Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any way. It belongs to Kishimoto!
Hello to everyone!
Thanks to all of you who follow this story still. I hope you're enjoying it and don't worry, I'll keep it up to finish it like I promised and like I promised to update it sooner too. The only problem is that for the moment I don't have Internet like before so it takes longer to do it. This chapter seems to be calmer than other ones, I think ^^, but I hope you like it. After it a lot of things are going to happen, we're heading to the end, of course.
Let's go to the reviews then!
ciel kazu: Thank you for loving my story ^^! I hope for Sasuke to talk someday (meanie me, I'm just joking), but yeah, he'll regain his beautiful voice at least for certain moments so don't worry. Thanks a lot ^^!
Massu Chan: Don't worry about your computer, I don't mind to read your review direct from my mail till you can know what's happening ^^. Thank you for reviewing still! Thank you for saying that the last chapter was amazing and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope to keep it up good ^^ and thanks for saying that about my portrayed Sakura. It was very entertaining to write that part of the wedding with Sasuke acting like that! I'm glad I made you chuckle! Thanks for you opinion on this story, it means a lot to me ^^! I tried very hard to maintain the rhythm. Thanks a lot for your words ^^ and I hope to not disappoint you. There will be more sasusaku moments now that they're married ^^ and the things coming since this chapter! Sasuke's hormones kicked in very well as you can see XD! Thanks a lot!
xx-tenshi-xx: I'm so sorry for your ambivalence between hate and love! This story is a sasusaku one even if doesn't appear like one… sorry ^^! Well Sasuke had acted pretty badly indeed and had hurt Sakura a lot. There hadn't been really romance but I promise you that it is a sasusaku! Ho, ho, I really enjoy your reviews and I can't wait to see your final opinion when the story is finished. I wonder if you'll forgive Sasuke and if he can convince you about Miyu and Sakura ^^ in some point depending of the end. I can't wait to see what you think about the new chapter and I have the feeling that you'll skin me alive somehow XD! And you're very right: he had done a lot of things screwing up everything and even when he seems to care about her and don't want to hurt her more doesn't say that he loves her. It shows that Sasuke isn't as coldhearted as everyone thought he was at least one time in the story. Well, Sakura thought herself as a masochistic in a part of the chapter I think, wondering if she was only that. I wonder what you are going to think and review in the remaining chapters ^^! But yeah, Sakura had really crossed her own limits and the worse is that she realizes it in this new chapter. Very late indeed. Sasuke had done a lot of things that hadn't been explained through his point of view till now, if he can explain them. Let's see if at the end Sasuke can convince you or not ^^ of his real feelings and thoughts even if we don't know what to expect! Thanks a lot for your review as always!
sasusaku779: Don't worry for not reviewing before ^^! I'm glad you did it and that you're still following the story. Thank you for calling it a superb chapter! I was a little uneasy because of the wedding and I'm glad you liked it. I hope to give you more oodles of sasusaku soon. Believe me that now I had established a certain limit to the length, I couldn't let myself get carried away! I want to write the end! But there are still some things to write down before it. I'm glad you reread it when I hadn't updated it! Thanks for that! Even when it makes me happy when all of you read it the first time, it's special when you find a story you don't mind reading again (it had happened to me ^^). I'll try to update soon, I promise! Thanks a lot!
Harry Potter Is my Pet llama: Thank you for your review and opinion! I hope to see you around ^^ and to keep you interested! Thanks a lot!
AVAuchiha: Thanks for saying the chapters were good! I'm glad you liked them ^^. I really was uneasy about the wedding but I'm glad it turned out good. Hmmm… you're right about Sasuke and Sakura this time and I see that all of you are seeing it. I'll update the sooner I can, I promise! And yeah, Sakura's life now is bittersweet as she said it a lot of times. It was very funny to write the guy of the council! I liked writing Gaara too ^^. I hope you like this new chapter. Thanks a lot!
C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: I have to say it was very interesting to read your dream about the story. In fact it's not anything like how the story is going to develop. Still your dream is very interesting and maybe I can use it in some way to other stuff ^^. Your dream was sad as one of the possible endings (among others out there). The only similar thing is that time is going to go forwards in some occasions, but just that ^^. Thanks to tell it to me and I'm glad that some of you have your own ideas for the story! Thanks a lot!
sonia: I'm glad you liked the chapter ^^. I'm sorry I don't update as soon as I want but at least I make up for the long wait XD. About the length, well I have to say that the remaining chapters are going to be long like the last few chapters and I'm glad you don't mind! He, he, I try to leave it interesting. I think you're part of the few that can say they agreed with Sasuke's decision and yeah, like someone in the chapter said; living together can do a lot. Let's hope it helps them somehow ^^! Well, the story is supposed to end at the chapter 27 and then it comes a long epilogue. That's the plan anyway ^^ but let's wait because sometimes the stories had their own mind! But that's the plan. About Sasuke's healing is more positive to happen than not till now ^^. Your question of the kids is answered in this chapter XD! I'll try to update quicker, I promise! Thanks to you for taking time to read it and review it ^^, thanks a lot for saying that about the chapter too. Thanks! I'm sorry for exciting you in vain with my note ^^! I promise to not keep you all in the dark so long and to finish this story till the end ^^. Thanks a lot to you from the bottom of my heart!
Reira Strife: Hello to you! Thank you for taking time to review my story ^^ and I'm glad you like it. Thanks for your words about it ^^! Thanks a lot! Your words had really struck me because I love reading books (novels) and I always tried to do it in that way XD. I really appreciate your opinion on the story and I hope I can keep it interesting till the end and to see you around! I'll try hard to keep up the good work and I hope that was still left and coming don't disappoint you ^^. Don't worry about your spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language either XD! What language is your first? Best wishes to you too and thanks a lot! I'm glad you consider my story like that ^^, thank you! For taking time to read it and I hope you're still enjoying it ^^ and to do it still interesting enough for you. I hope that the part that it's left to be written will be still likeable and well thought ^^, I'm sorry for killing you with the wait, I understand it because it had happened to me with other stories, I really hope and promise to update sooner, since August I had had changes in my life like losing my job and so the internet because I don't have it at home and I like to read the story a few times to know if it's going to stay the way it was written at first ^^ but I'll try to keep all of you updated soon. Thank you for your words and for saying those last lines, you're the first person who had told me that ^^ and perhaps one day I'll write something else that it's totally mine. Best wishes to you ^^.
quackness-of-the-uber-penguins: Welcome ^^ and thank you for reviewing my story. I'm glad you like it really even if it drives you nuts! I hope you're still working in your own story. I understand you, sometimes the muse of inspiration is gone and it is difficult to go on but I'm happy that at least my fic had helped you to continue with your own ^^ and thank you for your kind words! Thanks!
Babykat570: Thank you for your patience!
thatsohot: You're right, I think somewhere in my profile it said that I was from Mexico ^^. Thank you for saying that about my fanfic ^^, thanks a lot! And yeah, I speak Spanish ^^. I have thought in translating this one to Spanish and till now I don't have another new idea to write a new story in Spanish about Sasuke and Sakura. I read more fanfiction of Naruto in English because there's a lot much more than in my own language and besides it had helped me a lot to improve in my English's abilities, learning new words or phrases, I'm not a very good speaker in fact, I don't speak it as good as I read, write or even hear it. In particular I love languages. This story was thought in English since the beginning and it had helped me too to not put more things in there that it could have made it longer or more complicated because I'm still limited in it despite the fact that I'm writing it the best I can. Writing in English had focused me even more as well. I'm sure that if I had written this story in Spanish it would have been larger and more complex because I had already written some stuff in Spanish and believe I know of what I'm talking ^^. Thank you for taking time to read it! Don't worry, one day you'll know what's going on with Sasuke. Thanks for loving it!
The Catch: Thank you for reading and reviewing it ^^!
MasterCleanse: Yeah, Sasuke had behaved terribly ^^!
Itachiisaweasel: I'll try to update quicker, I swear! I'm glad you're excited about what's going to happen now, I only hope that you'll like it ^^! Thank you for your patience and support!
jay-alexis: I'm glad I still got you! Thank you for waiting! And don't worry, I'll take my time ^^ and I'll try to update sooner and quicker! Thank you!
akasuna no bharath: Thank you for your review ^^ and I want to clarify something about the story in particular, this story is supposedly to happen after whatever end the manga had, so Danzo is dead and there's a new council so that's why I've never used his character. The seal was supposed to contain Sasuke because the new Council even when they aren't the same don't like and don't trust in Sasuke after all so they want to control him. Sasuke later proves to them that they don't have it easy anyway ^^. Sasuke is different now and hadn't returned to his former glory because that's all behind in this story and he wandered around the world still trying to deal with his issues. I thank you for remembering me the thing about the seal ^^ and I hope this answer can make you understand now what's happening in the story so far. I'm sorry for messing up pronouns and I'm trying to check each chapter before updating but sometimes I guess I miss some mistakes ^^. Don't worry, I didn't get offended and I appreciate your sincere opinion and review, thank you!
hikari98:I'm sorry for taking so long to update! And thank you for staying out there waiting ^^. Thank you for your sincere and kind words ^^ and don't worry, I won't discontinue, it will be finished and I'm not going to take so long to update, I promise ^^. Thanks for your review and I hope you're still enjoying it ^^, thank you!
Chapter 22
Moving
Sakura POV
Knowing we were watched by the Council we took their generous and kind gift in the sign of our honeymoon and we were in a couple of hours away from Konoha in a special transport sent by that annoying man. Kakashi-sensei promised to take care of the moving of Sasuke-kun's things to my little department and we remained silent and calm all the way to the small and special place the Council had arranged for us. We were holding hands just to not forget that we were watched when we were leaving Konoha behind and we kept it that way till we reached the place outside the village from a couple of hours in the middle of the forest. The place was formed by a dozen of beautiful and comfortable wooden cabins and it was almost deserted and highly romantic and magical to my bad luck. The only different cabin was another large one where the people who owned the place and run it lived and the couples that were staying there went to register, be guided to their cabin and took the meals and ask about the surroundings. It was very private and enchanting and I couldn't help to feel sadder knowing that the Council had won me in this. All the place was beautiful and threw to my face my fake marriage that was a business and arrangement. Thank God it seemed that there weren't a lot of hosts in the moment. I smiled and acted normally being beside Sasuke-kun as the owner welcomed us and took us to our cabin that was the one more elegant and pretty and of course, far away and soon we were all by themselves in that precious temporal romantic home. It was easy to forget about everything in here when you were a couple madly in love. But for me it was a crude reminder of the reality and a way to break my calm and resigned spirit and I was sure that for Sasuke-kun was a prison where he had to stay with someone he didn't love as the general theme demanded. Anyway I tried to do my best and take it in the best way and relax myself. These were vacations somehow. We were very tired and I was worried for Sasuke-kun's state after the wedding and we decided to sleep all the afternoon to recover energy after having breakfast. Sasuke-kun hadn't minded in sleeping with me in the same bed, after all I guessed it was a normal thing now that we were married even if it wasn't completely real and after I checked him up and gave him his meds he immediately fell asleep. It took me longer due to everything that had happened and I rested beside him in silence and finally realizing what had happened. When the wedding was taking place I was just like living in a different dimension and it was now that everything sank finally in my mind. I had married Sasuke Uchiha, I was his wife and I was going to live with him. I had protected him and I had saved him and I knew finally that everything had been true and real, the wedding and this honeymoon. My green tired eyes watered finally and I held back my sobbing because I didn't want him to see me crying. It wasn't that I regretted it and it wasn't that I didn't treasure just being there with him even in his distance and silence, it was that I knew really in what conditions we were going to live and we were going to act like partners in crime and not even like friends, something that could have made me happier even a little. It was that bittersweet feeling I couldn't get rid off ever and I was sad and tearful because I didn't have my complete dream just as mother had told me before.
I tried to clear my head and I closed my eyes and I tried to sleep at least for a while. I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and soon the tiredness took over me. Hours later when I woke up I noticed that it was nighttime already. I laid there watching hypnotized and enchanted at Sasuke-kun's sleeping silhouette and I smiled in spite of my real state of heart. I decided to get up and I took a shower to clear my confused head. When I was dressed and I was brushing my hair I noticed the bottle of fine sake on the center of the wooden round table and the pair of crystal pretty glasses. I smiled breathing deeply and I opened it and I decided to have a drink. I hadn't wanted to drink a lot in the wedding (apart that embarrassing moment) because I was afraid that I could have make a mistake but right now I didn't see anything wrong in taking a single drink. It tasted better than I had guessed and I walked around the cabin watching it with more interest than the first time we had entered. Every single damn detail was focused in romanticism and it mocked me straight to the face. I smirked sadly watching through the windows at the beautiful forest outside surrounding us and I didn't see that in fact I went on drinking more and more unconsciously. I was quiet and careful because I didn't want to wake him up and I sat down in front of one window looking at the nocturnal sky feeling relaxed and lightheaded. Everything seemed so different being a little drunk. I remembered all the wedding and all that Sasuke-kun and I had shared to make it appear real and I couldn't help to start sobbing with melancholy. Stupid girl, you shouldn't cry. You brought this to yourself, you started it. Now you cannot take it back and even feeling like crap in reality you don't want to take it back, don't you? I sighed sadly and deeply drying my useless and lame tears and I looked at the half empty bottle of sake in my hands. Sasuke-kun cannot drink. I cannot even share it with him. I sighed once more lost in thought and smiling to myself remembering my wedding with a nicer point of view.
Definitely everything seemed different when you're a little drunk.
