Chapter 20:
A.N.: Wow you guys really didn't like the idea of Antonio and Brittany having sex. I'm not that mean, but I guess I deserved it since I left the last chapter like that. ;p So anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
Brittany was sitting on the couch with little Alice trying to decide what movie the little blonde wanted to watch. I was leaning against the counter in the kitchen but I wasn't paying much attention to them. I was too busy being confused.
When we had arrived Maribel told me to get the kid and go away before my uncle pushed me towards Brittany's apartment building. Then he hugged Brittany and they exchanged a few words but I was too far away to hear what they were saying. Then my father went near her, and he probably asked to talk to her alone, because she nodded her head and followed him away from the others.
At first Antonio looked angry and pointed at my mother while saying something that I couldn't hear. But Brittany didn't seem to care about my father's distress. She pointed at herself and then at me and I frowned because I wanted to go there and find out what they were talking about. But then my father nodded at her and Brittany turned to leave. She went to my mother who said something smiling sadly, making the blonde to look down and nod her head. Then Maribel cupped Brittany's cheeks and the blonde leaned down so my mother could kiss her forehead and cheeks and then they hugged tightly. When Brittany came back, I had seen her red eyes for the second time that day.
"Ok." Brittany breathed, breaking me out of my confusing thoughts. I hadn't even realized that she came in the kitchen. I frowned at her and she sighed. "I really don't want to talk about this." She mumbled and I went to protest but she interrupted me. "And maybe you don't want to know. But you have the right to know, so…" She trailed off and shrugged. I tried my hardest to force away the thoughts that were trying to get in my mind. "I know your dad from Chicago." She started, practically confirming my suspicions. My father was an auditor before he retired and he travelled a lot, so it made sense that he would be in Chicago.
"No." I said and shook my head. "You don't know him." I said and pointed at her. Brittany frowned at me and opened her mouth to speak but I didn't let her. "My dad wouldn't do that. That's fucking disgusting." I whispered and cringed at the image of Brittany and my father together. This couldn't be happening, my father wouldn't cheat on my mother. I started pacing in front of her, shaking my head and mumbling 'no'. Brittany came to me and stopped me. She grabbed the back of my head with one hand and with her free hand she covered my mouth so I would stop saying 'no'.
"I did not have sex with your dad." Brittany said slowly and looked at me pointedly. I cringed again at the image before my brain actually processed what she said. I stared at her and she took her hands away from me and took a couple of steps back. "But it's fucking great that you finally voiced your thoughts about my job." She said and frowned at me and I frowned back. "It feels good, doesn't it? To finally let out what you really feel." She told me sarcastically.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. Brittany arched her eyebrows at me and shrugged. "I didn't mean it like that." I said, relieved that they didn't have sex but still wondering how they knew each other, if that wasn't the case.
"Oh really? How did you mean it then?" She asked me challengingly but didn't let me speak. "'My dad wouldn't have sex with a prostitute. That's fucking disgusting.'" She tried to mimic what I had said earlier. "Like your dad is a fucking saint or something." She added and I huffed.
"What's your problem with my dad?" I asked but she didn't say anything and looked away from me. I sighed. "And you need to stop being so defensive about your job. I thought you didn't care what others think about it." I told her pointedly.
"I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, Santana!" She snapped at me. Then she remembered her daughter and turned around to find her watching Lion King on the TV. Little Alice didn't hear her so she sighed before turning back to me. "But I guess I'm stupid enough to care about what you think." She said more calmly and went to lean against the wall on my left. I sighed and turned to her.
"You're not stupid, Britt. I meant that my dad wouldn't cheat on my mom with anyone. And the image of the one person that I care for so much and my dad together is disturbing! Can't you see that?" I asked exasperated. Brittany sighed and ran both her hands through her blonde hair.
"Yeah, I guess I can understand that." She mumbled quietly and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I care about you too." She added then, effectively causing my heart to beat faster.
