3.
Sam took a deep breath to steady her nerves and quickly assessed her choice of attire one last time. She wore a deep, almost black, purple cowl neck sweater with dropped shoulders and rolled hem over a black silk camisole and black stretch knit skirt falling just above the knee. She paired it with calf-length black leather boots and accessorized with an exquisite pair of platinum Art Deco emerald and diamond drop earrings Alexis had given her their first Christmas together. She really didn't have any other jewelry to speak of as she'd long since sold any trinkets from rich boyfriends to pay for repairs to the Lazarus or tuition for Danny's school.
She always figured jewelry a waste of money since she never really wore any aside from the emerald and diamond Art Deco ring her father had given her just before she ran away. It too, was set in platinum. Alexis noticed the ring seemed to be Sam's favorite piece and thought the earrings would compliment it nicely. Sam smiled. Alexis didn't know the story behind the ring and couldn't possibly have known how right she'd been, how nice it felt to wear the earrings and ring together, almost like her family was together.
Sam adjusted her open dress coat as the frigid air worked its way through her protective outer layer. Part of her hoped the outfit met with her mother's approval, hoped she met with her mother's approval, and another part hated that she even cared. Still, it was a feeling that stayed with her no matter how much she wished it away. Sam fantasized for years her mother would find her and tell her the adoption had all been some big mistake, tell her she loved her and wanted her ,and her father, and never gave up looking for her.
She just knew her mother's love would be the one thing to save her dad and set him straight again. He was a good man at heart. He'd just lost his way and Sam was just too young to know how to help him, but she knew, she knew her mother would make all the difference in their lives. Of course then reality always set in to remind her it was all a childish dream. Growing up, she'd look around at her dismal surroundings, or worse, look at herself in a mirror and see the girl that wasn't good enough for a mother's love and her father's words would ring clear in her ears. The only person you can count on in this world is yourself.
When her mother finally tracked her down, it only served to further reinforce her worst fears. Sam wasn't good enough for her mother unless she could save the child that was. Sam didn't think her mother intentionally cruel, but her words and dismissive actions cut to the quick sometimes. It wasn't until after Kristina's kidnapping Sam learned more about Alexis' childhood from her talks with Nik and she began to understand her mother's inability to express emotion toward her was likely more about Alexis' own experiences and guilt rather than her shame at having the likes of her as a daughter.
Even with that knowledge, Sam still couldn't shake the feeling she somehow didn't belong. She didn't fit in with her mother's life. It was so different from everything Sam knew and how she lived and even if Alexis didn't mean to be hurtful, she still had the ability to make her feel completely unworthy. One well-placed criticism and Sam's self-esteem plummeted. She resented the fact that anyone held that power over her. She'd tried desperately to deny it, yet there she was fidgeting over her clothes on her mother's front porch and feeling completely powerless once again to the overwhelming need for her mother's love and approval.
Sam hated feeling powerless. It reminded her of that dark period when she first started out on her own, but it wasn't something she was familiar feeling as the master thief and con-woman Cody McCall raised who was used to taking what she wanted. She was tempted to resort to her old ways. Sam knew all too well the importance clothing played in selling the mark. After all, a con never dealt in substance. It was all about presentation and Sam McCall made for one hell of an irresistible little package when she wanted. The trouble was the night wasn't about working a mark. It was about bonding with her family and to do that required her to be herself, something she still wasn't very comfortable revealing. As long as she played a role, she never felt rejected. If someone didn't like her, it was the persona and not the person.
It was tough not resorting to old habits when Sam felt vulnerable like now. She hated that faking it wouldn't get her what she wanted this time; a real family connection. It was hard, but she wasn't afraid of hard work. What she feared was finally being real with the family she'd always wanted and once again not being good enough, or just plain wrong. She'd never felt just right for anyone, certainly not with any of her ex-lovers or for her father who always needed her to be more of this or more of that for their con to work. Her step-mother never paid attention long enough to care one way or another and even with her brother, Danny, she wasn't enough. No matter how hard she tried, Danny simply required counseling beyond her capability.
So, as she stood outside her mother's front door sneaking a peek at her new family inside, she found herself wondering if she would ever be enough for them, or anyone. She'd thought maybe Jason, but... No. She wasn't going to think about him anymore tonight.
The french glass door opened in front of her and a rush of warm air escaped, bringing her focus to the dark-haired man greeting her. "I thought that was you. What are you doing just standing out here? It's freezing!"
