Canon vs Fanon (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: Because sometimes the fandom needs to be reminded what canon is actually like...

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: This is making use of my America and Canada in the comparison (as the 'canon' characters, although I will admit they aren't completely true to canon). If you want to know more, check out my stories!

((Human names are (my) canon chars, Nation names are fanon chars.))

Part the Third: I've Accepted I Will Never Drop This Idea

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Alfred levelled a flat look at Matthew, who at the moment was flushed in embarrassment.

"I told you the engine would overload."

"I know."

"But you still turned it on?"

"It was an accident!"

Alfred sighed, laughing a little. "At least it just sent us somewhere instead of blowing us up into a million itty bits. You're the one explaining to Tony though."

Matthew groaned. "Fiiiiine…"

The American looked around, recognizing the familiar layout of the neighborhood his New York apartment was on. "Looks like we're close to my place. You wanna wander a bit or head straight there?"

"Either way we'll probably run into ourselves, so let's just get it over with."

Alfred tilted his head back thoughtfully. "Actually, we should make a fast pit stop along the way - there's this new Vietnamese takeout place I wanted to try, and I figure it shouldn't be any different here."

"We don't know what year it is, though," Matthew pointed out. "It might not be there yet if it's a few months or years behind us."

"Damn, true…" The American frowned. "Ah well, if it's not there, it's not there."

"Uh…" The two blinked, turning to see one of the people they'd just been discussing watching them with a mixture of confusion and wariness.

"Well that solves that issue, at least," Alfred muttered as an aside to his brother, extending out a hand for America(? was this possibly a human?) "Heyas, I'm Alfred F. Jones, and this is my less attractive twin Mattie."

"Hey!"

"-and we're here because Mattie decided to try murdering me by blowing up one of the experimental engines in Tony's lab-"

Matthew smacked his brother's shoulder. "It was an accident, you asshole!"

"-you see, he's out for my blood!" Alfred dramatically flinched away, barely suppressing a grin. "So yeah, we're sorta visiting from another universe, and I could explain the science behind it but it's kinda long and convoluted so yeah."

America blinked once, twice, trying to process, before shaking his head. "You get to mess with Tony's stuff?"

"Why does everyone ask that first when I mention it?" Alfred asked no one.

"Probably because they're shocked our Tony hasn't caught on that letting you near anything leads to headaches and chaos?"

"Says the guy who tried to blow me up."

Matthew just groaned.

Turning back to America, the visiting Nation laughed. "Yeah, I get to help him out sometimes with his experiments or whatever. Mattie and I have gotten around a lot in the past couple decades thanks to stuff like this; I'm starting to think it's on purpose - I wouldn't put it past him."

America looked to Matthew, who shrugged in response. "I wouldn't put it past him, either. By the way, are you a girl?"

The home Nation rapidly paled. "Dude, why'd you even think that?"

"Your face is just a bit softer than Al's, and you're a bit shorter and smaller than him. You sort of remind me of Eleanor when we stopped in on that mirrorverse where all the others were girls."

Alfred blinked, peering close. "I don't see it - how can you even tell?"

Matthew shrugged. "I'm the one who has to see you everyday - I just sort of notice these things. Plus there's the makeup right along the jaw to make it look more angular than it is."

"-Oh, now I see it! Damn, that's impressive." Alfred whistled. "Still, trans maybe."

"I know," Matthew rolled his eyes. "I was just curious which it was."

America's lips were pressed together in a thin line. "Don't go around shouting it to the sky, but yeah, I'm female. I'm just a guy around the others because, well-" Her hands gestured vaguely around them.

"No shocker there," Alfred's smile was wry. "Neither of us are gonna say anything, don't worry. Probably won't be here more than a day or three anyways."

Matthew hummed. "So how'd you hide from Arthur as a kid then?"

America shrugged. "He wasn't around a lot when I growing up, and when he did I still took care of my own baths and stuff. He might suspect though, I'm not sure, he's never pushed anything."

"Ah," The Canadian nodded. "Then do you have another name, or do you just consider yourself 'Alfred', then?"

"I… haven't really thought much about having a different name." America shrugged. "I've been considering a few things, like Amelia or Emily, for when I finally come out to the others, but that's a while off. Still, Eleanor… that doesn't sound too bad either."

"The only advice I can give is to make sure you have a camera when you do," Alfred offered. "Because you know at least a few reactions are gonna be worth it."

America chuckled a bit at that. "I'll try to remember that."

"Oh! And try to be careful for the next little while - if your guys are anything like ours, they're gonna get a bit friendly soon-"

"Say no more," America interrupted. "I've already had to deal with a few phases like that, so I know how to deal."

"Sweet."

Matthew interrupted with a cough. "Uh, I know you're having fun making jabs at the others, but we might want to abscond before the other notice us."

His finger directed the two Americas' attention down the street, where a few familiar faces were idly chatting, not noticing any of the three.

"Right, who's up for Vietnamese? There's a new place just down the street I've wanted to try for a while." America offered, pointedly turning away from the approaching group like it was unrelated to the sudden decision.

Alfred grinned. "That's just what I was thinking. C'mon Mattie!"

"It'd better be good…" Matthew followed after, occasionally glancing behind just to make certain they hadn't been noticed.

Thankfully, they hadn't, making lunch a much less awkward affair. Well, considering, anyways.

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AN: I've taken a liking to this dumb little drabble series, haven't I? I guess the idea of Matthew and Alfred just being so casual about the whole affair is amusing to me. I'm still baffled that the traded!Matthews bunny was so popular.

Anyways, this one should be fairly obvious as to what I'm poking at, though this isn't mocking really, just acknowledging. And yes, I could have gone other ways with Alt!America, I just went with the most common.