{Charming, July 2, 1996, St. Thomas}
"Tara."
Coming to an immediate halt Tara recognized the deep voice that drifted in the night breeze filling her senses. Closing her eyes, she psyched herself up for the inevitable encounter about to take place. The heavy footsteps approached speedily already reaching their destination as she pivoted Tara was met with two sets of glaring eyes.
"What do you want?" Tara inquired callously as she stood face to face with the SAMCRO Princes.
"We want to talk to Jax." Aiden returned the callousness she projected as his dark eyes stared broodingly at her.
"Jax is a big boy." She shifted the weight of her body standing more erect as the duo continued to glare harshly, "I am not keeping him from talking to any of you, but maybe he doesn't want to talk, maybe he has had enough of the bullshit." Not waiting for a response Tara turned her back to the intimidating duo making a beeline for the dark car she had parked on the outskirts of the lot.
"Tara," Opie ran ahead stopping his towering body abruptly giving her no other option but to halt the journey towards the car.
Tara could feel her heart thumping rapidly against the interior wall of her chest. Never had she been fearful of Opie or Aiden, always considering each a friend that would protect her not harm her. In the darkness of the parking lot staring up at Opie, she realized just how intimidating and even scary he truly was. Aiden closed the gap joining his brother, while he was not the towering inferno like Opie; his dark stone cold eyes sent a chill down her spine. Moving her gaze from one to the other she gave them, a look she hoped conveyed "fuck you" and not "scared shitless."
"We aren't going to hurt you." Opie relaxed his stance the moment he noticed panic in her body language. The sound of her car keys jingling gave away the nervous trembling of the hand at her side.
"Tara, we just want to talk with Jax." Aiden stressed running his fingers irritably through his long curly brown hair. It had been a little over a week since all hell had broken loose at the TM Jax had left so abruptly once the chapel door had flung open. Aiden had been unable to reason with him in the parking lot. Defensive and angry Jax had even thrown a punch for the second time in two weeks, luckily this time it didn't connect with his jaw line.
"As I said," Tara paused a moment clearing her throat, "He is a big boy and if he wants to talk with you he will call."
"Tara we need your help." Opie interjected a look of desperation overtaking his features, "He will listen to you we need him to sit down talk this shit out with Clay. The unrest and uncertainty all this shit is causing isn't good for the club…"
"I don't give a FUCK what is good for the CLUB!" The rage rose in her as she tilted her head up towards the night sky. Always the club with these guys she thought as she stared blankly into the heavens the stars twinkling back in agreement.
The incestuous love that flowed from Gemma for her son and now the issue with Hannah was unbelievable, and revolting. Tara held the precious Anarchy 100% responsible for it all. She knew she had allowed her vision to become briefly enchanted with the club life and thoughts of being Jax's princess, and it had come at a great personal and financial cost. The lawyer Dr. Martin had put her in contact with had told her she was lucky she hadn't been eighteen or her dreams of ever holding a medical license would have vanished. Now thinking more clearly with her eyes on the future, Tara was able to step up on the hill to view the forest full of treachery below. The lies and sins of the founders had paved a path of nothing but sorrow and pain for those who chose to stay. The fairy tale enchantment now gone entirely, Tara's primary goal was to pull Jax from the pits hell with her to the safety of San Diego. They both needed distance from Charming.
"Whoa…. Whoa…. We are all friends here," Aiden paused raising his palms, "The club is Jax's family Tara we're worried about him let us help."
"Help? Family? The club is nothing but a source of grief and crushes everyone and everything in its path. I hate the club it has almost destroyed Jax and I both…" Swallowing trying to moisten her extremely dry throat Tara closed her eyes before continuing. The emotions she had kept bottle within her over the last couple of years dangerously close to surfacing; just as they had in the garage the day she slapped Queen bitch Gemma. "I blame everything on the club, Amelia's suicide attempt, your accident, my arrests, Jax's issues now, even the situation Hannah has found herself in, all of it due to lies and the fucking club."
Opie looked over at his brother Aiden as his face contorted in fury at the mention of Amelia's. He knew this conversation was rolling downhill like a pile of shit very quickly.
"The club is the source of all your issues, Tara?" Aiden countered back sarcastically.
"That's what I said Aiden!" Tara yelled back at him her own anger now boiling over.
"You two simmer down a notch." Opie spoke up his feeble attempt to play moderator however coming just a little late as the conversation continued to escalate. Opie's enormous hand found his chin rubbing it, a nervous habit really. Motherfucker we are all falling apart.
The thought saddened him as he recalled the youthful days that seemed an eternity ago when they had all been carefree with no worries. Now one member of their illustrious group had disappeared into thin fuckin' air, and if they were all being honest she had taken a chunk of Aiden's heart with her. Jax had stormed out of the TM leaving a crumpled Hannah on the floor cursing Clay, Gemma and his father John for keeping fucked up lies from them both. Hannah now refused to do anything but stare blankly at the fuckin' wall, only allowing Happy of all people to come near her. Now Tara was blaming the club for ruining her life. Fuck me when did shit get so messed up? When? He asked in a silent demand following Tara's led looking up at the evening sky for answers.
"You are a bitch Tara!" Aidens body shook uncontrollably as his own pent-up anger coursed through him. "A fucking bitch, I told Jax your ass belonged at the motherfuckin' house but no you wanted to hang around like a damned croweater. You and your gossipy mouth cost me Amelia! YOU COST ME MY GIRL NOT THE CLUB!" Tara gasped as he screamed the words pointing his finger at her accusingly. "You almost fucking killed us both bitch and I wish I were fucking dead cause life without her isn't worth living. You did that to me with your big motherfuckin' mouth not the club! As far as your problems with Jax maybe the frequent powdering of that nose has caused a few of those problems and the arrest."
