[Author's Notes: There is a song referenced here; Confrontation, from Jekyll & Hyde - The Gothic Musical Thriller: The Complete Work (Disc 2). The lyrics (as best I could decipher them) are included at the end of this chapter for reference.]
The flight was smooth, and the jet well-appointed. I regaled Rachel with more stories of my past, and she spoke a bit about her life in Azarath. I was surprised to learn that she was actually a priestess in the Cult of Azar.
"What exactly does that mean?" I queried.
"Nothing, anymore," she responded bitterly. "My Father razed the entire dimension to the ground in an attempt to head off any aid that I could find there. Even when I was living there, Azar didn't ask me to lead ceremonies or anything like that. The bestowal of priesthood was almost more of a formality than anything else, required to learn the deeper secrets that Azar had for me to learn." She took a sip of the martini near her hand, her tongue flicking across her upper lip afterwards to remove any residual moisture. She almost managed to hide the trembling of her hand.
"Arella left a message for me to find when I returned to Azarath during Trigon's bid for Earth. She said , 'You forever had the love of your people, Raven, even knowing what you would become-and what that would bring.' But I cannot accept that they could love a beast which would serve as the harbinger of their own destruction."
I briefly contemplated the benefits of appealing to her demonic instincts in my response before deciding that this sort of self-pitying, misplaced guilt was all too human. So, I responded as I would to any other human.
"Bullshit."
Her nose crinkled in confusion.
"A group of enlightened, pacifistic mystics would have simply denied your mother entry to Azarath if they wanted nothing to do with your heritage. Whoever this 'Arella' was, she was quite wise in noting that. They accepted you because they wanted to give you a chance at overcoming your destiny. They kept you there because they grew to love you." My brow furrowed as I tacked on, "and you're not a beast."
Rachel appeared not to hear my addendum. "Arella also said, 'The promise of your birth was absolute.'"
"And yet, you defeated Trigon and banished him from this world."
She shifted in her seat and clenched her arms about herself, unconsciously drawing her cloak around her. "I don't believe that she was talking about that promise."
"Ah. Well then, she was concurrently both very wise and very foolish."
Rachel's eyes glared weakly at me and flashed a pale white. "Arella was my mother."
I flinched slightly. "Apologies. And condolences. But my statement stands."
Rachel slumped as the fight seemed to go out of her. The cloak fell from limp fingers, falling open to reveal a petite body armoured against the world with lycra and sarcasm.
"Nothing in this or any other world that I've visited is impossible, Rachel." I gestured towards myself and continued. "How often is one gifted with interdimensional travelers, anyhow?"
She gave a pale shadow of her usual smirk and said, "More often than you'd expect, I imagine."
I nodded genially. "Point to you. Still, you thought it impossible to defeat Trigon, and you did so. You thought it impossible that this outing should take place, yet here we are. I thought it impossible that I should ever meet someone that I would come to know and cherish so deeply and so quickly. And there you are."
Her face gained the slightest tint of pink as she blushed and then averted her gaze, drawing her cloak closed in the process. I sighed softly to myself. She'd closed herself off again.
As if in confirmation to this, she asked, "When will we be arriving?"
"You should probably go ahead and get changed," I replied after checking my watch. "I'll do the same."
=-=-=-=-=-
The streets of New York were much as I remembered them: malodorous, noisy, and crowded. The sidewalks were jammed from building to boulevard with a sea of humanity, and the traffic choked along through congested, arterial roadways. The limousine that I had reserved for this end of the trip ducked and weaved through the melee with the grace and skill of a boxer, and before we knew it we were pulling up in front of our restaurant for the evening.
Rachel was beautiful in her dress, a slinky affair with a matching shoulder shawl in the same colour as her cloaks. My own attire complemented hers, a classic look combining slacks and dinner jacket with tie and pocket kerchief in her favourite shade of blue. We attracted some looks, but not too many; in this city we would hardly stick out.
The restaurant was an upscale place serving food from across Asia. When I pointed out to Rachel that there should be food here that she would find palatable, she simply smiled. After a time sushi, sashimi, and other forms of raw or near-raw animal flesh arrived at our table, and we both ate with relish. I was pleased to see that she had begun to truly accept my own acceptance of her nature.
