Shadows and Fangs
Chapter 32
Ever since they'd returned to Suna from their break in Konoha, it was sometimes difficult for Kiba to face Temari while knowing he might leave; he more than once contemplated telling her, but then he figured he might be making a mountain out of a mole-hill, and he should just wait and see. There was no good answer, in his mind. Plus despite the fact that he did have Anko's promise in writing – it had either a red stain of questionable origin or a lipstick mark next to her name, and he honestly wasn't sure which was creepier – he wasn't 100% ready to put all his faith in her just yet.
And yet a month later, Konoha's HQ transmitted that a captain position would open up – with Maki calling him to cheerfully add that they already had 'someone in mind, wink-wink, nudge-nudge', which, as Kiba understood it, was a clear message from Anko that she'd kept her word.
Really, a job posting shouldn't ever have been so ominous, in Kiba's opinion.
And of course, it figured that he finished early while Shikamaru was working late that day, leaving him to turn the idea around in his head on his own!
He still managed to fall asleep waiting for him, although he snapped out of it when the front door opened and closed. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up on the couch to look at his husband, yawning for good measure. "Busy day?"
"Yeah – worst part is, I don't even know why," Shikamaru assured him as he yawned as well, easily influenced man that he was – at least when it came to that area. "Were you waiting for me?" he asked him with a raised eyebrow as he reached to run a hand through his hair.
"Mmh," Kiba confirmed as he pulled him closer to bury his face in his stomach. "Gh coll mh ki day," he mumbled against him.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at this. "I'd like to say that sounds fascinating, but I actually have no idea what you just said," he admitted.
The tracker pulled back to look up at him with a grin, and pulled him down to share a proper kiss before repeating, "I got a call from Maki today."
Shikamaru immediately connected the dots. "So is it happening for real?" he asked him, half-surprised as he hadn't been entirely certain Anko wasn't just talking smack.
"Oh, it's real alright – we received the official job opening notice at the HQ right before I got her call," Kiba replied with a huff as he let himself fall back on the couch, arms crossed over his chest.
"So what do we do now?" Shikamaru asked him with a raised eyebrow as he looked at him in amusement.
Kiba pushed himself up on his elbows and frowned slightly as he looked at him. Opening and closing his mouth once, he finally said, "Let's go back home?"
Shikamaru held his look and then huffed in amusement. "Good thing Gaara's in a good mood!"
Kiba laughed and then sat up straighter as something in his tone made him realize it wasn't just a figure of speech. "Did something happen?"
The shadow-nin raised an eyebrow at this. "Not specifically, but Kankuro told me that Darami actually stayed for breakfast, this morning," Shikamaru informed him with a grin. "Temari was at Sojiro's, that's probably why she didn't tell you," he then added with a shrug.
"Wow…I guess in Gaara-Darami terms that means marriage on the horizon!" Kiba joked with an amused laugh at this, having to admit that sometimes just thinking about these two holding a romantically inclined conversation almost made his sides hurt. But they worked remarkably well, somehow – probably because they likely didn't have romantically inclined conversations in the first place.
Shikamaru shrugged nonchalantly at this. "I have to admit, having both Gaara and Kankuro in successful relationships has made work considerably more agreeable at times."
"I have to find an excuse to visit the tower tomorrow…" Kiba muttered as this, he just had to see. Turning back to the shadow-nin, he took his hands in his and looked him in the eyes. "So, all jokes aside…we're doing this?"
"We're doing this," Shikamaru confirmed against his lips, as though it was that simple.
Then again, maybe it was.
In all honesty, Kiba wasn't stalling.
He really wasn't.
Inuzukas didn't stall. Ever.
…but he was a Nara now, and they were notorious stallers, so maybe he was stalling the slightest bit.
Avoiding someone, when their office is literally three steps away from yours, wasn't exactly an easy task – Kiba credited his shinobi training for his success during the morning.
But since he and Temari had their daily briefing in the afternoon, the avoidance had to come to an end, and he found himself surprisingly tranquil as he sat down on her desk as he'd somehow ended up doing regularly over the years.
He started going through the files as he normally would, even going for extremely casual. "And, last and definitely least on the list of our playmates' requests, the HQ in Kumo is asking about common allocated funds for forehead protectors," he concluded as he went over the last few items he needed to brief her on.