The medic nin didn't know how it had happened. One moment she was totally fine drinking and reminiscing about the memories of hours and hours ago and then she was feeling sick and inside the bathroom drunk, melancholic and throwing up even worse than when she was pregnant of Miyu. It was near the midnight and she was there sitting on the floor with her head over the toilet spacing out and calm knowing she had brought it to herself just for wanting to feel less sad and choosing to drown her suffering in the dangerous waters of sake. Maybe her father was right and she was just an immature and stupid child. She felt someone approaching her and she knew who it was. He was the only other occupant of that pretty cabin anyway. Sasuke stood watching her for a moment always silent and observant and then he just knelt down beside her and stroked her hair brushing it softly. Sakura was still very affected by the side effects of the sake even when she had performed the jutsu to feel better like she had done in the wedding. For a moment she wondered if she wasn't dreaming him there accompanying her by will without judging or scolding her for her stupid behavior. She turned to face him and stared at him in silence contemplative and longing. Was he real? And if he was, why he was real? She smiled softly and glad for seeing him there, her prince who didn't look really at her as his fingers remained brushing her hair away from her face. His fingertips burned her skull and send chills through her body as usual. They remained like that for a long moment and she wondered if he was just taking care of her out of courtesy and marital obligation.
"You know that I love you, right? I love you deeply, hopelessly and intensely." The pink haired girl said casually with normal voice and calm written all over her face. She wasn't reclaiming anything to him; she was just saying the truth. He could handle the truth, right? Sasuke remained still and attentive at her and his face was unreadable as always but he wasn't angered or cold. "It hurts me that you never showed a little spark of affection for me. Not even a tinge of the affection of love. But I understand it. I know you don't feel that way about me and I know perfectly that I cannot change your heart. I know it and I accept it so don't feel bad about it or for me. I'm just a little weird due to that stupid sake. I'll be fine. Women are so strange, don't you think?"
She smiled once more and then she kept quiet for a long moment. After she felt better and in all her senses she thanked him naturally for his care and company and she got up from the floor, brushed her teeth and washed her face. Sasuke watched her in the same way for a second before going to the door. Sakura stopped him while she looked at herself on the mirror with interest and thoughtful jade eyes.
"Can I ask you something?"
The medic nin looked at him by the mirror turning to face her and he nodded serious as always but serene. Sakura blushed a little and cleared her throat before talking and lowered her gaze not wanting to meet his inquisitive eyes.
"Do you feel at least attracted to me? Physically? Am I pretty enough for you to feel attraction towards me? I had always wondered you know, because we have a beautiful and smart little girl."
She grinned just talking about Miyu and she thought that Sasuke-kun was going to ignore her. She was acting pretty weird and probably he blamed it on the sake. She brushed a little her hair before sighing deeply but suddenly she noticed that she had him behind her in a flash. She hadn't seen him moving and she hadn't sensed him. The brush fell from her fingers due to the surprise and he suddenly took her in his arms spinning her around to face him. Soon they were pretty close and looking at the other straight to the eyes in total stillness and silence till he unexpectedly kissed her fiercely and passionately holding her tightly against his body. Sakura was quite surprised and shocked at first but couldn't escape from the intensity and eagerness she felt for it. She had wanted so much to have him again like this, just for her, just the two of them, even if it was just because he was indeed physically attracted to her and didn't love her. In question of minutes they were desperately kissing and touching and just their harsh and quickened breathing sounded in the quietness of their romantic cabin. Still holding each other in a melting embrace Sasuke started to move to return to the other room and Sakura followed him obedient and not wanting to let him go. Her mind was totally submitted to it and she erased the logic and reasons to wonder about this and doubt it and even the idea of stopping it was painful to imagine. She just let her go her worries, fears and hesitation and let her heart to control her yearning body when Sasuke's own was demanding his possession over it. They reached the bed where they had slept just hours ago peacefully and unaware that so much desire and passion was lying there in secret and silence and they barely took time to breathe and stop their endless caressing and kissing covering every inch they already knew of the other's body so well. The pink haired flustered and hypnotized young woman just stopped to let her hands to undress him with skillful velocity and mastery while he waited her to finish and kept kissing her on the neck with fervent and slow caresses. She smiled satisfied and proud of herself when he was totally naked in front of her and felt a little embarrassed and soon was blushing noticing that this was the first time when they were intimately together that she had done it first. She remained still and silent with her hands running through his chest and arms feeling very ashamed and not wanting to meet his black gaze. Sasuke lifted her face by her chin gently surprising her before giving her time to prepare for his renewed, fierce and passionate kissing. Her lips were swollen and warm and desiring and obeying his silent orders and soon she forgot her shyness and let her hands to wonder all over his perfect body with desperation and surrendering. When their eyes met there was a silent connection that she couldn't explain. He was in his common serious and unreadable expression but his onyx orbs were filled with strange emotion as she stared contemplating them enchanted and totally in love. Just love. No hiding, no pretending, no lying. No trying to conceal the hurricane of feelings and emotions that were ravaging her deeply and intensely from her inside. He could know the truth right now.
It didn't take Sasuke long to undress her just as skillful and quickly as she had done it with him and she only regretted, in that little part of her brain that was the only one thinking right now and not feeling and calling him master, that she wasn't wearing the underwear she had worn in the wedding, the one Temari had given to her. Right now she was just using her common white and simple underwear but at the end it didn't matter, she guessed. Sasuke got rid off it in the blink of an eye. The natural blush colored her face knowing of her nudity in front of him like always but she got soon over it when Sasuke still embracing her possessively and strongly laid her on the soft and comfortable mattress with him on top of her and they restarted their kissing and touching in the middle of their harsh breathing and her increasing moaning. Sakura's eyes soon were blurred and she felt that her heart was exploding and soon it was going to get out from her shivering chest when he was covering all her trembling body with his fervent kisses and everlasting caresses stirring all kind of sensations never forgotten in her. Her hands fisted on the sheets as her pulse raced and the blood run hot and wild inside her veins. That little part of her brain was trying to talk to her logically asking her: what are you doing? But she didn't listen to, she couldn't when she was in the arms of the man she loved with all her soul in spite of the past and the things that still were in the middle of the both and less when they were so intertwined and rolling on the mattress in an equal fight for dominance. Never in those past intimate moments they had shared there had been so much desperation, fierceness and passion. She recalled those times of their lovemaking slower, softer and gentler, still intense and profound, but not like this time. She had never acted like she was doing it right now, like if the world was going to end tomorrow and she feared to not be close to hold him with such possession fearing he could disappear suddenly. She couldn't analyze it right now and she didn't want to but she had noticed it while she surrendered finally to his demand and control panting, moaning and crying out his name for the first time without a suffix. That little part of her brain still working properly was soon shut down by her throbbing heart and wavering soul in total bliss and disconnection to the world when he was finally taking her as he had done it so many months ago.
How many times they played the same game without exchanging a word between them? How many times they rested side by side looking at the ceiling in quietness and she laid her head on his shoulder holding softly his hand in hers and he didn't reject that simple gesture? How they can be so peaceful then and later return to the same desperate and fierce passion to deliver once more their being to the other so easily? The emerald eyed medic nin could barely know. Her head was still swaying due to the little effects of the sake and Sasuke's answer to her question and it was just like in the wedding: a daydreaming, something she couldn't ever dream in having once more in her life. Neither Sasuke nor she had ever talked about this, about the possibility of it happening once more between the both. Surely neither of the both thought it possible anyway and it had happened unexpectedly. She wondered how Sasuke was going to take it and see it. They were married, right? They were husband and wife. It was normal to have sex then, right? But their marriage wasn't normal and they hadn't discussed the issue like they should have done it days ago. And the worst was that she once more had confessed her stupid feelings to him and she had promised herself to not do it ever again and not bother him with it. They barely slept the rest of the night and the morning of the next day and just when the sunrise came she was tired enough to fall asleep. He was already sleeping peacefully since a moment ago. Sakura stared at him for a long moment in silence and loving observance knowing they had done something that it shouldn't have happened with tears dwelling in her jade eyes. This was going to complicate things between the both and it had never been her sincere intention.
"Sleep tight, Sasuke."
She kissed softly his cheek and turned around giving her back to him and silently letting the tears fell down her eyes calmly. Before the sweet forget of the dream took her away she couldn't help to realize that she had almost had the wedding night she had always wanted and that thought made her smile weakly in spite of the sadness creeping all over her being. It had been almost perfect and she couldn't regret it ever. Not once although it hurt her too.
Sakura POV
"I want to talk with you, Sasuke."
I said not beating around the bushes and sincerely the next afternoon as we were returning from having lunch at the main cabin. I was sat down in one of the steps of the entrance of our cabin and Sasuke was standing by my side a few inches away and resting his back against one of the wooden pillars. I had behaved normally since our awakening some hours ago and I had blushed horribly noticing how we were sprawled naked and intertwined without a sheet covering us. Immediately I had covered myself ashamed and affected for what had happened between us even when I was to blame too and acting as always I was I went to the bathroom and took a shower easing myself and thinking in everything. Later Sasuke had taken one too and he had acted his old self too, distant, unreachable and serious but at least not cold or mean till now and we had decided to eat something. Like I had predicted there was just silence and distance between us when we were totally alone and that respect and compliance. Nothing more. We were more at ease than in our previous relationship but that didn't get us emotionally closer. Just more weirdly comfortable around the other and I had to force myself to return to my control and normalcy as I had lived the wedding and the previous days of it. In the wedding I had been completely reminded of the nature of our marriage but here everything had changed and had crumbled around me stupidly and it had happened. We had had sex again after a long time and I had made love to him all night long in a way that it colored red my face and ashamed me. I had realized how the things had changed between us so much and how everything was more complicated than I had expected that unconsciously I had started calling him just Sasuke and he didn't mind. In fact I thought I saw his lips curling up a little in a defiant smirk but probably I imagined it. Well, he was my husband now after all and I couldn't keep calling him Sasuke-kun forever. That suffix just made me remember my childhood dreams. But it wasn't too late, I told myself, to put everything in clear and avoid those situations I had mentioned but I had never really talked about with him.
"Listen, I want to apologize for saying those things. I told you before that I knew the truth and I accepted it and that I wasn't going to bother you with it." I said simply honest watching him calmly. He was staring at me by the corner of his black orbs serene. "I lost my mind with that damn sake." Well, it's true in a little part. "So I'm sorry for it. I don't want to complicate our agreement and I promise you that it won't happen again. Don't worry, it cannot last forever." Yeah, of course, try to believe what you're saying, you moron. "Anyway, I think we need to… discuss the situation that happened to avoid future problems."
Sasuke nodded serious and then sat down beside me but a few inches away from me. That's perfect. Don't come any closer, please, because I would melt once more. I don't want to have you again, I don't want to be yours again, I don't want to belong to you once more, I don't want to be owned by you, I don't want to own you in spite of your ignorance of it… it's not like I don't want it, it's just that I don't want to be more attached to you. It hurts.
"We have recognized that we… feel attracted to the other, at least physically, I guess." I watched him waiting for a reaction but he didn't change his common expression. "But when we agreed in this marriage I guess we didn't discuss it. It's not right to be involved again in this way just for that… I cannot be involved in it again… Don't take me wrong, I don't regret in any way what happened yesterday. Don't ever think that."
I knew I was being stupid saying that when I had already done what I had done and I had been the first one to undress him. But to be truly honest I had never thought that it was going to be so hard to made love to him again knowing the truth about his feelings. I had thought that I was going to be strong enough if it ever happened again but I had been wrong all along. If it happened, I thought, I was strong enough to enjoy it without strings attached. I had done wrong not asking him if he expected that from me, to do my job as his wife demanded correctly and normally. I had underestimated the issue and now I was paying for it.
"Are you expecting for it again? You know, like a normal couple does it, I guess…"
Unsurprisingly he shook his head and I didn't know if I had to feel better or worse for his answer. Did I have to feel relieved to not be reminded again of what I don't own, his heart, or did I have to feel sad because he didn't expect to have sex again with me? Either way it didn't matter. It was better this way. But I had to discuss another matter and it was related to the same.
"I just want to be involved if… if you want to have more children." I said slightly blushing and smiling shyly. He looked at me a little surprised and thoughtful. "You know, I won't mind if time later I have more children. I don't want Miyu to be an only child and I guess that you want more children too." He nodded after a brief pause and it touched me the sadness that covered his face for a moment. "So… we agree in that. When we're ready to have another baby, we'll discuss it and we'll… do it. I'll gladly have another baby of you."
I smiled widely and sincerely and he just nodded once agreeing with me. I didn't need to say anymore and somehow I was glad that we had talked about it now. Last night had been unforgettable and I wasn't going to regret it ever and I still shivered when I remembered the feel of his skin and his kisses and touching and the blissful moment when we were one. But it was better this way and I knew it even if it was bittersweet as everything related to him was now to me.
The rest of the week of our honeymoon was quiet and calm. We spent the days walking around the beautiful forest and doing researching and I talked with the other people present in the place. I was sure everyone thought that we were a happy couple, I was acting as I had decided and Sasuke even in his common self, distant, serious and unreadable was respectful and educated and just in few occasions he turned cold or indifferent towards me or others. His health was a lot better but I knew he needed observance and care for lifetime and I was his personal nurse besides being his wife. We didn't discuss till now over anything and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. I got used to be in silence with him and give him his space and time and in spite of my bittersweet happiness and eternal sorrow the days we spent there were enjoyable in their own way. Sometimes we only lay on bed reading some things. It was a weird relationship what we had and I knew it perfectly. We weren't exactly friends and we weren't exactly lovers. We were more like teammates and I was resigned to it. Sharing the bed to sleep was something I got used to after being ashamed of it and soon it became normal between us. He never again tried to seduce me and I didn't try it either. I focused very hard to avoid the feelings he stirred within me and reminded me of our times together when for circumstances we were very close or we touched. I didn't know how things were going to be when we returned to Konoha but somehow I felt that they were going to hurt me more than the suffering I had gained here in my honeymoon. I knew he wasn't exactly guilty for it and I couldn't blame it on him totally and that's why I endured it and tried to find solace and peace of mind on my behalf. I had known things were going to be like this and I had accepted it when I had said I do that unforgettable and precious day when I had become Mrs. Uchiha.
I had said I do and I was going to say it every day of my life.