Sam smiled at her handsome cousin. "Maybe I'm finally embracing my crazy. I am part Cassadine, you know."
Nikolas laughed. "Or maybe you were thinking of dropping the gifts and making a run for it?"
"And miss seeing your handsome mug? I really would have to be certifiable to deprive myself of that." Nik chuckled at her sweet teasing.
He pulled her into a hug as she stepped inside and felt her place a kiss on his cheek. "It's good to see you again. Nobody makes me laugh like you."
Sam struggled with her bags full of packages as she hugged her cousin back. "You're telling me there's not one single subject in all the land able to keep his royal highness properly entertained aside from me?"
"Exactly, so if you want the job it's yours. How soon can you start?" Sam set the bags down near the table inside the door as Nik closed it behind her.
"Huh, what is the going rate for court jesters these days and will I have to wear the funny hat?" Sam pulled her gloves and scarf off and laid them over her coat now in Nik's arms.
"If it means keeping you in town, name your price. I'm afraid the funny hat is a must, however. We Cassadines mustn't waiver on tradition." Nikolas finished in his most mockingly regal tone.
Sam had a way of making him feel at ease in his own skin which was something no one other than Emily had ever managed, until now. He was thankful Emily broke through his stubborn shield of distrust and convinced him to give a relationship with his long lost cousin a chance.
"Careful what you wish for." Sam winked at him before turning her attention to Emily who stood by enjoying their exchange.
"Sam, welcome home. You look lovely." Emily greeted her with a warm grin and hug.
"Thank you, so do you. What a beautiful bracelet." Sam couldn't help notice it as the light shimmered against all those diamonds and garnets.
She was really glad to see Emily. She'd been one of the first to welcome her with open arms when she first arrived. Sam had often wondered when Nik might make an honest woman out of her. They'd been dating exclusively since she first met them and, truthfully, she was a little surprised they hadn't yet married.
"Thank you. Nikolas gave it to me tonight for my birthday." Sam followed Emily's loving gaze to find Nikolas just as enthralled with Emily. Definitely madly in love. Marriage couldn't be far off now. Her happiness faltered a bit at the thought of another wedding, for Emily's brother. She wondered if Emily knew. She must. She was probably happy for her brother too. Why wouldn't she be? Sam supposed she really couldn't fault Emily if she was, but the thought still hurt a bit that anyone could be happy for Jason with anyone other than her.
"Wait, Emily, isn't your birthday in January?" Sam could have sworn she remembered Nikolas trying to convince her to stay a few weeks longer last year for Emily's party.
"Yes, that's one thing you should know about your cousin, Sam. Nikolas is terrible at keeping surprises." Emily smiled and accepted Nikolas' arm around her waist with her hand at his back.
"Is it my fault the prospect of eliciting your smile is too irresistible to deny? Surely you wouldn't have me endure the torture of waiting a whole two months?" Nik grinned and kissed Emily on her ear causing her to blush and Sam smiled for their happiness.
"Sam, you're here! You're here!" An excited Kristina rushed into the living room with Alexis smiling as she watched her run into Sam's embrace.
"Of course! I told you I wouldn't miss my sister's birthdays for anything in the world." Sam knelt down to her little sister's level and hugged her tight.
"You did. You kept your promise and I'm so happy." Kristina didn't want to let her sister go, so Sam scooped her up and held her on her hip with a kiss on her little cheek.
"I'm so glad you made it safely Sam, but please tell me you didn't ride the death mobile here in that." Alexis paused to take note of her skirt and boots before giving Sam a hug.
The gesture still felt awkward for both of them, but at least it didn't feel forced as it had last year and the year before. Things had changed between them after Kristina's kidnapping. It reminded them what really mattered and how quickly it could all be lost and caused them both to loosen up with one another a little, though they still had a long way to go.
Sam tried to remember the progress they'd made and override her first reaction which was to take offense at the criticism about her choice of transportation and possibly her choice of dress. Sam wasn't sure if Alexis approved of her outfit, or not, with that look. "It's a motorcycle, not a death mobile and no. A taxi dropped me off."
"A taxi!" Alexis shook her head clearly disgusted and leaving no doubt of her disapproval that time. "Sam, why didn't you call me?"
"Emily and I would have insisted you ride with us if we'd known. I should have thought of it." Nik sighed. "You know, I think you should have a car and driver while you're here."