Temari, for her part, was not impressed with this appeal. "Tell them to stuff themselves and die a slow and painful death. Their own locally produced idiots are the ones depleting the stocks by breaking them left and right and changing the color according to the season and fashion – so they can handle the replacement costs on their own for once," she declared tiredly but very seriously.
"Tactfully inform them that our own funds have already been allocated elsewhere and put in a good word with the fabrics guild in Kusa for a better deal on the next order—got it," Kiba rephrased, completely unfazed, before moving on to the next topic.
"Up next, transfer requests – I've already authorized a couple; I'll just need your signature so it's all nice and official. I've split the rest into our usual categories—" 'sure', 'whatever' and 'thanks but no thanks', as they'd tacitly agreed on years ago, "—so it's up to you," he finished as he moved the non-negligible pile to her desk, managing to look completely uninterested.
Temari sighed a long-suffering sigh as she reached for the papers, affixing her signature on the first he'd already validated before pausing as she reached the second. "Kiba, this is your file," she noted suspiciously.
All ideas involving the 'playing dumb' card immediately vanished from his mind at her expression.
"It is," he confirmed as he held her look. "And I know we have to make the offer open to follow procedure, but I'd like to nominate Darami as my replacement. I've also put together a list of potential candidates for her own post – with two from Iwa," he added, explaining the folder's thickness. "Although we'll likely receive more applications from the other HQs."
"That doesn't tell me why you're asking me to approve your transfer request," she remarked him with a deep frown. To say that she hadn't worried at all when she'd seen that captain position opening in Konoha would be a lie, but she didn't really think that Kiba would apply.
"We always knew this day would come," he replied with a sigh.
Temari's frown deepened even more at his words. "You love doing this – being this! But even though there's an opening, they'll likely promote internally, so you're not even guaranteed to make captain in Konoha!" she reminded him. "You're a respected figure in Suna, but you've admitted it yourself that they treat you as comic relief over there!" she added, setting her pen down as though to stress that she refused to sign it.
"It's our home," Kiba said with a huff as he leaned against her desk, slightly annoyed that she was right on that point. Still, home was home, no matter what. "It's where we want to establish our family."
"You mean it's where Shikamaru wants to work," Temari corrected with a roll of her eyes. "Because being the Kazekage's assistant isn't the same as one day becoming the Hokage's assistant."
"It's not all on Shikamaru," Kiba tempered as he met her eyes again. "And I actually will get that captain post – Anko's guaranteed it to me in writing," he admitted, glad to get that one off his chest.
Temari visibly wasn't happy with this information. "You want to run that by me again?"
Kiba sighed at this, trying to think back on the dozen speeches he practiced in his mind for this particular talk. "Anko promised me that it would be mine if I wanted it – I even got her to put it in writing."
"So how long have you known that you were leaving?" Temari asked him coldly. "Was it since your visit to Konoha? Wow, Kiba…a full month – and you're only telling me now?"
"Temari…it wasn't like that," he insisted quietly, Akamaru looking glum by his side. "Until the position was openly advertised I didn't know it was a done deal! And seeing as we got the news yesterday, I think I'm being quick in letting you know. Besides, it's not until May, so we have plenty of time," he reasoned.
He'd always hated speaking in hypotheticals. What good would it have done to tell her he 'might' leave a month ago when nothing was sure?
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want to stay," she dared him as she stood to be at his level.
"Of course I want to stay!" Kiba started as he didn't look away. "And I'm glad you're fighting me on this, I really am. I love this village, and you're right: I love my job, and that's partly why I'm leaving."
Temari blinked in confusion at this, cocking her head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"I want to be the commander, not just the deputy," he informed her with a confident grin. And since after all the commander of each HQ was from that village, as things stood now he could only reach that goal in Konoha.
Temari just looked at him, frozen in place for a short moment before relaxing completely and laughing at the situation. "I should've known you were after my job all along!" she teased him easily as she slapped his shoulder.
Kiba grinned back at her and shrugged, resisting the urge to soothingly rub his stinging shoulder. "Well, I didn't want you to start keeping me at bay before I had enough time to learn all your trade secrets!" he teased back before shrugging his head towards the open folder. "So, are you going to sign it?"