Sakura POV
When we returned to Konoha we decided to live still in my small department. Sasuke didn't show interest in going back to his old house; neither his room nor the old territory of the Uchiha Clan and it worried and pained me the silent and hidden suffering in the deep of his black eyes whenever it was mentioned. Those territories outside the village belonged solely to Miyu and him and no one in Konoha could lay a finger on them. I didn't mind either staying at least for a while in my department and it didn't surprise me that Kakashi-sensei had brought all Sasuke's stuff from his room to my own room in it. The other room belonged to Miyu. At least I heard from Tsunade-sama that the Council had stopped their ways to put their hands on Sasuke and they had accepted it and were quite peaceful about it. I wondered if they had really given up. Like I expected all my friends were worried for me after spending a week all by myself with Sasuke and it wasn't because they feared he could hurt me in any way. They just were concerned knowing that it was going to be difficult for me. I calmed them immediately and I didn't say a word about our passionate first night there, not even to my mother. I didn't see the point in doing it. Soon I restarted my life as medic nin in the hospital and under our Hokage's orders just like Sasuke returned to be the same shinobi he was before his health was affected by the Council and their lies. Miyu was in eternal innocent happiness now that Sasuke was living with us and her happiness was contagious to me although our life as a married couple wasn't exactly like that. When we were alone we were like strangers being courteous with the other to have an easy and calm life. I noticed how Sasuke tried secretly to avoid staying with me more than the necessary and it really hurt me even when I understood why he did it and I knew I had asked for it. I thought it was going to be easier to spend our time together but I supposed I had been wrong all along in that too. Being together was more hurtful and hard and the distance between us being so close was more painful than simply being away.
Anyway we gladly had peace after days and nights of worrying due to the Council's scheme and I was grateful for that. With our return and new marriage came a lot of work than ever. In few days Sasuke and I didn't see the other often and we barely crossed paths even in the quietness of our little home. Thank God I counted with mom to lend me a hand with Miyu and our home but still it was pretty sad especially for our little girl to be so busy following orders of missions and paperwork that most of the time came directly from the Council's orders than the honey eyed Hokage. My friends were quite busy too and I hadn't seen them a lot to really have a nice talk. It was like if suddenly we had been separated by casualty. I hadn't really put attention to it till one day when I was in the hospital with Ino. We both were talking about some medical jutsu when my former sensei appeared saying hi as always.
"Hey Sakura, Ino."
"Kakashi-sensei!"
"Hello Kakashi-sensei. I thought you were out in a mission too."
I said calmly and with a true smile plastered on my face. Ino smiled too as Kakashi-sensei approached us in a way that suggested he didn't want to be noticed or heard. That confused us and we exchanged a concerned glance before I asked him what was wrong.
"How are Sasuke and you doing?"
He asked as a response and I frowned still confused, worried and with a bad feeling hovering inside my chest. He was talking in low voice close to us. Ino stared at him analyzing his actions.
"We're fine. Sasuke had been busy like everyone. Everything is fine, calm and fine." It had been a surprise and a little shock to all my friends to hear me calling him just by his name and without the suffix. But they had gotten used to quickly understanding that it was normal now that I was his wife and not that stupid fangirl madly in love with him. "It's true that we hadn't spent a lot of time together since we came back but the things are good for us. Why do you ask?"
Well, it wasn't entirely a lie. Things were calm and fine in the distant life we both shared and again I felt my heart crushed by the bittersweet truth. Anyway I shook away that feeling because I was more worried by Kakashi-sensei's sudden question.
"Don't you think that it is a little weird that you are as busy with work as everyone else? But nobody is as busy as Sasuke right now. We all, the persons close to you are in fact very busy. We hadn't really had time to spend with you in your first weeks as newlyweds. What a strange casualty, right?"
The way he said it concerned me and Ino. I watched him serious and thoughtful wondering about what I had already noticed but I hadn't taken it as important to ponder deeply about it. Lately I was a little distracted due to my new life as Mrs. Uchiha and all the wrongs I hadn't considered being it. I tried to focus in work to free my heart from my inner emotional state.
"You don't think it is a casualty."
Ino stated seriously as me and Kakashi-sensei nodded meditative. I furrowed my brow feeling afflicted by the truth hiding behind his supposition.
"Tsunade-sama doesn't either." Listening to the name of our wise Hokage I knew that definitely something was very strange in all this and I worried even more. "I had talked with her about it and we think the Council had still their doubts about the reality of your marriage with Sasuke."
"What?"
I asked surprised, shocked and concerned with disbelief. Ino's frown shadowed her pretty features. Kakashi-sensei nodded and sighed thoughtfully.
"We fear that this sudden state of being busy and separate, not only with you and Sasuke, but with all the ones who are your friends and support you it's some form of them to still bother you and Sasuke. We're only guessing of course, but for us it is pretty weird that suddenly the Council trusts so much in Sasuke to give him a lot of missions that are very important and dangerous. Maybe missions for which he isn't still quite prepared. We're worried if it is true. We don't know if they really know that your marriage it was a lie to protect him and save him from their grip and we don't know what are they pretending with this new strategy."
"Why Sasuke follows their game? He could say no to some missions!"
"Because he's Sasuke after all." I answered to Ino's preoccupied words with a sad and proud little smile. I sighed deeply. Yeah, that's my proud husband. "He won't ever let them know he cannot perform missions they directly ask of him."
"Sakura is right, like I expected being his wife." Kakashi-sensei said making me blush and felt inwardly melancholic. "But Tsunade-sama is worried about one thing and we don't know if it is the reason behind their new plan." Kakashi-sensei paused briefly looking at me calmly and concerned. I waited for him to go on. "She's worried that this load of work could sicken Sasuke in some way. It's true that he's doing great till now but he's not in total health and we all know it. The Hokage worries that if he keeps working so much he could get sick once more and then the new treatment Shizune and Tsunade-sama are providing to him would be useless."
My heart pained incredibly at the supposition Tsunade-sama had. It was logical and natural to have it. Sasuke wasn't completely healthy and he was trying so hard. I wondered if it wasn't only his pride to stand against the Council the only thing that kept him doing his job. What if he did it too because he didn't want to stay with me more than the necessary? My face shadowed and grimaced fearing for him and trying to remember if I had noticed something he could have been hiding about his condition. Till now he was fine and the only thing I had noticed was his paleness. Was that a sign of common tiredness or it was a sign of something worse? The anguish and worry filled me completely and made my heart to leap in suffering. I had thought like my friends that the Council at least had given up for a while but it seemed they weren't ready to do it. What they were really planning? Why they had accepted my marriage so easily? Why they had paid and given us that honeymoon? What they really wanted? Sasuke, of course. They had always wanted him. But why? He wasn't a traitor or an enemy anymore! He didn't have intentions of going against them or Konoha. I clutched my hands thoughtful and dismayed.
"Don't worry, Sakura. We'll have an eye on Sasuke. You just need to have an eye on him in home secretly. You know him, probably if he knows it he'll be very upset for our watching over him even if it is for his own sake."
Kakashi-sensei rested a hand on my shoulder reassuringly and Ino smiled to me kindly. I saw the real concern in their eyes for us and I nodded grateful.
"Kakashi-sensei is right. Everything is going to be fine, Sakura. Don't let them win over you right now."
She was right. I couldn't be afflicted so much by their antics. They couldn't know how worried I was for Sasuke in fact. I needed to be normal and strong and smart if I wanted to be ahead of their malicious way of thinking towards Sasuke. I nodded trying to calm myself and breathing deeply focusing immediately.
"We thought it was best to tell you our suppositions and worries even if I worried you more." Kakashi-sensei said guilty and sheepishly and I nodded smiling. "Be prepared. The fact that all of us, your friends, are playing their game too doesn't mean that we're not with you even being a little away."
"I know. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. I'll be on watch."
"Good."
Then he said goodbye to us and went to prepare for another mission he had to do. Ino wrapped an arm around my shoulders with a warm smile. She wasn't looking concerned anymore and I knew she was trying to return to normalcy just as I wanted and I was trying to do.
"When does Sasuke return?"
"He'll come home tonight."
"That's perfect! Sai will be here by sunset. What if tomorrow we go to your house and we have dinner together? It will be the first time we spend time together, Sakura. You don't need to cook if you don't want to or can't due to work. I'll bring the dinner. And I'll see if some of the others are free to come too."
In fact the idea wasn't bad. I couldn't deny that it excited me even when I had a husband who didn't like a lot that kind of stuff. I nodded smiling sincerely glad for Ino's idea and we both returned to our duties. Soon I was so wrapped in my work and busy that I couldn't focus in the chat we had had with Kakashi-sensei but I couldn't forget that hunch breathing inside my chest talking me about my deep and intense worry for Sasuke. The only thing that calmed me a little was to know that we had a lot of support in the people who cared about us surrounding our life like Kakashi-sensei and Tsunade-sama. That was really a relief and a gift. Anyway that hunch increased hours later when I was waiting Sasuke to come home like I had said to Ino earlier. It was almost midnight and Miyu was sleeping since hours ago peacefully and ignorant about the worries of our little family and world. I decided to drink some tea as I waited for Sasuke to come and I was sitting at the table in silence and thoughtfulness. I was tired, that was true, lately I was working a lot like Tsunade-sama, Shizune and Ino after the Council had decided to strengthen up the medical issues in Konoha and it was a little weird they were now so interested in the medicine as our wise Hokage had been always. The words of Kakashi-sensei rounded my head worriedly and I knew that somehow he was right. They had given a lot of work and missions to Sasuke and even to me and the people who I considered my friends. There had been some days since I hadn't been more than five minutes with Sasuke all by myself without talking and worrying about work. I sighed deeply concerned clutching the mug with smoking tea not really believing that since days ago I was married with Sasuke Uchiha and we had had a beautiful wedding and unexpected honeymoon. Since days and nights ago we shared this department and we were in a twisted way a family together with our little girl. If I turned back to glance at the beginning of our story together since I had gotten pregnant of Miyu I really knew that I couldn't ever expect to be like this right now, not even in my wildest dreams. I smiled sadly resting my head on the flat area wondering if our life was going to be like this forever. I wasn't completely happy and I didn't complain because I had known how things were going to be since the beginning and I wasn't totally unhappy either. I guessed that was why I always felt that bittersweet feeling inside me. I was honest when I told to myself that I wouldn't change it not even being like this.
I closed my eyes without helping myself to go back to that first night of our honeymoon. Why I couldn't shake it from my mind? Why I tortured myself with it? Why I didn't say no and I didn't stop? I sighed resigned and with my face red as a tomato when I heard footsteps and I looked up immediately startled and surprised. I had been so absent that I didn't hear him opening the door and entering the kitchen before. Now Sasuke was there staring at me serious and calm and I smacked myself for my distraction. I needed to get rid off it. My heart flipped in secret joy watching him there and I restrained my desire to embrace him and kiss him like I always felt when he came back.
"You're home." I said smiling gladly and standing up. "Do you want something to eat?" I knew it was late but I always asked him because I didn't know if he had already eaten something. He shook his head and I nodded staring at him with medic nin eyes. I remembered once more our former sensei's suppositions and I was concerned when I noticed his paleness and the soft black rings around his tired and alert eyes. He was exhausted and it was obvious even if I wasn't precisely a medic nin. "Then, I guess you want to sleep."
He nodded and then he turned around going silently to our room. I followed him and noticed that he was looking for clothes and a towel. So he wanted to take a shower first. I had discovered that he enjoyed one after being so busy and feeling exhausted and I was glad that at least I was catching some personal likes and routines of him. Wasn't that something that happens between married people? While I helped him choosing clean clothes and a soft towel I wondered if he had noticed some things about me. Did he know what my favorite tea was? I sighed chuckling melancholic after he entered the bathroom and soon I heard the water running. I went to bed and I closed my eyes feeling myself tired. Something good about him being mute was that at least there weren't awkward moments between us like when we came to sleep because we didn't have anything to say to the other. But without a doubt I had changed that awkwardness for his total recovery and the sound of his voice even if it was only to tell me that he wanted to sleep and not talk. Surprisingly my heavy eyes watered and I blinked away the unshed tears annoyed by my soon desire to cry. I had known it since the beginning, right? So I didn't have the right to complain and cry about it every five damn minutes. I shook my head inwardly and soon I let the tiredness to take over me feeling comfortable enough in the bed we shared with so much invisible distance.
The next day I woke up as always and I did my daily routine. I always woke up earlier to prepare breakfast and do some chores and be ready when I went to wake up Sasuke and Miyu. My mother came a little later to take care of Miyu till I returned home and I was very grateful to her now that her time as a babysitter was longer than before thanks to the Council's obsession over my little family. I wondered what father thought about it. I hadn't seen him or spoken with him since that day when he had come to tell me what he thought about my marriage with Sasuke. I shook my head getting rid off the memory because it always made me sad when I thought about it and I had enough to worry anyway. I went to wake up Sasuke and then I went to Miyu's room to prepare her for the new day and she was always happy and serene. When I was brushing her wet hair after dressing her I noticed that Sasuke hadn't come out of our room. Was he still taking a shower? I had gone to wake him up a long moment ago. I didn't want to scare or worry Miyu so I left her watching the TV for a moment in her room and I came in my room concerned and looking around for Sasuke. I was immediately worried when I saw him still on bed. I approached him frowning in agony and seriousness.
"Are you ok, Sasuke?" I asked him leaning over as he was lying on his left side slightly shaking and panting with half opened clouded eyes. I touched his forehead and preoccupied I noticed he had a fever. I knew that a beginning of one of his migraines was coming and I stroked his hair softly speaking with soft voice and a kind smile hiding my intense worry and anguish. This was the first time he had one since some time ago and I didn't like it coming back. That only could mean that his sickness was getting stronger once more. I didn't want to let it be obvious to him. "Don't worry; I'll call Tsunade-sama to tell her that you cannot go today to the quarters, alright? You need to rest and stay in home to recover." I sought inside one of the cabinets of our closet his medicine and I helped him to take it knowing that if he hadn't fought back my decision of stopping him to do his duties as shinobi it was because he in fact was feeling really bad. That only worried me more but I controlled myself and I covered him with the blanket. "I'll take care of everything, ok?"