"And I told you a thousand times, I don't have a problem with your old job. Do we really have to have that conversation every time we have an argument?" I asked her and she looked away from me.
"I just don't want you to get disgusted by me." She whispered. I sighed and went to stand right in front of her.
"That won't happen, I promise." I said softly, trying to find her eyes again. "I'm not disgusted by you. I really really like you. I'm so attracted to you." I shrugged and Brittany swallowed thickly before turning to look at me and nodding. "So how do you know my dad then?" I asked her and she sighed.
"He sold me." She said vaguely and I stared at her.
"He sold you?" I asked and she nodded at me. "How? Where? I don't understand." I said and Brittany looked away from me again.
"It was maybe eleven years ago. He came out of one of those bars and we were there. Me and another woman. And he said that we had to have sex with some guys. We had an argument, then he apologized to us and then he left." She said and pushed herself off the wall and walked away from me and towards the table. She sat on the chair as I turned to her. "Then those guys came out of the bar. We didn't really have any choice." She said emotionless, not looking at me. I stared at her not really able to believe that my dad would do that. "How ironic, I paid for him then and I paid for him again now. But that time it wasn't with money." She said but I was still staring at her. I didn't know what to say. What were the chances of my father meeting Brittany like that eleven years ago?
"Britt." I started but she spoke up again.
"I understand desperation. I understand now that he lost money because he's a gambler. And he apologized to us. He apologized then and he apologized today. But that doesn't make it ok." She said and brought her feet up on the chair and hugged her knees.
"I need to understand." I mumbled and rubbed my temples. "He lost money so he paid with prostitutes? Like you were forced to have sex with the guys that won because my dad told you so?" I asked her and she frowned at me.
"Yes. Every time some random asshole told me to, I was spreading my legs just for the fun of it." She told me sarcastically and I cringed at her words. "Not because I had to feed my baby sister. No." She continued and I frowned but I decided to ignore her sarcastic attitude.
"What about Matt?" I wondered and she sighed.
"He wasn't there. But even if he was, what was he supposed to do? He would be one and they would be six? I don't really remember. We were still kids, only sixteen." She shrugged. "I thought I might as well agree and not get hurt again." She mumbled. My face fell and I went by her side and knelt down on the floor. My heart broke at what Brittany told me. Firstly, because I couldn't believe that someone would do that to her and secondly, because that someone was my own father. It made me realize how serious was his addiction problem, leading him to do such inhuman thing. I figured I would be fighting with him about this too.
"You got hurt a lot?" I asked whispering and she looked down at me and nodded her head. "I'm sorry." I told her but she shrugged at me like she didn't care about it. "Do you hate my dad?" I asked her then.
"Hate is a really powerful emotion, San." She told me quietly and I swallowed thickly. I didn't want Brittany to hate my father but what he did was really bad and it would make sense if he wasn't her favorite person. "I don't hate him. I told you he apologized." She mumbled and I frowned.
"You said you had an argument though?" I asked her remembering what she had said earlier and Brittany nodded.
"We said no at first, me and that other woman, but your dad kept pleading. It was obvious that he was desperate and didn't want to do what he was doing. But I didn't even know him, why should I feel bad for him? Who was gonna feel bad for me, San?" She asked me but I didn't know what to say so I just held her hand in mine. "He kept pleading and apologizing but we still said no. I wasn't having sex with strangers because I was enjoying it. So anyway, he said one last time that he was sorry and then he pointed to those guys and left." She said and I shook my head. I had a hard time believing that my dad would do that.
"And what did he tell you today?" I asked her and she shrugged.
"I told you, he apologized." She told me looking away from me and I frowned.
"Don't lie to me, Britt." I told her and tugged her hand so she would look at me. When she did I continued. "I saw him pointing at my mom." I said pointedly and Brittany sighed.
"He said that if I told you about it he would tell your mom about me being a prostitute." She said and I narrowed my eyes.
