Chapter 7:

For the last month Buffy had felt dead, empty, hollow inside. That terrible night when she had lost so much, her home, her sister Slayer, and the woman who meant so very much to her, kept repeating before her inner eyes over and over again. She saw herself fighting against Angelus and failing, the pure demon too strong to defeat. She saw Angela, battered and more dead than alive due to Angelus' beatings, but still strong enough to invoke the spell that merged her back together with the demon.

And then she had gone.

"I'm here, Buffy," Angela whispered into her ear, almost as if she knew exactly what Buffy was thinking. "I'm back."

Safely buried in her vampire friend's arms Buffy felt alive again for the first time since that night. The days between then and now seemed like a bad dream, a nightmare from which she had been unable to wake. In those few moments when the scenes from that final battle had not replayed themselves inside her head her imagination had gone into overdrive, showing her terrible pictures of Angela in hell, suffering endless torment because Buffy had been unable to stop her demon half from unleashing Akathler.

Now it was over, though. Angela was here, she was back.

"I thought I had lost you," Buffy whispered, finally finding the courage to look up into Angela's eyes, hoping that all of this would not turn out to be yet another dream that would fade the moment she believed it was real. Her eyes locked with Angela's dark brown ones and they stayed real.

"How ... when ...?"

She had so many questions, but at the same time she was oddly afraid to utter them. As if questioning this miracle in any way might take it away.

"I came back tonight," Angela said, smiling at her. "Just a few hours ago. Sorry, it took me a while to find you."

She took a step back, looking at Buffy from top to bottom as if she was searching for injuries. The large shirt Buffy wore had slipped over her shoulder a bit, exposing the spot where Angelus had stabbed her with his sword. There was no scar there, no sign that the skin had ever been broken, but still Angela's eyes rested on that spot for a moment, her face darkening as the memories assaulted her anew.

"Sorry," she repeated.

"You saved my life," Buffy told her, guessing her thoughts. "You saved everyone. There is nothing you have to be sorry for, Angela."

Buffy moved closer to hug her again, not wanting to let go of her, ever. For so long she had been confused about her feelings for her strange friend. At first it had been like having a big sister, someone to look out for her, someone with whom she could share everything, who would understand even those things that Willow and the gang could not.

Things had changed, though. Changed when it became evident that Angela was in love with her. If the thought of a woman loving her had been strange to Buffy things had only gotten stranger when she learned that said woman used to be a man. A male vampire cursed to suffer for his crimes against humanity, especially women.

For months she had tied her brain into knots about this, trying to figure out her feelings. She loved Angela, that much she knew, but she was not sure in what way. Like she loved Willow, her best friend? More than that? Just different? No matter how she had turned it things had not gotten any easier. Buffy certainly did not think about herself as gay, so knowing that Angela was really a man should have helped. Only it had not, because she simply could not imagine Angela as a man. Her feelings, whatever they meant, were for the Angela she knew, the female one.

One thing she did know, though. The day she had believed Angela lost forever it had torn her heart right out of her chest, leaving her cold and lifeless. A zombie had walked in her place for that long, long month. Now Angela was back and Buffy did not intend to ever let anything happen to her ever again, no matter what it took.

'Just remember I'll always love you.' Those had been Angela's final words to Buffy before she had walked through the portal into Hell. She had vanished before she could hear Buffy's answer.

"I love you, Angela," Buffy said, repeating her words from that night when she had cried in the arms of her Watcher. "Please don't leave me again!"

Angela looked down at her, stiffening. How long had she longed to hear these words from the Slayer's mouth? How long had she dreaded hearing them? She wanted to hear them, god knew she wanted that, but at the same time parts of her being refused to allow this precious girl to fall in love with something like her. A monster, a creature as messed up as she was. A man in a woman's body, a demon disguised in mortal flesh.

And now? Now that she knew she had never been a man, knew she was separate from the demon, even though they once again shared the same body? What now?

"I won't," she just said. It was the only thing she was certain of right now.

"Things will be okay now, right?" Buffy looked at her with rekindled hope in her eyes. "Everything's gonna turn out good."

Angela nodded. If she had anything to say about it nothing would ever cause Buffy pain again. Especially not herself.

They finally parted, which left Angela with only a second to catch her breath, figuratively speaking, before Willow jumped at her and gathered her into another crushing hug.

"You're back," the redhead stated several times. "I can't believe it."

"Happy to see you, too, Willow."

At first the relationship between Angela and Willow had been strained at best, as the redhead had been caught up in the fear that Angela would take Willow's place as Buffy's best friend. She had gotten over that, though, even before it had become common knowledge (among the Scooby Gang, at least) that Angela was not interested in becoming Buffy's best friend, but something else.

"And who are you?" Buffy's angry growl brought Angela out of her thoughts. "Why did you attack Angela?"

Buffy was staring daggers at the white-haired girl Angela had fought against but minutes earlier. The younger girl had not attacked her again, but seemed to hover somewhere between confusion and anger. She was returning Buffy's stare with interest.

"I'm Ashley," she said.

"She's the new Slayer," Willow added. "You know, when ... I mean ... Kendra ..."

"I know how it works, Willow," Buffy interrupted her in a sad voice.

"And you are Buffy, I'm told," Ashley still stared at the blonde in question. "The Slayer before Kendra."

"That's me, yes! You got a problem with that?"

Ashley threw a side glance at Angela that told Buffy all she needed to know.

"Don't even think about it," Buffy warned.

Angela sighed, not liking the hostility that seemed to be growing between Buffy and Ashley. To be precise she wanted nothing but to be alone with Buffy, though at the same time dreading that situation. She certainly did not want to deal with some kind of Slayer tussle, especially over her.

"You thought I was going to bite her," Angela addressed the younger Slayer. "That's why you attacked me."

"I saw a vampire leaning over a sleeping girl. What was I supposed to think?"

"I told her the story," Willow interjected. "She won't attack Angela again. Right?"

Ashley did not seem happy with the situation at all, but gave a brief nod. "I have to talk to my Watcher about this, but for now I guess we have a truce."

Angela just gave her a smile, not finding it necessary to remind the girl which of them would have been off worse if Buffy had not interrupted the battle. Truth be told she was rather scared of how easily she had lost control of the demon during that fight. Angelus might imprisoned inside her once more, but he was still close to the surface, battling for control. Even now she could hear his whispers in her ears, telling her exactly what he wanted to do with the three girls surrounding her right now.

Doing her best to ignore the demon's murmurs she turned to look at Buffy and Willow.

"We should probably pay a visit to Giles as well."

Buffy seemed anything but happy with that thought, but gave a nod. Angela locked eyes with her, silently promising that they would have all the time in the world to talk. Later.

"Give me a minute to change," Buffy told the others.

TO BE CONTINUED