Chapter VII

{St. Thomas Hospital, Charming, August 16, 1995}

Tara sat in the rigid uncomfortable chair of the hospital waiting room; unable to take her eyes off Jax's muscular frame leaned up against the wall next to Opie, Clay and the rest of the SAMCRO crew. The entire MC wore the same somber expression upon their face. Aiden had been hit by a truck on his way to see Amelia and to describe the situation as bleak was being very optimistic. Tara allowed her eyes to roam to the chairs beside her that had been previously occupied by Hannah and Donna. She had barely noticed when they changed locations to be near Amelia who had burst through the glass doors of the Emergency Room less than an hour ago.

Amelia now sat completely flaccid like a ragdoll in the chair that Opie had lowered her too. Tara glanced at her briefly unable to maintain eye contact, her friends blue eyes looked almost dark and void. The timing of Amelia's arrival to the hospital, just like her arrival at the MC earlier had been most unfortunate. Time was not on any of their sides since her unexpected appearance at the TM.

Immediately upon her arrival the Doctor had emerged from the doors of the ER to explain the staff was doing everything possible to stabilize Aiden for a much needed surgery, but his future was unsure. As he began to speak of notifying the next of kin, shit had suddenly become real for them all. There had been no preparation for the words he had spoken in such a calm, professional tone. Even Jax had been taken so off guard from the words that he had, had to rely on the wall behind him for support as Opie reached out to grab Amelia. They all felt as if a gigantic truck plowed over them, just as it had Aiden in the intersection.

Tara desperately wanted to join Donna and Hannah in providing comfort to her friend but she couldn't. All she could do was remain in the shitty seat of the colorless waiting room with her eyes fixed like glue on Jax, feeling as if she took them off of him for a moment, he would slip away into the dark abyss. Slip away from her just as Aiden was slipping away from Amelia, and the thought petrified Tara. Jax Teller was like the precious oxygen needed for survival, without it, without him, she knew she would not survive for any length of time.

Clay rubbed his throbbing temples as he stood in the close knit cluster of his fellow brothers, "I think one of us should ride out to Stockton, Lenny deserves to hear this from us, not through some bullshit fuckin' prison grape vine of gossip."

"Clay's right, we owe him the respect of a face to face," Piney nodded in agreement as he spoke the words.

Agreement with the club President was becoming an even rarer occurrence than it had been just a few short months ago. Piney was finding more and more his words were falling on deaf ears, as his credibility with his brothers continued to be flushed further down the God damned toilet with each drunken binge. He knew he was on a downward spiral but was powerless to stop any of it. As he looked over at Jax leaned against the wall with a look of disbelief still on his face, Piney new the time was fast approaching for the seat to be filled by him.

"Aye, he is servin' time fur thes club, member of th' first nine, we owe heem 'at much" Chibs nodded lowering his eyes to the ground as he spoke the words.

"Yeah, man you're right," Tig replied his voice monotone, "I'll ride out with a couple of prospects, deliver the shitty damn news."

Opie looked over at Donna as the crew talked among themselves. The harsh cold words Aiden and Amelia had both spoken to one another earlier that day ringing through his mind. The recollection sent chills throughout his body, he honestly didn't know how Amelia would be able to move on if Aiden didn't survive. Opie knew he wouldn't be worth a shit if the last words he ever spoke to Donna weren't "I love you". Even if his last words were loving he honestly didn't know how he would move on, how he would recover if such a loss ever occurred in his life. Opies heart clenched in his chest as the thought of losing her consumed him and he silently prayed that he would be taken first. Another chill ran over him, almost as if a gust of cool air had swirled around his body, the difference in temperature caused goose bumps to cover his flesh, and a sense of foreboding stirred within the depths of his soul. He felt as if a silent warning had just screamed out that this was just the tip of the iceberg of what was to come for them all. The words live by the sword die by the sword whirled though his subconscious like a tornado.

"Amelia, do you want me to call Marie?" Donna spoke the words softly to her friend who continued to stare blankly at the double doors of the ER where Aiden was being attended too.

