girls around, but it was something he'd never considered. Okay; maybe he'd thought about it with Bucky once or twice but, he'd have been too scared to ask a girl, let alone his best buddy. Even touching himself felt kinda wrong and dirty. Mama said it was something only bad boys did.

"Didn't never think about it."

Clint grinned, despite himself, he'd hung around Doc and his psych talk long enough to catch the double negative. Cap was going to regret this conversation when he sobered up in an hour or so but he had to give the guy some kinda way out, it was clearly bugging him deep down and tonight wasn't the best time to talk about it.

"Neither did I until the first time it happened. Musta been about 17, hiding out in a squat near Buffalo. Got high with these two cute goths and ended up in the sack with them. By the time I realised one was a guy I was too horny to care."

He patted Steve on the shoulder

"Point is, Cap, I ain't got a magic 8-Ball to say if you are or not. Maybe you were just mega-horny and Thor and I put on a good show, you gotta go with what your gut says is right for you."

Steve threw his head back and laughed

"For a psychologist, you make a great assassin!"

Clint thumped his arm with a mock-frown

"Talk to me when you're sober if you want proper advice, 'cause Drunk Cap is freaking me out."

Steve grabbed Clint's hand and held it hard, staring at him intensely

"Find someone who'll give you first place, man! You deserve it!"

Clint's phone buzzed, a text from Thor.

Thanks Blondie!

CLIENT, PLEASE COME AND JOHN US TONIGHT. BRING WINE B T

He freed his hand from Steve's grip and patted his face.

"I gotta go; drink plenty water, Cap. You'll thank me in a couple of hours."

###

Bruce kissed Natasha's shoulder

"You're still very tense" he whispered in her ear. She rolled over to face him

"Too many people around tonight, and just now I don't trust anyone who isn't us."

He pushed a few strands of hair back from her face. Her eyes were serious, troubled. Normally the hours they had together were times when she felt she could relax for a little but recently even Bruce's company didn't dispel the anxiety.

"Do you really think it's that bad?" He knew that trying to trace the links between SHIELD and Barney Barton was uncovering a troubling maze of misdirection and dead ends within the secretive intelligence organization, above and beyond what they already took for granted.

"I think it's worse than we can imagine" she admitted with a heavy sigh "SHIELD's compromised, I can feel it and so can Fury I'm sure; but without hard proof or any clear leads all we can do is keep our eyes open and watch each other's backs."

Bruce propped himself up on one elbow, trying to remember a time when pillow talk didn't involve intrigue on a Byzantine scale.

"Have you spoken to the others?"

She shook her head

"Steve's a soldier, he doesn't trust spies full stop. Tony and Ainsley work with SHIELD; not for it. They don't have the inside feel and to be honest they're already ambivalent enough about it to be on their guard. As for Clint, despite SHIELD turning its collective back on him he still feels the need to believe that it works, especially now that he's relying on them to fix Abel the way he thinks they fixed him. He'd listen to me but he wouldn't want to believe me and right now it would just screw with his mind."

He raised an eyebrow

"You don't think SHIELD fixed Clint?" There was a faint hint of sarcasm in his voice

"They made him functional and Coulson held him together but he's still a mess inside. You weren't around him in the weeks after New York. Even once he'd come through clearance and debrief we had him on unofficial suicide watch for over a month. Everything that's happened recently has just brought it all back to the surface. If it wasn't for Ainsley and Thor giving him some sort of stability I think he'd lose it completely."

Bruce smiled, if he were a lesser man he'd be jealous of the closeness between Nat and Clint. The two of them could fight like tomcats but shared an emotional intimacy and understanding born out of what they had been through together. She'd told him of the one time they tried to take things to a physical level; an embarrassing and awkward encounter in a cheap hotel room in Buenos Aires, thankfully interrupted by the soldiers of the Bolivian druglord they were tailing, and a running gun battle through the back streets dressed only in their underwear. Frankly, he could have lived without the mental image of Clint in Batman briefs.

"So where does that leave us?"

She drew him towards her and kissed his forehead.

"We'll do what we always do, take each moment that we get and make the most of it."

He put his arms around her

"Natasha Romanoff, have I told you that I love you today?"

She looked at the clock

"It's 1am so no, not today so far." Her expression became serious again "If things go bad, we need a contingency to get you deep off-grid"

He bent his head and brushed her breast with his lips

"Let's save that conversation for a different moment."