"What?" Opies head whipped in Aiden's direction the shock evident on his features as he turned his attention back to Tara. Cocaine? Tara?
"You will pay for that comment Aiden Janowitz!" Tara screamed back before making a break for her car.
"Bro, Tara and coke ….. I don't mean to doubt you but Tara?" Opie felt as if a brick had slapped him in the face.
"Yeah, brother she's been getting it from Roxy suspected it for a while." Aiden attempted to pull out the pack of Marlboros from the pocket of his tight-fitting black jeans. "I never intended on throwing it in her face like that shit just got out of control. FUCK ME!" He glared angrily up into the heavens.
"Does Jax know?" Opie inquired still feeling dumbfounded.
"No, and considering everything else that's fuckin' with his head at the moment, I don't think he needs to know his girlfriend is strung out." Aiden placed the much-needed smoke to his lips flicking his lighter quickly to draw the nicotine into his system. Jesus fucking Christ he stood trying to regain his composure. He knew he needed time alone in his place of solitude to collect his thoughts.
"Is she that bad?" Opie arched his brows in concern.
"Wired more often than not these days." Aiden answered impassively his dark eyes focusing on nothing in particular.
"Shit why didn't Jax notice this?" Opie turned with his brother heading back towards the Harleys as the sound of Tara's car speeding out of the parking lot filled the air.
"Because brother sometimes it's easier to ignore what is painfully obvious when you love someone. We are just stupid biker fucks; we ignore shit thinkin' it will just work itself out naturally. I did the same with Amelia." Aiden felt weary as he walked beside his brother a walk that didn't feel right without the extra set of footsteps echoing.
"Amelia had issues with coke?" Opie shot a quick glance at his brother as they both through their legs over the seat of the parked bikes.
"Coke? Fuck no." Aiden chuckled at the thought of Amelia anymore hyper than she already was, "No, Amelia liked her pot no issue there just kept her balanced. I am just talking about shit we should have talked about before everything got so out of control. I shoved shit under the rug thinking a simple one-time promise was enough. I was wrong." He started the Harley reviving the engine as he spoke the last words.
"Aiden what are we going to do?" Opie's concerned voice trailed over the rumbling engines. "We can't let Clay put Trager in the seat."
"I know brother." Aiden looked into his brothers eyes the moment suddenly becoming even more solemn, "If that possibility arises I will snuff it out just like we discussed with Piney."
"You up for that brother?" Opie let out a deep sigh.
"Yes." Aiden replied unemotionally as he hit the throttle of his Harley gunning toward the exit.
{Teller-Morrow Garage}
"Gemma, Peter and I are very concerned she is refusing to come out of that back room. She has sat there staring blankly at the wall for a week now." Christina Marshall stood in the middle of the SAMCRO clubhouse for the first times since that fateful night.
Outraged at Gemma, her oldest friend for taking it upon herself to tell Hannah the truth without even bothering to pick up the phone and call first. She let out a huff of agitation. Thank God I was honest with Peter. Hannah's father had always known it was not his child, older than his wife he had alleviated the issue of having a child long before meeting Christina. She had not minded in the least her eye only being on his financial statements anyway. When she had discovered her one night fling with John Teller had landed her pregnant, terror had flooded her. She didn't try to cover it up instead telling him the truth. Peter had not cancelled the wedding instead pushing the date up several weeks to accommodate her expanding waistline. They had high social standing and appearance to uphold after all, and her dress had cost more than most people made in a year. Hannah had proved to be a blessing. They both loved their daughter, especially Peter Marshall who in reality was really her true father not John Teller.
The close relationship between Hannah and Jax had always concerned them but she had thought the separation when Hannah had begun dating David Hale would fix the situation. Obviously, it had not. Hannah was now tangled in a web of social suicide if people found out they had been intimate. Gemma had reassured them that while the girl's true parentage had surfaced, there would be no mumbling about her relationship with Jax. What Gemma said was true; so far, those that had heard she was JT's biological child had simply assumed that was why the two had always been close. They were after all just a few months apart almost like twins. Christina knew the truth though that her daughter lay in a state of shock because she was devastated. Hannah had always been in love with Jax for as long as Christina could remember and it was not in a sisterly manner.
"She's in shock." Gemma's dispassionate words lingered in the air between the old friends, "We are all in a little shock Jax won't even return my damned phone calls or see me."
Gemma was outraged with the situation and blamed the one person she loathed the most Tara Knowles. In the crevices of her mind loomed a voice of reason that said Tara was not responsible for the present situation, but Gemma had skillfully quieted the voice. In Gemma's warped reality if Tara had not over reacted when showing up at the garage and listened to her son none of the shit would have happened. Tara had compounded the issues refusing to see her Jax or take his phone calls, all of it had pushed him closer to Hannah. Gemma sighed she had seen plenty in her day but her flesh still crawled at the scene she had walked in on in the apartment. Fuck she and Clay had both known their attraction was strong but they never thought it would evolve into something physical. She cursed Tara again, convincing herself that if her mind had not been so preoccupied with the claws the junior croweater had in her son. She wouldn't have missed her opportunity to talk with Jax and Hannah, reveal the truth.