Hannah looked at Donna shaking her head slightly when after several minutes no words were uttered from Amelia lips. Not knowing what to do for her they did the only thing they could and just remained sitting beside her in silence.

"Sweethearts," The sound of Gemma's familiar voice from behind covered them like a warm security blanket.

Donna rose immediately walking into her outstretched arms. Gemma hugged the young girl close as her eyes locked with Clays steel blue ones. The situation summed up for her with just his look, no words were needed. Eeriness overtook her for a moment and suddenly she was standing in the waiting room shortly after JT had been in a similar accident with a Semi-truck.

A flood of regret washed over her unexpectedly as the unwelcome memories continued to invade her. Gemma quickly shook the past from her mind knowing the past, had no place in the present. Sleeping dogs or in this case dead bones needed to remain buried, deeply buried.

Gemma took in a deep breath as she gazed over Donnas' delicate shoulder at Amelia. She had been pissed at her for breaking Aiden's heart in the first place, and felt she should have remained to hear him out regardless of the circumstances. So, he had killed someone in self defense, they were fucking outlaw bikers not damn choir boys for fuck sake. Aiden had been brutally honest with Amelia about many aspects of his life from the very beginning; Gemma knew that for a fact.

Running from the cabin had been weak and foolish on Amelia's part as far as Gemma was concerned, and she had told Clay just that when they had discussed it privately. She huffed as she thought of Clay's response, frankly she felt he had a weakness for young tight pussy, and loved seeing it hang around the MC, even if he wasn't permitted to touch it within the city limits of Charming. She had considered his response to her words a form of weakness as well when he brought up the fact that Amelia was young, urging Gemma to be a little more understanding and lend some guidance.

Age meant very little to Gemma and she viewed it as a cop out. In her mind, in her universe, what the fuck difference did age make? She had only been seventeen years old herself when she climbed on the back of JT's bike, and was knocked up just a few months later. Yet, Gemma Teller-Morrow had never failed to stand strong for the club, for her boys and what they stood for, even when her precious Thomas died. She despised it when people shut down from tragedy and considered it weak character. Women needed to strong in her opinion. Cry privately. A man, especially a man in the life was only as strong as the woman behind him as far as she was concerned.

Despite her annoyance with Amelia, she had hoped when she strolled onto the parking lot of the TM earlier they would work their shit out. Like Donna complimented Opie, Amelia complimented him in a way that was unique. Regardless of her cowardly actions at the cabin Amelia had brought certain changes about in Aiden that Gemma thought were not entirely bad. She felt if the girl would grow up and get the silver spoon out of her mouth, she had potential. She sighed deeply deciding to lay the blame upon the doorstep where it truly belonged, and that doorstep belonged to Tara Knowles.

Her eyes roamed from Amelia to Tara becoming narrowed and fixed. Now there is a hopeless fucking case, she thought as she allowed her eyes to glance from Tara to Jax. Tara was in no way princess to the prince material. She had decided to sit and stare at Jax like a fucking imbecile rather than represent Jax by getting up off her ass, and providing comfort. As far as Gemma was concerned Tara should have been beside Amelia, providing comfort, representing her man, and the club. Instead she was obviously wrapped up in her own selfish feelings. The overwhelming urge to protect her son flared deep within her, and Gemma could feel her stature going erect even as she held a weeping Donna in her arms. She was Jax Tellers mother, the queen of the MC, the mother of its heir. So help her God as long as life coursed through her body no one would bring harm to what was hers. Gemma knew Tara had to go, had to go before she caused anymore heartache and woe for club, and more importantly for Jax.

"You need to go home, sweetheart, and rest for the babies sake," Gemma smoothed back Donnas dark hair with her hand; "I'll stay here and sit with Amelia."

"I'll take her home," Hannah rose offering her assistance, "I can come back afterwards and help here."

