Max wasn't sure how long she'd been on the back of Johnny's motorcycle, but "a while" didn't seem to cut it. They'd hit heavy traffic passing into Jersey, and then it was a lot of weaving between cars at top speed, Max squealing and Johnny laughing—or so she assumed, anyway. She hadn't been able to hear a damn thing since she put her helmet on, stomach full of McDonald's—the drive-thru crew got quite a surprise when Max and Johnny rolled through earlier in the day. He signed autographs as she stuffed her face with fries, and they both smiled for a few cellphone pictures before whizzing off to the freeway.
The sun was starting to set, and Johnny's engine had been revving down a countryside road for a short time now. To her left, Max could see bits and pieces of the coastline through the fall foliage, clusters of coloured leaves coating the ground, some trees devoid of any coverage. It had been quite some time since she'd seen a house, though there was no telling what was buried out here in the wooded area. After spending so much of her recent years in Manhattan, anything sparse and bare was a breath of fresh air, and she tried to take it all in as they zoomed along.
Her body was ready to call it quits, but her mind was alert as ever. Loki. She had to tell him she was sorry. She had to make things right before he left—he had to know how she really felt.
Every time her arms tightened around Johnny's midsection—primarily as a necessity, since she was struggling to hold on at this point—a surge of affection shot through her. He'd driven her to a different state because she was sad. Johnny Storm was full of surprises, apparently, and Max had decided that his friendship was one she ought to value more.
Just as she was finally starting to lose the feeling in her legs (the sensation in her hands had disappeared a long time ago), the bike burst forth from the thick treeline, bringing the pair out to a rocky coastline overlooking the Atlantic. Raised above the water, a surprisingly small structure sat on the edge of short cliff. Behind it lay a few greenhouses, and beyond that, just down a sandy slope, floated a dock with a dingy boat tied in place. Jane's lab wasn't quite the S.H.I.E.L.D.-Stark technological genius Max had expected. In fact, it looked more like a huge cottage than a lab, but she suspected Jane appreciated the small comforts.
After all, it was practically in the middle of nowhere, and that was probably what she wanted. If Max was in Jane's shoes, she would have chosen the most remote location as possible, considering the year she'd had. Hell, Max almost wanted to relocate somewhere remote. Being out of the city reminded her of just how claustrophobia Manhattan could be, how constricted she felt on a weekly basis.
Johnny revved the engine hard as he rolled to a stop. Just shy of a small moving van, he finally turned the motorcycle off, but Max still felt like her body was vibrating. It was then that she realized how numb everything was, and for a moment, she couldn't move a single muscle. She just sat there, phantom vibrations pulsing through her. A figure retreated from the back of the van, clunking down the metal ramp. Thor. She stared at his burly figure through the protective visor on her helmet, her eyes following him as he lingered for a moment to stare, then darted inside the building.
Johnny's voice was still muffled through the thick helmet, and she pulled the damn thing off with a grunt and tossed it on the ground.
"Careful," he laughed. She let out a louder groan, her ears aching.
"I feel like I can breathe again," she said, a distinctive whining quality to her voice. Arms hanging limply at her sides, she waited as Johnny clambered off the bike, then stretched weakly. "Everything hurts."
"Yeah, I probably should have prepared you for that…"
Her hands were cracked and dry and sore, and as she studied them, noting that they'd aged a hundred years in a few hours, she wanted nothing more than to go dunk them in the ocean.
But that would wait. Everything could wait. Within less than a minute, Loki was standing where Thor had been, stationary between the moving van and the door to the lab. A curtain fluttered in the window nearby, and she vaguely wondered if she'd have an audience for this. Whatever. She didn't care who saw. She couldn't look away from him. Her eyes watered, and she slammed a hand onto Johnny's arm, using him for support as she heaved her exhausted body off the motorcycle.
"You okay?"