"Yeah, yeah…and I don't care if the others aren't happy about it: I'm approving Darami's promotion, so you can tell her the job is hers – if she wants it, but that's another issue," the kunoichi added with a dismissive wave as she sat back down. "I can't deny I'd rather keep running this place with you, but I can't keep you back from doing your own thing," she said in the fond tone she usually reserved for her brothers. "Not to mention dealing with you instead of Anko in the future would be a significant improvement for my morale!"
He had to work really hard not to tear up at that, he really did – he was so proud of himself for staying strong.
"Kiba," she called him back before he could leave. "Did you say it's where you want to establish your family?" she asked him slowly.
Kiba looked to the side self-consciously and nodded. "Yeah…"
"Family – as in: more than just the two of you – children," Temari clarified, chuckling at his nod. "I didn't know that was the plan," she noted warmly.
"Not many people do—I mean, just Shino, and Hana and Aoba, because Kao overheard us and promptly babbled about it…well scratch that, now most of Konoha probably knows too, she's too young to understand the concept of keeping a secret!" the tracker started rambling nervously before clearing his throat to get himself back on track. "We haven't…really looked into the procedure yet though," he admitted. "Maybe it won't even be possible…" he added with a guarded shrug.
"I know you'll find a way," Temari replied with complete faith, grinning at his pleased hum. Okay, so she could understand it a bit better now…
It still took her more time than she cared to admit before she was really able to sign that paper.
She would kill Anko for stealing her deputy the next time they met – with any luck, it would even speed up Kiba's promotion…Win-win!
Over at the Kazekage's tower, Shikamaru's task was only marginally easier. Or not at all.
Forget it, he considered it harder – sometimes he still couldn't figure out what Gaara was thinking. "I hope you understand this decision is in no way a negative reflection of the way I feel about working with you," he said with a frown as the silence had stretched on a bit too much to his liking. "Both of you, actually," he added as his gaze flickered to Kankuro.
The puppeteer raised an eyebrow and then unexpectedly burst out laughing – with even Gaara allowing a small smile, to the Nara's surprise.
And then it clicked.
"You were playing me," he accused as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Hey, I was only following my Kage's lead," Kankuro defended himself easily as he sat back on his brother's desk. "And I got to hear you admit it out loud that you enjoy working with me! I wish there'd been witnesses! I wish I'd recorded it for posterity!" he continued smugly.
Shikamaru almost rolled his eyes but then figured that he'd just be playing right into his hands if he did, so he remained neutral. "Well played," was all he said.
"You will be with us another three months still, and leaving Suna does not mean we'll never see each other again," Gaara stated with his usual matter-of-factness. "And I must admit that down the road, it will greatly reassure me to know that Naruto will have you to help him," he added with a fond thought for his best friend – and Shikamaru thought to himself how telling it was, that even Gaara had never doubted for a second that the blond shinobi would become the Hokage but still worried about him.
"Help him? Keep him in line, you mean," Kankuro corrected with a raised eyebrow.
Gaara didn't say anything to that, but then again the lack of contradiction actually spoke volumes. "Now, what is our schedule this morning?" he asked his assistant.
Shikamaru smiled lazily and pulled out his timetable, going on about their day as always.
No regrets, but he'd miss those two something crazy.
In the end, even if it took another day, Temari did sign Kiba's transfer request, and then he forwarded it to Konoha. Maki called him a few days later as soon as she received it, and somehow that really made it official: he was applying for a transfer out of Suna.
"I'm glad you said yes," Maki told him earnestly. "I mean, we'll still need to do a couple of interviews here, because that's the rule, but we can actually be relaxed about those!" she added almost cheerfully.
"It might be a bit late to ask this, but I'm not stepping on anyone's toes, am I?" Kiba asked her with a frown, suddenly thinking about that – maybe there was a shinobi in Konoha's HQ who'd been waiting for a captain opening with bated breath.
It was Anko's voice that replied to him, something along the lines of, "Who the heck asked you to worry about that?" but then Maki wrestled the receiver back from her and sternly but politely told her to go back to her office and the pile of paperwork therein, "Please and thank you, Commander."
He could hear Anko grumble something and leave, and Kiba thought to himself that Maki was as awesome as ever – he was actually looking forward to working with her again. "Thanks, Maki."