Now Gemma had the comatose offspring of her dearly departed husband clinging to the cheap sheets in the apartment room sobbing nonstop, and a son would not speak with her. Feeling as if her family was being ripped to fucking shreds and all she could do was stand by helplessly she sighed in exasperation. Gemma's usual role was not helpless, and to make matters worse Clay had told her the evening prior if Jax didn't get his priorities straight he would be replaced. Gemma knew Clay would make a play for Trager as his right arm. The Sgt. of Arms worshiped Clay like a God. She loved Tiggy, but if she didn't know her husband, Gemma would have sworn he was sucking Clay's cock.
"Gemma what are we going to do?" Christina questioned on the borderline of having a nervous breakdown.
"What we do best sweetheart ride the storm out." Gemma replied her voice as stone cold as her eyes.
Not even bothering with further explanation she moved towards the back hallway leading to the bedroom Hannah refused to vacate. Opie and Aiden were asking Tara to help them, but Gemma didn't expect the ungrateful cunt to help with shit. Considering herself a forward thinker always, Gemma looked to Hannah as being the key need to unlock the door of silence. Even though Jax was shocked and hurt at the revelation that she was flesh and blood, he had begged her to walk out of the clubhouse with him. Hannah had refused collapsing on the floor. Jax had rushed out the TM in a frenzy after all his efforts had failed. Gemma knew despite his frustration and anger that Jax's loyalty to Hannah had always been fierce, and would remain so. She suspected that once they got past the awkwardness of what had occurred between them, Hannah would become a very important person in his life. Gemma inhaled deeply at the thought that Hannah could replace her in a way as far as his trust. Always the manipulator Gemma entered the room with two goals in mind the most important to make sure she cemented herself as mother figure, and mentor to Hannah. A move that would ultimately lead to her to the second goal finding a way to use the girl to get her son back.
Hannah looked like a miniature doll lying against the large man's torso as she rested for the first time in days. Happy wasn't sure why he felt so drawn to the girl but for some reason he was one of the few people she would even allow near her now. She reminded him of a little sister in a way and he could not shake the overwhelming urge to protect her. A frown creased his mouth as the events of the last few days played in his mind. Happy knew now like the other patched members, she was John Tellers daughter but he had also heard some other rumors that were rather disturbing. His temper flared as he thought about the comments that Tig had made in reference to the events that had taken place the morning after Jax and Juices celebration party. Happy smirked however as he recalled how quickly Trager had shut the fuck up when he pulled his knife out offering to carve him up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
His feelings for Trager were abivalent, a feeling many shared with him about the Sgt. of Arms. Happy agreed whole-heartedly with the violent side of Tig Trager both men sharing the same thirst for assassinations that made some of the other crewmembers cringe. During the Mayan conflict, Happy had added a few tattoos to his "Happy" collection as he enjoyed torturing the Mayan fucks alongside of Tig and the SAMREN Sgt. of Arms. Other than the common torture bond they shared Happy thought Tig was one sick motherfucker that often made poor choices with his cock that cost the club unneeded bullshit. Happy couldn't wait until one day Jax sat at the head of the table and dethroned the arrogant asshole.
"She been asleep long?" Gemma leaned on the old wood doorframe the light from the bulb in the hall silhouetting her long lean features.
"Naw about 10 minutes." He responded so quietly that his low gravely words were barely audible.
Gemma nodded, "Let me know when she wakes up Happy."
"Yeah." Happy responded.
{July 4, 1996, Early Evening, Charming}
Jax grabbed the black duffel bag from his closet the sound of the zipper loud as he opened it placing the fabric on the bed. Opening his dresser drawers, he began to take out his t-shirts and other garments stuffing them in without concern for neatness. He was leaving with Tara the following morning for San Diego, done with the deceit and lies of the MC. Jax knew showing up on Tara's doorstep after the cluster fuck at the clubhouse had been his second chicken shit move, the first seducing Hannah. She had risen to the top though, opened her door to him, and sat patiently listening to the sick twisted story. A wave of nausea washed over him as he thought about what had occurred with Hannah. He wasn't sure how a person ever got over that kind of shit. Jax knew his relationship with Tara was severally damaged even though he she had allowed him to crash in her spare bedroom to avoid his brothers and mother. Even though he stayed with her they had not been intimate, and for the first time in his life, Jax did not care. As the visions of his time spent with Hannah flooded the corridors of his mind, Jax knew he was grateful they had not picked up where they had left off just yet. Tara was his shining light in the darkness the green light beacon across the harbor that lead the way. The last thing he wanted was to taint her with his filth. Jax felt he needed to get his shit together and regain her trust before pursuing her in bed. Tara while understanding, had been very clear she wanted him in San Diego with her but they needed time to rebuild everything they had once shared.
"Christ." He muttered as he worked the tips of his fingers through his greasy blonde hair. In just four short weeks, his whole world had spun out of control, even the MC was suffering from the events. Anger coursed through his veins like venom as he thought about Gemma and JT, he wasn't shocked about their orgy explorations. Fuck, he had enjoyed similar rendezvous before Tara. They were bikers after all not 9 to 5 white-collar motherfuckers it was part of the life. Still the fact they had not just come clean and shared that Hannah was his sibling was beyond him. Fuck me!
Jax sighed with deep regret as he thought of Hannah. He had wanted Hannah to leave the clubhouse with him that morning but she had been too frightened and shocked to move from the floor. His plan at that time had been to put her on the back of his bike and disappear for a while. Not in order to continue their relationship in the way that was clearly sinful unless of course you were a sadistic fucker like Tig Trager, but Jax had just thought time away would give them a chance to sort all the crazy shit. They had to somehow move past the shit and look at each other in a different light. Hannah on the cold floor of the Chapel where they had Church meetings sent a blood-curling shiver down his spine. Jax had attempted to pick her up but when he touched her flesh, the look of fear in her eyes scared the fuck out of him. He had seen the look before when Amelia had run from Aiden that night at the cabin. Jax remembered he had prayed Tara would never look at him like that, but in his wildest dreams, he never could have imagined it would end up being Hannah's large brown Bambi eyes that peered into his blue ones with fear. He had begged and coaxed to no avail. Ultimately, he had left her there.