We spoke, but I honestly don't recall the topics of conversation that we meandered through. It was a peaceful hour or two that we spent there, eating in a leisurely fashion and speaking of inconsequential matters. Eventually, she said, "I noticed that you don't have your cane with you. Are you healed?"
I nodded. "More or less. I have a brace on the leg that allows me to walk largely unassisted. If it continues to progress well then I should have full function in another month or so." I took another look at my watch and motioned for the server.
"Come," I said after paying the bill. "Time grows short, and there is still a fair distance to go before we get to the venue." I offered my arm, which she grasped without hesitation, and led us out of the restaurant and back into our limo.
=-=-=-=-=-
Raven was completely enthralled with the performance being enacted on the stage. The players had drawn her into the lives of their characters; she felt resigned despair with Lucy, the drive to succeed with Jekyll, the innocent passion of Lisa, and the uninhibited love of life that defined Hyde. However...
Something was... off. Her empathy, primarily intuitive in the best of times, was giving vague readings that she simply couldn't decipher. Usually a crowd overwhelmed her senses, but they were far enough away (Jon had somehow managed to get a private balcony, comfortable and with a perfect view) that their emotions were a subtle, background buzzing. The only other person within range was Jon himself, but he seemed just as enamoured as she did. Since the feelings were only mildly annoying, she ignored them in favour of the drama below.
Until Confrontation [1]...
Raven was suddenly and violently inundated with a chaotic maelstrom of emotion, enough that her composure fell for a telling moment. A loud gasp echoed through the balcony, and a delicate hand reached up quickly in a feeble attempt to massage away the attack. Jon, usually so attentive to her every shift in position and gesture, did not react in the slightest.
The song continued, but her attention was locked onto the man beside her as memories and emotions began to flow through their shared mindscape, escaping from whatever prison he usually contained them in...
=-=-=-=-=-
-FLASH-
A strange tableau, seen from two viewpoints... both surrounded and surrounding; a beast of hate and shadow... a pigtailed youth in a red shirt... a rough teenager wearing a bandanna... a beauty wearing a cheongsam and wielding two large maces... and another determined female with a bandoleer of spatulas draped across her form...
-FLASH-
A horrific tear in reality, both real and impossible, bending human perception past the breaking point and dragging me in! DEAR GOD, NO! LET ME GO!
-FLASH-
Darkness... forgotten time revealing the death of self... who am I?... who am I when I'm not me?...
-FLASH-
Nightmare images of a dance club, pulsing bass and gyrating prey... blood pulsing through innocent flesh... possession is nine tenths of perception...
-FLASH-
Lightbringers, armoured and fierce. Seething hate and power, attacking, desiring, takingand-
-FLASH-
A girl, no more than fifteen, crying and pleading, "Please... let me go..."
-FLASH-
"WHO AM I?" I scream as the walls crumble, my [slave/sibling] puling in terror as a mirror shows my body but not myface...
-FLASH-
"There is always hope," she says within her cage. Her raven hair knotted and filthy, her skin bruised and covered with grime. "I know that this is not who you are. And I know that this is not who you will always be." My face sneers, but it is not my face. My mouth twists into words of loathing, but they are not my words. My body moves to complete the violation of this divine creature, but I hold it off once more. It's so hard, and foreign instincts rage against what control I have left... God... help me... … … I don't want this... … … …please!...
-FLASH-
Which is me... the good man... or... the mad man....?
-FLASH-
Platinum locks cascading down a bronze back... both attractive and repellent... she reminds me of my childhood... a time of [fire and torment/warmth and comfort].
-FLASH-
"Nephilim-san... please return my little sister..." the hateful creature of light pleads, honey-blond hair pooling about her feet. A surge of satisfied lust builds within me as I see this beauty kneeling as all beings should to my might... yet... is this desirable or abhorrent? Let the girl go WHY SHOULD I?
-FLASH-
Beams and bursts and orbs of glowing energy, two goddesses and their angel companions attacking, overwhelming, and me, alone, two but one, ripped apart in my own mind, yet cannot lose and the innocent, Skuld, my [pet/sister] and they cannot have her! She is beloved and SHE IS MINE!