I left him resting in the darkness and quietness of the room and I called Tsunade-sama to inform her. I was more prepared to deal with Sasuke's condition now that before because I had read and followed his medical file and I assured her that I could take care of him but I wasn't going to be able to go to work either. She understood me and asked me to call her or Shizune if something worse happened and then I called my mother to tell her to not come today. She was honestly worried for Sasuke's condition and that touched me. I promised to call her if something else happened and to call her when the things had gone back to normal. After that I took advantage of my unexpected staying in home to do some chores in advance and to be with my little girl like I hadn't been able since days ago. I watched over Sasuke every free time I had and I stayed inside the rest of the day in the enjoyable space of home and company of the two beings I loved more than anything in the world. After lunch I received the call of Kakashi-sensei asking me how Sasuke was doing after knowing about from our Hokage and the call of Naruto too. He was pretty concerned and promised to come later to stay a while with us. In the afternoon surprisingly I took a nap like Miyu did almost all days and I lay beside Sasuke sleeping in serenity and happiness for a long while. When I woke up I noticed gladly and relieved that he looked in fact better and his migraine was almost gone as his fever. I forced him to remain in bed and to eat something accompanied by Miyu as I read some paperwork from work. It wasn't till the sunset came when I received a call from Ino that I remembered our plans for today at dinner. She didn't know about Sasuke's migraine and I told her to justify the change of plans. I didn't think it was good for him to have a little party with friends when he was still resting and recovering. Ino thought otherwise and said that company was going to make him good. I wanted the company too. I was so distracted by the conversation I had had with Kakashi-sensei about the Council's weird actions and the worry Tsunade-sama had hid behind her cheerful voice when I had told her about his sudden migraine that I really wanted some joy and ignorance. But Sasuke came first so I decided to ask him directly about it. Miyu clapped happily knowing of her godmother coming and Sasuke nodded serious and calm and less pale. I smiled grateful at Miyu for convincing him with her innocence and at him for accepting it so nicely in his own way. Ino squealed cheerfully promising me to bring dinner and then she hung up. I couldn't help to feel happy the rest of the day.
I prepared everything for their coming and before they came I checked once more Sasuke's medical file while he was on the living room watching TV with Miyu. Even when I was happy for the reunion I didn't forget about his sudden migraine and I wondered worried about what could happen next. Were all the other symptoms going to worsen again? His movements and walking were slower than the ones of common people but he could defend himself pretty well in that specific area. I do know that. Before blushing once more I noticed that at least the treatment for his migraines and fever had functioned very well. Today had been one short and easy. He hadn't hallucinated thank heavens since his last time in the hospital after the Amaterasu's incident and it was the same with his seizures. He hadn't had one like the smaller ones when he focused and unfocused his look unconsciously or when he was completely absent for just seconds and he didn't see or hear anything. That was the symptom I dreaded more because I knew that it was dangerous enough to let him in a coma or kill him. Just thinking it made me shudder in panic, anguish and distress. He wasn't completely able to show pain or emotions still but he had gotten better at it and sometimes he could do it. The major part of the time his look wasn't lost. He still could easily get disoriented if he didn't pay attention or had help or used one of the trainings Kakashi-sensei had taught him. He didn't try to write again ever and it took a long time for him to read. Every time I watched the scars in his arms and the seal in his forehead it hurt me deeply and it made me wonder what was going on inside his mind. I wanted so bad to understand him, to help him, to heal him. But he was unreachable as always and worse now with his strange illness. He still needed to be reminded of the things he had to do but he had gotten better at it too, especially when it was concerning missions like if he wanted to prove to anyone he was perfectly capable of performing them. He hadn't had one of his catatonic episodes all the days and nights I had been living under the same roof as him and I was grateful for that because it meant that at least he was controlled in that symptom. I didn't want to see him like Naruto and some of our friends had seen him previously when he was like a dead lying on bed with empty look. I was sure that was going to make me cry and my heart was going to be crushed without a doubt.
Soon I had to forget about that when Ino and Sai arrived accompanied by Yamato-sensei with the dinner. I felt very happy for seeing him after a long time, he had been doing missions outside Konoha since two and a half years ago and he had returned to stay. Minutes later Chouji, Naruto, Hinata, Neji and Tenten came. We decided to eat in the living room where we were going to be more comfortable. Miyu spent all the while in Naruto's arms giggling at his jokes and mere cheerful presence. The dinner was delicious and I couldn't help to be sincerely glad for the moment. We talked about the absent ones and I knew then that Shikamaru had gone to Suna to see Temari and the rest were busy with missions outside Konoha. Even when I was putting attention to my friends and I enjoyed the chat and dinner and talked giving my opinion and laughed when they said something funny, I didn't forget to keep an eye on Sasuke and I noticed that Yamato-sensei was doing the same as me furtively. But Sasuke was Sasuke all the while and he behaved and I could assure that he enjoyed the reunion in his own way. I had asked Ino when she had arrived with Sai and Yamato-sensei to not stay a lot because even when I wished with all my heart the good company all night long I knew that I had to take care of Sasuke even if I was a little paranoid. She understood perfectly. That was why after just three delightful hours of chatting, laughing and sharing, and after we discussed the possibilities of Shikamaru marrying Temari to avoid their romance at distance (we all thought that it was unlikely to happen when we knew that for our genius friend marriage meant trouble and he probably was going to excuse himself the longer he could) and the weird petition of dancing Hanabi had asked to Gaara (we couldn't make Hinata to say something about it but her nervousness spoke by itself), Chouji, Hinata, Naruto, Neji and Tenten were gone after saying goodnight. They all were pretty relieved and glad to see Sasuke doing fine but I couldn't shake off the bad feeling I had living inside my worried heart whenever I watched him and I noticed that he wasn't in the same condition he was after he had been released from the hospital and during the wedding and honeymoon. The last ones to leave were Ino, Sai and Yamato-sensei who stayed to help me to pick up all the mess. While Sasuke took Miyu to sleep I was saying thanks and goodbye to the three of them at the door.
"I'll see you tomorrow then at work."
"Sure." I said smiling sincerely cheerful to my blond friend. "You were right, we needed this and it was wonderful, thank you."
"Oh come on, Sakura! You don't have to say it." Ino dismissed me with a quick graceful movement of her hands. "We all needed it with all the extra hours we're working!"
I nodded not wanting to think again why that was happening. Instead I smiled and I waved a goodbye when she left first hanging from Sai's arm. Yamato-sensei remained at the door watching them walking away as me with calm face.
"I'm very sorry for losing your wedding. I had heard it was a magnificent event."
"Yeah… don't worry Yamato-sensei; I'm very happy that you had returned finally to stay in Konoha."
We talked after the silhouettes of Ino and Sai had turned on the corner seconds ago. I smiled at one of my former teammates while he nodded and I was pretty sure he was thinking deeply in something as he was in front of me.
"Is something wrong?"
I asked a little worried and intrigued and he shook his head with calm.
"I was just wondering how old Miyu is." I couldn't help the surprise I felt when I knew that was his inner thought. "I'm pretty sure she will be as talented as his father is."
"She's 2 years old. Well, in fact she's almost 2 years and 3 months old. Is something wrong?"
I questioned him again when I noticed the thoughtful expression written all over his face. Yamato-sensei just shook his head again and put on a soft and calm smile as I wrinkled my forehead in curiosity and preoccupation.
"I'm just thinking ahead of time. That's all. Well, it's late so I'm going. Thank you for everything, Sakura."
I nodded this time in silence and still concerned by his sudden and weird way of questioning till he was gone. Later as I was lying on bed I wondered if I wasn't being paranoid and looking for things where there weren't anything. Was I so afraid for my little family that I was seeing worries and fears whenever I look? Probably Yamato-sensei was thinking in Miyu as the heiress of the Uchiha Clan and the Sharingan and how she was going to be as famous as her father when he was young. The most of fame Sasuke had gained was unfortunately thanks to the tragedy that had happened to his family that fateful night. It was true that the Uchiha Clan meant always talent and recognition but what had happened then had increased in a terrible way their story besides the natural label of being part of the Uchiha Clan. My little girl was now part of it too and of course, the story between her father and me wasn't very cherry either and probably it was going to add more fame to her name. I sighed knowing inwardly that I was over thinking too much and that I was probably paranoid. I needed to calm down a little. I wasn't alone and I wasn't going to let anyone to harm my little family and I was sure that if something was going on Yamato-sensei had told me just like Kakashi-sensei and Tsunade-sama told me sooner or later when they were worried about something concerning my little family.
Anyway some other things came along that were most important and urgent than my suspicion for an innocent question one of my former teammates had asked. With the passing of days and then weeks that flew away thanks to our jobs the situation with Sasuke and the incessant work the Council gave him worsened his condition as the Hokage had predicted and Kakashi-sensei had told me that day. Besides, I was very busy too when Ino was sent on a mission with Shizune and I was left in charge of more responsibilities I usually had. In a couple of days after that happy little reunion with some of our friends I didn't see them again more than maybe ten or fifteen minutes when we crossed paths. There was some sort of civil war in some villages belonging to the Raikage and the Land of Fire was called to lend a hand. That didn't help either to calm down the things here in Konoha and I was hoping like all of us to not see another uprising war, so that was why everyone worked so hard to avoid that terrible outcome. Before the fourth month of our marriage ended I watched preoccupied and anguished how my husband grew paler and thinner and how worn out he looked in fact and the most surprising thing was to see the fire of his determination in the depth of his black eyes and how alive they were whenever a mission was ordered. Of course, I knew I had to be ready to see that intense will of the ninja my proud Sasuke always wanted to be. Even when I noticed how the burden of the incessant and important work affected him I was amazed and I admired how alive he was looking in spite of his weakened state of health and I was grateful that he followed my advices of taking care of himself but that didn't change the fact that he was overworking and getting sick. In those days before the fourth month of our marriage ended Sasuke had a couple of migraines and fevers once more and then it came the day I had dreaded since I had become Mrs. Uchiha: the day when he had one of his catatonic episodes. That day after staying more hours at the hospital working I had remained in home too thanks to Shizune's intervention. All days and nights I had that horrible and terrible hunch inside my chest hurting it and it was related to the condition of Sasuke and the worry for him and our home and family. I didn't share it with him and I behaved normally and like a perfect nurse and medic nin hoping and believing that sooner or later the situation was going to end and everything was going to be peaceful again or at least at the common rhythm of our life in Konoha. The rumors about the things going better in those far away villages increased and that relieved me too. It amazed me how being busy I had already almost lived so long under the same roof with Sasuke Uchiha. My eternal Sasuke-kun.
"How the things had been between you two?"
Mother asked while she filled my plate for the third time with a delicious stew she had brought from home.
"Good." I said calm and with a soft smile. I wasn't lying exactly. Besides the worrying I felt all days and nights concerning Sasuke's health, the situation between us was the same since we had married and I had predicted it very well. We lived under the same roof and in the same space and we shared some of our time together when we were in the security of our home. We were more like roommates than lovers and we hadn't returned to the showering of affection we had showed in our wedding. Miyu didn't seem to take it wrong and probably she thought that Sasuke's serious behavior was like that in all matters even being married to me. I was happy that she hadn't seemed to really understand how things were between her father and me and she was satisfied noticing that I was attentive at him and he was courteous with me and we never fought. I knew that it was bittersweet as the beginning and that some part, a big part, of my heart was broken every time I realized once more that nothing was going to change and we were together because of the benefits and that didn't erase the fact that we were some sort of strangers, two people who had known each other since kids and had grown apart till they couldn't be really friends like we never were in fact. We had been teammates but the intimacy of the friendship really had never grown between Sasuke and me. "Everything is fine."
I answered eating calmly from my plate as she sat down in front of me with a mug of steaming coffee in her hands. She seemed worried and serious.
"Are you sure, sweetie?"
"Yes. I'm just worried for him." I stopped eating and I sighed sadly blinking away the tears dwelling in my eyes. "He hadn't been healthy these last days since he's working so hard. Look what happened today."
Today. Today was the first time I had seen him in one of his catatonic episodes and it had broken my heart to watch him as a lifeless doll lying on bed with empty and lost onyx eyes. I had woken up to see him like that and it had only worsened my shaken mood and worried state. Mother insisted in coming when she knew that I was going to stay again in home to take care of Miyu and Sasuke and she had seen it as a chance to spend time together with me. Mother had come immediately and I couldn't thank her enough for her disposition and time.
"Don't worry, Sakura. You'll see that he'll recover as soon as this madness of that problem on the villages of the Land of Thunder ends." She put the mug of coffee on the table and clutched softly one of my hands. I smiled at her sincere and calm expression. "I know you're telling me that everything is fine between the both of you concerning your relationship as newlyweds and I trust in you if you're saying that everything is fine. I can see that in Miyu. I had never seen her so happy before." I smiled wider knowing that she was right. Mother's face softened but she furrowed her brow looking at me worried. "I'm more concerned about how you're dealing with everything. The work, the house, your daughter, your husband. You don't look very well either, honey."
"Don't worry mom. I'll recover too as soon as everything relaxes again, like you said."
"I hope so. You have been overworking yourself too! You'll go crazy! If it wasn't because you're not thinner and in fact you look pretty well in spite of the circumstances I would be more worried, Sakura."
I laughed knowing she was right. It was thanks to her that we hadn't starved to death. She took care of filling the kitchen with edible food and drinks. I couldn't thank her enough for all the help and care she provided to us. But I knew she was right and that I could cross my own limits so I needed to take care of myself if I didn't want to get sick either.
"And you only have one child."
"Well, someday probably I'll have others."
Mother looked at me astonished and I chuckled at her expression with a joking expression.
"Sasuke and I talked about it." I started calmly not wanting to tell her that we had had that night of passion together. It didn't matter and I didn't see the point in worrying her for it. "We both want more children."
