The last bell was just about to ring. However, a certain student was already walking—or more like sneaking—down the halls. She'd escaped class with an excuse of a headache and made her way to the front doors of the school. She had something important to do. When she reached the school yard, Ame was there, just as she'd expected. She was sitting up against one of the pillars, brushing her tail absentmindedly as she stared out at the evening sun. The goddess, having heard the student approaching, looked up and directly at the student. Her mismatched eyes gazed into those of the student as she silently waited for the student to say what she wanted.

It was clear this student wasn't getting a name any time soon.

"A-Amaterasu?"

Ame frowned and gave the student a rather impatient look. Who else was she supposed to be?

"Are you and Kid really going together?" the student asked.

Ame smirked. She'd been wanting to do this ever since she got the ring. Kid got to do it all the time whenever boys looked at her. She opened up her hand, flipped it so the back was toward the school girl, and lifted her hand to show off her ring. The student nodded, feeling slightly discouraged at this.

"Oh, I see," she whispered. "I was just wondering… what it was that a nice boy like Kid… saw in you, that's all. I wish to follow your example, Goddess."

Ame looked away, not because she was ashamed of the worshipper, but because she hadn't really thought of it before. What was it that Kid liked about Ame so much?

Screaming, Singing, and Sneezing; Is This What We Like?

Why did Kid like Ame?

Was it because she was cute? He told her that frequently.

"Hey, Kid, come look at this video!" Patti said from where she was sitting on the couch, looking at videos on her laptop. Kid stopped cleaning for a moment to watch the 45 second clip of a baby panda sneezing.

"That's cute," Kid said simply before carrying on with what he was doing. He looked away from the painting he was straightening when he saw Ame in in corner of his eye. "What is it now?"

Ame didn't say anything. She just stared at him with really wide eyes for about five seconds. Kid was about to approach her and ask if she was okay when she suddenly let out a high-pitched, really loud sneeze into her hand. Kid jumped, startled.

"Uhm… bless you? I guess…" he said, looking slightly afraid. "Um, are you okay?"

Ame decided that wasn't it.

Could it be because he liked her singing voice?

"Kid, I know what we should do tonight!" Ame said on Wednesday after school.

They went to a karaoke booth. They rented a room for an hour and Ame scrolled through the songs expectantly. She found the one she wanted and the track began playing as she started screaming into the microphone. Kid winced. Her voice was always so pretty; why couldn't she just pick something else to sing? Anything else? Oh well, if that's what she wanted to sing, it wasn't his choice. Besides, even when she's screaming, she maintains a certain… rhythm.

Ame was slightly discouraged. Was Kid just her boyfriend because someone told him to? Is he doing this because he felt some kind of obligation? No, Kid loved her, she just wasn't sure why. He didn't like her for her looks or her talents or anything, so what was she supposed to tell that girl who asked?

She decided to consult Maka about it. I mean, her father's dated tons of girls, right? She had to know something about the system.

"Why is my girlfriend so weird?!" Kid demanded as he entered Soul's apartment and sat down on the couch. Soul was already there with a videogame remote in hand, picking at a bowl of Doritos on the coffee table.

"Sounds like you and Ame are already having some troubles," Soul said, not taking his eyes off the TV. "Need help?"

"I mean, I know that girls are… weird," Kid couldn't find a better way to describe it. "I get that. But after a while, I really don't know how to handle her."

"I get that," Soul sighed. "I mean, Maka's my meister; she's kind of like the boss around here. Think of Ame as being your meister. Women think they rule the house because they know, and we know, that they are more responsible in the sense that they can actually cook a decent meal and clean the house more than once a year. That's not necessarily your case, but…."

"Okay," Kid nodded. "This is rather restricting. I expect the girls to do whatever I say, you know?" Kid said this carefully, as if he trying not to sound like a bad guy. "But now I feel like whenever I go on a mission, 'Woohoo, I can be the boss. My girlfriend said so.'"

"Imagine how I feel," Soul said. "Maka's my girlfriend and my meister. I never get to tell anyone what to do; I can only tell myself what I do. It's my life, you know?"

Kid watched him graphically behead a zombie.

"Yeah," Kid nodded.

"But if you want advice on girls, I have it," Soul paused the game and looked Kid in the eye. "There are six simple vocabulary words that all women use. First, there's fine."

"Fine?" Kid asked. "As in describing someone, or…?"

"No way," Soul shook his head. "This is the word they use in substitute to 'okay' when she knows she's right and you need to shut up."

"Got it," Kid nodded. "Fine means shut up."

"Next is 'nothing,' because nothing means something and you need to be worried about it. But don't make it obvious; be cool. Just quietly wait for her to blow."

"O… kay…."

"Go Ahead' is a phrase she uses as a dare. It is not permission. My sound advice is DON'T. Also, 'Whatever' is a polite way of her saying 'Screw you and screw your ancestors.' Number five is tricky. If she says 'that's okay' when you're apologizing for something, she's just thinking long and hard on your ultimate demise. Be worried. 'Wow' isn't used sarcastically; she's genuinely amazed at how stupid you really are."

"Are you sure?" Kid asked.

"These can all be positive words in positive context," Soul shrugged. "But women are all the same."

Meanwhile, Ame was meeting with Maka at the café for smoothies.

"So, you wanted to speak about something?" Maka asked Ame as they sat down at a booth in the corner.

"Men," Ame replied seriously, looking Maka expectantly in the eye.