"That's an excellent idea Nikolas. Sam shouldn't be driving that road hazard on wheels during the months of the worst weather Port Charles has to offer. I have palpitations every time I picture her on it. I just know that thing is going to be the death of her." Nik nodded in complete agreement.
Sam felt her teeth grinding behind her smile. Her shield was up. The disarming smile was fake and she knew she needed to be real now, but it was hard. Why she ever told her mother about her new purchase she still didn't know? Alexis had been determined to talk her into selling her bike every since. She knew they were only showing their concern. She should love them for it and she did deep down; somewhere she was sure, somewhere deep deep down. She'd probably even miss it if it weren't there, but it was a harsh adjustment to go from only having herself to answer to most of the year to what awaited her in Port Charles each fall. Sam took a deep breath and prepared to stand her ground. She was a strong independent woman perfectly capable of arranging her own transportation and she wouldn't pretend to be someone she wasn't even if it ruffled her family's feathers.
Fortunately, Emily spoke up before feathers went flying. "Would you listen to the two of them Sam? I mean, to hear them talk I don't know how you made it safe across town tonight let alone safely navigate your ship around the world and back!"
Emily looked first to Nikolas then Alexis with a raised brow as if to challenge any argument they might make.
Nik was the first to cave with a head tilt acknowledging Emily. "Point taken."
He paused. "But Sam there will be a car and driver ready and waiting at your disposal at all times from now on." Sam opened her mouth to argue, but Nikolas quickly added. "Whether you choose to use it, of course, is entirely up to you."
Sam caught the sly grin forming at the edges of his mouth and couldn't help bite her cheek to keep from doing the same at how clever he thought he was. He was as stubborn as she was and every bit as competitive. It was nice finding things in common with him, with her family. As quickly as her frustration with him had been found, it was lost again.
"I know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, Sam. I do, but it doesn't stop me from worrying. Please, for me, at least if the weather isn't good use the car and driver." Sam saw genuine concern in her mother's eyes and softened a bit. It really was a simple request...
"Alright, for you. Thanks Nik." Sam shot a wry smile at her cousin who knew better than to rub his small victory in with words and simply nodded instead just as Kristina noticed the bags with wrapped gifts pouring out of them.
"Sam, what's that?" Kristina pointed.
"What's what?" Sam teased.
"In those bags, I see presents. Are they for me?" Kristina's eyes were alight with hope.
"Kristina, sweetie, today is your sister's birthday. Remember? We discussed this earlier." Alexis reminded softly.
It was Molly's first birthday and Kristina still wasn't quite used to sharing the spotlight. Krissy's smile fell as she nodded glumly. "I remember mommy."
"Mom is right. It is Molly's special day, but it's also our anniversary. It's the 3rd anniversary of the day we first found each other. You're the reason I found my family, Kristina, and I think that deserves to be celebrated too. So, there may be a little something over there in that bag for you today also." Sam's smile stretched wide as she watched her little sister's eyes light back up.
"Really?" Kristina squealed.
Sam nodded confirmation as she smiled at her. "But you'll have to wait until after the birthday girl opens her gifts before you open yours."
"Okay!" Krissy agreed cheerfully. "I'll get her. She's upstairs with daddy Ric for a new diaper."
Kristina hopped down from Sam's hold and was off running, oblivious to her mother as Alexis tried to explain it wasn't as simple as Molly coming downstairs and tearing into her presents right away. They would have dinner and cake first.
xxxxx
"All I'm saying is this is an election year, after all. Appointing fresh blood to the position could only help the mayor's re-election campaign." Sam listened to Ric with feigned interest as she polished off her remaining gulp of wine wishing like hell it was something stronger.
She prayed her facial expression didn't appear as bored as she felt now that the topic of politics had taken over and the funnest guests had been sent to bed. Granted Sam had no experience with birthday parties since she'd never had a real one of her own, but if asked she would have rated tonight a success, at least the first half anyway. Alexis and Ric invited only the people closest in Molly's life to celebrate her first birthday. It was family only really with Alexis, Ric, Emily, Nikolas, Kristina and Sam, but Molly hadn't seemed to mind the small guest list. Viola had been invited as well, but she'd been sick the last couple of days and was unable to make it.
Alexis would have invited Michael and Morgan too, but Sonny had sent Carly and the boys to the island for what he'd told Alexis was a much needed vacation. Ric, however, was convinced there must be some new threat in town. The notion that Sonny had protected the boys by sending them away while leaving Kristina a sitting duck without even warning her mother had initiated a twenty minute tirade. It was at that point Sam had asked Kristina to show her to her room to see her new tea set.