"So… that means that you two… are you pregnant, Sakura?"
She asked serious, concerned and shocked and I laughed again trying to calm her. I knew I had to lie a little about the whole issue but I was saying the truth at the end.
"Nothing had happened to provoke that specific consequence. And if it had happened, I learned my lesson, mom. I would have taken precautions to not be pregnant once more. I'm more conscious than that. And it would have been something I needed to discuss with Sasuke as my husband first."
Yes. I had lied saying that we hadn't had sex but I had told the truth when I had told her that I had taken precautions. I wasn't going to bring another child to the world without really thinking in it this time. It wasn't that I regretted how I had gotten Miyu in my life but I knew that it hadn't been in the best way for her own good. And now I was married and I couldn't take decisions without having Sasuke's opinion and support and we weren't in our best to have another child. This wasn't the best moment and we had agreed in that and I had known it that first night of our honeymoon when we had had sex and I had taken precautions to avoid that particular situation. Mother didn't say anything else because I knew that she felt it wasn't her place to meddle in my life as Sasuke's wife if we wanted or not more children. Even if I had asked her opinion I was sure that she would have told me that it wasn't her place to tell me what to do. Probably the way the things were and were going to be the rest of our life as a married couple wasn't the best to have more children and I was aware of that. My marriage with Sasuke was a lie not minding if we were ok and we didn't fight at least till now and I wondered now serious, sad and concerned if it was good to be thinking in one future day to have more children. Wasn't enough for Miyu to be the only victim till now of my stupidities and the cruel fate? Did I want more victims, innocent victims, to suffer in this theatre of pretending? Was I overreacting and the way the things were between Sasuke and me weren't as bad as I thought to provide a good, secure and healthy environment to children? I kept on thinking in it when mother had finally gone by noon and I was feeling better and less tired. Thanks to her I hadn't have to do the house chores and I could sleep more time and I didn't have to cook either for the whole day. I knew she was right in worrying for me and I knew that she thought that probably it was better if we kept Miyu as an only child. Sasuke's weird illness was in the middle of this too and I knew I had a husband that needed special care and attention. That was another factor to take care of. But surely she was going to be thrilled if I gave her more grandchildren and I couldn't help to smile happily when I imagined me surrounded by three or four kids. I wanted more children and I couldn't deny that to myself. Besides, Sasuke wanted it too.
I spent the rest of the day being with Miyu and trying to keep her away from Sasuke right now. I didn't want for her to see him like that. When she took her nap at afternoon I went to check on Sasuke and I couldn't help my tears to fall as I kneeled in front of him beside our bed and I watched him deeply worried and afflicted lying on his left side. Should I say something to him when he recovered from this about his persistent trying to prove himself to everyone? Would he listen to me? Would he be angry with me for meddling in his life as a shinobi? Did I have to stand up for my little family's sake? And the worst of all: Could this have happened even if he hadn't been working so hard and just because it was the natural course of his rare sickness? I sighed thoughtful drying my tears with the back of my hands as I got up after caressing his face softly and I rested in silence on my bed's side close to his still and distant body and spirit. I didn't dare to embrace him knowing that even in his state and not minding his sickness nothing changed between us and I had to respect the way things were between us. I prayed for the next day to come better for all of us as I closed my eyes for a moment letting an easy and superficial dream to take me away from my worries and fears at least for some minutes while I rested my forehead against his back. But the next day wasn't exactly as I had prayed for. It was true that by the night of the day before when he had had his catatonic episode he had recovered from it and he had looked pretty well in fact but the next day I noticed anguished and concerned while he was finishing dressing how he remained absent for some minutes and he wasn't paying attention to me or didn't see me in front of him. I knew what it meant and my heart ached when I remembered the big demonstration of that symptom, the one I dreaded most, even more than the hallucinations. I didn't dare to say anything to him till we were at the table having breakfast with Miyu and we were ready to return to our daily duties at work and I noticed his look and attention coming and going in an unconscious way for him. I frowned intensely worried and I opened my mouth to say something finally. I didn't care if he got angry with me. I just cared about his well being.
"You shouldn't go to work today. I'll call Tsunade-sama to tell her to give you another day."
I said with a little smile not wanting to sound bossy or angered. Sasuke just stared at me with narrowed icy black eyes and I knew he didn't agree and that he was bothered by my suggestion. Miyu looked at the both of us alternatively with curious and preoccupied childish expression.
"Trust me, please Sasuke. Just another day. I'm asking you as your medic nin and not your wife. You need to stop working so much and so hard. It's affecting you… you don't need to prove anything. You're an excellent shinobi. But you need to take care of yourself more. Please…"
I simply went on with glistening jade eyes fixed on his and serious face but Sasuke just glared at me and got up telling me with his movement and gesture that he didn't care about my opinion even if it was a medical one. I didn't dare to say anything else while he leaned over to Miyu to kiss her goodbye in her forehead as always and I averted my eyes blinking away my unshed worried tears. I didn't want my little girl to notice that this was our first disagreement as a married couple and it had happened in front of her. It had been the first one even if we hadn't yelled or fought in front of her, something we both had promised to never do. The pressure of my unyielding anguish and concern just increased inside my chest. I knew he wasn't going to listen to me because he wasn't going to let this to stain his status as a perfect and great ninja from Konoha and less if the Council was involved. He was proud as he always was. Suddenly I felt him near me once more without noticing him coming my way (was I mussing once more?) and I looked up to find him standing at my side staring at me with calm and serious expression. He didn't seem upset with me anymore. Surprisingly he kissed my cheek softly and courteously as I remained still, concerned and amazed sitting on my chair watching him with wide opened eyes before he turned around and leave without watching back once.
Sasuke…
I spent the whole day worried for him but I felt relieved when I didn't receive a bad notice concerning him and my unwavering worry for his condition but unfortunately that half peace didn't last when at the midnight of the next day he started to have hallucinations again like when he was in the hospital after the Amaterasu's situation but less intense and dangerous than then. I stayed awake with him all the rest of the night inside our room the most of the time embracing him and holding his hand when he wasn't too altered to reject me. I wasn't acting exactly as his wife but more as his medic nin and personal nurse when I had him in my arms and I was aware that it was the best way to act. I tried to soothe him with words but I knew that physical contact was more effective and I realized that he was trying his best to control his hallucinations and maintain the order of his mental state in spite of how strong they were. When the next day finally arrived he had fallen asleep at last and I sighed relieved and tired watching him sleeping with a saddened smile. The treatment had worked like always and I was grateful for that but I couldn't help to wonder how long its effect was going to last in Sasuke's life. I had to call Tsunade-sama to excuse ourselves once more from our respective works and she decided to do a new complete checkup to Sasuke in secret, of course, later at the hospital. I agreed sleepy and exhausted and deeply worried for my husband. A moment later mother arrived with Ino who had the day free and the both offered to take care of everything while I rested and slept in Miyu's room. Sasuke was sleeping in our room and our daughter was with mother at the living room. I yawned sleepy, worried and afflicted as I watched Ino preparing the bed for me in my little girl's room. I couldn't be more grateful to her and to mother for all the help, support and care the both gave us when we needed it.
"Don't worry for anything. I'm pretty sure that everything will be good when Tsunade-sama do the checkup to Sasuke. Probably she will have to adjust the treatment or something like that. But I think personally that Sasuke needs to lower his rhythm of work."
She said the last more serious and I knew she was right. I remembered that I had tried to stop it before and I lowered my emerald tired eyes thoughtful and burning in worry and love. I couldn't convince him then and I wasn't confident in achieving it ever. Sasuke could be very stubborn when he had decided something.
"My, your mother is right. You'll lose your mind with your worrying, Sakura!" My blond friend said sincerely worried and serious and I looked up smiling softly to her. I didn't want to worry anyone and less for me when Sasuke was more important. "Don't give me that crap "I'm fine"! You look so drained girl!"
"I know, mom already told me."
I said still smiling calmly. Ino just sighed glaring at me meditative and concerned.
"You don't need to work so much either!"
"I work what we need to work, remember?"
"Yes, I do know." She said with her hands on her hips still glaring at me preoccupied and serious. I chuckled going to the bed and sitting there. I knew she was right, of course, like mother had been. Probably I was working too much and harder and worrying to death every damn time Sasuke was out of my sight. I supposed that with all this anguish and desperation I felt for Sasuke my soul and body had resented it and I was more stressed than before. I was eating well, pretty well in fact. I tried to take care of myself but I was so worked up with Sasuke's situation and my little family's protection that I was stressing myself out of my own limits and I was paying the prize. "But I know you're doing your own research about Sasuke's illness."
I was surprised by her words. I stared amazed at her while my blue eyed friend smirked satisfied.
"Do you think that I wouldn't know?"
"I'm just started with that a few days ago… I do it in my free time."
I said defending myself. It was true. Since I had been noticing the way Sasuke was being affected by his weird illness I had panicked and I felt frustrated and desperate to do something else. It wasn't a big deal, unfortunately.
"Free time? You don't have free time!" Ino yelled exasperated and funnily and I chuckled knowing she was right. "Thank heavens the things outside Konoha are calming and going better, soon you'll have free time but till then, don't stress yourself so much, Sakura! It's enough with the concern you carry inside you every damn single day and night and it's understandable. You worry for your husband. You need to take care of yourself more if you want to support him and help him."
She scolded me pointing at me solemnly and I laughed knowing she was right once more. I sighed tiredly.
"Yeah, you're right. And besides, my researching hadn't gained anything good."
Ino nodded after seeing me saddening by my sincere words and preoccupied.
"We all will try to help Sasuke, alright?" She said with a big and warm smile. "You'll see that we'll find something. Right now you just need to worry about sleeping and resting, ok?"
"Ok."
We both laughed and as soon as I buried my head on the pillow I was soon sleeping but that didn't mean that I could forget for a moment my worry for Sasuke's well being. It was now like the love I felt for him that breathes and lives with me every damn second of my life and that I cannot erase, forget or change for anything in the world by will or unconsciously. Now that worry was growing to become as strong and existent in me as this love that only belongs to him, eternally and hopelessly only to him.
I couldn't follow completely all the advices my mother and Ino gave me with what happened days later. Sasuke's hallucinations reappeared from time to time and every time one clouded his mind the next one was worse. I spent the time worrying to death while I was working and taking care of Miyu and Sasuke and when I was in home and stressing myself wondering what I could do to stop Sasuke to accept every cursing mission the Council demanded of him. When they heard that Sasuke had gotten better they immediately called for him and asked if he could perform certain order as they did with the other shinobi and kunoichi belonging to Konoha counting our friends. The wise Hokage was working by their side and she did her effort trying to maintain Sasuke away but this one didn't let her meddle in his personal silent, cold and courteous war against the Council. I thanked Tsunade-sama for her goodhearted intention but I knew that she wasn't going to achieve what I had tried to days before till Sasuke couldn't really decide for himself, something we both dreaded and made my soul to cry in agony and concern. Sasuke's hallucinations intensified so much that provoked his former behavior of trying to run away from Konoha like months ago and thanks to the surveillance our friends and sensei had on him he didn't make it like in the past. One time I had to rush to Konoha's limits to pick him up and come home accompanied by Naruto and other occasion I waited desperate, tearful and worried at home while Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei brought him back home from the frontier of our village. We noticed how much he really wanted to leave behind Konoha and disappear like he had done it before and we knew that it was mainly because of his hallucinations. I held back my tongue and I was a patient, caring and dedicated nurse and medic nin all those long days and nights of endless and hurting preoccupation, sadness, frustration, worry and anger till I couldn't anymore the final day when Sasuke's stress was so strong and his hallucinations had caused him to run away being pursued by Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and Hinata that they had only reached him when his condition couldn't take it any longer and he had suffered a seizure like the one he had in Miyu's last birthday but even worse. If it wasn't because they were on his tail following him to stop him (a matter the blond Hokage kept secret to the Council the best she could) he could have really die all alone in the middle of the forest. That thought haunted and scared me horribly while I was sitting by our bed waiting for him to recover consciousness. I did my best hiding from Miyu the real state of his father and the true mood of my heart and I didn't leave home at all. Mother came to help me and when she couldn't Ino or Hinata did it and that helped me a lot and I thanked them from the bottom of my heart. That last seizure had left Sasuke really weakened and I had taken finally the decision to stop him myself at any way necessary, whatever it took me. If I had to yell and be mad I was going to do it and be it because I couldn't help to feel like dying every time I watched him lying on our mattress unconscious and weakened. It took me a lot of strength to not cry in front of my little girl whenever she asked me for her father and when she entered the room to see him and she just greeted him with a hopeful smile and held him and kissed his cheek. I was so desperate, concerned and sad, and the worse was that I was angry at myself for not stopping him before more roughly and I was angry at him for being so stubborn and proud and idiot. What kind of wife I was when I hadn't done more to stop him when I knew he wasn't doing well to himself? What kind of wife I was when I gave up so easily just because I knew him pretty well and I didn't want him to be mad at me and I respected his decisions not minding his true condition and limitations? It was enough. I was going to force him to listen to me and stop this mad rhythm of life he was living in spite of his disrespect for his special condition.