"Men?" Maka laughed. "I get it, this is about Kid, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Do you think it's wrong of me to always act like I'm in charge?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Maka shook her head. "Women are in charge at home; it's the natural process of things. Men just don't understand how to handle themselves in a relationship sometimes. And from a scientific standpoint, women are three percent better at communicating. Do you understand?"

Ame thought about it a moment before nodding with determination.

"Let me warn you, the stupidity of men is amazing and inevitable. They may cheat on you or leave you, but you just got to stay calm, take a breath, and smack them."

"Right!" Ame nodded, kicking her short legs under the table.

"The first thing you need to know is that men are full of crap," Maka said. "Or at least all the men I know. Another thing is that all men are different. Some lie and cheat, some are loyal but still have the relationship experience of a water flea. Just be cool. You're a smart, strong, independent woman and you don't need a man to complete you."

"Really?" Ame asked,blushing.

"Really," Maka nodded. Now that the pep talk was out of the way, she decided to get right down to it. "Since all men are different, they need to be handled in different ways. I'm not quite sure about Kid; he's just very polished and traditional. He's a good guy, but he might just unconsciously dominate you because you're a woman and he's old-fashioned."

"I don't think he's like that," Ame said. "He's easy to grip and break down because of his OCD. I don't take advantage of it, but you're right; he's so well-behaved that I don't have to give a crap what he does."

"That's good," Maka nodded. "I can tell you've broken through that wall he has up. I mean, he made a door for Liz and Patti. He invited you in and gave you your own space on the other side of that wall."

Ame smiled. "So, I know all guys have different interests, but what do they all want?"

"Here we go," Maka sighed. "How to please a man is dull; it's just their brainwork. All the entire population of men have in common is the desire that women come naked and bring beer. That's why the woman has to lead the relationship. You know, there's like a code among women. Men aren't good at relationships or communication, just keep your words short and simple. Say fine when you want him to shut up, and if he screws up, just take a breath and say it's okay. That buys you more time to think of the perfect revenge."

Back to Soul and Kid; they'd moved into the kitchen to make some food.

"Women ask a lot of a man," Soul said as he stirred a bubbling pot on the stove. Kid was measuring ingredients precisely in glass measuring cups. "I mean, you gotta love her, for one thing."

"Of course," Kid said, handing Soul a cup of dried tomatoes. "I mean, what is love without… well, love?"

"Yeah, but it's deeper than that," Soul said. "You have to die for her, and make a lot of personal sacrifices. I mean, all a man wants from a woman is that she comes naked and brings beer."

"Soul," Kid scolded.

"It's true," Soul said. "But in return, we can only handle so much 'woman.' We need personal space. We need me time where we can be the boss of ourselves for a while. Women need you to give that up sometimes, like missing a ball game or using your money to buy her something nice every once and a while. You have to take her out to dinner, and listen when she talks, and…."

"Shouldn't you do that stuff anyway?" Kid asked.

"It's not that easy, Kid," Soul said, setting the food to simmer and taking his apron off. He reached into the fridge and brought out a 2 liter bottle of coke. "Women have needs."

Kid nodded and got two glasses from the cabinet above him. They moved into the dining room and Soul began pouring the soda.

Maka and Ame were devouring their third round of smoothies.

"But Kid isn't like that," Ame said. "He doesn't want to have sex with me yet!"

"Ame, keep your voice down!" Maka scolded, ducking her head and making no eye contact with the few people in the café who were staring at them. She took a breath and composed herself. "Look, we're all underage. I sure hope Kid wants to remain a virgin until he's older, or else there's something even more seriously wrong with that boy than I thought."

Ame stared at her intently. Maka gazed back, noticing her eerie silence. Ame was innocently trying to convey some news to Maka, but she just couldn't bring herself to say it. Maka's mouth fell open.

"Are you serious?" she whispered. "Kid's not a virgin?"

Ame shook her head. Maka looked away, trying not to offend Ame's perfect catch. As soon as she composed herself again, she looked back at Ame and opened her mouth.

"So…"

"Women are insane!" Kid cried, slamming his cup down on the table. Soul filled his glass again. "I mean, they say all they want is love and a man that will die for her, but now they're asking for it in the bedroom. I mean, sure, it's not that bad on our part, but they're a bunch of hypocrites!"

"Caffeine always does it to him," Soul grinned. Over the years that Soul had known Kid, he'd noticed his refrain from excessive amounts of caffeine or sugar. Coffee in the morning was fine to wake him up, but at small parties with Blackstar and Crona, Soul noticed that Kid would talk more and more. And his inhibitions dropped drastically.

"But, Soul, Ame's not like that," Kid said. "She's the goddess of innocence. I'm not even sure that she can."

"What?" Soul asked. "Get naked with you?"

"I know it sounds stupid," Kid sighed, suddenly serious. He swirled the liquid in his glass for a moment.

"Kid?" Soul asked. "I was only kidding. I didn't mean to offend you about it. I get it, Ame's just… someone you're going to miss out on. It doesn't matter. What matters is if you're able to live with that."

"Yes," Kid nodded determinedly. "It never mattered to me what kind of handicap she had. I didn't care if she was crazy, and I don't care if she can't please me like that. Actually, I'm a bit sick of being pleased."

He took a composed sip of his soda.

This chapter wasn't really serious; it was just kind of throwing things around to be funny. XD Anyway, I hope you guys are reviewing so I can write better.