Other than that, they'd had a wonderful dinner where Kristina insisted on sitting next to Sam and chatting her ear off. She wanted to know all about her adventures since she'd seen her last. It was at that point Sam decided to make her announcement rather than weave some false tale. Their reactions were overwhelming. Kristina had asked for further explanation and when she realized Sam starting a business in Port Charles meant her big sister was staying permanently she'd nearly squeezed the air out of her in a tight hug as she jumped in her seat.
Emily seemed thrilled as well and immediately suggested a party to celebrate her new business venture and homecoming. Alexis was moved to tears she was so happy, but in her very next breath she was questioning the danger of her oldest daughter's new line of work. Nikolas was apprehensive as well, but pointed out it had to be less dangerous than salvage work. He wanted the address of the office space she'd leased to make sure it was a safe location. He planned to call to his realtor as well to help Sam find a suitable home and offered for her to stay at Wyndemere.
At that point, Alexis couldn't help remind Sam she was welcome to stay with them as well. It was, after all, why she'd bought that big house on the lake in the first place. Alexis wanted Sam to know her mother's home would always have a place for all of her children. She'd even furnished and decorated a room just for Sam, though she had yet to use it. Ric remained quiet throughout, almost calculatingly so. Sam actually thought she could see his wheels spinning as he smiled and wondered what he might be thinking. She thanked both Alexis and Nik, but informed them she already had a place to stay on her new boat down at the marina.
Of course that had sparked a whole new set of questions. Alexis balked when Sam mentioned the name of the marina. She said "Sons of Neptune" sounded more like a questionable two star seafood shack than a safe place for her daughter to reside. Sam explained the owner was former Navy and the name was a sailor thing, but Ric agreed the marina at their country club had to be nicer and was definitely a more suitable choice for the daughter of the District Attorney. Nikolas was also a member of the Port Charles Country Club and assured Sam he'd have her name added to the family membership the next morning so she could have her boat moored there by nightfall.
She'd breathed deep and again declined their generous offers. She gave Emily a grateful smile upon seeing her hand squeeze Nik's shoulder, effectively halting further argument. Alexis relented temporarily too deciding to reserve final judgment until after she'd seen the place with her own eyes. Sam also heard her mention something about pulling statistical data on crimes in the area and the marina's safety records on file with the county and state to compare with the other two marinas in town.
The rest of the dinner had been uneventful once her mother, cousin and Emily settled down with their plans for her, but the mood remained elevated after her announcement. Alexis hadn't stopped smiling at Sam and she had to admit it felt good to feel wanted. Sam hoped she wouldn't do anything to screw it up, but the fear was justified. She'd never been able to hold on to anything good for long. Sam was happy her sisters were there to distract her from those fears. She'd watched as Molly dug face first into her first piece of cake ever and fought to hold back her laugh as Alexis struggled with allowing Molly to make a mess of it. Sam was glad she'd remembered her camera. She got some great photos of and with her family throughout the night, but what was even better were the great memories she'd made.
"My apologies Samantha. We must be boring you to tears." All eyes were on her with Ric's statement and Sam realized she'd completely zoned out of the conversation for the last several minutes.
"Not at all Ric." Sam smiled.
Okay. It was a lie, but it would have been rude to admit another ten minutes of the snooze-fest he called stimulating conversation would put her in a coma.
"Really?" Ric's tone held surprise and challenge within it. "Then perhaps you might share your thoughts on the matter?"
"Sam doesn't really know Mac, or much about him. It's hardly fair to expect her to have an educated opinion." Alexis defended.
"On the contrary, Alexis, she holds an objectivity none of us here may claim. Please Samantha, I'd be interested to know if you feel a man with as many noted failures as Commissioner Scorpio deserves to maintain his position simply because 'He's a fair man with a good heart'?"
Alexis made a face at him for using her words against her and Sam felt a sudden desire to put Ric in his place. The condescension in his tone was subtle, but Sam picked up on it and didn't appreciate him speaking to her or her mother that way. She also hated that he still insisted on calling her by her full name even after she'd reminded him several times she preferred Sam. "Well, Richard," Sam smiled inside when his jaw clenched over being addressed that way. "You know what they say, better the devil you know than the angel you don't."