"Fine," she muttered. Her thighs were sore, like she'd ridden a horse for two days straight, and her chapped hands stung as she stumbled toward Loki. He remained motionless for a moment, his eyes fixed on her while she staggered across the unpaved driveway. Then, as if coming back to himself, Loki strode toward her, his long strides cutting the distance between them swiftly. His expression was difficult to read, but not because he was stoic or neutral. No, as they drew closer to one another, she watched confusion, disbelief, happiness, and countless other emotions that made her weak in the knees sweep across his features.
As difficult as it was, she raised her arms, Johnny's leather jacket suddenly weighing as much as she did, and threw herself at him. She'd never jumped into a man's arms before, mostly because she'd been too tall for the men she'd dated. But Loki caught her and swept her up, her feet dangling above the ground as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt him press one hand to the back of her head, his face buried in the crook of her neck and shoulder, while his other arm trapped her against him. So solid. His grip on her pushed the breath right out of her lungs, but Max didn't care—she'd never care about that again.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, gulping down the fresh seaside air when his hold weakened—but only slightly. "I'm so, so sorry."
She murmured the words over and over again, tilting her head to the side to kiss whatever part of him she could reach. His hand tightened in her hair, his face nestling closer, and she swore she heard him take in an uneven breath.
When he finally set her down, he held her face between his hands, his forehead pressed to hers. His eyes were closed at first, clenched shut as if this moment pained him, and when they opened, she saw the faintest glimmer of a tear in his eye.
"Why are you here?" Max let out a weak laugh, then kissed him, her fingertips barely touching the underside of his chin. His hands slid back into her hair, holding her to him. In that moment, she could have died happy. When she pulled away, she saw him swallow heavily, the lump in his throat bobbing. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful to see you, but—"
"I didn't want that to be our goodbye," she told him, clutching at the front of his soft sweater. "It couldn't be… I was kicking myself for it."
"As was I."
"You didn't do anything wrong." He shook his head, his eyes closed tightly again, and she let her hands wander up to his neck. Her thumbs stroked his cool skin. "This isn't our goodbye… It's our see you later."
"Max…" The agony in his voice, so rich and deep that it gave her chills, made her want to cry. "I leave for Asgard in two days. I'll be gone…. A whole realm away."
"I don't care." Of course she cared. The thought of not seeing him every single day broke her heart, but the idea of never seeing him again ever brought forth a feeling so awful that she couldn't stand it. "People travel. Couples spend time apart."
"It isn't quite the same—"
"You'll just have to visit," she said, forcing her voice to overpower him. "Frequently. As soon as possible. As much as possible."
"I can hardly make promises like that."
She gulped down the lump of emotion in her throat, drew in a shaky breath, and then squared her shoulders.
"I promise to love you," she told him, and their eyes met unflinchingly, "whether you're here or not. Can you promise that too?"
His mouth opened, and she heard him exhale, felt the warm breath tickle her face.
"Yes," he whispered, so softly that she would have questioned him saying it had she not been watching his lips. "I promise."
"There we go." She sniffled, her lips peeling back into a grin. "All sorted then."
She knew it wouldn't be that easy. She knew in three days, after he'd disappeared, she'd want to curl up into a ball and cry just as much as she would have if they hadn't had this conversation. It wasn't going to be any easier—the pain of his absence wouldn't lessen now that she knew he loved her. But it was better this way—it had to be. Perhaps it would be harder. She could have left the Avengers Tower and tried to move on without Loki, without all of the chaos he'd brought into her life. Here, in that very moment, she'd thrown herself back in to the madness, but as he drew her in for another kiss, his arms coiling around her, she didn't regret it.
No regrets. She knew she'd feel every emotion on the spectrum once she saw him off, but the one thing she knew for certain was that there'd be no regrets this time.
His eyes drifted passed her once they broke apart, and she heard Johnny's voice grow louder as he approached.
"I just thought…" the man started dramatically, a hand on his heart. "We didn't get to say a proper goodbye—"
He laughed when Loki shoved at him forcefully—playfully—enough to send him careening off to the side. Loki's smile was infectious, and Johnny quickly left them to themselves, jogging toward the lab as soon as Darcy appeared in the doorway.
"Are you sure about this?" Loki sighed, as though he regretted posing the question.