Gemma smiled at the young girl who was the daughter of her lifelong friend. Hannah was special, always had been. She was surprised to see her present, having seen the friction created between her and Jax when she had started running around with David Hale. The surprise of seeing her was a welcome one however, Hannah belonged around them, belonged in their lives more than she even realized. Mentally Gemma made a note that she needed to call Hannah's mother soon, it was time they all sat down and had a talk.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Gemma released Donna to give Hannah a hug and kiss on the cheek, "We have missed you, good to have you back home where you belong." She winked at her as she spoke the last words.

"Tara, do you want to come with us," Donna looked over her shoulder at her friend.

"No," Tara replied flatly to Donna's words.

Gemma frowned at her response before interjecting, "Tara, perhaps you should go with them, and get some fresh air," Her penetrating stare once again fixed on the young girl.

"No," She spoke the word with agitation as her eyes turned and glared at Gemma.

"You would be very wise to watch your tone of voice with me," Gemma replied flatly giving her a firm glare, "I said get some fresh air, Tara." Speaking the words in a manner that Tara knew not to question, directing her attention back to Amelia she lowered her body to the chair beside her.

In that moment Gemma was truly grateful she had smoked an entire joint before arriving St. Thomas. Breathing in a slow breath she closed her eyes for a moment of meditation, she needed every ounce of self control on board to prevent her from walking over and bouncing Tara's head off the hospital waiting room wall. Just you wait, one day you miserable cunt, the thought bringing her a strange inner peace as a contented smirk crossed her face.

Amelia's eyes remained glued on the double doors of the ER barely noticing Gemma's presence beside her. Each time the doors opened she felt as if she was being punished for her misdeeds. Time was both a friend and foe, each precious minute that slipped by was another that Aiden was still with them, and hope remained. Yet another part of her dreaded each minute that ticked by, feeling as if she were cupping the sands of a broken hourglass in her hands, unable to prevent it from slipping through her delicate fingers. The feeling of sheer helplessness overwhelmed her.

The Doctor emerged from the double doors once again shortly after 2:00am his face intense and unreadable as he approached Clay Morrow. Amelia could feel her lungs freeze and her heart stop as the hot tears began pooling under the lids of her blue eyes.

"You wait here, sweetheart," Gemma spoke to her before rising to join Clay.

Amelia glanced over at Tara who refused to look at anyone but Jax. She wondered if she blamed her for the incident, blamed her for Aiden being on the brink of death. As she looked at the group of men clustered together hanging on every word the Doctor spoke, she wondered if they all hated her as well. Truly not blaming them if they did, knowing she was the reason Aiden had been speeding through the intersection. She knew, they all knew, if he died his blood would be on her hands.

She looked up at the ceiling of the hospital waiting room as the tears began to stream down her cheeks. Silently she pleaded with whoever was in the heavens above to spare Aiden's life. The only response to her silent pleading was the dull hum of a fluorescent light that was burning out. The tears began to fall faster as she was unable to deny the semblance to Aiden's life burning out. Amelia lowered her gaze from the light to Gemma who was slowly walking back towards her. Amelia couldn't help but notice the mournful look she was trying to hide.

"Is he … is he …." Amelia stuttered the words unable to finish the sentence as she bowed her head down the tears drenching the sheer blue silk fabric of her sundress that covered her legs.

"No, he's alive," Gemma sat down taking her hand, "They say it's still touch and go but if he wakes up in a few hours and makes it through the night his chances are really good."

"Can I see him?" Amelia eyes looked at her pleading.

"I don't know if they will allow us back yet," Gemma responded.

"Please, please I need to see him," Amelia responded her voice becoming almost hysterical, "Please….." She lowered her head in her hands sobbing.

Gemma rose quickly to catch the Doctor before he disappeared into the double doors once again, "Hey Doc, can I have a minute."

The Doctor looked over at the young girl sitting in the waiting room chair as Gemma Teller-Morrow explained the situation. He knew he should say no, but as he continued to look at the young girl sitting in the waiting room, her innocence and sorrow almost broke his heart. The boy had been only regained consciousness for a moment muttering a name they could barely understand. He wondered if it had been hers. He knew it wasn't normal protocol to allow non-family members to visit so soon after such a trauma, but as he looked at her he decided that perhaps not all policies were meant to be followed.