Moving to the closet, he pulled several shirts from the wire hangers, the sound of them clanking together echoing in the small area. For the first time in his life, Jax had no idea what his future held, or what it looked like. Since he had been a little boy the leather, the club, his Harley painted the picture of his future. Now the canvas was blank. He knew that the first thing he wanted to fill the canvas with was Tara. The mystery of why his feelings were so strong for Hannah had thrust one fact at him like a sledgehammer. Tara was his soul mate, friend, lover, she was everything. Now it was up to him to fix the shit he had created. God damn you Dad why didn't you just tell me! His spirit screamed out at his father in rage. His attempt however, to blame his dead father for the mess he was in brought him little relief because ultimately he knew the poor decision of going to Hannah instead of Tara landed at his doorstep alone. Jax Teller and Jax Teller alone was responsible for his blank canvas.
He paused looking at a picture of them on his nightstand, a picture they had taken outside of the clubhouse the night of the Halloween party. The first time she had ever Gemma and Clay. Jax longed for the days of yesteryear which seemed an eternity ago. Sitting the picture down he thought about their talks. They had spent the last several nights emptying their souls to one another in a way they never had before. Both promising no more lies and deceit, agreeing to put all skeletons on the table. They both felt emptying their closets was the only way they would find their way back. Honesty was essential. In that respect, Jax was encouraged in a way that he had never been. Tara had shared a number of dreams and desires with him she had not voiced in the almost two years they had been together. Jax in turn had bared his soul to her in a way he had never bared it to another human being. No secrets for them ever again.
Zipping up the duffel back, he reached under the mattress pulling out the large stash of cash he kept in case of emergency. His emergency stash combined with the laundered green that awaited him at the Chinese laundry mat, and Tara's surprising stash of cash saved from her diner tips would keep them afloat for a while. Jax felt confident he was a fair mechanic and surely he could find a shitty little job to make ends meet somewhere. It would be hard but well worth it in the long run. Flinging the black duffel bag over his shoulder he looked back once more at the one bedroom apartment before exiting ready to paint the canvas of his new life with Tara.
Tara neatly folded her shirts placing them into the soft-sided suitcase a broad smile on her face. There was no deny that she and Jax needed a lot of repair, doing it away from Charming improved their chances of survival drastically. They had spent much of the last few days talking openly and honestly with one another. When Opie and Aiden had approached her in the parking lot the day before, she had known it was time for them to get the hell out of dodge before the MC pulled Jax back in. If that happened Tara felt, she had very little chance of getting him free and without that freedom, any hope they had of repairing their love dissipated. She was not willing to let that happen determined to make Jax fit into her future where he belonged. When he had opened his heart to her she had fallen for him in a way that she did not know was possible. All this time she had only known the surface of Jax Teller, beneath that surface though there was so much more.
While she wasn't completely forgiving of his indiscretion with Hannah, she wasn't completely innocent. There had not been another man in Tara's life, well except for the encouraging words that Dr. Martin often provided, but the cocaine had taken her over. Her heart sank slightly at the fact she didn't tell Jax about her addiction issues with the white powder, convincing herself it was unimportant. That he didn't need anymore on his shoulders at the moment. Plus the cravings were almost under control, now only needing to snort a little in the morning and midafternoon. That was a vast improvement from even two weeks ago. Tara had also seen no reason to confess, because she thought she was being discrete. When Aiden had voiced his revelation that he knew it had taken her off guard. Tara pushed the unpleasant thought to the back of her mind convincing herself what Aiden knew about her coke issue was unimportant as well. They were leaving Charming soon enough, she would kick the habit, and Jax would never find out.
Satisfied with the contents she had packed Tara walked into the living room sitting on the lumpy couch contemplating what note to leave her father. Tara had told her father she would be leaving for San Diego, but he wasn't expecting her to depart until September. Since he was working night shit at the first steady job, he had held in almost a year, and headed to the local bar with friends afterwards. Experience told Tara her father would pass out drunk and be incoherent when they left the following morning. The gentle knock at the door interrupted her thoughts bringing a bright radiant smile to her face. Glancing over at the clock on the coffee table, she ran towards the door.
"I missed you so much…" Tara flung open the front door not finishing her sentence as she glared into his dark emotionless eyes. Grabbing her mid-section as if someone had punched her; Tara attempted to slam the door quickly.
"Not who you were expecting, Tara?" Aiden struck his boot-clad foot in the doorway to prevent it from closing.
"What do you want?" Tara spit the words at him as she backed up slowly watching as he pushed through the door effortlessly.
"I want your help and Tara you are going to willingly give it to me, otherwise I will tell Jax about the coke." Aiden's heartless expression showed not even a flinch of remorse as he finished his words.
"How do you know I haven't already told him?" Tara countered sarcastically.
"Fine, you won't mind if I wait to confirm that fact myself." Aiden strolled over lazily to the couch plopping down.
"You are a bastard Aiden Janowitz." Tara stood her arms still folded protectively across her abdomen.
"Technically that's not true we know who my mother was she just couldn't lay off the nose candy either, and Lenny kicked her croweating ass to the curb." Leaning back into the cushions of the couch he settled in comfortably his eyes still glaring harshly.
