Canon vs Fanon (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: Because sometimes the fandom needs to be reminded what canon is actually like...

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: This is making use of my America and Canada in the comparison (as the 'canon' characters, although I will admit they aren't completely true to canon). If you want to know more, check out my stories!

Part the Ninth: The Mandatory Crossover Event

(Note: In this instance America and Canada are my travelers while Alfred and Matthew are the characters from that universe.)

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"Wait, how did you two end up in a British school of all things?" America asked, looking remarkably confused all of a sudden.

"Well…" Alfred started, glancing to his brother for some help with explaining it all.

"I was born in Canada and moved down to the States with my mom when I was eight after my dad left," Matthew supplied first. "Since she didn't know about magic, she wasn't sure what to do about my accidents at first, especially since they got worse from the stress of the move."

Alfred grinned in memory. "Yeah, he moved in just down the street, so my own mom decided to welcome them, and we became friends. When he had his next accident a few weeks later, my mom sat them down and explained a lot about the magical world to them, though I really was just glad my new best friend could use magic too."

The Canadian nodded. "Our parents decided to get married when we were ten, and then a bit after that his mom got a job offer in England, so even though my mom complained for days about coming here, we ended up moving about three months before our birthdays."

"And then you got letters?" Canada asked, looking amused. "Sounds like an interesting childhood."

"Not as much as yours," Alfred admitted, leaning forward. "I mean, how does having countries as people even work?"

"Well," America leaned back, shrugged. "Tony - that's my alien friend - mentioned something about panpsyche, but he's still working out the full details of it, but basically we're just ideas given solid, humanish form. It's not like we're the only things around, either - Russia has General Winter hanging out at his place most of the time, Death sometimes shows up to chat with England or the other old Nations, and I'm still convinced I met the actual Earth personified once but I haven't been able to find them again to confirm it…"

"Wow," Both humans muttered, suitably impressed. "Wait, do you guys have magic, then?"

"Huh?" Canada tilted his head thoughtfully. "Well, yes, I suppose so, but it's not as common as it is here."

"I can use magic, since I inherited it from England," America shrugged again. "I don't use it for much aside from warding off ghosts, since I really don't need it for most of the things I do. But I mean, as personified countries we can do some pretty weird things that you'd probably all call magic but really… isn't."

"How come?" Alfred, ever the Ravenclaw, asked.

"What we do just isn't really replicable to the same degree," America frowned, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Like our regeneration - we've checked it versus other methods in the various places we've visited, and there's almost nothing that really matches the speed and efficiency of it that doesn't have nasty side effects, and none of them work if the person is dead. I've seen Nations come back from being burned to death or blasted to smithereens, which short of some really nasty magics is basically impossible for humans."

"You can't die?" Matthew asked.

"We're ideas," Canada confirmed with an understanding smile. "It's a lot harder to kill those than it is to kill a person, especially if they're linked to ingrained cultural concepts."

"The seasons are probably the oldest personifications on the planet if the planets themselves aren't," America added. "Since they're what humans were dealing with way before they ever thought of things like countries or territories."

"Huh," Alfred sat back thoughtfully, trying to parse out the idea.

Canada took advantage to ask his next question. "What decided your houses for you? I thought Alfred would be a shoo in for Gryffindor at least."

"Arthur Kirkland," The human American muttered. "Gryffindor's star player and a real asshole - I met him on the train as a first year and didn't want anything to do with him, so when I had the choice I went to Ravenclaw instead."

"I just wanted to do well at first," Matthew spoke up next. "But then I saw how badly muggleborns like me were treated and I wanted to do something about it, so I sort of ended up in Slytherin."

"I couldn't stop laughing once I found out what was going on in that house, honestly," Alfred grinned. "I'm pretty sure everyone aside from my roommate thinks he's a halfblood because our parents are married and we look kinda similar, and I'm really looking forward to them finding out after we graduate with top scores in all our classes."

"A noble cause if I've ever heard one," America grinned. "What're your goals then?"

"I'm gonna invent cool shit and become famous… with Ivan's help, I guess."

"Ivan?" America raised an eyebrow.

"My roommate," Alfred explained. "He and his sisters are exchange students from Durmstrang, since they're the kids of the Russian diplomat to Britain."

"Huh," The American personification muttered. "For us he's Russia, and his sisters are Ukraine and Belarus. Fairly cool people, aside from the whole Commie thing they had going on for a while."

"Ivan was an ass at first," Alfred agreed. "But then we realized we could make cooler shit together than we did trying to oneup each other, so we joined forces and now we're cool."

Both countries snorted in amusement. "Sounds like a fun story."

"More like a mess," Matthew lamented. "First year was horrible to go through, and I didn't even share classes with them most of the time. It's a wonder they didn't blow up the school or at least their dorms before winter break."

"That is a story I have to hear."

Alfred ducked his head and blushed, knowing the innocent smile on Matthew's face hid a smug grin at embarrassing him again with this story.

"Well, it started on Christmas Eve…"

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AN: Because every fandom must by law have at least a hundred 'characters go to Hogwarts' fics in the crossover section, or else it can't be considered a real fandom. Of course there's the two variants of 'mcs are normal kids going to magical high school' versions or the 'harry potter defensive squad' versions, so that's a thing.

...not as funny as I'd hoped, and yes I just used my own HP x-over just because reasons. Shrugs.