"Well said Sam. You know she makes an excellent point. Who's to say any replacement would or could do any better? Mac knows this town and its players better than most residents of Port Charles and certainly better than anyone brought in from the outside. He has a vested interest in maintaining the peace and before we start suggesting the mayor point fingers we should remember there's more than enough blame to pass around for the fact that a case hasn't been won yet against Sonny." Alexis and Ric were off and running again with Nikolas interjecting here and there.
Emily stated her support of Mac early on and appeared to be as done with the conversation now as Sam. "So Sam, when do you open your doors for business?"
"In just a few days. I'm meeting the realtor tomorrow to get the keys and I plan to take some measurements for furniture and window treatments while I'm there." Sam had a long list of things to do, but couldn't wait to get started.
"Well if you need anything, let me know. I'd be happy to help with shopping, coordinating deliveries or pointing you in the right direction if you have any questions." Emily offered.
"Thanks Em. I may take you up on that if you're sure you won't be too busy." Nik had mentioned all the long hours Emily was required to put in as a medical resident.
"You're practically family Sam. I'll always have time for you." The words were heartfelt and unexpected. Sam was unaccustomed to anyone feeling such an emotion toward her let alone expressing it freely. She didn't really know what to say, so she just swallowed and nodded with a warm smile.
Sam was good for Nikolas, and her brother. Emily wanted to do everything she could to help make Port Charles feel like home for Sam. For a while Emily thought Sam might be family in more ways than one. Emily knew she and Nikolas were headed toward marriage, but she'd seen a connection between Sam and Jason last year as well. It was a connection deeper than she'd seen her brother share with anyone before, even Robin. She'd noticed a spark the first time she saw them together two years ago at the New Year's Eve ball and had pointed it out to Nikolas who told her she was seeing things. Emily swore she knew better and after the way Sam had been there for her brother when he nearly died and again when they thought Michael had been killed, Emily was convinced Sam and Jason were meant to be together.
In fact, Emily had planned to make it her mission to get the two of them together finally when Sam returned home this time. Only, it hadn't worked out that way and no one had been more shocked by the turn of events than Emily when her best friend told her Jason had proposed to her and they were having a baby. Something about it didn't set right, but she knew her brother and no one made Jason Morgan do anything he didn't want. He must want to marry Elizabeth and if they were having a baby together he must love her, so Emily had decided to keep her concerns to herself. Elizabeth was her best friend and she was marrying her brother and pregnant with his child. She was making Emily and aunt and she couldn't help being excited about it. So, Emily pushed those nagging feelings down deep and decided to be happy for her brother and best friend. She was even helping plan the wedding, but only because Elizabeth appointed her maid of honor and it would have been rude and hurtful to make her real feelings known.
Still, she knew her brother's choices would be hard for Sam. She'd never revealed any feelings for her brother deeper than friendship, but Emily could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice whenever Sam spoke of Jason. She was in love with him. Emily hated the thought of Sam knowing any more pain in her life. Sam had only shared bits and pieces with her, but what she knew was so lonely and tragic. She wanted her new friend to find the kind of happiness she had with Nikolas and though she'd never tell anyone, her secret wish was that Sam would find it with Jason. Until then, Emily planned to keep Sam far too busy with parties and shopping and family fun to dwell on what might have been with Jason.
"If you'll all please excuse me, I want to run up and check on the girls." Alexis removed her napkin from her lap and placed it on the table.
"Oh, would you mind... I mean, would it be alright if I went with you?" Sam was hesitant to ask, but couldn't resist the idea of just one more peek at her little sisters. Just one look at them made her happy and filled with hope.
"Of course it's alright. Why don't you go on ahead while I make a bottle? I'll be up right behind you. If I switch the first bottle out before I go to bed Molly sleeps through the night without waking me for seconds." Alexis explained as she rose from the table and retrieved her used silverware, plate and glass.
Sam smiled and nodded. "Thanks."
"Don't be silly. They're your family too Sam. You don't need permission." Alexis dismissed her daughter's needless worry as she headed for the kitchen.
"I think I'll just give Alexis a hand." Ric said as he grabbed his and Sam's plates and followed Alexis.
"Oh, I'll help. I insist." Emily chimed in taking hers and Nikolas' plates too.
"I'll only be a minute, Nik. I know you and Emily have an early day tomorrow." She'd agreed to ride back to the marina with them and didn't want to hold them up.