"Why are you doing this? I thought if anyone would understand." Looking him in the eye before she spoke the next words. "It would be you." Dropping her head and voice before continuing, "Amelia told me that you were going to leave the club when she turned 18. I know your secret as well." She replied flatly.
"Tara listen I am not telling you leaving the MC isn't the right move. Jax though his responsibilities are different. All this shit that has gone down he needs to clear it up with Clay and Gemma before leaving otherwise you may never have the peace you both need." For the first time since he had entered the room, his expression softened.
"No, I can't take that chance Aiden." Tara pleaded.
"Tara don't make me be the bad guy." Aiden stood from the couch before finishing, "If you don't bring him to the MC tomorrow by lunch to talk this shit through, I will tell him."
Not allowing her a chance to respond Aiden strode to the door exiting as quickly as he entered. The sound of his bike leaving her driveway echoed through the neighborhood.
Aiden felt like a bastard as he hit the throttle of his bike speeding carelessly through the stoplight heading towards the one place where he could feel close to her. He didn't blame Tara for wanting to escape, but Jax shouldered a huge responsibility being John Tellers only living son. Aiden wondered for the first time if he could have really walked away himself, or it had just been a foolish whim to provide them both with the necessary comfort to survive. He didn't know the answer, but the one thing he did know as the wind hit his face was that he ached desperately for Amelia. For just a moment as the cool night air caressed his flesh, he could have sworn the scent of her perfume lingered around him.
{3:00am, French Riviera}
Amelia scurried into the doorway of the small but luxurious flat on the French Riviera that she had occupied for the last month. Only after locking the door did she feel safe. Returning from a date that had progressed beyond the simple hand holding and kissing she usually allowed had left her heart pounding in fright not passion. The sad fact was she couldn't move on in that regard no matter how hard she tried. Amelia had really thought the evening that had just passed would end differently. She had a marvelous time laughing and talking so when the handsome young man had invited her back to his place she had complied. The evening however had ended poorly, when the Frenchman called Amelia Tate a cock tease it had certainly been the last straw as she fled the apartment.
Slipping her sandals off one at a time the pads of her feet made contact with the cool marble flooring sending rippling chills throughout her body. She stopped curling her toes up as she peered down at the pink polish, which adorned her perfectly pedicured feet before quickly skipping to the terrace. The early AM breeze from the shore was exhilarating from her balcony. Sitting down gently in the small chair in front of the bistro table, her favorite place in the entire flat, she picked up the blunt from the ornate glass ashtray lighting it. The soothing smoke entered her esophagus working its way down to her lungs bringing her a sense of balance and security. Watching the smoke ascend into sky Amelia gained a certain clarity she hadn't had in a very long time. Jumping up from the seat, she ran into the one room flat as if it were Christmas morning. The feeling of true happiness rushed over her as she grabbed up the address book laying on her nightstand quickly finding the number she needed and dialing it with her delicate fingers.
Letting out a sigh of exasperation at the second interruption in such a short span of time, Tara picked the ringing phone. Her mind and emotions still consumed by the threats that Aiden Janowitz had made. Who is calling this late?
"Hello." Tara answered blandly.
"Tara, can you hear me its Amelia!" The thrill of excitement coming from her friend's voiced reached out through the phone circuits grabbing her in an embrace.
"Amelia! Oh my god! Where are you?" Tara exclaimed gleefully.
"In France, the French Riviera." She giggled as she spoke.
"The French what?" Tara couldn't help but laugh as repeated her friend's word not having clue where the French Riviera was.
"Never mind that I'm coming home." Amelia felt at peace the moment she spoke the words.
"Back to Charming?" Caught in the joy of hearing her friend's voice the word Charming snapped Tara back to reality. "Amelia wait …. " Tara inhaled deeply before continuing, Aiden's hateful words and threats filling her mind. "Jax and I are leaving tomorrow we are done with Charming and starting over in San Diego. I am going to start college this fall."
"Tara that's wonderful news." Amelia's soul rang out in complete bliss, "My Mommy Dearest has a house in Laguna, well actually now it's mine, anyway that's only an hour from San Diego! We can all spend the summer there before you start college in the fall. I'm going to call and book a flight now and call you back with the details. Will you find Aiden for me? Tell him I am coming home, and to meet me in San Diego. This is going to be so great! I will just fly there and wait until the three of you arrive, and we can got to the beach house together. Tara, tell him I love him and I am so sorry and I was so foolish…." Amelia grinned from ear to ear the plans whirling through her mind so rapidly she was unable to stop chattering.
"Amelia wait." Tara cut her friend off abruptly as the need for vengeance reared its ugly head. Years later Tara would look back and mourn the poor decision, she made that day. The need for revenge was a crossroads. "Aiden has an old lady."
"What?" Amelia's sat frozen as if the life had been sucked out of her.
"He has an old lady." Tara's tone and mannerism switched from bubbling to cool instantaneously.
"Tara did I hear you right?" Amelia closed her eyes praying that she had heard her friend wrong.
"Yes Amelia you heard me right her name is Roxy and that's not all she's pregnant with his baby." Tara knew she had reached an all-time low.
"Pregnant?" Amelia could feel the warm tears pooling under the lids of her eyes. No that can't be her subconscious screamed as she thought back to the conversation they had, had one of many that she never wanted children. Aiden had told they were well suited because he never wanted children either. Rage filled her as she thought about how he had ridden her ass the entire time had been to make sure no accidents happened. Now hearing from her best friends that not only had he replaced her, but also was expecting a baby. Amelia felt as if his real issue had just been with her, she wasn't good enough. She felt the compelling urge to scream as the realization that he hadn't changed one bit filled her very core. His bedding Suzanne White within weeks of their break up came flooding back to her. Asshole!
