C is for Child
She was alone when the pain started. She had been alone for the past nine months; ever since she left the company of the Warden. It had been an arduous journey from the start, but even more so as her time drew close. Five days ago she found this spot; a secluded glade with a warm, shallow spring, far from any known settlement. Since her feet were swollen, her back ached as if she was carrying the whole world, and her magic had gone completely haywire, she decided that this was a respectable place to rest for a spell. She read a lot and studied. There were things happening in the world, dangerous things, and she needed to prepare for them. Then this morning the first lance of pain hit and she realized that for a time, the rest of the world would have to wait.
The intensity of the first contraction surprised her. Oh she knew that pain was a part of childbirth; she'd studied the books, seen the birth of wild animals, but for once her preperations seemed to be wholly inadequate. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt fearful of what was to come and wondered if perhaps her choice to stay away from other humans was the wrong one. The wave passed, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She knew it was just the beginning, however, and there was much to be done.
First thing first, she built a fire big enough to last for hours; at this point she had no idea how long it would take. It was a slow process, hindered by her own mass and the contractions that hit periodically and painfully. With the fire at a satisfactory level, she set out a kettle of tea to steep, and a pot filled with tools and water to boil. Lastly, she laid out the clean linens she had saved specifically for this purpose. With those tasks accomplished, she took off her loose robe and sat down to meditate. It seemed to help; she noticed the ebb and flow, but the crippling agony was muted into something she could handle. She slipped deeper and deeper; not quite, but almost touching the Fade.
Suddenly a new contraction ripped through her, strong enough to throw her out of her trance. She looked up in the sky; it was well past midday; she had been meditating a surprisingly long time. She gingerly got to her feet when another contraction hit and she doubled over in pain, gasping. Breathe, she had to remember to breathe. Another wave of pain; they were coming faster now and much harder. There was no way she was going to be able to go back into trance - if the frequency of the contractions was any indication, she didn't have much time.
The kettle of tea was by her hand – she had thought that far at least – and it was an herbal mixture, designed to help ease cramps. She poured it into a tin cup and drained it. The warm liquid felt wonderful going down her throat, but the next stab of pain proved that the tea itself was not having much effect; she had waited too long, and took the tea too late. Or maybe it just wasn't effective. She lifted her head, gasping, and her eyes fell upon the spring; sun-warmed, clear, and inviting. Slowly, she forced herself to crawl towards the water; it took almost every ounce of strength she had but when she finally flopped down and let the warmth envelope her swollen belly, it was worth it. And it was just in time too, for she could feel the tightness in her abdomen that presaged a fresh round of agony.
But this contraction failed to end as the other ones had; though the water soothed her pain to a large degree, she could feel it rise and rise. She lost control; a wailing sound echoed around her, a product of her own throat. Her own body was betraying her in ways she never thought possible. Tears were streaming down her face while the only coherent part of her mind said 'push'.
Push she did and screamed profanities to the empty glade; she cursed Alistair for getting her with child, she cursed Faleni for convincing him to do so, and above all she cursed the mother for giving her this task and not preparing her for it in the least. She yelled until she was hoarse, and the salt of her tears tainted the waters of the spring. As her body tore itself apart and threatened to overwhelm her reason completely, she bore down once more.
Then, in a rush, it was over. The ripping, red-hot knife pain was gone. She reveled in her relief for only a split second, then reached down into the water. Her hands immediately found her child, and with the last of her strength, introduced the baby to the air amidst a fountaining spray. It was a boy. Her child, her son, born with the soul of an Old God, took it's first breath in the setting sun and started to cry.
Some time later, when both of them were clean and dry and the babe was dozing softly on her chest, Morrigan thought back to her mother. When Flemeth pictured the soul of an Old God, did she see a tiny human with blue eyes and tufts of dark hair? Did she see a boy who sucked on his mother's teat like a bear cub? Did she see an innocent? Somehow, Morrigan thought not. She stroked her son's downy hair with a loving finger. Love. Her mother always told her that love wasn't real, and she'd believed her. She even fought with Faleni about it. But it seemed that the Warden was right; this felt real. Morrigan laughed softly. Faleni would love to have finally won an argument.
She looked down her baby. He needed a name. In all the time she'd spent carrying him, she'd never really thought about. But names held power. Flemeth would mostly likely name him after the Old God who's soul he held – Urthemiel. The father – and she couldn't believe she was even considering what Alistair would do – would probably name him after someone terribly noble and idiotic. But what would she do? She smiled. To the victor goes the spoils. It was only fitting, since the elf was responsible for the child's soul, and she knew exactly what Faleni would want the child to be named. Fen. Dalish for wolf. Her wolf, her son. Morrigan hugged Fen closer to breast. She wasn't alone anymore.
A/N: Crikey, this was a difficult one to write, much harder than I first imagined. I meant for this to be done three days ago. There was a time when I thought I should just throw this out, and write something else for C, but I realized that I really wanted to challenge myself, and tell this part of the story.