She placed her hands on his chest, leaning in as her weary body begged for a soft surface to collapse on. "I don't know. I'm sure I love you."
"That's hardly the issue," he said with a soft chuckle. Max winced when his hands covered hers, and he pulled them up for inspection with a frown. "Your hands."
"I should have worn gloves." Even though it still hurt when he pressed his lips lightly to her skin, she appreciated the gesture all the same. "I also really need to pee."
Now that her body had stopped vibrating on its own accord, she was finally regaining some sensation—and a full bladder was definitely an unwelcome feeling.
"We can talk about this," she told him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, supporting her somewhat as they moved toward the lab. "Us… What's going to happen with us, the future, everything. I think we owe it to ourselves."
"We have been dancing around the issue, haven't we?"
"Classic me and you."
Loki gave her shoulder a squeeze. "So it would seem."
"I just… I know you're going," she said, and they paused before they reached the entryway, facing one another again. "I know it'll be lonely and I'll miss you, and maybe I'll be a little angry that I'm by myself, but I… The thought of never doesn't work for me when it comes to you." She gestured to the motorcycle. "I have a lot of thoughts… There was a lot of time to think today."
"I'd like to hear your thoughts," he told her gently, smoothing what was bound to be chaotic and horrible helmet-hair back against her head. "All of them. Good, bad… Every single one."
With a nod, Max clutched his hand and followed him into the lab, finally ready to have an honest talk with Loki. For once.
It was about damn time.
"So you guys kind of just go up in a big beam of light?"
"It's…" Loki heard Thor trail off behind him, obviously trying to find the most tactful way to answer Johnny's inquiry. "It's a little more complicated than that."
"That's basically what it looks like," Darcy insisted, and Loki wrapped his arm around Max's shoulders, smiling when her hand shot up to grip his. She stumbled over a rock, and he tightened his grip to keep her steady.
"So are you guys trying to perpetuate the idea that you're gods, or…?"
"If you met an average Asgardian, you'd hardly call us gods."
This was it: the day Loki had dreamt about for weeks now. In the end, he'd gotten everything he wanted—for the most part, anyway. He'd return to Asgard as a hero to Midgardians. Max had pledged her love to him, regardless of the realm. Thor embraced him as a brother, an equal, and promised him his old chambers upon their arrival. When he awoke that morning, he needed to pinch himself—almost to the point of drawing blood—to ensure he wasn't in some ridiculous dream.
Max's arrival two days prior had been a surprise, but it was a welcome one. In all honesty, after the way they'd parted, he'd made up his mind that he would never see her again. As much as it pained him, Loki had thought it would hurt them both more if he ever waltzed back into her life, and he had been resigned not to hurt her anymore. And then Johnny had rumbled up on his ridiculous vehicle, bringing with him a teeth-chattering Max, her hands cracked and almost bleeding. With a hesitant smile and a careful touch, she'd pulled him right back to her, and all they'd gone through that morning had been forgotten.
Although he'd been thrilled to see her, he couldn't offer her promises of eternal love and devotion—especially when she couldn't possibly understand what it meant to endure an eternity. Still, he heard her out. Once she had refreshed herself, they'd disappeared into the miniscule guest room, with its tiny bed and nonexistent floor space, to discuss what the future meant for them.
If he had to choose between keeping her love and setting her free, Loki would have obviously chosen to keep her to himself. Unfortunately, growing into a better person meant taking the selfless road, and he'd tried multiple times during their conversation to tell her that she could be alone for years waiting for him. He had no guarantees. He had no promises—how could he? The other Realms were at war with Asgard, and he was determined to prove his worth to the warrior race by fighting for peace.
He couldn't make promises of a future when there was nothing but war waiting for him.
Max had said she understood. As they sat next to one another on that pitiful excuse for a bed, she'd held his hand and told him she was willing to wait.
"You think my life needs to revolve around a relationship?" she'd asked, her eyebrows shooting up and a smile tugging at her lips. "I have plans for myself, you know… I have a career to build, and family to rebuild. My goddaughter is going to be born anytime now… You are not the center of my universe."