"I am sorry Amelia." Tara felt a tug at her heart as her less vengeful side screamed for her to retract her words. My God what have I done! "Amelia he loves you …. What I said it's not true please forgive me." She called out helplessly to the dead line.
{9:30 pm, French Riviera}
Amelia sat on the marble floor with the knife in her hand. She had stared at it for hours almost succumbing once again to the weak urge to end her life. Just as she was, about to take the cowardly way out for the third time in less than 2 years a refreshing gust of wind entered her room from the shoreline in the distance. The cool breeze comforted her in a way she could not describe, but she knew somehow it was significant. Reaching into her soul pulling a strength from within she didn't even know was there, Amelia walked over to the kitchen area that was never used replacing the sharp object in its drawer. In that moment time stood still and she made a pact with whatever spirit was hovering in the breeze that regardless of what the future held she would never again take the cowardly way out.
Making her way back to the phone she had thrown upon the bed hours earlier she picked it up to dial Marie. She had promised to call her at least every other day so she wouldn't worry and the thought of hearing her surrogate mothers nurturing voice before laying her heard down to rest was welcoming.
{6:30am, July 5, 1996, Charming Cathedral}
Aiden's body jolted up in the chaise lounge he had fallen asleep in several hours before. He knew Marie was probably already up and knew of his presence. Finding him, sleeping around the pool wasn't uncommon. When shit got hazy and he felt as if he was drowning, he came and sat in the very spot he had shared with Amelia on many irony that he came when he felt like he was drowning to sit around a pool, was not lost on him.
"Aiden," Marie called out from the doors that opened from the cathedral dwelling to the elaborate pool, "Hot coffee is in the kitchen I am driving over to Stockton for supplies just set the door alarm when you leave."
Aiden looked at his watch, Jesus Christ he didn't understand people who felt the need to be such early birds. When he had lived with Amelia in the cathedral, they didn't get out of the fuckin' bed before noon if he didn't have club business to attend too. She skipped school more than she attended so that wasn't an issue either. Of course, they had stayed up many nights until daybreak making love and watching the sunrise. Breathing in deeply just recalling memories of them together on the chaise lounge began to arouse feelings in him that he knew would either led him over to Luann's to borrow one of the girls, or upstairs to a cold shower. He wondered if the body wash and shampoo they had often shared was still in the luxurious bathroom as a coy smirk crossed his lips. Walking to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee then possibly explore the toiletry items left the in the shower his erotic thoughts of Amelia were abruptly interrupted by the annoying ring of the nearby phone. Pouring the hot black coffee into the mug his eyes glared at the phone intensely as an urge he never could explain to another human pulled him over to answer.
"Hello." He answered casually as the familiar breathing on the other end filled his ear. He recognized it immediately. "Amelia….. Baby…God baby is that you?" He struggled through the words as his heart clenched in his chest. Oh, God please give me a small fuckin' break and don't let her hang up.
Amelia held the phone receiver away from her ear for a moment glaring at it in disbelief as his the sound of Aiden voice filled her apartment flat. What in the fuck!
"What are you doing in my home?" Amelia asked harshly without even a hello the taste of bitterness entering her mouth.
"I was watching the sunset. Listen, Amelia, I love you baby. I love you and think of you all the time. I will do anything. Do you hear me? Anything you want me to do just please come home. Please come home and be with me again. You are everything to me this other stuff isn't shit. I only want you baby." He knew if his brothers heard him Jax and Opie included, they would call him a pussy for speaking such words but he didn't give fuck he just wanted his girl back. Hearing her voice again had rang that truth through him.
"Anything? Does that include leaving Roxy straddled with your unborn child so we can be together?" Amelia demanded.
The venom from her tone reached out through phone causing Aiden to stagger. What the fuck! His world suddenly felt like it was crashing all around him. How the fuck does, she know about that. Fuck wasn't even my baby! Mother fucker! He could feel his blood pressure rising and a headache building as his temples throbbed. Slowly he began to speak attempting to control his anger.
"Baby, I don't know what you have heard or who you have heard it from. Yes, I hung around with her she meant nothing, and I swear to God she is not pregnant with my kid. I swear to you Amelia," Aiden pleaded into the phone.
"You disgust me Aiden you really do." Amelia spoke the harsh words as she envisioned how good slapping him would feel. "I know you are with her! I know she's your old lady! I know you got her pregnant! Guess I wasn't good enough to be any of those things to you! Not enough of a gash for you was that it baby. Bastard I hate you Aiden! I hate you and wish I had never let you touch me! God and to think I called Tara telling her I was coming home to you!"
"AMELIA PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! I love you baby, I love you; I don't want you as just an old lady! I want to marry you and I will give you anything, anything you want. I'll leave the club. Christ baby I will do anything for you, I will be anything you need me to be please just believe in me. Just this once believe me!" Aiden paused only the sound of her breathing answering as he held the receiver to his ear. "Amelia! Please I am begging you this one time have faith in me. She meant nothing and I swear the baby isn't mine!" He screamed the words into the phone the sound of the dial tone was the only response he received.
{800am, Cara Cara}
Luann's head turned swiftly as the door of the studio crashed into the wall and Aiden Janowitz walked in his black boots pounding on the hard concrete floor. His face filled with a look she had never seen as he headed straight for Roxy.
"YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Aiden screamed at the top of his lungs as he balled his fist up tight, and for a moment, Luann thought he was going to strike the girl.
"Aiden …. What's … wrong….." Roxy stood from the bed where she was about to start shooting a scene. For the first time since she was with her pimp Roxy felt vulnerable and in danger, attempting to cover her body she stepped back from him.
