AN: Ok, I'm going to let you read this one first. Then I'll talk about it. I don't know. BTW, this is the problem child. Enjoy!

But there's only so many streets, so many lights
I swear it's like I can't even leave my house
I should've known all along
You gotta move or move on
When you break up in a small town

"Break Up in a Small Town" – Sam Hunt

The Past

I know I told you that Kim and Rachel became uneasy friends. You might wonder how in the world that happened. Well, it wasn't like any of us did it on purpose. It was life intervening and making us choose to go down a path. We could have continued to live this separate existence, but fate made other plans for us. I had not really kept tabs on Kim much or if I was honest I had tried not to listen to stuff about her personal life. Sure, I knew that after Roman had left that she had dated around. There was the firefighter, the paramedic, the lawyer, and the pilot. The last one was the one that had seemed to stick around for the longest, but I had heard that they had broken up several weeks ago. Kevin had said something about her having a hard time with this one, but I had only nodded and left it at that. It wasn't that I didn't care. I did. I didn't want her to be hurting. I still cared about her, but I knew she had Kevin and Erin and I figured they would take care of her. I guess I over estimated how much she would actually confide in them.

It was late on a Friday night. Rachel and I had just made it to bed after she had gotten in from the hospital and I had stumbled in from a case. We were both just looking forward to getting some sleep when my phone rang. I knew that we were still in the mist of the case and that something could have jumped off so I answered it without even looking at the number. It was 2am, so I just assumed that it could only be work. I was shocked when I heard Herman's voice on the other end.

"Hey, Ruzek. Man, I hate to call you but you are the first person I could get a hold of. I got Burgess here and I really don't think she is in any condition to take a cab home. I tried to get a hold of Lindsay and Atwater, but no one picked up."

I cursed under my breath. It wasn't like I was just going to leave her there.

"Ok, I'll head that way. What do you mean you don't want to put her in a cab?"

"Um…I'm not sure she can even stand. Let alone walk. Just come. Once, again. I wouldn't have called you but I didn't know who else to call that wouldn't get her in trouble at work."

"Don't worry about it. I'm on my way."

I turned to look at Rachel and I tried to figure out how I was going to explain this.

"What's going on? Work?"

I could have taken the out. Said it was a CI that I was helping out, but I hadn't lied to Rachel yet and I wasn't starting now.

"Herman. Kim's at Molly's and apparently he doesn't feel comfortable putting her in a cab. I was the only one that picked up."

"He doesn't want to put her in a cab? That's bad. Give me a second. I'll go with you."

"Rachel, you don't have to."

"Adam, you are going to need help if she is that bad. Plus, I can help in a way that most can't. Let's go."

On our way out the door, Rachel grabbed a bag that reminded me of the packs that the paramedics carry. I had no idea that she had it, but I guess I should have.

We arrived at Molly's and Herman wasn't lying. Kim was now sitting on the floor and she was obviously inebriated. There were tear marks down her cheeks that could not be obscured even if she had her head in her hands. Herman stood up and made his way to me as Rachel walked around him and straight to Kim.

"What the hell happened?"

"She was hanging out with the squad guys tonight. You know how they get. Shot after shot. I think they got a kick out of watching to see how well she could handle her liquor. I tried to cut them off at one point, but I guess they got one of the other bartenders that was new to keep the tab open. I'm sorry, man. Needless to say, I will be having a word with them tomorrow."

"Good."

I made my way over to Rachel and Kim. Kim was still crying and I could tell that she had not even fully comprehended who was kneeling down in front of her.

"Kim, can I have your arm. Just one honey. I just want to get some fluids into you. It will help make you feel better."

Kim handed over the arm that was closest to Rachel but she continued to look away and balanced her head on her arm and leg.

"She's dizzy. Good thing Herman got us here when he did. I'd bet she was headed towards alcohol poisoning. I'm going to get a line into her to try and get her rehydrated."

I watched as Rachel quickly got the IV going and injected something into the bag.

