Canon vs Fanon (Hetalia)
Author: Ashynarr
Summary: Because sometimes the fandom needs to be reminded what canon is actually like...
Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.
Warning: This is making use of my America and Canada in the comparison (as the 'canon' characters, although I will admit they aren't completely true to canon). If you want to know more, check out my stories!
((Human names are (my) canon chars, Nation names are fanon chars.))
Part the Fifth: My Randomizer Loves This Collection Apparently
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"Hey, Matt?" Alfred asked, tone distant.
"Yes, Al?" His brother replied, distracted by the same scene inside the meeting room they'd appeared outside of.
"Is that me arguing with Erika in there?"
"Yes, yes it is." The Canadian nodded slowly.
"And is that you trying to get Arthur's shirt off while Basch is holding you back and Art is waving a flag in self-defence?"
Matthew sighed and closed his eyes to the scene. "Yes, it is, unfortunately."
The American nodded slowly, thinking hard. If there was anyone who could skydive to the correct (if bizarre) explanation for what was happening inside, it was probably Alfred, the northern Nation conceded internally.
"Right, so this is probably Arthur's fault, because it pretty much always is unless it's Tony's fault." Alfred took a few steps back to count off his points on a hand. "And I'm going to give it a ninety percent chance it's a bodyswap, cause if it were just personalities I don't think you'd be trying to undress Artie no matter how much of a daddy's boy you are in this universe-"
"Rude."
"Hey, I know you remember that world just fine, considering you got drunk off your ass afterwards and couldn't look Art in the face for like a month."
Matthew made a face. "Please don't remind me - I just finished burying those memories."
"Anyways-" Alfred gave his twin a pointed look. "-I think if we find out which one is Arthur, we can nab him, get him to tell us which spell he used or mucked up or whatever, and then we can sorta piecemeal together a fix for these guys before we go."
"Ulgh, clean up an alternate's mess again?" The Canadian's nose scrunched. "Why are we always stuck doing that?"
"You're honestly asking me that?" The southern Nation grinned, a laugh just barely being held back.
Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Your unending hero complex doesn't explain Tortebego."
"What do you want to do, then?" Alfred shot back, ignoring his brother's comment.
"I want to catch that hockey game we're going to miss back home because you decided you wanted to see what happened when you pressed the purple buttons on the death ray."
"Are we sure it's the same day?" The American wondered.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's yesterday, since that's the date on my phone right now, but that just means I still have time to get tickets, even if I have to use my Nation status to cheat my way to good seats."
Alfred sighed. "You know, we could just use your invisibility to sneak in and not have to spend cash."
"But then there's a chance we won't get front row seats, and I refuse to stand in the back. Not to mention you know my invisibility never works when I'm at a hockey match." Matthew pointed out, crossing his arms
"Point." The southern Nation shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, we'll leave them alone to fix their own problems for once."
"Thank you," Matthew sighed. "Really, you think you'd be tired of solving the world's problems by now."
"Dealing with the other Nations and their stuff is easy - dealing with my politicians is like trying to pull teeth with a rattlesnake."
The Canadian raised an eyebrow at his brother before deciding not to even bother asking, turning to head down the hall towards the exit before pausing with a confused expression.
"Mattie?" Alfred asked, before turning to look and shrieking in fear. "Commie ghosts!"
"I'm not a ghost," Russia sighed, such a put-out expression on his face that Matthew instantly was able to figure out what was going on.
"Alfred, it's just alternate me. Apparently I got stuck as Ivan through the bodyswap thing you were mentioning."
"...not a commie ghost?" Alfred asked, peering out from behind his brother suspiciously.
"Not a commie ghost." Both Canadas confirmed, a mutual understanding passing between them.
"Right!" The American unretreated from behind his twin, beaming like the last minute hadn't just happened. "Sorry about that, other Mattie! You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"
"I didn't sneak up on you," Russia-Mattie replied. "You just were too busy arguing about whether you were going to get involved in all this… not that I can blame you for avoiding it."
"It's just been too long a month for me to really want to do anything about something this harmless," Matthew replied. "Plus I really want to see this match."
"I still have tickets at my place if you want to share them," The other Canada offered. "I think America and Prussia are going to be a bit too busy to bother, and I still want to go even though I'm stuck like this right now."
"Seriously, you Canucks and your priorities." Alfred shook his head in wonder, looking to the sky as if searching for deep answers. "Is there anything you guys think about other than moose, hockey, and maple syrup?"
"Are you honestly asking me that?" Matthew echoed his twins words from earlier, grinning in amusement.
Russia-Mattie shook his head with a similar grin that looked almost out of place on his current face. "Let's just go before the others notice you two, alright? I don't feel like explaining any of this, and I'm not even sure what questions to ask."
"Trust me, no one ever does." Matthew sympathized, following his alternate down the hall while Alfred trailed behind them both.
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AN: Hetalia fandom secret: Ivan once convinced Alfred the ghosts of stalin and lenin would come back in 2012 to possess him and take over his country
Alfred spent most of the year in a specialized anti-ghost suit designed by Tony, even to meetings, just because the only things worse than ghosts or communists are communist ghosts