"Don't mention it – you'll learn how to deal with her too in time. Trust me: once you get used to her, she'll stop being aggravating on purpose because she says it's not so much fun anymore!" the kunoichi replied brightly.
Kiba almost wanted to say that his own commander was also like that, but the walls had ears and Temari's office was a stone's throw away and he valued his life, so he didn't. "Let me know if there's anything else I need to do on my side," he told her before they hung up.
Really, he could sympathize with having to hold interviews – he was rather hoping he wouldn't have to and had a meeting to see to that later in the day.
And all things considered, he really shouldn't have been surprised that Darami wouldn't act the way he expected her to. "No?" he repeated.
"No, I'm not interested in being deputy commander after you'll leave," the Kumo kunoichi reiterated in the same tone – the 'slightly less dull' one.
"Why?" he asked back, baffled. He was used to having her surprise him, but he'd honestly thought she'd jump at the opportunity. "You seemed to enjoy doing it when I needed a replacement – and you did so admirably well!" he added truthfully. "Temari's willing to skip over the usual interviewing process and promote you directly based on my recommendation and your past experience."
"While I'm flattered, I'm not interested," Darami said for the third time. "Not to mention that as I am in a relationship with her brother, it would not do to have her waive the procedure on my account," she added realistically – and Kiba couldn't contradict on her that, she was now in the same boat as Sojiro. "Besides, replacing you for a couple of days or weeks is one thing; taking over for good is another. One I'm not—"
"Interested in, yes, I think I got as much," Kiba gently interrupted her. "Can I ask you why?"
Darami's eyes narrowed the slightest bit as she tilted her head marginally to the side. "Can I ask you why you're leaving? Particularly as you'll be demoted to captain?"
"Well, fair's fair," Kiba noted as he shared a look with Akamaru. "Several reasons, most of which are purely personal, but the truth is I'm aiming for higher than captain – or deputy, for that matter," he admitted evenly.
"Oh," the medic noted as she looked at his insignia. "You're aiming to become commander."
"It's okay – you can laugh," he said self-consciously as he took in her surprised expression – well, not that she really looked surprised, but he knew her well enough by then, she looked…on the way to looking surprised.
But Darami frowned at him, her tone crossing into 'still dull but also annoyed' territory. "What's there to laugh about? It's normal to pursue what you're good at. You're good with people. I'm not," she stated matter-of-factly. "That makes you a good deputy; it'll make you an excellent commander. And I should remain where I'm most useful: healing people, where it doesn't really matter if I'm nice to them," she concluded pragmatically.
What was he supposed to say to that? It was hard enough controlling himself so he didn't jump in for a hug – he was sure it would be the last thing he ever attempted, he really wondered how Gaara did it. "Okay then…thank you," he said instead, hoping she could feel how sincerely he meant these words.
Darami stared at him instead of getting up to leave, and for a moment it was almost awkward until she spoke. "As you've doubtless noted, it takes me a long time to warm up to people. Yet even as your subordinate, I've come to respect you faster than usual. I have no doubt that when you'll be commander most will feel as I do," she told him honestly before getting up and leaving without a look back.
Kiba couldn't have called her back even if he wanted to, because he felt his voice had momentarily deserted him when his throat clenched up. She'd said 'when you'll become commander' – not 'if', but 'when'. He believed in himself, always had, but hearing someone else say this so clearly – someone he was neither related nor married to – was something else entirely. It was really the most motivating type of encouragement he could ask for.
"Did you see that coming?" he asked Akamaru as he looked between him and the door.
The nin-dog shook his head, reassuring him.
He would never understand women…ever.
But she'd at least made it somewhat easier to tell the others at the next captains meeting. "Last item on the list today, that captain opening in Konoha has now officially been filled, starting next May."
"Ooh, anyone we know?" Yasha asked curiously as she leaned her elbows on the table.
Kiba wanted to pause for effect and delay the inevitable, but simply shrugged. "You're looking at him. Of course, this implies another position's opened up: deputy commander in Suna," he said with the straightest face he could muster.
Darami let out a slight huff, as if she'd still been expecting it all to have been a joke.
Sojiro had that look on his face, the one where he finally understood why Temari had been in a bad mood – and then promptly relaxed.
