DISCLAIMERS/NOTES

1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.

2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.

3. Just a reminder: the Supergirl in this story is not Kara Zor-El, but the post-Crisis Matrix with an altered backstory. For more information, see Disclaimers/Notes for the first chapter.

UP AT NIGHT

Mae Batson-Trix came out of her slumber stroking her wife's side of the bed... the side distinctly empty. The blonde shapeshifter raised herself off the mattress and looked around. "Mary?" Even in the darkness she could tell she was alone. Getting out of bed, Mae formed a dressing gown around herself - just incase Martha was awake too - and went downstairs. She soon entered the kitchen, and frowned at what she saw. Her spouse was standing still, looking out the window at the night sky.

"Oh," came Mary's whispered voice. She clearly saw Mae's reflection in the glass.

"Mary... " breathed the shapeshifter, "... are you alright?"

"Yeah," came the reply. "Just... couldn't sleep, that's all." She made no effort to turn to her wife, instead still facing the window. Mae silently approached the brunette twenty-year-old, then wrapped her arms tenderly around her. She rested her chin on Mary's shoulder, looking at her in the window. Taking a gulp, Mary spoke. "Had a... bad dream."

"Whatabout?" asked Mae.

The closing of Mary's eyes was telling. But her response was noncommittal. "Nothing. Just... I just... it doesn't matter." She then took Mae's hand in hers and raised it to her lips. However, the way she kissed the wedding ring on Mae's finger was another sign to the shapeshifter that was something was wrong. It was full of love, of course, but also... desperation. "You should get some rest," Mary said. "After what happened today."

Mae chuckled lightly. "Toyman isn't much of a threat, honey. I've faced much worse." However, she frowned again when she saw her wife's reflection. Mary's eyes had once more closed... and tears were slowly trickling from them. Mae knew they were tears, because it was not raining outside. "Mary, darling," she gasped. "What is it?" She tried to turn Mary to face her, but she would not budge. Instead, Mary's closed eyes tightened for a moment. "Please tell me," soothed Mae. Her worry was almost overwhelming.

Stifling a sob, Mary opened her eyes and glared out the window, her voice barely audible. "I tried to kill you... "

Instantly Mae knew what was wrong. She knew what Mary's "bad dream" was about. It was something that still plagued her. "Oh darling... "

"I know Eclipso warped me," said Mary. "But I... I still tried... tried to... " She stopped, tears pouring silently. Again Mary kissed Mae's ring, even deeper than before. "I'll never forgive myself."

"Mary, I... "

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Mae," wept Mary. "I love you with all my heart, but no matter what I do, no matter how long there is... nothing I do will ever make up for it. I'll never forgive myself."

Now Mae was weeping herself. "Listen. I've already told you, there's nothing to forgive. I know it was the worst thing that's ever happened to us, but... well, it just doesn't matter." She felt guilty herself about attacking Mary under orders of Darkseid, but Mary's perversion by Eclipso was far more powerful than Mae's by the New God. Supergirl was on Apokolips for a very short time, while Mary wore black for many months. And though Mae was able to fight out of Darkseid's thrall with help from her loved ones, it took a near-death experience for Eclipso's hold on Mary to be broken. She never told her wife, but Mae had her own nightmares at the memory of how close she was to losing her forever.

Her mind returning to the present, Mae's hold on her darling's waist tightened slightly. "I love you, Mary. And nothing - nothing - will ever change that. When I say I would rather die than not be with you, I mean it. You give my life purpose." She then reverently entwined a hand in her partner's, raised it and kissed Mary's own wedding ring. "You're the perfect woman, the perfect lover, the perfect wife. And when the time is right and we start the treatment... " - Mae began stroking Mary's stomach - "... you'll be the perfect mother."

"You mean it?" Mary choked.

"With all my heart," insisted Mae. She again tried to move her spouse, and this time was successful, with Mary slowly turning around until they were face-to-face. Mae then enveloped her again in a tight embrace. After a very deep kiss, Mae wiped the water from her soulmate's eyes. "But only when you're ready. I won't force it."

Mary stifled a sob, then pressed her lips back against her wife's. Over a minute later, Mary pulled away and looked at Mae through hazy eyes, tears still trickling. "Love me," she breathed.

Mae tenderly though assertively swept her spouse up into her arms, and carried her back to their bedroom...