"He threatened you?" I asked slowly and she nodded. "I can't believe this." I huffed.
"It's fine. I'd tell you anyway. And your mom's great, San. She's great." She told me and I smiled softly. Maribel was great and I was glad that Brittany thought so too. Because my father was making me feel ashamed.
"My mom would be fine with it, Britt." I told her and brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it. She smiled at me, effectively causing my heart to flutter inside my chest. But then I remembered Brittany's interactions with my mother. "Do you know my mom too?" I asked her and she arched an eyebrow at me.
"I met her today." She told me pointedly and I frowned.
"Then what could she possibly say to make you cry? Twice?" I asked and she frowned at me.
"I wasn't crying." She said defensively. "She's just really great." She mumbled and I frowned questioningly at her. Brittany sighed and went to talk but a tiny voice interrupted her.
"Mommy?" Alice called quietly and we both turned around to see a pale Alice breathing heavily. I noticed that she could barely keep her eyes open. I immediately stood up and dropped Brittany's hand so she could stand too and go to her daughter. She crouched down in front of her just in time to catch little Alice who fell in her arms. "I want to sleep." She mumbled weakly against Brittany's neck. I pouted at the image of little Alice not being cheerful.
"Ok. Let's get you to bed." Brittany said and picked up her daughter.
"Tana." Little Alice said between her heavy breathing and Brittany turned around so they could both face me. Alice extended her hand, trying to reach me and I immediately went next to her and grabbed her tiny hand in mine. "Come." She told me and I looked at Brittany. She gestured for me to follow her so I kissed the little blonde's hand and mumbled 'ok' before dropping it and following them in little Alice's bedroom.
Brittany laid little Alice on her bed and sat by her side, leaning on the headboard and Alice put her head on her mother's lap. I stood there awkwardly, not really knowing where to put myself and not having any idea how to be around children. But Alice was teaching me, and she proved it once more by extending her hand and gesturing for me to come closer. So I did and sat on the side of the bed, opposite of Brittany.
"Tana, when are we gonna dance?" Alice asked me, while Brittany combed her daughter's blonde locks. I pouted at her, she looked so tired and drained and it was weird because she usually was full of life.
"For now, you should get some rest. And when you feel better we'll dance, I promise." I said softly but little Alice frowned at me.
"You always say that." She said and turned her head to rub her face on Brittany's thigh. I learnt by that time that when she rubbed her face it was a sign that she was tired and sleepy. But it still hurt a bit that she was disappointed with me. I didn't stall, it was just that we didn't find a good time yet. I didn't know that she was so serious about it.
"This time I mean it, ok Ali girl?" I asked softly and rubbed her back while she was still breathing heavily. She nodded at me and turned on her back, she extended her arms and waited for me to lean down and let her hug me. She kissed my cheek and I pulled back to look at her. "Sleep well." I whispered at her and leaned down to kiss her forehead. I straightened up again and watched as Brittany kissed her daughter's head too and we both stood up. The blonde put the railings on the sides of the bed and checked that the baby monitor was working. I figured that with the breathing problem that little Alice had, it was important that Brittany would watch her constantly. We left the room and when Brittany closed the door she turned to me biting her bottom lip.
"That wasn't good, San." She told me and I frowned questioningly at her. "She didn't even do anything today to be so tired. It's still noon." She said, the worry visible all over her face. I sighed and shrugged helplessly. I really had no idea what was going on with the kid. "We'll have to go to the doctor again." Brittany mumbled and turned to walk away from me.
"Hey!" I protested quietly and she turned to me again and grabbed my hand. I frowned questioningly when she led me to her bedroom and sat me on the bed. She sat next to me and put her legs cross-legged on the bed facing me.
"Are we ok with your dad?" She asked me and I frowned at her.
"There's nothing ok with what you told me, Britt." I told her and she sighed. She grabbed my hand and brought it on her lap and then looked at me pointedly.