Even after I took that firm decision I chose to wait till he was stronger and better. That was why I didn't say anything to him when he finally regained consciousness and I just focused for a while in the relief and happiness that flowed from my heart to my entire body when he opened his black orbs and he was back to me, to us, after days of being lost in the velvety darkness of rest and recovery. I just stared at him with serious and worried expression as my tears pricked at the corners of my emerald eyes and my lips trembled in emotion and release of tension and stress that had possessed my body all these long hours. The scolding and anger were contained in my wrinkled forehead waiting for erupt. I couldn't say anything to him right then when he was still a little weak and confused and I contented myself with knowing that he was recovering without consequences, holding back my own desire to hold him, take his hand or simply kiss him passionately and never let him go again. Hours later he seemed a lot better and Miyu was with him very happy keeping him company as I was in the kitchen finally relaxing a little after so many hours of despair, concern and frustration. The hurt and sadness were disappearing from my troubled soul as I drank my steaming favorite tea that I bought at the hospital and Hinata was washing the dishes. We were talking about Sasuke's recovery when someone knocked at the door and Naruto's girlfriend went to see who it was and I remained thankful sitting on the chair feeling really tired and weak. I had barely slept in these last days when Sasuke was unconscious and even when I had wanted to sleep more my aching and preoccupied heart didn't let me do it. I wondered if it had been really just four months since my wedding and honeymoon. Four months ago I had married Sasuke Uchiha and I had devoted myself and my life to him and our little pretty daughter. I couldn't help to smile happily in spite of the sorrow and I felt the bittersweet feeling spreading all over my being. It didn't matter that everything wasn't sweet. Just staying with my little sort of family was more than enough to make me smile and find happiness in my own way.
"Sakura"
I turned around hearing Hinata calling me and I found her coming to the kitchen followed by Tsunade-sensei. I tried to get up smiling to my former sensei and glad of seeing her in my little home but she dismissed my effort and just took sit smirking too in front of me. While the Hyuuga heiress served her a cup of delicious tea I wondered between worry and joy why she had come to see me. She was very busy and it wasn't common to see her visiting someone even if that someone had been her apprentice once. After all she was the Hokage still.
"Tsunade-sama! I'm so glad to see you here."
"Me too, Sakura. How's everything? I received by Shizune the notice that Sasuke had woken up hours ago." I nodded feeling my eyes watering easily at the mention of that and I controlled it blinking away the damn and stupid desire to cry. "How's he?"
"He's fine. He's recovering but everything is going back to normal."
"I'm happy to hear that." Hinata sat down with her own cup of tea and Tsunade-sama smiled to her before she fixed her honey wise eyes on me. The pearl eyed girl watched both of us alternatively serious and concerned. Surely she was thinking the same as me. "I guess you're wondering why I came all the way here to talk to you."
I nodded frowning preoccupied and intrigued. Our Hokage was calm and relaxed even showing a little of concern but her attitude eased me enough to not be really alarmed. Hinata kept looking at us silent and preoccupied.
"I came because I have a proposal to you. I'm worried with all that happened concerning Sasuke and yourself after your wedding. The fixation the Council had showed to him had affected him like I sadly predicted and I've been wondering how to help you out. The affairs Konoha had outside shouldn't involve Sasuke anymore and the obsession the Council has on him shouldn't affect you either."
"I'm part of it because I married him, right?"
"Yes. I think that's why you've been more involved than ever in missions, investigations and work. I promised to help you all and so I thought in something to give you some time away from all the madness of the Council and the business of the village." I averted my eyes thoughtful and a little worried. Tsunade-sama smiled reassuringly. "Sakura, I know that you and Sasuke are true ninjas of Konoha and that you were raised to be devoted to your obligations and responsibilities, and of course, above all, I guess you feel loyalty and concern for the village that had been the home of your families and yourselves for a very long time." She paused briefly and I locked my jade gaze on her smiling and understanding face. "But right now the most important thing is your family, your husband, your daughter and yourself. The three of you deserve a time off due to the special circumstances you're going through. Nobody can blame you for it and in fact I think to force you to accept my proposal. It's not like you're going to vacations, you'll be doing something good for others and Sasuke will have time to rest and recover. It won't be forever either."
"What's your proposal, Tsunade-sama?"
I asked nodding grateful at the blond woman. She was right. Right now the most important thing was my family. Sasuke and Miyu.
"I talked with the Kazekage at your wedding." She began smiling calmly. Hinata and I exchanged an intrigued look. "We both agreed that sharing not only some tactics and way of improving the ninja's development is all we can do as allies. We talked specifically about the medical matter and he commented that in Sunagakure this isn't a very developed matter and that it is necessary to attend and take a look at it. So we got to the conclusion that it was a good idea for the both villages to help each other in that particular issue. I want to send you there with Sasuke and Miyu of course, to train and teach some of the ninjas that wants to be real medic nin and to exchange some techniques they could have with you. You can learn too a lot of new stuff and it would be something reciprocal and with good benefits. I can give a long permission to Sasuke and don't let him be sent to any mission till he's totally recovered, I can deal with the Council, don't worry for that and it's time to do it and say that I'm there. I personally think that a new air and place can help him to settle down and adjust the treatment you know now perfectly. What do you think?"
I was speechless at first and amazed by her words. In fact it sounded perfect and it meant a lot to me as a medic nin and to the three of us as a family. Tsunade-sama smirked knowing by the change of my surprise to a happy smile that I was agreeing and Hinata smiled too.
"It's a perfect motive to force Sasuke to stop and relax for a while. You can blame it on me so you won't have to quarrel with him about it." The Hokage said winking and I just chuckled. "And it's perfect for you, for your career as a medic nin. You're his wife and you deserve to take opportunities like this one too, he needs to see that. You're not the only one who has to sacrifice sometime."
"I think you're right." I said finally smiling wider and grateful. "Thank you so much, Tsunade-sama!"
I almost cried once more as I thanked her but I controlled myself with a lot of effort. Hinata clutched my hand smiling kindly.
"You don't have to say a word. Anyway, I already sent the information to the Kazekage so I guess he'll be waiting in the next days your arrival to Suna. Don't worry about anything or anyone here, or the Council, or your house. We can handle it."
"I don't know what to say… you're all so good with us… thank you so much!" I couldn't help to start sobbing stupidly. I was so touched by their concern and care but I was feeling embarrassed for my emotional mood. Hinata held tighter my hand as I was trying to dry my tears with the free one. Tsunade-sama looked at me smiling understanding. "I was so worried wondering how I could force Sasuke to stop! I was ready to yell and fight! I was desperate building up excuses to make him stop!"
"Well, now you don't have to worry for that. Just blame it all on me."
We laughed after she gestured indifference and shrugged and my damn childish tears kept falling down my face. I remembered myself in my young years very ashamed and I was sure inner Sakura was laughing her head off mocking me.
Later that night, I talked to Sasuke about Tsunade-sama's mission for me and her order for him to take a time to recover and rest. As I was waiting for, he wasn't pleased by the order the Hokage had imposed on him but he couldn't do anything about it, he couldn't go against the high authority of our village and the respect he undoubtedly felt towards her. And concerning my own mission on Sunagakure, I was pretty sure he could see my enthusiasm and what it meant for me as a medic nin. I talked sincerely cheerful and pleading and he just listened to me in his now eternal silence and attention with perfect fixed black orbs. I wasn't going to back out in this and I was going to use my role as his wife if it was necessary.
"Please, Sasuke. It won't be a long time. It's very important to me." Yes, it was. I couldn't deny that. But it wasn't important because it meant good things to me as a medic nin exactly but because it was a perfect excuse to apart him from the Council's fixation and his own pride that had risked his health lately. I wasn't going to scold him now for it because I didn't see the point with the proposal my former blond sensei had done to me and I didn't think that fighting about his former behavior about it was going to help in anything right now. "Support me in this; come with me and Miyu to Suna."
What I dreaded most was the possibility of him staying here even when Tsunade-sama had ordered him to step back of missions and work. What I was going to do then? I knew I wasn't going to let him here alone even if that meant that I had to sacrifice this good opportunity to stay by his side. I wasn't going to enjoy it if I was going to be there worrying to death for him and I knew it perfectly. Sasuke just heard me staring at me seriously calm and then with just a plain and simple nod he accepted and I was so happy and relieved that I smiled widely and I embraced him snaking my arms around his neck.
"Thank you, thank you!"
When I noticed what I had done and I was still doing, I blushed embarrassed and feeling stupid and I pulled away with my face lowered and feeling awkward. He hadn't rejected me in any way and in any second I was holding him but he hadn't embraced me either. Probably he didn't want to be rude with me.
"I'll start preparing everything then. We should go the sooner we could, we cannot have the Kazekage waiting for us too long."
I excused myself with that explanation and without really looking at his eyes I left breathing unevenly and with my heart beating fast against my chest. I hoped to have acted normally. It was sad that something as simple as that kind of demonstration of love between us now that we were married was something so complicated to do. It wasn't spontaneous like it should be. I had to think in the consequences when I did it without thinking and if I did it thinking it, it lost the magic of the moment. Nonetheless, I tried to not fall in that trap of my bittersweet mind right now when in fact things were turning good and in my way. At least for a time my little family and I were going to be far away from the Council's tactics and schemes and it was going to be exciting to live in another place for some time. I couldn't help to be excited and cheerful and very relieved and Miyu was very happy too for the new environment where she was going to live. The only sad thing was the fact that we weren't going to see our friends and family often for a long while but it was inevitable when you moved to a new place. Mother was tearful, sad and happy at the same time when I told her the next day but she supported me after I explained what had happened and what it meant this to me and Sasuke. My friends and sensei were pretty supporting too and even when they were sad somehow and joked around I knew they understood perfectly and besides it wasn't that we were going to the other side of the world or forever. Naruto was the one who moped around more about our soon moving but he was laughing and giving us thumbs up after a little while. I promised that time was going to fly and soon we were going to be here again like if we hadn't ever gone. With all their help we were ready the third day after Tsunade-sama had proposed that mission to me and we parted to Sunagakure in the Land of the Wind where Gaara waited for us. The only thing that worried me a lot was to know that my friends, sensei and the Hokage were dealing with the hard situation outside Konoha and endangering the peace of the ninja world but I breathed deeply and I trusted in them getting out of it soon and fine. I really trusted in our wise Godaime to do the things in the best way for everyone and the safety of my talented and strong dear ones. That was all I could do now that I had the responsibility of my family in my hands.
The trip to Suna lasted the common three days. The only one of our friends that came along (to accompany and help us and of course, for personal reasons) was Shikamaru. The trip in fact was good and enjoyable even though it was naturally nostalgic too. I felt so relaxed, hopeful and joyful after we had left Konoha behind us that it was like a big weight had been removed from my hunched back and aching shoulders and all the tension, worry and fear that I had been feeling was gone too. All that I guessed had worried me in our way to Suna but that didn't lessen my cheerfulness and good mood. Miyu was the one who enjoyed more the trip; after all for her everything seemed new and exciting even in her young two years. We tried to not stop for long time while we were on our way because we wanted very bad to arrive the sooner we could. I wondered all the way about our new life there and how it was going to be our home and my ingénue and dreaming girly mind was distracted imaging things impossible to happen anyway. That didn't shake off my joy and desire to accomplish the mission for which we were moved from our village to this one in the Land of Wind. Finally when we arrived at the afternoon on the third day and I looked around smiling at the village in the desert and the wind blew our clothes and hair I couldn't help to be uneasy about something that I wasn't sure what it was. I was hopeful and happy to be here expecting enthusiastic to start my mission and be relaxed and peaceful far away from the Council's grip back on Konoha and seeing how excited my daughter was. But when I noticed the way Sasuke was acting a little colder than usual and distant and how his piercing black gaze fixed on me sometimes when our looks crossed I felt a weird hunch crushing my chest like if it was warning me something or maybe just remembering me something. I couldn't shake that thought from my wavering mind as we were received happily by Temari and Kankurou (who looked at Shikamaru like if he was some sort of interesting insect) and of course, the Kazekage, Gaara. I was barely putting attention to him while we talked in his office about what Tsunade-sama had already told me and I felt ashamed and bad for my lack of proper focus. I tried very hard to concentrate in my mission and ease myself; probably I was just being paranoiac like always and seeing things that weren't real. Sasuke and Miyu were with me too in that meeting and I took the opportunity to think and analyze his behavior when the Kazekage started to talk to him about the chance for him to do missions like he did it in Konoha with Temari and Kankurou of course while we stayed in Suna. I couldn't deny the fact that Sasuke had a very impressive background as a shinobi and even in his current condition was very talented, great and responsible. That was something Gaara couldn't forget either and he was right in wanting him for that. Of course, Sasuke accepted immediately. I had watched him furtively but he was being his same old self. Had he acted just like that with me? I had been so distracted and concerned that I didn't remember if he had acted that way with Kankurou and Temari before. Was I just imaging things? Was I trying to make a mess out of nothing just because I knew that he didn't love me? I knew that sometimes Sasuke had acted colder and distant with me and others, just like it had happened some moments in our honeymoon and back in my department and I had always justified him knowing that he was married to someone he didn't love even if he felt attracted towards me. I supposed he was a man after all, and I was good enough for him to feel attracted but that wasn't everything in a marriage and we both knew it since the beginning. That didn't erase the fact that his whole heart and soul wasn't into it and for that he could not be happy or at least at ease always. I wasn't either, anyway. I was always drowning in the bittersweet feeling of not having my whole dreamed marriage and family. I supposed that for him it was the same if I was Sakura Haruno or not, any girl pretty enough could have make him feel attracted enough to want to have sex with her at the end. Thinking that as Miyu sat down in my lap staring at her surrounding curiously and Gaara talking to Sasuke I couldn't help the damn and stupid unshed tears to prick at the corner of my blurred jade eyes. I felt a strong desire to cry but I knew I couldn't do it right now and in front of them and so I distractedly dried my tears before they were streaming without stop from my burning eyes. Stupid. You knew it from the start, why are you behaving such like a child now?
"Are you ok, Sakura-san?"
Gaara asked to me in his common serious and observant expression, calm and collected and posing very solemn on his own way as his role demanded. I nodded with an easy and quick smile as Sasuke pierced me by the corner of his onyx eyes and Miyu looked up to me curiously.
"Yes, I guess I'm only tired."
"You should." Gaara said nodding. I hadn't lied. In fact I was tired because of my incessant thoughts troubling me. "It's a long way from Konoha. Then I guess for today it's everything. Tomorrow you can start with your activities, Kankurou will pick you up Sasuke and I'll take Sakura-san to our hospital. You can take Miyu-chan there, I assure you she will be perfectly taken care of and you can have an eye on her. For now I'll accompany you and take you to the place where you will be living."