"How did she find out?" How did she find out about the fucking baby you God damned whore? I told you not to tell anyone and you know that fucking baby wasn't mine you fucking worthless whore!"
"Now listen buddy you can't just come in here yelling like this…." The muscular man, Luann's latest hire, stepped forward in front of Roxy.
"Listen Fucko I ain't your buddy!" Aiden reached inside his cut pulling out his gun pointing it at the over enthusiastic man's head. "You may think you are all bad ass with that muscle and shit but you don't step out of the way … I'm gonna give you a whole new definition of bad ass." His cold dark eyes fixated on the man in front of him as his finger wrapped around the trigger.
"AIDEN!" Luann screamed the click of her heels resonating off the walls as she approached.
"You are on your own with this one babe," The muscular porn star stepped aside to join his coworkers over by the table of refreshments to watch the scene unfold. He certainly wasn't going to get his ass blown away for some girl he had just met.
"Lu this bitch has told Amelia I knocked her up!" Aiden could feel his face growing redder with anger by the minute.
"I swear to God Lu I haven't talked to her…. I don't even really know her." Roxy pleaded. "The baby wasn't his he is right. Please Aiden…please I swear I didn't tell anyone but Tara. I swear." The girl began to cry her wales of terror filling the room.
Aiden inhaled deeply lowering his gun, "Motherfucker…." His throbbing head protested, "Why would you tell Tara, and why did you come after me for money?"
Roxy shifted her eyes helplessly between Aiden and Luann. "Please Aiden, Please, I'll tell you everything just don't hurt me."
"Get some clothes on Roxy." Aiden put his gun away. "You and me are going to have a heart to heart and my suggestion to you is you best be honest or I swear to God woman or not Roxy…"
{11:00, Charming Bus Depot}
Jax counted out the crisp green bills handing the amount needed for the bus tickets to Tara. They had originally planned to leave a little later in the day but Tara had insisted that they go ahead and take the earlier bus. Smiling as he watched her move towards the ticket booth her long brown hair bound up in a ponytail swayed back and forth to the rhythm of her strides.
Allowing his eyes to gaze around the depot he drank in the normalcy of life, a slow grin crossed his lips as he began to place himself in the picture of normalcy. He felt light for the first time in many, many months and he knew it was not only because of the promise of a new beginning that made him feel free. Jax continued to observe the scurrying of the people back and forth marveling at the fact this was the first time he longest he had gone without adorning the leather since Clay had handed it to him. He felt naked and exposed but in a way that felt like healing, comfort and peace. Watching Tara walk back over to him his joy only grew and he found himself wanting her. Thank fuck feeling somewhat relived he felt something again without becoming nauseated.
"The man selling the tickets said they will begin loading in 5-10 minutes and that everything is running on time." Tara held the ticket out to him her hand shaking.
Jax placed his warm rough calloused hand over hers looking lovingly into her eyes, "Are you nervous, babe?"
Taking in a deep breath, which caused her chest to expand and heaving sound on exhalation, she looked into his clear sea blue eyes. Yes, and I need a damn fix, the unvoiced words played in her head.
"LOADING BUS NUMBER 12 HAS NOW BEGUN." The loud voice almost startled her as it rang out through the depot.
Peering into each other's eyes a sheepish appearance on both faces, Jax flung his duffel bag over his shoulder and Tara picked up her suitcase as they walked outside towards the bus that would carry them to the future. The future that did not include SAMCRO. Handing his bag to the bus attendant for storage first, Jax reached back taking Tara's suitcase.
"Come on darlin'" Jax reached down grabbing her warm inviting delicate hand their fingers intermingling.
Standing in line, they moved a step at a time until finally the metal stair shined at them. Smiling he looked at the shining step the first step of the rest of their lives together. Jax felt as if it were a monumental moment and he needed to say something prophetic before walking upwards and finding seats. He knew he didn't have the words though. There were no words to describe what he truly felt in his heart as he turned and looked into her hazel eyes.
"Tara, I love you. I have made some horrible mistakes. I love you. We have honesty now though. All the ugly past and the lies are out on the table, and we can move forward and make a great life together." Completing the last word his lips pulled closer to brush against hers.
"Jackson." The childlike innocent voice called out stopping him immediately.
"Hannah?" Jax looked up blinking rapidly as if she weren't there.
Tara turned feeling as if a dark cloud had suddenly descended upon them.
Hannah noticed the tormented look and fear that crossed Tara's face as she closed the space that separated them.
"I am not here to stop you." Hannah looked from Jax to Tara. "I am just here to tell you both to go and don't ever come back." Flinging her arms around Tara unexpectedly she hugged her close. "Please don't ever let him come back."
Tara looked at her in disbelief, "I won't" Her voice surprisingly strong and confident.
Hannah reached out hugging Jax fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. "I love you, Jackson. Go make a life with Tara and forget this heartless cruel town." She pleaded.
"What about you Hannah?" Jax looked into her eyes as he brushed back a strand of brown hair.
"I'll be ok. What happened wasn't our fault, Jackson. They should have told us …. It's their sin not ours." She looked from Jax to Tara and back again. "I am leaving as well. Now go…. They know you two are here please go, they aren't far behind me." Hannah encouraged. "Get on the bus and don't get off either of you no matter happens." She implored.
"Hey sweetheart." A chill consumed the area as if a northern January blizzard had abruptly swept through.
"Get on the bus…please" Hannah sounded as if someone was dying her eyes pleading with both Jax and Tara as Gemma drew closer.