###

Like most of Tony's parties this one looked like it would be going strong until the early hours of the morning at least. It took all of Clint's stealth training to get down to the pantry without being dragged onto the dancefloor, playing a few rounds of beer-pong or ending up in the hot tub. He had managed to overhear Tony and Pepper having a shouting match in Tony's study which didn't bode well for later but he accomplished his mission, extracted two bottles of vintage red and a Tennessee Sour Mash for himself then headed down to home base.

Thor and Ainsley were in bed talking when he arrived. Putting the bottles down on the nightstand he quickly stripped of and climbed in with them. His face fell as he saw the scars on the doctor's pale slim torso. He traced one gently with a fingertip

"Those were meant for me Doc, I'm so sorry."

Ainsley pulled his head down and kissed him

"This is not your fault" he whispered in the archer's ear "I'll not let you blame yourself for this"

Thor's mouth was on his now; the Asgardian's tongue was rough, raspy like a cat's and the way he kissed could melt rock.

"You bear too many burdens, my warrior brother" Thor's voice was low and fierce "Let us help you carry them and see them set down where they truly belong."

Clint looked at them both, seeing the love and the concern in the way they both regarded him. He couldn't think of anyone who had ever looked at him that way, not even Tina or Laura, loving him for who he was; not some expectation or fantasy of what he ought to be. Steve was wrong, this wasn't second place.

"Awww guys…" his voice was breaking "I'm such a fucking mess, why've you gotta be so good to me?"

They held him in their arms as he sobbed out the grief and pain of the past weeks. He could hear Doc's gentle voice in his ear

"We'll be your wings, Hawk. Don't be afraid, we'll be here to hold you up."

###

It looked like some of the after-party had spilled down into the living area. That pissed him off. Okay, it was still Tony's penthouse but they kinda had an unspoken agreement that this part was their private space and off-limits to casual guests.

Clint shovelled coffee into the machine and switched it on then started hunting for an unused mug, or at least a fairly clean one. The voice behind him made him jump

"Hey man! You making enough for two?"

He turned, a tall African American guy in his early 30's was getting up from one of the couches where he'd been sleeping.

"Sorry man" he smiled "didn't mean to scare you. Crashed out last night and when I woke up there was no-one around I knew. Figured I'd just put my head down here rather than go wandering."

He held out his hand

"Name's Sam Wilson, I'm a friend of Steve's."

Clint stared at the extended hand for a second then shook it

"Clint. I'll find another mug."

Number one rule in the Penthouse was "Except in the case of an imminent world-ending event, do NOT attempt any form of communication with Barton before he's had his first coffee of the day."

"So, I'm guessing you live here?" the man called Sam continued, blithely unaware that getting between a mother bear and her cub was usually deemed safer than what he was currently doing "You work for Mr Stark?"

"Yeah, security stuff," grunted Clint, desperately willing the coffee to drip through faster and hoping that he'd managed to somehow learn telepathic communication at some point during the night

Shutupshutupshutupshutupwillyoushutup

"Must be a 24/7 job with a guy like Stark" Sam was clearly a morning person and immune to the archer's subtle hints "No wonder he's got you living on the premises. That man throws some wild parties."

"Sure does." Coffee was almost there, not long now…

"Bit too wild for my taste." He laughed, looking slightly embarrassed "To be honest I only came because I thought there might be a chance some of the Avengers would be here."

Clint threw him a sidelong glance. If the guy was a friend of Steve's he was probably okay, although he wasn't aware of Steve having any friends under the age of 90. Having a total stranger come out with something like that set all his alarm bells ringing.

"They keep a pretty low profile." He'd got the coffee jug in his hand now. There was still a bit dripping through onto the hotplate but having something heavy, glass and full of scalding liquid in his hand made him feel more comfortable in case things got nasty.

"For sure, yeah. Saw a couple of guys I thought might be Thor but it's hard to tell. Every big blond dude seems to be working that look these days." He saw the jug in Clint's hand. "Great, coffee! Just black no sugar for me."

Clint filled a mug and shoved it over then filled one for himself, topping it up with half a dozen heaped tablespoons of sugar. Sam grinned

"Damn, that's some rocket fuel you got going there. Must really need it after last night."

"Yeah" came the short reply and Clint started swallowing the steaming, sickly mixture down, waiting for the sugar and caffeine rush to kick in.

Sam took the chance to study the guy in front of him as he drank his own coffee. Just under 6', lean and tough with more than his fair share of scars. Looked like he'd seen some heavy combat, probably ex special forces if he was one of Tony Stark's personal security contingent. Wasn't coming across as being too friendly but then that probably came with the job description.

"So how do you know Steve?" Clint asked, the coffee starting to unglue his social skills.