"There's no reason to say anything to him. He apologized already." She said and I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Why did you change your mind all of a sudden?" I wondered and Brittany shrugged at me and started playing with my fingers, reminding me of little Alice.
"I was bitter but I thought better about it. He admitted that he did a mistake and then he apologized too. You should forgive him. He's your dad." She told me but I wasn't convinced.
"We ended up owing half a million dollars because we kept forgiving him, Britt." I said pointedly and she sighed looking down at our hands.
"I know, but he'll get help now. You don't know what tomorrow could bring you, San." She said quietly, still looking down and I frowned. "I mean I forgave him although he threatened that he'd say to your mom that I was a prostitute." She mumbled. I ignored everything she said though, I definitely wasn't ready to forgive him. So I focused on something else instead.
"Will you tell me what's going on with you and my mom?" I asked her and she stared at me before sighing. She got up from the bed and stood right in front of me. Her hands went to the hem of the tank top that she was wearing and my eyes widened.
"Wh-what are y-you doing?" I stuttered, my eyes glued on her hands. But Brittany didn't say anything. She just took her top off, revealing soft pale skin on defined abs and small, perky breasts enclosed in a black bra. But weirdly my eyes didn't linger for long on her chest and focused instead on a black dragon that occupied all her left side. The room was so silent that I could practically hear my heartbeats. "Britt." I breathed and went to touch the majestic dragon but when I realized what I was doing I took my hand back. But Brittany grabbed my hand and brought it up to her side again, silently telling me that it was ok to touch. And so I touched her tattoo. I traced the outline with my finger, starting from the side of her breast and all the way down to her hip, feeling Brittany tensing every now and then, and wondered what this tattoo meant. "What do dragons mean?" I voiced my question quietly.
"They're protectors of a treasure." Brittany whispered and I nodded while sliding my hand on her lower back and pulled her closer to me so she was standing between my legs. My other hand went to the back of her thigh to keep her close to me. I was practically eye-level with the dragon and so I leaned forward and kissed the tattoo, causing Brittany to tense and gasp before letting out a shaky breath and relaxing again, putting her hands on my shoulders.
"What's your treasure?" I asked against her skin, although I already knew that answer. I continued to leave small soft kisses all over her side, just enjoying the feeling of Brittany trembling against me and breathing heavily.
"My family." She said shakily and I stopped worshipping her tattoo to look up at her. "My sister and now my daughter too." She said and looked down at me. Her blue eyes bored into mine, sending shivers down my spine at the intensity of her piercing gaze.
"Brittany." I sighed. "Why?" I asked. I wanted to know why she had to take care of her sister. What happened to her? She took my hands away from her body and turned around to show me the tattoo she had on her lower back.
I swallowed thickly at what I saw. No. My eyes filled with tears at what this tattoo meant and I reached up to trace it with my fingers. I was actually afraid to touch it, it seemed to be sacred for the blonde. It all made sense, I just wondered how Maribel figured it out just from the first time they met.
"I was only fourteen." Brittany said shakily, she was probably trying not to cry. I slid my hands up her sides and over her stretch marks, admiring the evidence that this body had once little Alice inside of it. I stood up and turned Brittany around so we would face each other. When I looked in her eyes that were red, her tears finally ran down her cheeks. I reached up and wiped them away but new ones ran down her cheeks again.
"Baby, please don't cry." I said softly and went back to rubbing her bare sides up and down comfortingly. Brittany immediately cupped my cheeks and brought our faces just a few inches from each others. Her fast breaths were hitting my skin and I just wanted to lean forward and connect our lips.
"Baby." Brittany breathed, causing me to realize what I had said earlier. But before I could think to react she leaned in and kissed me. I kissed her back while my hands kept exploring the contours of her body and her defined abs. I lost myself in the kiss, all of my senses were invaded by Brittany. I could taste her salty tears, I could hear the soft sounds that she was making, I could feel her soft skin against my fingers and I could smell her scent. I never wanted this feeling to end. But then I remembered what she just showed me and I found enough strength to pull back. She immediately turned away from me and fell face first on the bed.