-FLASH-
Darkness and laughter... hideous, mad laughter...
-FLASH-
"Goddamn you, Zarach! Take all your evil deeds and rot in Hell!"
"I'll see you there, Chronicler!"
-FLASH-
=-=-=-=-=-
The memories stopped as quickly as they started and left Raven reeling between shock, fear, disbelief, and hope.
"Now you know."
Raven turned to her left and saw herself.
The bespectacled doppelganger wore a sable cloak with yellow trim over a black version of the evening dress. She stood tall, and seemed not in the least perturbed by the fact that she was standing where there was no room to stand. Intellectually, Raven knew that it was her perceptions of this avatar and her surroundings that bent physical space (that is, it was all in her head) but that did not make the experience any less disturbing. "Know what?"
"The marks upon his person. How he knows our kind so well. How he understands what no one, no matter how well-intentioned, ever has." She lifted a hand to reposition her glasses.
"He is no Nephilim," Raven replied heatedly.
"Well... not anymore," hedged the saffron-trimmed girl.
"He never was. He was, at the worst, possessed."
"What makes you so sure?"
Raven glared at nothing in particular. "It's impossible for a demi-demon to become a Nephilim and not become evil."
"Nonsense. You're just saying that because no one ever has."
Silence.
"Raven," continued the figment, "there are a thousand ways to succeed at any task and there are a thousand ways to fail. The only way for you to succeed is to try. If you allow yourself to die without fighting for your right to live... what was the point of fighting the first prophecy?"
Raven clutched at her shawl, feeling a sharp pang of regret that she had decided to leave her cloak behind. "There's no way it can work..."
"You must decide, and soon. Each day the divisions you've placed in your mind become weaker. Already you've begun to experience a fuller range of emotions. Listen to Jon. He is both wise and intelligent." She reached out a hand, slowly gaining translucence as she stroked Raven's face. "We cannot exist as separate manifestations any longer, Raven. The demonic energy inside of you demands a gestalt soul." She was fading, leeching from this existence until only a mental echo of her voice remained. "You have come to love your friends. You have come to trust Jon. Can you not do the same for yourself?"
=-=-=-=-=-
The mass of humanity below cheered.
Jon looked at nothing. Said nothing. Felt nothing. In the present once more.
Raven watched him. Wondering. Fearing.
Hoping.
=-=-=-=-=-
[1]
Confrontation, Jekyll & Hyde - The Gothic Musical Thriller: The Complete Work (Disc 2)
It's over now I know inside
No one will ever know
The sorry tale of... Edward Hyde...
And those who died...
No one must ever know
They'd only see the tragedy
They'd not see my intent
The shadow of Hyde's evil
Would forever kill the good
That I had meant
Am I a good man...?
Am I a mad man...?
...It's such a fine line between a good man and a-
Do you really think that I would ever let you go?
Do you think I'd ever set you free?
If you do I'm sad to say it simply isn't so
You will never get away from me
All that you are is a face in the mirror
I close my eyes and you disappear
I'm what you face when you face in the mirror
Long as you live I will still be here
All that you are is the end of a nightmare
All that you are is a dying scream
After tonight I shall end this demon dream
This is not a dream, my friend, and it will never end
This one is the nightmare that goes on
Hyde is here to stay no matter what you may pretend
And he'll flourish long after you're gone
Soon you will die and my memory will hide you!
You cannot choose but to lose control
You can't control me I live deep inside you!
Each day you feel me devour your soul!
I don't need you to survive like you need me
I'll become whole as you dance with death
And I'll rejoice as you breathe your final breath
(Laugh) I'll live inside you forever! -No!-
With Satan himself by my side! -Nooo!-
And I know that now and forever
They'll never be able
To separate
Jekyll from Hyde!
Can't you see it's
Over now?
It's time to die!
No, not I,
Only you!
If I die,
You die too!
You die!
Me?
I'll be you!
Damn you Hyde!
Leave me be!
Can't you see?!
YOU ARE ME!
No! Deep inside!
I am pure,
YOU are HYDE!
No, Never!
Yes, Forever!
Goddamn you Hyde!
Take all your evil deeds and rot in Hell!
I'll see you there, Jekyll!
=-=-=-=-=-