Nikolas smiled. Sam had long ago dropped the "Prince" from the irritating "Prince Nik" as she'd called him when they first clashed, but she still called him Nik. She was the only one that did, but he kind of liked it. It made him feel like a regular guy, more approachable.
"No worries. Take your time. Emily will spend the next half hour saying goodbye anyway." Nik grumbled, but Sam could tell from the love in his voice that he wasn't really bothered by Emily's tendency to chatter.
Sam just smiled knowingly and shook her head at him.
"Hopeless, hopelessly in love." She shouted back as she walked toward the stairs.
"Indeed." Nikolas agreed to no one as he finished off the last of the bottle of wine. He was now the only soul left in the room.
Sam wasn't sure how she'd managed to do it, but her baby sister was sound asleep sideways in her crib with her little legs sticking through the side rails and hanging over the edge of the mattress.
"Oh, baby girl, that can't be comfortable." Sam whispered as she delicately freed her legs and adjusted her in her crib.
Molly stirred briefly before settling again with her fingers absently rubbing the tag on her favorite baby blanket. Sam covered her tiny body with it and placed a kiss on her fingertips and then to Molly's little cheek as she leaned over to retrieve the empty bottle in the far corner of the crib. She breathed in her sweet baby lotion scent with a hint of lavender and relaxed as that precious baby's peaceful being filled her with a sense of total contentment for that brief moment in time. She wished the feeling could last forever.
It ended abruptly, however, as Sam straightened and swallowed her scream at feeling the heat of another body so close it was nearly pressed against her back. She turned her head quickly and the peacefulness was replaced with a sick unease as she found it was Ric. She was unable to mask her initial fright followed by confusion as he smiled down at her with the eyes of a hungry wolf.
Sam McCall was a drug and he'd been hooked the moment he laid eyes on her. She was a guilty pleasure and he'd cursed his luck for not having met her before he'd married her mother. Ric tried to keep his eyes from undressing her every time she walked into a room. He really did, but he was too far gone at the moment to care. He'd sat across the table from her luscious cleavage the last several hours, unable to stop imagining how his face would feel pressed between it. And the way Sam's tight black skirt clung to her hips and outlined her perfectly toned ass when she walked made him hard.
The last two years he'd managed to keep his dirty secret to himself for the few torturous months she stayed in town, but now she would be there all year round, in his home, in his face and in his hottest fantasies he was sure. It was wrong, so very wrong and that only made him hotter for her. He wanted her and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but the temptation was just too great to fight tonight. So when the opportunity presented itself, Ric jumped or rather slithered stealthily at the chance to steal an intimate moment with his grown step-daughter.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." Ric leaned in to whisper in her ear as his hands steadied on her upper arms.
Sam felt the hot breath in her ear as she turned her face from him when he leaned in. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was drunk and it reminded her of other nights with other drunk men who'd lost their control with her. She felt sick to her stomach and chill bumps ran up the back of her neck from her arms where his hot hands touched her. She fought to maintain her cool. Sam felt incredibly vulnerable and was struck with an overwhelming need to pretend it wasn't happening. She wanted to believe she was only transferring the horrible experiences of her past onto the innocent awkwardness of that moment, but every instinct she had told her she knew better.
"I came to give Molly her bottle." Ric's empty hand stayed on Sam holding her in place as he leaned over her shoulder and into her body to lay the bottle down near Molly's hand.
Sam felt him brush against her backside and froze. Part of her wanted to turn around, slap him and shove him away from her, but she was shocked by his boldness. Something in the way he'd looked at her since the day they first met always made her uneasy, but he'd never been that blatantly aggressive.
"I was just on my way out." Sam stepped away from him and hoped her quavering voice didn't belie her emotion. She wasn't excited at his unwarranted advances in the least. It was fear and repulsion.
"Of course." Ric whispered sickeningly sweet. "I didn't say it earlier, but I just wanted to take a moment to make you feel welcome, Sam. Welcome home." Ric leaned in to hug her as Sam stiffened in his arms.
She tried to pull out of his embrace to keep a distance between their bodies. She thought she may have felt his hardness against her and nearly gagged.
"I better not keep Nik waiting." It was the first thing that popped into her head to excuse herself without making a scene and she practically ran down the hall ducking into her little sister's room and closing the door quickly behind her.
Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest and suddenly she was sixteen years old again and the face of that man she'd accepted the ride from haunted her. The features of his face were nothing like Ric's, except for the lust in his eyes. She wiped her tears and tried to regain control of her rapid pulse.