"Come with me, honey" Gemma reached out her hand to Amelia leading her through the doors with the Doctor before anyone realized what was occurring.

"Follow me," The Doctor gestured to them, "He is on the other hall in our Intensive Care Unit."

Feeling completely numb Amelia allowed Gemma to lead her over to room where she could see Aiden laying in a hospital bed. Her eyes widen with shock as they roamed over all the tubes and wires connected to him. He's going to die, the words echoed through her.

"That's completely normal," The Doctor spoke the words gently as if reading her mind, "We had to put him in a deep sleep in the ER, like a coma almost so that we could help him better. He had a lot of internal bleeding and injuries we had to repair."

"Can … Can I go sit by him?" Amelia once again found herself stuttering the words she spoke between heavy breathes.

"Just for a moment," The Doctor replied as he motioned for her towards an empty chair at the bedside.

Amelia looked at Gemma who nodded her head towards the door encouraging her to enter. She longed to be near him but was truly terrified as well. Slowly Amelia began to walk towards his bed sitting in the chair that the Doctor indicated. She looked up at him with a questioning look on her face not knowing what to do next.

"Just talk to him like he was awake," He offered before stepping back to give her few moments of privacy.

Reaching out she touched Aiden's fingers that didn't respond, the hum and beep of the hospital equipment filling the room like a sad melancholy.

"Aiden," Amelia's words barely an audible whisper as they drifted into the air between them, "I love you. I am so sorry. Please … please forgive me. Please wake up."

It was the only words she could speak before the gravity of the situation overwhelmed her once again. She cringed as the last words she spoke to him in the parking lot entered her mind. The words had been horrible and cruel, not at all the reflection of how she felt in her heart. She hoped he could hear her words now and that they would somehow cancel out everything else she spoken earlier. Her body began to heave with uncontrollable sobs as she felt Gemma's warm hand touch her shoulder.

"He knows, sweetheart, he knows" Gemma words remained steady, strong and confident, "Best thing we can do for him now is get some rest." A mixture of sorrow and anger coursed through her once again for the MC, Lenny, Amelia, Aiden, and Jax all hurting, as a result of Tara Knowles big mouth.

The clothing lay upon the old bathroom floor of the MC apartment bathroom. Many of the articles with the exception of Jax's leather cut, and their jeans were practically ripped to shreds. They had almost violently removed them from one another's bodies; the demand to consume the other had been so great.

"Jax," Tara moaned his name loudly. The sound lingered in the foggy steam filled air of the shower as he thrust himself deep within her.

She grasped at his back digging the pads of her fingers deep, followed by her nails. The action more forceful, harder than usual but the desire to feel that he was real, alive and warm made her feel almost savage. Tara could hear him growl deeply as her nails pierced into the skin of his back, and yet she dug deeper. She had no control.

"Fuck me harder, Jax" She hissed the words into his ear, as her hands moved down from his back to his firm muscular ass pulling him forcefully to her.

Jax's body immediately responded to her demand with a thrust so hard the breath was forced from her lungs as her back hit the tile wall of the shower.

"Babe," He breathed into her shoulder as he bit down on her flesh. He could taste the saltiness of the perspiration that had gathered towards the nape of her neck, despite the fact they were surrounded by water. The sensation of her nails, which had returned to his back, was painful yet an exquisite type of ecstasy that sent a wild surge through him, a surge to possess her.

He raised his head resting it on her forehead as the water cascaded between their bodies in hard pellets triggering their own tantalizing sensations. Their eyes, the windows to their souls locked remaining that way for what seemed an eternity. He could see the pain, hurt and bewilderment that was present as she stared back at him. He knew Tara, like him needed the rough lovemaking that was taking place. They needed it to feel alive. Feeling alive was very important to them as their world had been shaken with just how quickly it could all change. He got it, he totally understood it, like her he needed it and complied continuing his deep almost punishing thrust into her body as she withered against him her moans filling the room. Cupping his hands on the slick wet flesh of her cheeks he pulled her warm full lips to his pressing down upon them demand.