At the time, he'd grinned and kissed her, not saying what he wanted to. There would be very few chances for him to communicate with her while he was gone—he assumed Odin had closed his few secret channels to Earth, if the old man had discovered them in Loki's absence. It was exhausting traveling between the realms: he couldn't pop down for a weekend and then head back for battle on the Monday. But she had been so happy talking about his return—he couldn't bring himself to shatter her again. Of course he would come back to her the second he was able to, but years could have rolled on by then. She'd grow lonely, frustrated. She might curse him and his name. She might grow to hate him.
It was a depressing thought.
But she'd fought for him. Even after they'd hashed out all the potential problems, Max had fought for him, for his love, and he'd succumbed to her willingly. He wasn't sure where this fight within her had come from: it certainly hadn't been there this past week. No matter. He had been glad to see her passion—those he loved seldom fought so zealously for him.
Yesterday, while the others explored the frigid coastline, they'd lain together in that tiny bed beneath a thin blanket, naked bodies entwined. He'd wanted to give her something to remember him by, something she could keep with her always, and they'd eventually settled on jewellery. She wasn't one to adorn herself in fineries or pointless baubles, but she told him she'd wear a ring. The first one he'd designed for her was dripping in gemstones—he thought she deserved riches.
"There's no way I can walk around Manhattan with this on my finger," she'd giggled, holding it up for them both to admire on her long digit. "I'll be mugged in two seconds."
So he'd altered it, turning the stones into a smooth, simplistic silver band. Engraved on the inside, much to her delight, were the words she'd said when she first came to him: see you soon. It wasn't a common phrase on Asgard, but it seemed to hold meaning to Max. She slipped the gift on a finger on her right hand, insisting the left held too much meaning.
Little did she know Asgardian's wore their promise rings on their right hands—a detail he'd kept to himself.
"So I guess I won't know you're okay until I see you again, huh?"
He glanced down at her, distracted by the smallness of her voice, and then smiled.
"I suspect you'll know, whether you see me or not," he told her. "I could enchant the ring for you… Make it glow when I'm in dire circumstances."
"No thanks." She held her right hand up, the silver band set firmly on her finger. "I'd rather just hope for the best."
This morning had been far different from the last time they'd thought they were spending their final hour together. Max had been full of smiles and laughter, holding his hand and engaging with the others over breakfast. Talkative. Outgoing. She acted like she'd see him tomorrow, as if his absence would be temporary, and Loki greatly preferred this version of her over the other.
"You know I'll return to you as soon as I have a moment," he continued, stopping when Thor said that this was the location. They'd come to the water's edge, and he suspected Heimdall would collect them from the elevated patch of earth just ahead. "Max, you know that?"
"Of course." She stared straight ahead for a moment, her eyes watery, but they cleared when she blinked and looked up at him. "I trust you."
Gentle waves lapped at the shoreline, dragging with them shells and foam, taking with them the rocky beach. He'd wrapped Max in a thick outer layer before they left, since she hadn't packed well for the journey, and he liked the way the chilly air made her cheeks red.
Over his shoulder, the others were bidding farewell to Thor. Nibbling her lower lip, Max stepped in front of him and took his hands. "This isn't goodbye."
"No." He smoothed his thumbs over the rough skin atop her hands, the flesh still battered from the biting wind two days prior. "No it's not."
Their kiss was quite tame. There was no need for an outburst of passion, a declaration of love. He preferred the subdued display, her hands jumping up to cup his face as their lips pressed together. Loki had no desire to release her—not now, not ever. He did so, however, when he heard Thor's heavy footfalls in the sand. Her eyes glistened, but her cheeks weren't stained with tears. Shooting him a small smile, she stepped away to give Thor a hug, which he seemed taken aback by.
Johnny was the only one of the group Loki paid a proper farewell to. They shook hands, and he let out a shocked grunt when the man threw an arm around him and slapped his back.
"Be seeing you, man."
"Look after her," he muttered, returning Johnny's backslap with a milder version of his own. "You're a good man, Johnny Storm."