"Are you okay?" It was a little whisper from behind her.
Sam turned to see Krissy's little face full of worry.
She took a deep breath. "I'm fine now, sweet girl, now that I'm here with you, but aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"
"I can't." Kristina confessed.
"Why ever not?" Sam said as she sat at her little sister's bedside.
"I forgot to ask you something and my head keeps guessing." Kristina fiddled with the edge of her top sheet and quilt as she looked up wide-eyed at her sister.
"Well, we can't have you guessing all night. An adorable princess like you needs her beauty sleep." Sam smoothed Kristina's brows as she spoke softly. "So what's this question you forgot to ask?"
"What's the name of your ship now? Is it the Lazarus too?" Kristina was so excited to hear her sister was moving to town forever that she forgot all about all the questions she had about her new boat.
Sam's light laughter prevented her from hearing the door open behind her. She didn't realize her mother stood by quietly observing her beautiful daughters.
"I named my new boat 'Danny's Lullaby'." Sam answered.
"Oh." Kristina nodded as if she completely understood the reasoning. "Why?"
Sam continued in a soothing voice. "You remember when I told you about my brother, Danny?"
Kristina nodded thoughtfully and Sam began to run her fingers through Krissy's long hair.
"Well, one thing I don't think I ever mentioned was that he had the most beautiful voice when he sang. It was soft and smooth and filled with so much emotion your heart would burst just listening." Sam shared.
"Really?" Krissy loved when Sam talked about her brother. She never met him, but Sam told her how he was her guardian angel in heaven and watching out for Sam. Kristina loved Danny for protecting the big sister she'd always wanted.
"Yes and he used to sing lullabies at night when we had trouble falling asleep. He sang them even when we were all grown up and the only thing that ever rocked me to sleep as gently as his voice is the ocean when I'm adrift at sea." Sam explained.
"So when the waves rock you to sleep it's like Danny's singing you his lullaby?"
"That's exactly right."
"Sam?" Kristina's brows furrowed.
"Yeah." Sam's hand rested over Kristina's heartbeat and she felt her own body relax from Ric's upset.
"It's a nice name. I really like it." Kristina yawned a sweet little yawn.
"Thanks Krissy. I do too." Sam breathed in the peacefulness she didn't think she'd feel again tonight.
"Would you sing me one of Danny's lullabies, Sam?" Kristina wished Danny could sing for them.
"Oh, Krissy. I don't know... My voice isn't as good as Danny's. It isn't very good at all really." Sam wished her brother was still alive so he could sing for Kristina.
"Please Sam. I want to hear one of his lullabies. What was his favorite?" Kristina begged.
"Alright, just for you. He loved a bunch of songs, but his favorite lullaby was called Whale Song. He told me he loved it best because it's how he pictured me when I was away from him sailing on my boat. Okay. Here goes." Sam began to sing and Alexis' heart swelled as she caught a rare glimpse into her first born daughter's childhood and into her well-guarded heart.
"Last night I had a dream - It was so plain to see - I was swimming in the ocean - So far out at sea - I was not scared or breathless - But filled with oh such joy - A whale was swimming beside me - And telling me her tale." Sam's voice broke with emotion as she sang. She hadn't allowed herself to think of that song since her brother died.
Alexis' heart ached for her daughter. Her voice was beautiful and she didn't even realize just how well she sang. It brought tears to her eyes to think she'd inherited that voice from her mother, Sam's grandmother, two of the most precious people in her life stolen from her at the hands of the Cassadines. Only fortunately, she'd been blessed with a second chance with her daughter.
"Her body shone like coal dust - Her movements like a swan - I clung onto her side - The journey just begun - She rolled onto her back - I clung with all my might - But this gentle watery giant - Had no desire to fright." Sam gently caressed Kristina's little back as she turned to snuggle into Sam's body where she sat.
"She sang of distant oceans - Of corals bright and clean - And brightly colored fishes - Unlike I'd ever seen - She sang her many stories - And told of wondrous sights - She sang that I should go home - And sleep the long good night." Kristina's eyes began to droop as she fought to keep them open.
"Last night I had a dream - It was so plain to see - I was swimming in the ocean - So far out at sea - I was not scared or breathless - But filled with oh such joy - A whale was swimming beside me - And telling me her tale." Sam ended the lullaby in a near whisper and wiped the tears from her eyes.