Tara could feel his tongue sweeping against her lips demanding ownership of her mouth, and she slowly parted the way allowing him to enter. The surge of pleasure from the thrust of his tongue matching the deep forceful thrust in which he moved in and out of her body pushed her to the brink. She could feel bruises forming on her inner thighs as he pushed into her deeper and deeper. The combination of sweet pleasure and delectable pain delicious made her feel alive and loved by the man who was her everything. She pressed her body into his with an urgency and demand that rippled through her core.

Jax was unable to control his animal instincts as Tara pressed her body closer to his, and dug her nails even deeper into his flesh. He swiftly withdrew himself from her clinging wet warmth, spinning her around pressing the front of her body firmly against the shower wall. He could hear gasp of surprise and pleasure as he buried himself deeply within her from behind, pressing her breast against the tile wall of the shower.

Tara screamed out as he entered her from behind, the force pushing her against the tiled shower wall. The friction aroused her even further, as she felt her nipples hardening, unable to control the moans escaping from her lips. She found herself begging him, for what she wasn't sure; part of her knowing they needed to stop whatever had been unleashed, while another part of her welcomed the beast they had aroused. Reaching her arms above her head slightly she clawed at the tile wall as if to find some sort of support. She quickly found the support she was so desperately searching for as his strong arms rested over the top of hers, their fingers intertwining. She could feel him pushing into her as if he couldn't get close enough. The wave of pleasure began to take over and her body surrendered to him completely.

"Christ, I love you, Tara" His deep masculine voice filled her ears as he thrust into her one last time spilling his hot warmth throughout her body, their interlocked fingers clasping the others even tighter.

Opie stood by the bed watching Donna in a deep peaceful slumber. He sighed deeply at the vision of her in the long white T-shirt, her brown hair splayed over the white pillow case. The moon shimmered upon her skin as the light peeped through the crack of the curtains above the bed. Opie knew he had never beheld such a breathtaking scene in his entire life.

Removing his clothes he pulled the covers back further slipping underneath them his flesh coming into contact with her warmth. He could feel his breathing become heavy as he reached out to brush a strand of her hair back that had fallen over her face, his gigantic hand exploring its way down her body, finding a place to rest upon her pregnant belly. He closed his eyes to breathe in the scent of her body wash and shampoo. A needy smile appeared upon his face as his eyes slowly opened once again. Reaching down he cupped her face as she opened her own eyes fluttered open in surprise just as their lips met gently, and he pulled her body into his.

Gemma held Clay close to her as they sat in the Intensive Care waiting room. The Doctor had told them the next few hours would be critical. They were slowly awakening Aiden from the coma like state they had induced in the emergency room and continued during surgery. The Doctor had expressed all they could medically had been done, the internal injuries repaired; the rest was ultimately going to be his will to survive. A look of determination remained upon Gemma's face, she knew he had the will, and refused to believe that his young life was going to come to an end. He was Lenny's boy after all and he would pull through she knew he would. Her eyes were quickly diverted from Clay's massive body resting upon hers as the doors of the ICU flung open and the Doctor stood before them.

Sitting lifeless on top of the island in the kitchen of the cathedral Amelia watched as Marie busied herself fixing a small snack that she insisted would be eaten. Eating was least of her priorities at the moment but she knew that the motherly housekeeper would not take no for an answer. Complying with her wishes were easier than the effort it would take to argue. Her eyes felt heavy yet she knew sleep wouldn't come easily. She had not wanted to leave the hospital but was finally encouraged to do so by Gemma, who had sent everyone else home for rest as well, promising everyone immediate updates if the situation changed.

Amelia thoughts were interrupted as the chimes of the cathedral door bell rang through the room. Instantly her eyes locked with Maries before looking at the clock on the built in microwave that read 4:30am. A feeling of dread swept over her as she lowered her body from the granite island counter top gliding towards the front door in a ghostly silence, as she cracked the door open she saw the Prospect standing upon the step.