"Jax, how could you attempt to sneak off like this just leaving your mother a fuckin' note," Clay's brash voice mingled with his wives and he stepped beside her.
Hannah stepped to the side dread feeling the core of her being. She was too late, she knew that and now Reaper was going to have his satisfaction. Looking at Jax and Tara standing together everything became clear. Hannah had always thought their love was pulling Jax down a path of blood. Tara wasn't to blame but the Reaper the ghost that haunted the Teller family was, and he wouldn't rest until he was satisfied. Not until all their blood flowed upon the cold hard ground of Charming. Each of them had a bounty upon their heads and each bounty would be reaped.
"Ma, I love you but we are leaving. Tara is the most important thing in the world to me." Locking her fingers with his once again, he pulled her towards the shining silver step lifting his foot covered in the new white sneaker. He smirked as he looked down at his foot that had always been covered in a black leather-riding boot. The shoe to him represented a dawn of a new age, a new Jax Teller one that didn't hail to traditions.
Tara pulled her body close to the curvature of his back as he began to take the first step.
"That easy to walk away from your legacy for a girl you don't even know." Gemma's stone cold eyes glared from Jax to Tara.
Jax turned around a wry smirk graced his handsome face, "A girl that I don't know, shit Ma she is the only one I do know. The only one that has been truthful with me about everything."
Tara felt a twinge of guilt and dread consume the core of her being as he spoke the words. I should have told him about the drugs. She made a pact with whoever was listening that she would be honest with him as soon as they arrived San Diego. Please just let us get the hell out of here in one piece. Please!
"Is she honest, Jax?" Gemma countered back, "Or is she no different from any of us and her honestly just a pathetic illusion?"
"I don't have time for your shit Gemma." Jax turned again pulling Tara back towards the stair.
"How about me brother, do you have a moment you can spare me? You might want to hear what I have to say about Tara." Aiden's heartless voice projected from behind Gemma and Clay. Stopping momentarily to look the matriarch mother figure in the eye as he pulled Roxy by her elbow along with him until he was face to face with Tara and Jax.
"What the fuck is this about Aiden?" Jax gave him a puzzled expression.
"About the truth brother, the truth sets you free right?" Aiden glanced at Tara whose face was now pale. Fucking serves you right bitch. "Intercepted a call from Amelia when I was at the cathedral earlier this morning. I want to thank you for fucking my life up a second time Tara Knowles."
"What's he talking about?" Jax looked in horror at Tara her expression creating an unease in him, "What the fuck, Aiden!"
"Tell him Roxy." Aiden pushed the girl to the front and center.
"Aiden please." Tara pleaded with him the hot tears streaming down her cheeks as her eyes pleaded for mercy.
"She was everything to me Tara… EVERYTHING!" Glancing back at Roxy, he nodded his head. "Now tell them!"
Jax face contorted as the porn star began to tell a tale that he found almost unbelievable. A tale of how his girlfriend had schemed with Roxy to swindle money from Aiden to escape Charming. She talked about how Tara was hooked on cocaine. Fucking addicted to coke! Jesus Christ his subconscious screamed as he ran his fingers nervously through his blonde hair. To top it all off, as if the cake that Roxy pulled out of the oven wasn't enough Aiden was kind enough to ice it with a story of how Tara had apparently found Amelia and stabbed him in the back. Turning towards Tara, he searched her eyes for anything that would tell him they weren't telling the truth.
"Jax please I wanted to tell you about the drugs and the money…" Tara began.
"Wanted to tell me?" Jax's voice quivered in anger as he spoke the words. "Tara why … why weren't you honest with me when we opened up to one another the other day. I thought that was a two-way street of honesty. I fuckin' told you shit …JESUS CHRIST!"
"I….I…. was scared." She began to sob uncontrollably, "Please….please believe me."
Jax stepped away extending his arms into the sky a blood-curdling scream escaping him.
"Aiden… I am so sorry about Amelia. I was angry…." Tara stopped mid-sentence attempting to stifle the sobs that racked her body fiercely. "The words came out and before I could take them back she hung up. Please …. Please I will do anything to help. She's in France somewhere … She."
"Shut up Tara!" Aiden screamed his voice lacking any signs of human compassion, "You never mean for shit to happen yet this is the second time you have cost me the girl I love! I thought we were all friends…had a special bond all of us."
"We do … things have just gotten out of control." She continued to plead.
"Yeah, out of fuckin' control…..good luck Tara." Aiden left Roxy standing alone as he turned to exit the bus stop.
"Sweetheart." Gemma walked over to her son attempting to console him.
"Don't …" Jax pulled away.
"We need to get this bus loaded," The attendant called out from the top step. "We have a schedule to keep if you are going to San Diego climb abroad if not please remove your bag."
Jax inhaled deeply his heart feeling conflicted and crushed he walked over to the attendant loading the remaining bags on the bus.
"I need mine back." He said flatly.
"Jax, NO!" Tara sucked in a breath.
Hannah watched paralyzed in horror powerless to keep Jax from making the horrific mistake of staying.
"Are you coming?" The driver narrowed his eyes at Tara.
Looking back Jax then to the shiny silver step Tara knew she had no option, no play left. Placing her foot upon the step, she entered the bus walking toward the back taking a window seat. As the bus slowly pulled away her eyes caught Gemma's triumphant ones beaming at her through the dirty glass. Tara didn't look away, "You haven't seen the last of me you washed up bitch, and when I come back you will pay. The words screamed so loudly in her head she was sure the other passengers could hear them. Laying her head against the well-worn seat Tara Knowles began her strategic plot calculating the years, months, days, minutes, and seconds until she could return to claim what was hers. He's mine….