Mizu opened round eyes before narrowing them, obviously wondering how he'd managed to act so calm all along – and it was gratifying to know he could fool an interrogation specialist from time to time.
"Aww, you're leaving? I'll miss you!" Yasha declared with a pout before sighing. "Well, you're going home, so it's not bad!" she added brightly as she winked at him.
At least you can always count on an Akimichi to keep the mood bright, Kiba figured.
"You're gonna drive Maki crazy!" Mizu added with a nod, thinking of her friend. "But your way of working's really similar, so I guess in the end you'll both be fine."
Actually, his 'way of working' was based on Maki's in the first place, because he'd always thought she did a great job at Konoha's HQ, and had therefore tried to follow her lead when he'd moved to Suna – but he didn't need to say as much, really. Credit where credit is due and all that…
"Well, I'll try not to drive anyone crazy right away, but you know me: it'll be difficult!" Kiba noted with a grin. "So anyway…yeah, I'm still here for another three months, you're not rid of me just yet! If you'd like to apply or put forward any recommendations for the position, feel free to do so at any time!"
He knew Yasha wouldn't apply – it wasn't her style, and she was planning on traveling around sooner or later, as she'd told them from the start. Mizu couldn't, since she was from Suna. And Sojiro…would undeniably be perfect, if it weren't for the fact that he was involved with their commander – no matter how qualified he was, it was very likely that from the outside most people would always accuse him of having been promoted for that sole reason.
He resisted the urge to sigh at this. Darami would've really made it so much easier for him if she'd said yes…now the position would be advertised and he knew he'd get a lot of applications, from all HQs, and it would be his job to review them…in addition to his usual workload! Well, at least Temari would be the one to have to make the interviews and the actual choice…
Ah, fun times…
For the first time in a very long while, Shikamaru felt no heavy weight on his shoulder as he called his mother. There was no bad news to give, nothing that she'd perceive as anything but good, since he'd be telling her this: he was coming back to Konoha for good.
He idly wondered if there was any use getting used to not getting stressed when she suspiciously asked him, "Now what?"
But the perfectly rehearsed sentence flew out just like it was supposed to: "We'll be coming back to Konoha for good."
He could just picture her grin. "About time! When?"
"We're both starting work in May, so late April," was his reply as he absently pulled on Akamaru's chew-toy when the nin-dog came his way. "Kiba's taking the captain opening at the HQ, and for now I'll be back on regular rotations at the Hokage's tower."
"Oh, I see," she noted, sounding almost disappointed for them – both assignments were less prestigious than what they had in Suna, after all. "Well, at least you'll be back home!" she reasoned, visibly happy about that.
By the time he hung up, Shikamaru had the distinct impression she was mulling over something, and he wouldn't have been entirely honest if he'd said he wasn't the slightest bit worried. But he soon put it out of his mind. So when she called back a few days later, he'd completely forgotten about it until she asked him whether Kiba was there, and 'just put him on too'.
Kiba looked at him for reassurance – and got none, since he had no idea what was up. He then turned to look at the phone like it was booby-trapped before he was eventually pulled to sit down in Shikamaru's lap. "Hello, Kiba here," he announced himself unnecessarily.
Akamaru was resting peacefully close to them, and for a second he was tempted to wake him up and send him away with a 'save yourself, Akamaru!'
But he didn't, because that would have been crazy.
"So," Yoshino finally started and they could picture the way she always ended up joining her hands and leaning her forearms on the table, "tell me, what do you have in mind, in terms of lodgings? Once you'll be back, that is," she asked curiously but in an almost uninterested manner.
Shikamaru blinked at the unexpected question. "Well…a house, ideally with a garden big enough for Akamaru," he replied evenly, sharing a quick look with Kiba and grinning slightly as the nin-dog wagged his tail happily at this but refrained from barking as he'd usually do.
"And on Nara clan grounds," Kiba added, fingers absently toying with the ring on Shikamaru's hand.
"Really?" she repeated in a strange tone.
"Well, we're Naras, right?" the tracker said with a slight shrug. "Besides, it'll make things simpler when we'll…" he trailed off at this, not really too sure what she'd made of that idea – even Shikamaru wasn't 100% certain whether she was looking forward to it or thought it was way over the threshold of acceptable weirdness.