"Brittany." I sighed and sat on the bed again. She turned sideways to look at me.
"I don't ever wanna let you down, I don't ever wanna leave this town cause after all this city never sleeps at night." She started singing and I smiled at her being off the tune. I fell on the bed too and turned to my side to face her as she continued. "It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was. Now don't you understand that I'm never changing who I am?" She finished whispering and I shuffled closer to her and kissed her softly for a few seconds before pulling back to look at her puffy blue eyes.
"Do I have to answer with a song too?" I asked her and she chuckled at me before shuffling down the bed and hiding her head under my chin.
"Yes." She mumbled against my chest and I brought my arm up her bare waist to hug her.
"Ok, then." I said and cleared my throat. "Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss 'no way, it's all good', it didn't slow you down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look you're still around." I sang whispering. At first Brittany chuckled at my choice of song but then she relaxed against me. I couldn't see her but I could feel her uneven breathing. "Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than fucking perfect to me." I said and she immediately pulled back and kissed me on the lips.
I understood what she wanted to tell me. That she couldn't change her past and who she became because of it. But who could? So I reassured her once more that she was perfect to me and her past wouldn't change that. Besides, her past was what made her who she was. And I fell in love with who she was.
…
Two weeks later;
"What time is it?" I asked while bouncing my leg up and down nervously under the table.
"It's still two, Santanita." Maribel said. She wasn't looking at me, she was turned towards the stove where she was cooking something that smelled great. But I really didn't have an appetite at the moment. I was at my uncle's house, waiting for him and my father to come home from the first appointment with the therapist. My parents had settled in the house, all their stuff came from Lima, their house was sold and the money went to where Antonio owed it. So that chapter had closed.
I hadn't talk with Antonio about Brittany yet though. The only thing that we fought for was the therapist he had to see. He had insisted that he didn't need the therapist's help, that he could do it by himself. But neither my uncle nor I fell for that.
"So, what are you doing here?" Maribel asked me and I arched my eyebrows in surprise.
"What do you mean? I'm waiting for your husband to come home." I said bitterly and Maribel sighed, still having her back to me.
"Why?" She asked me and I frowned.
"What do you mean why?" I asked back and my mother turned to me.
"Your girlfriend is at the doctor because her daughter might need surgery and you're here doing what?" She asked me and crossed her arms in front of her chest. I did the same and leaned back on the chair that I was sitting.
"First of all, she's not my girlfriend yet." I said and Maribel rolled her eyes at me. I internally did the same, Brittany was practically my girlfriend, it just wasn't official because we didn't talk about it. I spent most of the time that I wasn't working with those two blondes, Brittany was being open with me, she even told me what happened when she was fourteen. She didn't get into any details, just the fact, but it was still important to me that she did that. Plus, we got so close to having sex for the first time over the last two weeks but we always stopped at the last minute. And I had no idea what we were waiting for anymore.
"You still didn't answer my question." Maribel interrupted my thoughts of a half-naked Brittany on top of me.
"How do you know about the doctor's appointment though?" I asked her and narrowed my eyes.
"Brittany told me." She shrugged and turned towards the stove again. I still had my eyes narrowed.
"Are you two like best friends now?" I asked. I definitely didn't have a problem with that, I was actually really happy that they got along so great. Brittany definitely needed that, although she wouldn't admit it. She was actually starting to be more cheerful, but I was sure that she hadn't dealt with what happened when she was fourteen yet.
"Santanita, why aren't you with them?" Maribel asked me again and I sighed.
"I wanted to know what's going on with papi." I mumbled and Maribel turned to me again.
"We still have a long road to see any change. This is one of the many appointments he'll go to, honey." My mother told me and I bit my bottom lip. "Mario and Matt are here too, you don't have to worry about him." She said.
"I don't even know if Brittany wants me there." I mumbled more to myself and Maribel huffed at me.