"Hold that."

She handed me the bag to hold as she continued to tape the line to Kim's arm to keep it stable. Kim finally looked up to see who was helping her.

"Oh God."

The shock must have been too much. I could see her turning green and luckily Herman had the fore thought to have a bucket nearby. I knew then that it was going to be a long night. Rachel was holding Kim's hair as she looked up to me.

"You're going to have to carry her out. I'll stay in the back with her. We'll take her back to our place. She can't be by herself tonight. Do you know when her next shift is?"

I didn't but I knew I could find out. We got her home and set up in the spare room we had. I had never seen Kim that out of control and could not imagine what got her there. She wouldn't even look at me as I had carried her to the truck and then up to the apartment. I actually thought I would be in the dark as to what happened till I went to put her in the bed. Rachel was carrying the IV bag and getting ready to give me more instructions when Kim looked me right in the eye.

"Why do all men leave?"

"What?"

The question shocked and confused me all at the same time. It didn't make any sense. I never left. Kim turned away and Rachel put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't take it personally. She's still not completely coherent."

Rachel had me go find a command hook so she could make a makeshift IV stand on the wall. I got called into work not long after that. I ended up texting Rachel later when Kim's next shift was and luckily she had the next day off. More than enough time to sleep it off. I can remember the following day at work seeing Kim and she still looked a bit rough around the edges, but no one else would be the wiser. She made her way up to me when I wasn't surrounded by people and we had at least some privacy.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other night. I'm sure Rachel told you what happened."

"No, she didn't."

Kim looked shocked.

"She didn't?"

"No. I'm sure she felt that if you wanted me to know that you would tell me whatever it is."

"Wow. Okay. Um, it won't happen again."

"I'm not worried about that. Please, just promise me that whatever is going on that you will talk to someone. That wasn't just a whoops I drank too much last night thing. I know you. Something is up."

"My Dad died. Ok... we weren't exactly talking. With everything else. I guess I wasn't handling it as well as I thought."

That clicked some things into place for me. She was getting ready to turn away to leave and I couldn't leave things at that.

"We don't all leave you know. You will find someone that won't."

Kim just nodded and then turned and left. What I didn't know then was that Kim had basically spilled her guts to Rachel without really thinking about who she was talking to after I left. When she finally woke the next morning, she had tried to apologize to Rachel, and just assumed that Rachel would spill everything she said to me. When Kim realized that Rachel wasn't the type, it laid a foundation of trust between the two. They no longer avoided each other and she and I no longer did, either. That night bonded us in a way that I couldn't have ever expected. I could also never explain it to our friends. I still hadn't forgiven her, but I had let her back into my life.

The Present

Yeah, Kim was back in my life. I wondered if she wasn't back in a bit too far. Like comfortable enough to call Rachel's Dad and her friends to get them to come to Chicago for Isabelle's first birthday despite my protest. Not that I didn't want to see them. I did. I just wanted to do it at a time that wouldn't be such a mixed bag of emotion. I had tried to bring that up to her.

"I'm thinking of just having my Dad, step mother, aunts and uncles over for her birthday. I mean she isn't going to remember it and I'm not sure how I am going to handle that day."

Kim immediately looked angry. She was holding Isabelle since she had been watching her this evening while I had been out with Kev for work.

"There is no way in hell I am letting that happen. It doesn't matter that she won't remember it. She will want to see pictures when she is older. Besides, it's her Birthday! You can't let that day be anything but that. Nope, not happening. Sorry."

"Kim, I'm her father. I can make that decision if I want to."

"Fine. You can... but that doesn't mean I can't throw her a party if I want to."

"Just do it on another day."

"Maybe I will."

She tucked Isabelle's head under her chin and turned to take her towards the nursery.

I wasn't winning this one. When Rachel's father found out that I was thinking about not having a party, he insisted on flying out and told me point blank that we would have a party. Ouch. Then he told me that Steve and the gang would be flying in as well because someone had let them know that a party was already planned. Kim. Yeah. Thanks.