"Adopt," Yoshino finished for him nonetheless with a raised eyebrow they could simply hear, sighing slightly. "It does make sense. And that's why I want you two to take this house," she finally said.
Both their eyes widened at this, naturally. Even Akamaru looked up and cocked his head to the side in confusion.
"You what?" Kiba asked as he blinked in shock.
"Mom, what about you?" Shikamaru asked her with a frown.
They could picture Yoshino rolling her eyes at this. "Oh, please! Finding a nice place for one person certainly isn't hard! Besides, this house is really too big for me on my own – the cleaning alone is a pain, so there are more than a few rooms I simply don't even use anymore!" she dismissed his worries easily. "Also…this was always supposed to become your house when you'd get married," she reminded him matter-of-factly.
Well…yeah, his parents had both made comments in that sense at several points in his life, but he'd actually forgotten about even the possibility.
Huh…so visibly her grand-maternal urges were the strongest.
(Was there such a thing as 'grand-maternal' urges? Should they just be called 'maternal' urges? Projected maternal urges maybe? Kiba shook his head to dissipate this trail of thoughts at that, he was visibly digressing and now wasn't a good time to zone out.)
"It's fairly common after all – even Tsume gave the family house to Hana after her marriage, didn't she?" Yoshino asked Kiba rhetorically.
Kiba frowned slightly at this, wishing they could be having this conversation in person. "Yeah, but she's always approved of Aoba. The same can't exactly be said in our case," he said as evenly as he could, figuring maybe it was time to speak frankly after all – and he'd never known how to shut up anyway. His mother-in-law may have finally warmed to him, but that had certainly been a bumpy road.
Yoshino sighed once more at this, agreeing with him that the air should be cleared. "I've never had a problem with you as a person, Kiba, just as a partner for my son – at first," she started honestly.
Shikamaru didn't intervene, as if sensing it wasn't his place although they were essentially talking about him.
"But yet here we are, still, after all these years. You're his husband now. You're a Nara. And you're going to have a child with him," she listed matter-of-factly. "You're not going away," she stated in conclusion, fully convinced of her words.
"Out of the question!" he confirmed confidently as he reached for Shikamaru's hand – who smiled warmly at him.
Yoshino let out a breath and they heard the crunching of biscuits in the background. "Now that that's settled…I expect you'll both help me pack and move when you'll be back!" she forewarned seriously.
The two exchanged looks at this – that sounded like a reasonable request, right?
They'd likely regret it in a few months, but for now, it would do.
Since the Allied Division was still so young, a lot of procedures were created or polished on the fly, as the situations arose and demanded – and actually, aspects greatly varied from one HQ to the other, since the commanders had a fair amount of administrative freedom. But in effect, while choosing and appointing the deputy commander was the commander's responsibility, putting together the shortlist was the departing deputy's job – the joys of which Kiba had become intimately familiar with in the weeks following his decision to transfer away.
As he'd thought, he received a few applications from within their HQ, but much more from the others. Not being biased was harder than he'd have thought. Of course he felt more inclined to recommend people he personally knew and/or who were already in Suna, but realistically not everyone was cut out for the job, and a lot of people – himself included, at first – didn't really grasp all that would be required of them should they get promoted. Besides, he was acutely aware that he'd done well in no small part thanks to his already excellent relationship with Temari – the human factor should never be dismissed, he'd always advocated as much.
Plus he did try to favor files from Iwa, because it was true that they were underrepresented in Suna – and he actually called Tenten quite a few times to get her read on applicants, since he really believed interpersonal skills were important and couldn't exactly be accurately demonstrated on paper.
More than once, he'd huffed at Darami, Sojiro and Yasha for not having made the job easier on him by volunteering. He was resisting the urge to pout at them solely because he figured he should be above that, as deputy commander – but he'd arbitrarily decided that as captain, he'd be able to pout to his heart's content. "You'd have made my life so much easier," he told them regularly anyway, over lunch or in the break room.
Darami and Yasha usually ignored him while Sojiro avoided his look and concentrated on anything available – the newspaper, more often than not.
However on that day, he followed him back to his office and cleared his throat in the doorway. "Got a moment for me?" he asked him as he discreetly glanced at Temari's door over his shoulder.