"Of course she does. She didn't say anything because of Antonio." She said. But before I could decide what to do, Antonio, Mario and Matt entered the kitchen. My uncle came immediately towards me and kissed the top of my head before sitting beside me. Matt sat on the head of the table and Antonio sat opposite me. "Are you hungry?" Maribel asked and everybody nodded so my mother started setting the table. I was looking at my dad expectantly and he sighed.
"We'll focus first on me admitting that I have a problem and that because I need counseling doesn't mean I'm weak. I'll also join a Gamblers Anonymous program." He mumbled looking down at the table and I nodded. It sounded like he had it rehearsed to say it like that and that he didn't mean it, but I wasn't expecting any miracles. Like Maribel said, this was one appointment of the many he would go to.
…
"So, what happened?" I asked Brittany. After we ate I left the table so I could call her and ask her what the doctor said. Actually Maribel made me feel guilty that I didn't go with them.
"The doctor said that we should wait for another month to make any decisions about surgery." Brittany said.
"A month?" I asked in surprise. "Isn't that too long?"
"There's no need to hurry into anything." She said. It sounded like she was shuffling around something. "So, what happened with your dad?" She asked me and I sighed.
"Nothing, it's still early to see any change." I mumbled and sat on the couch in the living room.
"Well, ok." Brittany said with heavy breathing making me arch an eyebrow. "Hey honey, I have to go now, ok?" She asked me still breathing heavily.
"Wait! What are you doing?" I asked her.
"You'll have to come over if you want to find out." She said quickly and I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, ok." I mumbled. "I'll come later." I told her and she said 'ok' before hanging up. I went back in the kitchen but as soon as I stepped inside everyone stopped talking, effectively making me frown. I noticed that Matt was gone but I figured he would come again later.
"What's going on?" I asked and Maribel sighed while Antonio huffed.
"Antonio is trying to convince us that Brittany is not good enough for you." Maribel said. I noticed that my uncle and my father were staring each other down. Those two were the only ones that knew Brittany had been a prostitute, Maribel was clueless. I turned my attention to my father and narrowed my eyes on him.
"You don't even know her so don't talk about her." I told him and went to sit opposite him again.
"You don't know who she really is." He said and I chuckled. But I definitely didn't find it funny. He obviously didn't know that I had been her attorney.
"I know everything." I told him pointedly. I was careful not to say anything about Brittany being a prostitute. I figured she would want to say that to my mother by herself. My father swallowed thickly.
"Then you know that she's not good enough." He mumbled and I frowned.
"You don't even know why she did what she did." I told him and he frowned back at me.
"I don't care why she did it, Santana." He snapped at me. "I would never let you do that, where was her father to control her?" He asked me and I flared my nostrils.
"Stop talking!" I snapped back. "You don't know anything so why don't you shut up?" I asked and stood up to leave. He stood too and grabbed my arm.
"Do not talk to me like that, Santana." He said angrily and I shrugged my arm free from his grasp.
"All she did was to forgive you and tried to make me forgive you too. And what did you do? You just sit there and judge her without knowing." I said and he stared at me like he didn't believe what I told him.
"What's going on?" Maribel finally asked. But I didn't turn to look at her because I didn't know what to say to her.
"Santana." Antonio sighed and went to touch me again but I took a step back from him.
"You know what? You should start making things right." I said and turned to leave the kitchen and the house.
I couldn't believe that he apologized to Brittany but didn't actually mean it. And Brittany believed him. But I decided to not tell her that, she really didn't need my father being mean on top of her other problems. It was simple in my mind, if he didn't start making things right I would make them for him. I would tell Maribel about it by myself. But then I thought better about it and decided to not make any decisions while being angry, it would only cause more problems. And there were only two people in the world that would calm me down. So I made my way to Brittany's apartment to see my two favorite blondes.
A.N.: Tell me your thoughts. What do you think is Brittany's tattoo on her lower back?