Alexis wanted to rush over to Sam and hold her. The song was beautiful and it broke her heart to picture her amazing daughter alone in the world with only her brother Danny to show her any semblance of real love. She wished she'd found her sooner, so she could have known Danny too and told him how she would forever be grateful to him for loving her daughter so good when Alexis had been unable to give her the love she deserved. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but they continued to fall.
"One more." Kristina barely whispered as her eyes fluttered open briefly. "Please."
"One more." Sam appeased. "This one was my favorite because it reminded me of my brother and now... my sisters too."
"The moon on the one hand - The dawn on the other - The moon is my sister - The dawn is my brother - The moon on my left hand - The dawn on my right - My brother good morning - My sister (sweet) goodnight." Kristina nodded off completely just as Sam finished the last line.
She leaned down and placed a kiss upon her forehead and tucked her covers around her tight before standing to return downstairs. When she turned she was startled to see the door open, but relieved to find Ric was nowhere to be found. She quickly made her way downstairs before she could be ambushed again.
She entered the living room to find Nikolas helping Emily with her coat. "Ah, there you are. Alexis' said she thought you'd be down any minute now so we thought we'd get our coats on."
Sam felt sudden relief knowing it was Alexis who'd been watching her with Krissy and not Ric. "Great, I'll grab mine as well and then we can be off as soon as you're ready."
"Alexis should be out in just a moment. She insisted on sending us all home with a giant slice of birthday cake." Nik informed.
"She's afraid if it stays in the house, she'll gain ten pounds." Emily giggled.
"I could eat that cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was so good it was sinful." And Sam knew exactly what she'd be having for breakfast over coffee in the morning.
"Nothing like the sweet taste of sin, is there Sam?" Ric walked in from the kitchen and handed her a container with her slice of cake.
"Thanks." Sam muttered avoiding eye contact and walked over toward the door on the other side of her cousin as she put her coat on.
Nikolas helped Sam with her coat as well.
"Thank you all for joining us. We look forward to having you... again." Ric glanced at Emily and Nikolas briefly before settling his gaze on Sam as he stressed the last sentence.
"Yes, it was so nice to spend some quality time with family." Alexis agreed as she made her way in from the kitchen.
"We had a wonderful time as always Alexis. Thank you both for having us. Next time we'll have to host." Emily smiled and looked to Nikolas.
"Yes, we'd love to have you over some time soon." Nikolas agreed.
"Just let us know the date and time and I'm sure we can work it into our schedules." Alexis had such a nice time she wished every night could be as nice.
She smiled inside remembering that Sam was now a permanent resident of Port Charles and she had so many more family dinners to look forward to all year long now. She couldn't wait to make up for lost time, especially since she didn't know how much time she may have left.
The prognosis for her cancer wasn't great, but she'd decided to focus on the celebration of her daughter's birth today. The discussion of her health could wait another day, though she wished she never had to tell Sam. How was she supposed to tell her that the mother who'd abandoned her at birth might be leaving her again, for good?
Nikolas and Emily exchanged brief hugs with Alexis then Alexis made her way to Sam. She pulled her daughter into her embrace and just held her tight for a moment. "I'm so glad you're home for good. I've missed you so much."
Sam hugged her mother back. She'd never felt that much love in a hug from her before and she didn't want it to end. "I missed you too."
Alexis whispered softly in her ear before she pulled away. "I wish so much I could have heard Danny sing, but you have a beautiful voice too."
Sam's breath caught. How much had Alexis heard? My mom thinks I have a beautiful voice, she wondered at the compliment. Sam didn't think so, but she loved that her mother did. It was exactly what the loving mother she'd always longed to have would have told her growing up.
"Thank you." Sam smiled through watery eyes.
Alexis nodded and gave her one last squeeze. "I love you."
Sam was too overwhelmed with emotions to say the words back, but she nuzzled a little closer into her mother's warmth just the same and hoped Alexis could feel just how much that moment meant to her.
Nik, Emily, and Sam rode home in relative quiet. It had been a long day and all three were pretty much talked out. Sam couldn't wait to sink into the covers of her big comfy new bed. She would push the ugly thoughts of Ric out of her mind and hold on to that feeling she'd had with Molly and Kristina, and her mother. Sam only hoped those sweet memories would help sleep find her as peacefully as it had her little sisters.
Page 18 of 18 Created: 2010-12-27 Updated: 2014-11-07 Words: 7743 Characters: 41996