I once again should have known that the women in my life are far wiser than I am. The party was the best idea ever. Watching Belle dive her little fingers into that giant cupcake was hilarious. Seeing Rachel's Dad and Steve and the crew all drinking beers and laughing with my family and the unit was amazing. Atwater and Steve kept having contests as to who had the bigger biceps or who could win in arm wrestling. I'm not sure these are the kinds of activities that should happen at a first birthday, but Belle sure will have some great pictures to look back at. And yes, I am now calling her Belle. I've given up. Rachel's Dad absolutely loved it and Steve told me that it fit. Said that there was no way in hell that Rachel would have anything but a "Southern Belle" as a daughter. I'm hoping that she takes after Belle from Disney and likes to read books in huge libraries, so the boys can't find her.

"She has an amazing smile."

I turned to look at Rachel's Dad and smiled.

"Yeah. She's just like Rachel."

"I'm not sure. She for sure has the eyes. I've been meaning to talk to you. I brought Rachel's ashes."

My blood froze in my veins. I wasn't sure I could handle this conversation.

"We spread some at the campsite. I was thinking that maybe you knew of a place here that she would like. I want you and Isabelle to have a place to go to feel close to her if you want."

I didn't know how I felt about that, but I knew the place.

"I know a place. I'll have to talk to my aunt and uncle, but I'm sure they would be okay with it."

"Ok. How about tomorrow?"

"Sure."

The next day came and I found myself driving Belle and Rachel's father towards Aunt Carol's. Steve and the rest of the crew were following behind us. The actual process of spreading her ashes was actually quite peaceful with the sun shining and everyone standing around me on the dock. Rachel's Father held Belle the whole time and he let me truly say goodbye. My Aunt was the best hostess on such short notice. I felt bad, but she insisted on having some food since we would be driving quite a distance. I was standing around sipping my drink when Rachel's father came up to me. I guess I should start calling him Robert. He came up next to me and sighed as he watched Steve tickling the heck out of Belle.

"My daughter had good friends."

"Yes, she did."

"So do you. That group you work with is one of a kind. They all seem to really care about you and Belle."

"They do. They've been a huge help."

"Kim seems like a sweetheart. So good with Belle."

"She is."

"Rachel would want you to move on. I want you to know that I know that."

My eyes were bugging.

"Sir, there is nothing going on between Kim and I."

"I know that, Son. I'm just saying. I know what my daughter would want. She wanted it for me. I sometimes regret that I didn't open myself up to the possibility. Or I wonder. That's all. You're much younger than I was. You have a lot of time hopefully. Plus, Belle deserves to see you happy. I just wanted to be able to tell you this in person, so you knew I meant every word."

I was in shock and Robert knew it. He patted me on the shoulder and walked over to save poor Belle before she laughed herself into a fit. The weekend had been an emotional roller coaster and I still wasn't sure how I was faring. I guess I will have to wait till everyone leaves and I am able to relax again.

Post Note: Ok, and now for the problem child. Not sure why I feel this way about this chapter. I just do. I'll let you in on a bit of the process for this story. I already have all the past flashback chapters written. When I wrote this part it kind of bothered me. I know the back story in my mind as to what happens that Adam isn't privy to, so I know it fits for the emotional progression that Kim is going through in the story, but I don't know. I guess as a writer when you love a character it is sometimes hard to put them through the wringer, but at the same time...I find it very plausible. Some may disagree with me about Kim's character, but for me...those people that try to hold onto pride and act like things are not affecting them...typically are the ones that lose it the worst when they finally let go. And lets be honest...Kim has gone through a lot. Broken engagement, partner she was in a relationship with getting shot, and then said partner/lover leaving town due to losing his job on top of the whole trial thing. The girl is way over due for a breakdown. I have an idea for a Kim out take that would involve part of her conversation with Rachel. Not sure if I want to add it or just leave it as is. I might address it later in the story, so I haven't decided what I want to do. We will see.