"Thanks." Their gaze met briefly before Johnny looked away, his face slightly flushed. "You too."
Loki grinned, then gave a cordial nod to Jane and Darcy. Neither woman had particularly grown on him in the time that they knew one another, but he didn't despise them as much as he despised the general public. They seemed to accept the fact that he wasn't one to hug, offering a few words of farewell instead—pleasantries with no real substance, nothing more.
Following Thor toward the little hill, he paused briefly to kiss Max one last time, holding her harder, his eyes open just enough to see her. She smiled when they pulled apart, and he had to force his feet to move through the sandy terrain. Unwilling to turn his back on her, he walked backward, holding her gaze until Thor touched his shoulder.
"Ready for home, brother?"
He gave a slight nod. "Yes."
Johnny wrapped an arm around Max's shoulders, just as she wrapped her arms around herself. Even with the distance between them, he could see her eyes watering again, and this time he noticed the tears running down her cheeks. But she still smiled.
When he felt the pull of the bifrost, as Heimdall's magic wrapped around them, he still watched her. Max's face lit up, as did Jane's, at the sight of the colours, the swirling smoke-like texture engulfing him and Thor.
"See you soon," she mouthed, holding up a hand and waving. He raised his hand to match hers, ready to mouth back that he loved her.
It was then that he was pulled away, Earth and all its problems vanishing from his eyes. She disappeared with all the rest of them, replaced by blinding light and a tight sensation that dragged the air from his lungs. Then, as quickly as it had started, it stopped, his feet falling heavily to the golden floors of Heimdall's domain. His knees hit the ground shortly after, and he placed a hand on the glittering surface to steady himself.
"My princes," Heimdall's deep, impossibly baritone voice rumbled through the fog of his mind. "Welcome back to Asgard."
Soft footsteps padded toward him, and he looked up, breathing heavily. Frigga. She strode for him, her eyes as misty as Max's had been, and fell to the ground to hold him.
"Loki," she whispered. Her graceful hands smoothed up his arms, over his shoulders, to cradle his cheeks. The depths of her gaze drew him in, blocking out Odin's greeting for Thor. "My boy…"
Loki closed his eyes, overwhelmed, and bowed his head into his mother's hands.
Home at last.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Guyssssss the Loki/Frigga feels kiiiillll meeeeeee. The chapter was originally supposed to end with Loki and Thor disappearing into the pull of Heimdall's magic, but I added Loki and Frigga's reunion last minute because WHY NOT I'M EMOTIONAL.
I almost felt a little sappy writing this chapter. As you know, I seldom write declarations of love like this, because I'm awkward and I feel like those interactions are weird in real life, but it was finally time for these two to lay their hearts on the line. I think Loki has a better grasp of the situation than Max does: we all saw how sad Jane was after Thor left for two years in the movies, so I don't think Max quite grasps what it's going to be like. Short-term thinking… we all do it.
While this is technically the last chapter in the story, there is still the epilogue to come. Just like The Sky is Falling, I'm going to post the epilogue to this story and the prologue to The Long Winter at the same time. I'm also going to start writing them RIGHT AWAY. Like. This week I'll begin clacking away at them. They'll probably be similar in length to this chapter, so it won't be too much to work them into my schedule. As soon as I finish them, I'm posting it.
This chapter may have felt a little rushed, but I suspect you guys, like me, are ready to move on to new things—aka the sequel. I didn't want to bog this down with tons of conversations, because I know I personally skim-read stuff I'm excited for to get to the conclusion. So. There you have it.
LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks for sticking it through with me with all the ups and downs this story had, and I'll do a final mushy farewell in the epilogue… and then an excited OMG GUYS SEQUEL author's note for the prologue of The Long Winter. Dunno why. It's not like I'm saying bye. IT'S SEE YOU SOON IN THE NEW STORY JUST LIKE LOKI AND MAX SEE YOU SOON AHHHH.
Ahem. Anyway. Happy November, everyone! See you sooooooon with the epilogue and prologue!