"Sure," Kiba replied with a raised eyebrow. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, of course," the Mist shinobi replied as he closed the door and waked closer to his desk. "So…it's your task to…filter all applications, right?" he needlessly clarified.
Akamaru whined in confusion and his master shrugged. "Yep, but if you're only registering all my complaining now, I have to say I'm not impressed," he couldn't help but tease easily.
Sojiro rolled his eyes at his antics, not really annoyed, and then nonchalantly asked, "There are pictures attached to the files, right?"
"Yeah…?"
Sojiro nodded and then leaned his hands on his desk, lowering his voice. "Kiba, I'm appealing to you right now not as my deputy commander, but as a fellow man."
"I live for moments like this," Kiba assured him smartly, trying to guess what this was about.
The captain's eyes narrowed momentarily and he once more looked over his shoulder before speaking. "Think you could filter out all fairly attractive men?" he asked in a hushed whisper.
"Think I could what?" the tracker repeated dubiously, fighting back the urge to check his ears to make sure he'd heard him correctly.
"I'm just saying – and with…you know…all due respect and whatnot – I'd sleep better if your successor were either female or not too attractive," Sojiro admitted, standing his ground. "The commander and deputy do spend an awful lot of time together after all, I'm sure you can see my side."
Oh sure, Kiba saw his side – and he was trying really hard not to laugh at him, but that didn't mean he couldn't have his fun. "Hey, so just so we're clear, what about me? Not to sound too vain, but I think I qualify for 'fairly attractive'!"
"I didn't imply otherwise," Sojiro quickly noted, holding a hand up reassuringly. "But realistically, you're not a threat – Temari's not your type, I am!" he reasoned.
Kiba did raise an eyebrow at that. "You are absolutely not my type," he informed him pointblank.
Sojiro huffed as he waved a hand about. "That's just a figure of speech, I didn't—wait, why not? What's wrong with me?" he wondered with a frown despite himself.
"Nothing's wrong with you – except that I'm still trying to understand this conversation!" Kiba assured him easily, grin only barely not shitfaced. "Realistically, I can't exactly strike out someone who'd fit the job just because he's 'fairly attractive' – and let's not even get into a discussion on how subjective that criteria would be in the first place!"
"I know you can't," the poison specialist agreed with a shrug. "I had to try though, right?"
"Yeah, I get where you're coming from. But you do realize you worry too much, don't you?" Kiba asked back with a softer grin.
Sojiro sighed at this, not being able to deny it. "I'm still a work in progress," he replied meditatively.
The deputy magnanimously decided to throw him a bone at that. "If it's any consolation, so far I've got two women and a guy who's even older than you on the list."
"It is – thank you!" Sojiro replied happily.
"Hey, my turn to ask you something now," Kiba started with a frown. "Why won't you apply? Is it only because of the relationship stuff? Cause you're seriously more than qualified – and you're clearly overqualified as captain!"
"Would you want to spend so much time working so closely with Shikamaru?" Sojiro asked back earnestly. "I don't mind working in the same division and reporting to Temari, but as deputy we'd be in constant contact, and I do believe that to maintain sanity in the long run, a couple shouldn't spend both days and nights together all the time. And if she has to make a difficult decision, I want to be the guy who follows her orders, not the one who gets in her face about it," he concluded with a nod.
Kiba had to admit that did make sense – he was with Temari an awful lot, and they often squabbled over things, so how would it not affect a relationship? "You have a point – I wouldn't want to either," he admitted. "But I can't make any promises on the attractive men front: I might fall prey to a pretty face myself – after all, I'm still just a man!" he added woefully.
"Were that to be the case, I'd ask Shikamaru for a second opinion," the Mist shinobi countered with a raised eyebrow.
"Touché," Kiba was forced to concede before chuckling. "Look at us, how we're bonding! Pity I had to leave for it to happen!" he teased him easily.
"You bit me shortly after we first met," Sojiro reminded him matter-of-factly, implying it was his fault.
"Yes I did…"
"You don't feel bad about that at all, do you?" the captain asked him with a sigh.
"Well, now I have a reputation," Kiba replied dreamily instead of pretending to be sorry. And honestly, how awesome was it that people seriously assumed he'd bite them if he wasn't satisfied with their work?
