Chapter 17: The Talk

Draco woke first and was careful to not disturb Harry as he got out of bed. He tip-toed down the hall toward the bathroom, his head spinning. Shit, he thought as he staggered to the side and clawed the wall for support. Slowly, he slid down the wall and, once on the floor, leaned against it. Draco tried to focus on the stone floor, but the room appeared to be spinning. He lay down on the stone and curled into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut. It didn't help. Nothing he did would make the terrible sensation go away. A scream tried to force its way up his throat, but Draco swallowed it. Gooseflesh prickled across his back as a cool draft licked his skin. He shivered, wishing he'd brought a blanket with him. Footsteps echoed through the hall. When Draco opened his eyes, he couldn't see anything but black spots. Instinctually, he curled into a ball and closed his eyes again. "Draco, it's me," a faraway voice said softly. He felt a warm and on his back and a rush of air as something lay down beside him. Shaking arms wrapped around his shoulders and gently pulled him back into a solid chest. Draco inhaled deeply and smelled Harry's sent. He leaned back into his lover's chest and tried to speak, but his mouth couldn't seem to form the words. "Shhh," Harry breathed, sensing Draco's struggle. "You don't have to speak. I'll be right back," he said as he eased himself out from under the blonde. Draco made a panicked noise. "I'm just getting you a peach," he whispered as he padded to the kitchen.

He returned to find the Slytherin clutching the blanket as though his life depended on it. "Are you dizzy?" He asked as he knelt down beside him. Draco nodded and loosened his grip slightly. "You need to eat this," he said, sliding the blonde's head into his lap. Draco leaned back so his shoulders were even with Harry's hips; propping himself up just enough to eat comfortably. Harry handed him the fruit and he nibbled on it quietly. The dizziness started to subside, but came back sporadically in waves. Each time one hit, Harry hugged Draco close—reassuringly.

Finally, Draco felt strong enough to pull himself into a sitting position, and did so. Harry scooched over so the blonde could lean against the wall too. He stared into the sad, grey eyes. "What?" Draco asked with a scratchy voice.

"You're beautiful, Draco. You will always be beautiful," he whispered as he caressed the Slytherin's ribs.

"As are you," he replied, nuzzling into Harry's neck.

"I hate to break up this moment; but as I said last night, we have things to discuss," Severus said, making both Draco and Harry jump.

"Right," the Gryffindor said, standing. He offered a hand to Draco, who took it gratefully. Snape walked to the library, expecting them to follow.

Once they were all seated, Sev took a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to think of how to start. He'd rehearsed it so many times but found the words didn't fit anymore. He stood and paced before the fireplace. Severus looked at the two solemn boys on his couch then turned and stared into the flames, trying to forget their looks of sorrow and regret. "Sev?" Harry asked questioningly and the man spun around. "I know you're going to talk about our eating… or lack thereof…" Draco turned to the Gryffindor with a look of shock. "And I just wanted to start by saying that… I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asked with a scratchy voice.

"I'm sorry that I was denied food every day at the Dursleys and that it became habit. They taught me to believe I wasn't worthy of the food of their table. Even though, now, I know I can...and should… eat, I don't because I feel guilty every time I do." Harry wasn't sure exactly why he was telling Snape all of this. A small part of him hoped it would help Draco open up. Another part of him hoped that Sev would tell him something to help make the guilt go away. The blonde stared at him, expressionless. Harry couldn't bring himself to look at Snape. But if he had, he would have seen the momentary look of pity, followed by a second of anger. Before he could speak, Draco did.

"Harry, they're wrong. Please don't listen to those bloody muggles," he said, taking the Gryffindor's hand in his. "I fear my reasons are… less valid… I was bullied as a child for being overweight. By my father as well. He frequently criticized my weight and never bought me sweets. So I went out on my own, bought them with my allowance, and ate them at school… But then… I stopped buying them, I lost interest in candy when I started taking notice of other guys and how nice they looked. I wanted to look like them, to see my ribs, to have nice abs and porcelain skin. I learned spells to clear up my horrible acne and to increase my metabolism, but they only worked for so long. Finally, I started working out every day and eating little more than a celery stick. I never noticed how dizzy I was until one day… I fainted. I was on the floor in front of my mirror and happened to look up and see what I'd become: exactly what I wanted. I stopped eating on the days I didn't work out… then my figure started shifting from muscular to skeletal… and I liked it… and now here I am," he concluded, defeated.

Harry pulled Draco into a hug. "Your problems are no less valid than mine—"

"Indeed, they are both concerning. And now we need to figure out how to fix them, don't we," Severus said, jumping back into the conversation. The two on the couch looked down at the floor. "I'm not mad," he said more gently. Harry slowly rose his head to look at the man before him. "I know it won't be fixed overnight, but I'm willing to help you. Both of you," he added and Draco looked up as well. "Are you willing to try?" He inquired.

"Yes," Harry said determinedly. He was ready to get over his irrational aversion to food—and to further separate himself from what the Dursleys had taught him. He looked over at Draco who was playing with the string of his sweatpants.

"And what about you?" Severus asked, looking at the blonde.

"I guess I can try," he mumbled. Draco didn't want to lose the figure he'd worked years achieving. He hated the feeling of food in his body, it made him feel fat, bloated, and just all around disgusting.

"Alright," Snape said softly, knowing that was the best he'd get from Draco. "Come on, let's go get some breakfast. What do you guys want?"

"Fruit sounds great," the two said simultaneously before breaking into laughter. Severus smirked at them as he turned to walk to the kitchen. Harry stood to go but Draco lingered on the couch.

"What's wrong?" He asked the Slytherin.

"I—"

"Are you two coming?" He called from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" Harry replied as he looked at Draco expectantly, still wanting to hear what he was going to say.

"I'll tell you later. Promise," he added when Harry looked as though he didn't believe him.

"Alright," he said softly. "Let's go!" He smirked and held out his arm to Draco. The blond looped his arm though Harry's, allowing him to escort him to the kitchen.