"Yes," Amelia whispered the words as she stood to the side so he could enter.

"Gemma and Clay sent me," The Prospect looked her square in the eyes, "Aiden's dead."

"NO!" She shook her head in disbelief, "NO! That's not true!" She screamed the words out that echoed off the walls of the elaborate foyer.

"Is everything ok?" Marie rushed into the room having heard Amelia's screams.

"I just came by to tell her Aiden….. he's dead." The Prospect lowered his eyes to the ground for several long minutes before raising them again, "There's something else," He paused for a moment before continuing, "The MC would appreciate it if you stayed away. They feel you are responsible for his death."

Amelia fell to the ground clutching herself protectively, as she rocked back and forth the sobs bellowing from her.

"You have made your point," Marie looked at the young man sternly, "Now if you don't mind to leave us in peace," Her voice raising with irritation at the nerve of the MC blaming Amelia.

"Amelia, are you sure I can't get you something," Marie sat beside the lifeless girl as she watched her stare at the water filling the gigantic marbled tub in her bathroom.

"Could I have some hot tea, Marie?" Amelia mumbled the words not taking her eyes from the water as it poured from the lavish stainless facet.

"Sure, honey, I will go get it now," Marie rose kissing her upon the forehead looking back once more before exiting the room.

Amelia listened until she could hear Maries footsteps drift down the stair case towards the lower level of the house. Rising she walked over to the door locking it, before walking over to the long sink top vanity. She glared into the mirror barely recognizing the hallowed, empty looking girl who peered back at her. Pulling one of the drawers open she reached to the very back her fingers tips finding what she was searching for immediately. Laying the object down upon the ledge of the marble oval shaped tub she slipped out of her pale blue sundress and undergarments.

Lowering herself into the tub the warmth of the water rose to meet her. It was inviting to her body, almost pleasurable. She shut her eyes tightly and could almost feel his hand on her. A feeble smile crossed her face as the memories of his touch, of them together played in her mind. The warmth of the water created sense euphoria within the depths of her soul, turning her head she eyed the object she had placed on the ledge.

Looking down at her left wrist at the faint scar, she exhaled as she moved her eyes to the small shiny knife that rested comfortably in her right hand. The knife gleamed at her mockingly as she lowered it to her left wrist. She could feel the initial tug of resistance her scared flesh gave, followed by a smooth glide as it traveled along the dainty wrist. Amelia's face winced at the uncomfortable initial sting that was quickly replaced with another wave of euphoria as the water began to turn red. She felt her eyes close as the room started to slowly spin and the darkness began to fall around her like a vale. Just as she lost consciousness she saw him in front of her, she saw Aiden's face.

The Prospect paused for a moment as he walked down the steps towards his bike; the image of Amelia hunkered down on the floor filling his mind. He mounted his bike exiting the estate hastily before coming to a stop at the end of the street beside the black Audi where Suzanne White was waiting for him.

"Did she believe it?" She looked at the Prospect with a sly smirk.

"Yes," He shifted his eyes nervously from her to the ground.

"Good, now you remember our deal not a word to anyone about this," She handed him the large envelope of cash holding it snuggly for a moment as he grasp at it, "Remember not a word to anyone."

"Listen, bitch I am taking this money and leaving tonight," The Prospect spit at her in disgust repulsed with himself for what he had just done, knowing they would kill him for such deceit.

"Good," Suzanne responded as he took the envelope from her hands riding out of sight.

A cold unremorseful smile crossed her bruised face as she glared at the vast Tate estate in the distance before starting her car and pulling away.

He could hear her soft voice calling to him from the distance but he couldn't see her clearly, "Wake up my love, wake up," Aiden's eyes opened as he blinked rapidly several times, excruciating pain ripping through his entire body. The bright above him causing his eyes to squint, that simple action even causing pain.

"Doctor," He heard the soft unfamiliar feminine voice call out, "Look who has opened their eyes."

"I'll be God Damned," The Doctor walked over to the side of the bed peering down at his young patient with a huge triumphant smile upon his face, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Aiden Janowitz."