Sojiro rolled his eyes with a snort and nodded at him before turning on his heels, pausing at the door as he looked back over his shoulder. "For what it's worth, I think you're overqualified to be a captain, too," he told him earnestly.
Kiba blinked in surprise before grinning softly, sharing a quick look with Akamaru. "Thanks."
The poison specialist nodded once more before carefully opening the door as if half-expecting Temari to be waiting on the other side – she wasn't, but it was still freaking hilarious to watch him worry.
Kiba was tempted to create a selection of the best-looking applicants just to give Sojiro cold sweats, but he was a nice guy after all, so he didn't. But neither did he filter out those files.
Suddenly though, this had just become more fun!
And he reasonably couldn't keep something this fun to himself.
"Sojiro stopped by my office to ask me to filter out all 'fairly attractive' men before giving Temari my recommendation," he told Shikamaru over dinner that evening.
Shikamaru paused mid-chew and shook his head as he thought about it. "How is it that I work at the Kazekage's office and yet your days often trump mine in terms of crazy?" he wondered rhetorically.
"I'm gifted like that?" Kiba offered with a shrug, leaning back to make sure Akamaru was eating to his heart's content – of course he was, but he'd always check anyway.
"That you are," Shikamaru was forced to concede, grinning as that got his shin kicked. "In a good way," he placated him easily, reaching for more meat and automatically giving his cartilage to the tracker. "I never pegged him for an insecure guy though – Sojiro, I mean," he commented thoughtfully.
"You and me both," Kiba was forced to agree. "Maybe that comes with age…" Even though he was only about a decade older…
"Seriously, worrying about Temari and her future deputy would be like…" Shikamaru trailed off at this, trying to find a similar situation it could be compared to. Looking back up with a huff as he couldn't come up with a suitable comparison, he went with the second-best. "Like you worrying about me and Kankuro!"
Kiba laughed at this, raising an eyebrow as he calmed down. "Except I could worry – I know how charming he can be! The only reason I'm still calm is I know you're crazy about me," he declared modestly.
"Right," the shadow-nin indulged him with a fond roll of his eyes.
"You're also not really his type," Kiba continued in a judging tone.
"That you know," Shikamaru couldn't help but say back, figuring two could play that game.
He should've known better than to try to beat Kiba at his own game, of course.
"I kept secretly hoping for a threesome, but I guess that won't happen," the tracker finished with an exaggerated sigh.
Akamaru barked in amusement as Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'll just pretend you never said that," he noted warningly before electing to change the subject. "So did you filter anyone out?"
Kiba grinned at this but decided not to be aggravating because he was nice like that. "Not on that basis, no – it's both subjective and unfair, even I can see as much! Sojiro will just have to live with it!"
"Well, how attractive, exactly, are we talking about?" Shikamaru asked back with a raised eyebrow.
"You're trying to trick me and that won't work," Kiba replied perceptively. "In the end it'll be Temari's decision anyway."
Akamaru barked something and his master stuck his tongue out at him before choosing to ignore him. "He's being cheeky," was all he told the other.
Shikamaru chuckled at their antics but didn't press the issue further. "Kankuro wanted to go out for drinks tomorrow night," he then told him.
"I'm game!" Kiba immediately replied before grinning slyly and wiggling his eyebrows.
Shikamaru cut him off knowingly before he could speak though. "Mention that threesome again and I will kill someone – chances are it'll be either you or Kankuro, but I'm still not sure on who'll go first," he warned him fairly.
Kiba closed his mouth and grinned happily, reaching to press a kiss to his lips. "I love it when you start threatening people and going overboard," he informed him fondly.
"I know you do," was Shikamaru's very smug reply, smirk widening as Kiba's mouth trailed down to his neck and he felt him bite down slightly.
Needless to say they didn't finish their dinner right away. (Or later for that matter, because Akamaru believed in a 'too bad for those who aren't there' policy and helped himself to their parts.)
(They didn't mind.)
(At all.)
TBC
Hmm...in this part's first draft, I didn't go over much, but then I thought: 'this is Kiba having to follow procedures-this is FUN!' and that explains this chapter's length.
I really like that scene with Temari though. That one remained practically unchanged from then beginning.