"You don't have to, Gaara-sama." I said ashamed as we all got up from our seats. "You sure are very busy and have more important things to do than guide us."
"It's not a problem. Anyway soon the night will come and Temari is with Shikamaru. Kankurou is preparing everything for tomorrow. I don't mind going with you."
I nodded not daring to contradict his good intentions and courtesy and we followed him all the while till we reached what it was going to be our temporary home. It was near to the main quarters of the Council and Gaara's office and home of him and his siblings and it didn't take us long to arrive. The place was a little home bigger than my own department at Konoha and very comfy and nice. It had everything we needed and even more that we had back home. Soon I recovered from my emotional moment of realization (I have one from time to time) and we got comfortable soon as we unpacked and walked around the place to know it. Sasuke was carrying Miyu all the while as she pointed to the place she wanted to see clapping happily and I smiled widely and warmly watching them before I went to what it was going to be our room. After I arranged all our belongings in the right place I watched the big comfortable bed and I launched at it finding it the most amazing bed I had ever known. I don't know why but it was such a great bed that I lay down there immediately closing my eyes and smiling after I breathed deeply burying my head in the soft pillow. I was so exhausted indeed.
I don't know how but I had slept from that moment till the next morning and I hadn't awakened all night to at least go to the bathroom. I was so ashamed and feeling guilty the next day knowing I had left Sasuke and Miyu on their own that I promised myself to stay away from that tempting cursed bed that it increased its power when Sasuke was lying down in it too. The next morning at least I woke up early and we were prepared when Kankurou came to pick up Sasuke like Gaara had said the previous afternoon. My Uchiha just nodded to me before going and I stayed there sitting on my chair again feeling that weird feeling that Sasuke was acting colder and distant with me once more. He didn't even kiss my cheek. Before I left the bittersweet feeling to crush me again and the stupid tears to appear and remember myself once more that I knew it and I couldn't expect or demand anymore, Gaara appeared in person and that distracted me enough at least for a while. He accepted to take a cup of tea while I finished preparing Miyu to take her with me to my new place of work. When I returned to the kitchen I watched amazed and ashamed the Kazekage washing and drying his cup of tea after drinking it while I talked with him about my first impression of the night in Suna.
"You didn't have to do that, Gaara-sama."
I said embarrassed but he just turned at me calmly.
"You don't need to call me like that when we're alone, either you or your friends. And it's not a problem at all. It's nothing that Temari doesn't make me do at home when she has the chance."
I couldn't help to chuckle at that. Poor Shikamaru, I thought before we left the house and I followed him through the streets of Suna carrying a very curious and happy Miyu in my arms. Suna was definitely very different from Konoha and so the life style was different too. Gaara nicely talked a little about the village and some buildings till we arrived at the hospital and then he introduced me to the important people working there and then to the ones with whom I was going to work. We were there to teach, learn and share our experiences as prospects of medic nins, new medic nins and experienced medic nins. Immediately I tried to feel myself comfortable and calm and as soon as the Kazekage had gone I started to talk and do my work as the Hokage had asked very enthusiastic and happy. I loved being a medic nin and I loved to be there to teach and learn myself and thanks to that everything worked smoothly and rapidly that the hours went by faster that I could have guessed. From time to time I went to check on Miyu who was in the nursery of the hospital and was very happy knowing new little friends and even learning few things that were going to help her in school and the ninja academy one fine day. When I said goodbye to my companions in work and class I went to pick her up and I watched her for a brief pause smiling very glad for her good adjustment to the new surrounding. Probably it had been good for her too to come here where she was forced to be around new people and kids of her age and older, back in Konoha she was taken care by mother and my friends and even when I knew she was fine and happy I knew that this was another place and circumstance where she could share time with children, something she rarely did in our village besides the moments she was with Asuma-chan, the son of Kurenai-sensei and the deceased and well remembered Asuma-sensei. I wondered if the third member of our unique family was having such luck as me and Miyu while I was walking to home with my little girl in arms. The sunset was going to come in some hours. I frowned thoughtful pondering about Sasuke's mood about the moving. Was he adjusting to it like we had done it? Had I done wrong forcing him to come? Was I selfish? Was that the reason he was acting colder and distant with me more than his usual self?
With the pass of days and the adjustment of our life in Suna I was sure about some things that had worried me since days ago and I hadn't wanted to really believe or give enough importance to talk about. The only things that were totally fine and working perfectly was my job at the hospital and performing the mission Tsunade-sama had asked of me and how satisfied, realized and happy I felt doing it and of course, my family's changed life. Miyu was utterly and sincerely blissful and had little friends and continued learning. Gladly I found out that Sasuke was adjusting too perfectly to his new life at least for a while here in Suna especially by Temari and Kankurou's commentaries about it. I noticed that Sasuke was indeed in his own way satisfied and happy performing the task Gaara had asked of him, after all I had been living with him under the same roof and I had known him from a long time ago and I had known him again after he had returned to Konoha and he stopped being a traitor and enemy. I could tell. But Temari and Kankurou's words about the missions they did were another way to find out that I was right when I was with him in home and I noticed that he was at ease here too and he didn't seem to mind like I had thought the moving. Because he wasn't overworked and stressed here like in Konoha by our Council he was getting better and on track about his health like before the Amaterasu's incident and I was very relieved and happy for it. I adjusted his treatment and I was attentive to any slight chance like always but everything was going fine in that matter. In those aspects of my life and world everything worked out fine and I was happy to see it. Even if I didn't see Sasuke in a day or two it wasn't the same tension and worry I suffered in our village when he was in a mission demanded by the Council. But there were things that now concerned me and I had been keeping quiet about it. They circled around Sasuke as always, around the indifference he was showing towards me more than ever when he was at home together with me. He wasn't rude or mean but I could tell the difference between his usual behavior and a sudden change and that increased too unfortunately when his health started to get better day by day. Now that he didn't need me as before he seemed to want to put distance between us more directly. That crushed my heart and made me cry whenever I pondered deeply about it making me feel stupid and hopeless even when I had expected something like this to happen some day. Anyway I promised to him that I was going to take care of him and be the best medic nin and nurse he could have. I don't know why I told him just that last night when we went to bed. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't understand how I let it hurt me when I had always known how things were going to be between us. I was glad that Miyu didn't notice in her innocent happy world but I was stunned at how it affected my mood and saddened me to tears when I knew I could do it better and stop feeling sorry for me.
I wondered about all this after I had taken a very relaxing bath and the day had been calm and cheerful and outside the sunset was marvelous and enchanting especially if you were staying in a village located in the middle of the desert. I tried to distract myself from my heartache remembering I had received mother's last reply to my letter earlier smiling happily and reminiscing about the last news of Konoha as I sat on the comfy mattress still wrapped on a soft towel brushing my wet pink hair. Suddenly the door opened and I turned to see who it was a little caught off guard and I found Sasuke standing at the doorframe watching back at me with his eternal calm expression. We stared back at the other till I was aware that I was the half naked one although I was wrapped on a towel but I didn't move or do something to cover myself more not finding point in doing it. We had been around the other totally naked and in more intimate moments to worry about something like this.
"You can use the bathroom now, I'm done."
I simply said smiling sheepishly and he nodded courteously with his frozen calm and then he came over to me sitting down on the edge of the bed while I was still there and feeling a little awkward but in the end relaxed. I felt hypnotized and paralyzed by the way he was looking at me furtively as I brushed my hair and it confused and startled me. It intrigued me what he wanted and why he was there with me in this precise moment and of course to my bad luck and romantic's heart I wasn't complaining about it.
"How was your day?"
I asked normally and with ease and used to be around him after spending days and nights under the same roof. He still had power over me to boil the blood inside my veins and raise my pulse and make my heart to beat faster against my chest and to put the annoying red on my face and especially cheeks and that I hoped never to change a bit the rest I had for life and I had forced and educated myself to avoid showing it to him in a more evident way wanting our relationship easy and calm. I had to do a lot of effort to not jump into him and kiss and hug him like my crazy soul demanded but I always managed it perfectly and I was getting used to stop thinking it possible. I had promised to myself and to him to not bother him with my unwanted feelings for him. Unluckily sometimes I couldn't help myself to stare at him furtively totally enchanted. To watch his delicious lips, his stunning eyes, his beautiful body.
"Mine was fine."
I could barely said feeling myself feeling awkward in uneasiness and hiding it the best I could and cursing myself as I got up and put the brush on its place and I decided to put some clothes on. Luckily I was wearing underwear already and I put the towel aside as I decided what to wear looking through our wardrobe. I watched him through the mirror a little shy in spite of the custom of us living together and dressing in front of the other but Sasuke seemed to not notice my blushing shame and he just nodded calmly with intense piercing look in response. I picked some clothes quiet and between calm and uneasiness I put them on the bed trying to ignore the fact that he was still there in his silence. Before I could put some of the clothes on he stopped me when slowly he reached out a little and I stared at him hypnotized and swept away by the deep blackness of those adored orbs. He stared back at me with his serious calm caressing my cheek with his thumb with slow movements and I watched him speechless and stunned not daring to flinch a bit away from his touching and this special moment. Why he was acting like this? What feelings were hidden behind those onyx eyes of him and his intense looking fixed on me? What he was thinking? The surprising thing for me was that at the moment I realized that I didn't care any of the answers of those questions and I just felt the fervent and irresistible desire to kiss his wonderful lips a mere inches away from me. How much I love this young man, I thought finding myself just going in circles around that simple and sincere phrase and I didn't think when I dared to make my wish come true and leaning over him getting closer I cupped his face with my hands and I pulled him towards me closing my eyes slowly and finding quite amazing and shocking the way he didn't reject me and let me guide him as he closed his eyes too. Was I dreaming? Did I fall asleep while I was taking my warm and relaxing bath? Was he doped or something? My lips shut up my constantly crazy and unwavering questioning brain when they met his softly and tenderly and I kissed them tasting with slowness and softness and he took the hand he had used to touch and caress my cheek to the back of my head pressing there softly and kissing back with total will and devotion.
Definitely something weird was happening today. And the truth was that I gave a damn.
Soon we were trapped in the heated and sweet kissing and I felt his arms encircling my body and motioning me to sit down on his lap. I didn't lose time and I did it not wanting to stop kissing those lips. When I opened my eyes and I stopped the kissing I immediately started to take off his upper clothing with his own help and we resumed our sweet passionate kissing and our arms snaked quickly around the body of the other covering slowly and softly the warm skin and our hands left soft prints wherever they rested and caressed. We remained like that immersed in the hypnotizing kissing and enchanting caressing for a long moment while our panting breathed inside the quietness of the bathroom. I simply put myself on his care and passion (because I knew it wasn't entirely love) enjoying the strange moment without words between us till we needed to stop to breathe deeply. We were still holding the other while we caught our breath and I didn't want to spoil the moment with my endless wondering right now. I had showered him with my eternal love and he was embracing me protectively and softly and I wasn't dreaming that. We remained the same in the quietness not daring to go beyond that for different reasons and I knew that even not having sex this time had been more meaningful and more special from all the other times when we had been together like this. I knew it since the beginning. This simple kissing and touching had been even a lot more sincere and giving just to say different than other times and there had been something in the air definitely special and I had felt it and realized it. Sasuke had acted a little different from other times and it amazed me even when I couldn't exactly point the difference. The way he had been with me while he was kissing me touched my heart deeply for his care and his surrendering and when we had stopped and we remained sitting on our bed and he rested without any intervention of mine his face against the nape of my neck I was sure than ever that something had happened this time. I remained quiet and surprised wondering about it between confusion, happiness and concern, sat down on his lap now almost turned to the front while he hugged me. Luckily for me he couldn't see my face straightly and I put my hands of top of his breathing deeply and smiling inwardly still wondering about what had happened. Had he somehow put aside his guard for a moment? Why? Did he feel simply attracted like all the other times? Why should I have to worry when something like this had happened? I knew why: because for me it meant something very important and I wasn't sure if for him was the same. What about tomorrow? Would he act more openly with me like it had happened a while ago or would he retrieve to his distance? You made another mistake, Sakura. You shouldn't have trusted so easily, you'll be backfired again some day… enjoy it till it last because you don't know how long you'll have him like this…
I felt him resting his forehead against my shoulder and his arms tightened a little more. Somehow it seemed to me the first time that I felt him with his guard down like he had been after the Amaterasu's incident and like he was when he had hallucinated again after we got married and I stayed with him to calm and comfort him but this time he was in all his conscience and senses. Could it be that our staying here had somehow changed him deeper than I had guessed? My incessant thinking was stopped when we both heard Kankurou's yells calling for us from outside and Sasuke and I exchanged a quick glance knowing unfortunately for me that it was time to end this moment.
"Sakura! Sasuke!"
It was awkward to return to normalcy when something like this happened between us but I couldn't do anything more than got over it so Sasuke took a quick shower and dressed quickly like me wondering what was going on with Kankurou. While I put on my shoes rapidly and Sasuke finished putting on his upper clothing I listened to Miyu's voice chatting with the sand sibling cheerfully and I wondered why Temari hadn't been the one to bring her back from the hospital. Today Miyu had assisted to a birthday party of one of the older boys and she had been happy about it the last days. Temari usually was the one who took care of Miyu when Sasuke or I couldn't and strangely and lately she had been begging us to take care of her and buy her things. I entered into the kitchen followed closely by Sasuke where Kankurou was with Miyu talking and laughing. Our little girl clapped watching us coming over and she smiled kindly.
"Momma! Dada!"
"Hello sweetheart." I said kissing her forehead followed by Sasuke who did the same and took her in his arms while she giggled fascinated and he softened his expression. I looked at Kankurou who was staring strangely at us and I tried to not blush but I wasn't sure if I achieved it. Our friend cocked a mischievous eyebrow at me with a wink and I felt really embarrassed wanting Temari to be the one there and not him. "Hey Kankurou, what's up?" I said with normalcy trying to not look at him directly still ashamed. "Where's Temari? I thought she was going to bring Miyu home like always."