"Through the Veteran's Association Home in Washington" Sam explained "I do some voluntary work there, helping out with PTSD counselling. Steve visits some of the older guys a lot. We got talking and he's got me helping out with a couple of projects he's working on."

Just 'cause this guy worked for Stark he couldn't risk assuming he knew about this Academy Project that Steve had persuaded him to sign up for. Truth be told he didn't know that much about it himself but it sounded different and he felt like having a bit of different in his life.

"So, living here you must see the Avengers around quite a bit?" He knew he was sounding dangerously like a fanboy but an opportunity like this might not come up again. "Was kinda hoping I might bump into Hawkeye last night, maybe get some marksmanship tips. Hear that guy's the best there is."

He saw the look in the other man's eyes when he mentioned Hawkeye. Bad blood between them perhaps? He'd heard the guy had a bit of a rep because of something that had happened before the Battle of New York. As far as Sam was concerned what he'd done since should've pretty much cancelled that out.

"Like I said, they keep a low profile apart from Stark" He was fixing tea for Thor and Ainsley, trying to figure out some way of getting rid of this chatty newcomer. This Sam might well be on the level but his insistence was putting Clint on edge and he was paranoid enough as it was. "Privacy's pretty important to them."

"Sure man!" Sam's smile was apologetic "Didn't mean to push. You probably signed all sorts of non-disclosure stuff."

"Yeah, something like that." He was being a jerk and he knew it, but making chirpy morning small talk with the team wasn't high on Clint's list of favourite things at the best of times. Being bright and breezy with a total stranger didn't even get near the top 100. Luckily, he could see Steve coming out of the elevator. The soldier blushed a bit when he saw Clint; yeah, he remembered their conversation from last night. They'd need to have a proper talk later.

"I gotta take these down to some people" he said, putting the mugs on a tray. "Speak to you later, Steve."

Sam watched as the archer retreated to the stairs, as the door closed he turned to his friend

"Somehow I don't think that guy likes me."

Steve laughed

"Clint's not a morning person, and he gets pretty nervous around folk he doesn't know. Stark throwing that party put him on edge a bit."

"You think?" replied Sam with a raise of his eyebrows "Didn't seem to be the only one. Most of Stark's people were gone well before midnight."

He paused, unsure if what he was about to say would seem out of order

"That guy getting counselling? Cause he's in serious bad shape. Stark had better not be putting too much pressure on him right now…"

Steve nodded. Sam was good at what he did; almost as good as Dr Kerr in his own way.

"He's got someone he sees regularly. Just been a lot of tension around here lately; last night wasn't the best time to have you over. Once things are a bit calmer I'll invite you back and we can do some proper introductions..."

He grinned and patted his friend on the back

"…might even persuade a couple of the Avengers to show face. Let's go grab some breakfast and I'll see you to the airport"

###

Natasha had left the Penthouse early, hoping that a morning run would clear her head. The trail to Barney Barton had gone cold again. One promising lead had come up in the form of the girlfriend of an associate who'd been providing information on a weapon smuggling racket across the Mexican border, but she'd gone missing some months ago, and the agent who was handling her checked out. She hadn't closed the book on that one yet, but unless they could get a trace on the woman it might as well be a dead end.

The same had happened with the surveillance of Dr Osario and her staff. Clint's trauma counsellor had been a prime suspect to begin with, but her involvement with him was too recent and there was nothing to link her with anyone who had a connection to Barney.

She'd nicknamed it 'Project Sisyphus' after the figure in Greek mythology condemned to roll a giant stone up a mountainside, only to have it forever slip his grasp and roll back down to the bottom just before he completed the task. Clint's need to close the book on his brother she could understand, but it was beginning to feel like a distraction.

Barney was a problem requiring a solution, that much she would admit, but trying to solve it was taking up too much of the team's energy and causing them to lose sight of the bigger game being played. Of course, it would help if they had an idea of what the bigger game might be. If getting the Avengers paranoid and on edge was part of it, then it was succeeding.

As she completed her third lap Tasha had to acknowledge they might have to let this one go on the back burner for the time being. Fury assured her he had his most trusted people working the leads and until something solid came up all they had was empty speculation. Clint wouldn't be happy; he was itching for a showdown but there was no point in throwing punches at empty air, besides she wasn't convinced that having him involved in his brother's takedown would be wise or even safe. It felt like that would be playing into Barney's hands one way or another.

The guy had gone completely off the radar, that could mean someone else had got to him first or he was smarter than they thought. Either possibility took them into dangerous territory. As she launched into her fourth lap she felt her phone vibrate. She glanced at the message ID; Trickshot?!

Hey Little Red! Bring Uncle Buck a bottle of scotch and he'll give you a nice surprise.