"Well, she was in fact but that obnoxious boyfriend of hers arrived early on the morning and to show her that I WASN'T A JEALOUS BROTHER like she thinks I told her that I would pick Miyu-chan instead of her and I would bring her home so she could talk and take a walk with that Nara boy."
Sasuke and I couldn't help to exchange a meaningful look of amuse and then roll our eyes watching Kankurou folding his arms over his chest with serious face talking like an annoying father instead of a brother. I wondered how Gaara reacted at this. I chuckled amused while Kankurou glared at me funnily and then he got up from the chair stretching his body.
"Anyway I came too to invite you to have dinner at our house. Gaara said that he wanted to have a dinner with the three of you and the Nara boy. We guessed you're dying to hear news about Konoha at first hand and we hadn't spent time all of us together either. In fact it's the first time that Nara boy will share time with us in a normal way."
Kankurou said thoughtfully scratching his head while Sasuke and I exchanged another amused look and he rolled his eyes and I giggled having fun and knowing how Gaara reacted at last. Man, this sounded to me like meet the parents instead of a normal dinner that of course, I wasn't going to let it pass. I couldn't help to grin all the way to the Kazekage's house while we followed Kankurou imagining Shikamaru's mood and face. Sure it was that he and Temari had started to date since a while ago but Gaara and Kankurou had never really taken an action like this one. I wondered why it was. Temari hadn't told me anything either and lately I didn't see her as often as I wanted because of my job and strangely I felt she was avoiding me. Probably I was imaging it. The two brothers used to bother her in their way about her relationship with the Nara boy but they never really meddle in it because she didn't let them, of course. When we arrived to the nice and big house of the sand siblings I was more surprised when I noticed that in fact Gaara seemed to be the one that had cooked the dinner and was in the kitchen finishing the preparations while he ordered to Kankurou to look for Temari to set the table.
"Where's she anyway?"
"She's in her room."
"Ok."
Kankurou left whistling a funny song and I approached Gaara who was to more surprise added wearing an apron and very focused in the dinner. Sasuke seemed to be very amused by the entire scene since Kankurou had come to our house and I could see the corners of his lips twitching comically while he was carrying a happy and smiling Miyu in arms. I grinned before talking to the leader of the village who right now looked like anything besides that title.
"Do you need help?"
"No, thank you, Sakura-san. Everything is ready."
"Alright."
Sasuke put Miyu in a special chair designed for children and when I was going to sit down too to wait for Kankurou and Temari I wondered where Shikamaru was. Was he precisely late in this special occasion? Suddenly we heard Kankurou screaming at the top of his lungs something like "Oh for the love of God, my eyes!" and Sasuke, Gaara and I exchanged confused and worried looks before they dashed immediately and quickly out of the room and I looked at Miyu concerned. She was curious about it but remained still and calm sitting down on her chair.
"Sweetie, stay here, alright? Mom and dad will come back soon."
"Yes, momma."
I nodded smiling proud at her and I went to where the yelling was heard first and I found Gaara, Sasuke and Kankurou standing outside Temari's bedroom and I approached noticing the amused expression of my husband and the shocked and embarrassed of Kankurou and the stunned and ashamed of Gaara. What was happening? I looked into the room curious and concerned and I found Temari and Shikamaru lying on the mattress barely covered by a tiny sheet embracing and staring back at the witnesses annoyed and paralyzed. I blushed embarrassed imagining what had happened and after a long awkward brief pause hell broke loose when Kankurou pointed at Shikamaru blushed and angered. Temari was blushing too but out of deep annoyance and she was frowning calm while her boyfriend was intensely calm and frowning annoyed.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS TEMARI?"
"Don't yell, Kankurou." She said like if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. "You saw it, so do you want me to explain?"
"OH SHUT UP!" He said shocking wildly his head very scandalized. "I'll need therapy after I caught you doing it with this excuse for a man!"
"Hey, I'm not"
"SHUT UP." Kankurou said to Shikamaru shaking in seemingly perturbation. Gaara was still speechless and staring at the couple like if his brain had turned off or something. "You should be embarrassed after I caught you banging at my sister totally naked the both of you! I'll have nightmares the rest of my life! The same Kazekage is here and he caught you too! You should be ashamed Nara boy! And you too, Temari!"
"Just calm down and shut up Kankurou. You should have knocked first!"
"I didn't know you were with him doing it! And besides you should have been getting ready to have dinner as Gaara said earlier! He killed himself in the kitchen to prepare a dinner for the Uchihas and this boyfriend of yours!"
"Oh my God, it was today?"
Temari asked scratching her head while Shikamaru rolled his eyes and was trying to cover himself more with the tiny sheet. For me it seemed that Sasuke was having a lot of fun but he somehow had remembered the precarious meaning of the scene and he turned around and went back to the kitchen. I couldn't help to chuckle and grin covering my face with a shaky hand.
"YES IT WAS TODAY!"
"DON'T YELL AT ME!"
Temari moved restlessly greatly annoyed and soon she was almost naked in front of her brothers if it wasn't for Shikamaru who quickly grabbed her from behind and covered her with the tiny sheet. I smiled out of complicity due to my friend's situation and somehow I noticed something out of place in the blond oldest sand sibling. I narrowed my eyes thoughtful with a little grin spreading all along my lips. Before I could order my thoughts inside my brain Gaara without saying anything blinked a couple of times totally serene and in character before turning around and walking back to the kitchen. Kankurou was still paralyzed in his spot blushing embarrassed. I cleared my throat after receiving an S.O.S from Temari's look.
"Come on; let them to get ready to have dinner. You need to set the table, anyway. You cannot leave everything in your little brother's hands."
I smiled between nervousness and amuse due to the awkward situation and I took Kankurou's arm pushing him gently but strongly towards the kitchen wondering what it was going to happen now. Well, I couldn't help to go back to that little reunion I had on Konoha when we had talked about Shikamaru and Temari's relationship. What a forecasting moment seemed right now.
Back at the kitchen Gaara had resumed to his activities like if nothing had happened and Sasuke remained playing with Miyu. Kankurou immediately started to set the table muttering indecipherable things still wearing a little frown after talking briefly with his younger brother while I decided to help Gaara with the dinner just to act normal and not staying now near Sasuke. The moment we had had previously burned my soul intensely and I was afraid I could break the pact we had done at our honeymoon. What else could happen besides the normal thing when two people who at least felt attracted towards the other clashed? I sighed inwardly remembering sadly the pressing of his lips against mine and my heart ached knowing I had almost slipped even if he had been the one who had started it. It wasn't just because I was the woman and I had all the right to stop it but because I was the one who was risking more in it and the one who was going to end more hurt if I got carried away like him. My musings thankfully were swept away when the annoyed couple entered at the kitchen and sat down at the table and the dinner started in embarrassing silence. I wondered if we had done well staying there when they had family issues to discuss. Gaara was the only one sat down at the head of the table while I was by his side followed by Sasuke and Miyu who was the only one happy and smiling thanks to her childhood and blessed ignorance of things. Kankurou, Temari and Shikamaru were sat down at Gaara's other side. The awkward moment went on till Kankurou cleared his throat after he and the Kazekage exchanged a meaningful look.
"I'm sorry for not knocking at the door."
He said with rigid and monotonous voice still watched by Gaara. Temari looked at him by the corner of his eyes somehow surprised and with a little glad grin.
"Thank you, Kankurou. You're excused. Don't do it again."
I chuckled inwardly watching the puppeteer master rolling his eyes still a little annoyed and embarrassed while we all ate the delicious things Gaara had prepared himself. I wondered if Temari was going to say anything else or Shikamaru perhaps after what I had noticed staring furtively at the couple with a little calm and happy smile. But surprisingly to everyone it was Gaara who talked now after a long silent and calmer pause.
"Now that the cat is out of the bag, I think it's time to ask you if you're going to marry or not, and if you're going to do it before the baby is born or you'll wait."
The red head leader's words made Kankurou and Temari to almost choke. I couldn't help to chuckle and I tried to hide it behind my napkin as I pretended to use it. By my side and watching him by the corner of my jade eyes I noticed that Sasuke was eating peacefully like if he wasn't taking part of the scene. Shikamaru just sighed calmly eating while Gaara stared at him and Temari with piercing emerald gaze. Miyu started clapping joyfully as the two elder sand siblings were coughing and drinking from their teas trying to recover from the unexpected words of his little brother.
"Baby, baby!"
Miyu giggled and Sasuke smirked with some sort of proud look still eating in his own world. I smiled at my two friends wondering how I hadn't noticed before till tonight about Temari's pregnancy. She looked with wide opened eyes at Gaara who continued eating peacefully and waiting for his answer.
"You knew…?" She asked as Kankurou was shocked and blinking trying to process the last news. "But… but… I thought that I could expect it from Kankurou but from you…!"
She seemed quite surprised and now calmer as she stared at Gaara who simply was drinking serenely from his tea. Kankurou sat down straight eating in some sort of hypnotizing state as his soon brother-in-law sighed tiredly rolling his eyes.
"I have known it since a long time ago." The Kazekage simply said like if it was nothing to Temari's surprise. "You shouldn't be surprised. You have always said that I'm an observer. You started to ask only to do paperwork and you acted strangely. You avoided all of us skillfully. I was just expecting you to say something. I thought I was doing right in giving you privacy. "
Temari nodded still a little surprised but then she smirked gladly and reached out placing a kiss on Gaara's cheek. Kankurou finally seemed to wake up from his reverie and sighing deeply looked at her by the corner of his eyes with a little serious frown.
"Anyway, Gaara is right." He said rolling his eyes and folding his arms over his chest. "I was sincere when I apologized about not knocking. And I guess this was going to happen sooner or later after the kind of relationship you seemed to have with Shikamaru." Temari cocked a questioning eyebrow setting her elbow on the table and placing her face on her hand staring with a triumphal smirk at her brother as Shikamaru muttered "I'm right here" annoyed. "It's just that I've never thought that day was going to come so soon."
He sighed again with dramatic attitude and I giggled watching Temari rolling her eyes and Gaara setting his unnerving green eyes on his future and soon brother-in-law in some kind of silent communication.
"Awww… is my little brother sad?"
Temari said chuckling and smirking amused as she wrapped her arm around the puppeteer master fondly and ruffled his hair causing him to look embarrassed and trying to get out from her bear hug. Kankurou tried to look serious and offended but it was obvious to anyone he was clearly amused by the situation.
"Stop it, Temari!"
"Just say it already! That you're sad and jealous because I'll go away and you'll miss me."
As the two sand siblings quarreled joyfully I looked at Shikamaru who was still staring at Gaara with some weird vibe going on between the both. Sasuke was enjoying himself looking like if he wasn't putting attention to the scene in front of him even if it was the other way around as Miyu clapped happily.
"So? For what I can guess, Temari is about four months far along, right?"
"You're right as I expected from an excellent medic nin."
I smiled brightly at Shikamaru wondering inwardly what Kankurou was asking now in loud voice still playing offended while he ate with shocked expression.
"Why you waited so long to say it? I'm almost uncle and I didn't know it!"
"Don't be foolish, Kankurou." Temari said folding her arms across her chest and rolling her eyes. "It's still long to come for the baby to be born. And anyway, we didn't want to be pushed around or rushed to do anything."
"EXCUSE ME for giving YOU the idea that I was going to push you around or rush you, but I'm wondering why you waited so long! I mean we all KNOW that sooner or later you both were going to marry! Were you waiting to tell us when the baby was ready to pop out?"
"Baby, baby!"
Miyu giggled and clapped once more as Sasuke was secretly smirking pretending to be courteous enough to not show interest in the issue of the sand family. I tried to behave even when I found the situation weirdly hilarious. I knew that Gaara and Kankurou weren't in fact upset or angered about the happy and kind of unexpected news. It was normal that probably the both or just one of them thought that the right thing was for Temari and Shikamaru to marry as soon as possible or maybe to first have married and later have children. The green eyed Kazekage was still staring silently with his piercing and intense look at Shikamaru while he rested his elbows on top of the table and crossed his hands. His chin was hidden behind the intertwined relaxed hands like if he was thinking hardly and deeply in something. I watched Shikamaru's forehead and I looked amused at a vein throbbing there. Temari and Kankurou were still quarreling and babbling.
"We'll get married in a month, anyway." Shikamaru's words after a released deep sigh silenced the sand older siblings and Temari turned at him with cocked questioning eyebrows and hinted surprise. "So, don't worry about it."
"If you're ready to be chained and devoted to me forever, then I guess is fine." The blond kunoichi said solemnly smirking at her future husband. This one frowned a little rolling his eyes. "By the other hand I don't like the idea of marrying being so fat."
"You're going to marry him! It wasn't really a good proposal but I'm not going to let my nephew or niece to be born without having this man taking responsibility."
It was the turn for Temari to roll her eyes annoyed after Kankurou had spoken so solemnly and almost raising his cup like if he was doing a toast. Gaara visibly was satisfied with Shikamaru's proposal and he stopped staring at him, something that obviously relaxed the Nara heir. We all then resumed our eating and drinking and I was very happy for Temari and Shikamaru's soon wedding remembering with my eternal bittersweet feeling my own months ago as I stared thoughtfully at my plate. Did something have changed since then?
"Momma"
"Yes, sweetie?"
I turned to my little girl with a big smile wondering what she wanted. Sasuke looked at her too attentively.
"Momma baby!"
She clapped and giggled happily as I blushed deeply red and Sasuke was out of his own body and mind for a moment. I heard a little embarrassed the chuckles of Kankurou and I watched furtively the smirks on Temari and Shikamaru's faces. Just Gaara, as usual, behaved with courtesy enough. I cleared my throat and smiled widely to Miyu not knowing what to tell her. And after remembering the romantic moment Sasuke and I had shared hours ago I forced myself to stand by our pact even when I couldn't face him right now fearing he could have read the foolish thoughts written all over my reddened face and he watched me straightly by the corner of his magnetic obsidian eyes.