A/N: So, some people don't like my Edward. Honestly, I don't like him either right now. He's totally flawed, but the better to redeem himself. It's hard to redeem a perfect Edward. I like reviews though, good or bad, so please keep them coming. :o)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.


Chapter 1 – Numb

BPOV

I cried.

I cried my heart out.

I cried for days on end.

I vaguely remembered getting home from the church. Someone removed my gown and shoes. It could have been Alice, maybe Rosalie, or Angela. I was carried into the bathroom; that must have been my father. I was bathed. Renee…only a mother's touch can soothe me while bathing me.

I heard the voices.

"I'm going to personally kill him…"

"I can't believe he would do that to her…"

"They loved each other so much, what went wrong…"

I tuned them all out. I couldn't hear it, not now, not yet. My heart ached for him, for me, for our lost love.

I cried until I had no more tears.

Then I slept.

At least I attempted to sleep. All of my dreams consisted of him and what could have been. Then the nightmares started – of him leaving me, of me finding him with other women and laughing at me. I would wake up only to find that he did leave and those women were probably laughing at my expense.

Then there was nothing…no more tears, no more dreams, no more nightmares. No more us.

Then I really slept for hours and hours…

EPOV

What have I done? I just threw my love away, my life…my everything.

I watched her walk away. I pleaded with her to stay and talk. I told her I loved her, she only kept walking out of the church.

I wanted to run after her, tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to tell her it was a cruel joke and I didn't mean any of it. I wanted her to forgive me and tell me it was going to be okay, her fingers running through my hair to soothe me as she always did. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her I was ready to be her husband.

Instead I felt a punch and I was staggered backwards falling to the floor like the dirt that I was. I looked up at my attacker, my brother, Emmett and he was poised to beat the shit out of me.

I heard the shouting, but nothing prepared me for the onslaught of the words that came from my own brother.

"You piece of shit! How could you do that to her?" He screamed at me. "I can't even defend you from this. I don't WANT to defend you. Bella was like a sister to me. She would have been if you didn't fuck it up."

"Em…"

"Fuck you! I hope you rot in hell. You don't deserve anything better." He walked away, too, my other lifeline.

I glanced at everyone's faces. The death glares coming from my every last one of them, from my family to Bella's to all of the guests. Black…he was gloating, standing there looking smug as if he just won the biggest prize on the planet. He had been patiently waiting for me to make a mistake and now he got it.

"I can't call you my son anymore. You've totally disappointed me. You let the whole family down. If you weren't my own flesh and blood, I would…I don't know what I would do with you. You're not worth the time or effort." Carlisle, my father, ever the level-headed one even cut me deep.

I buried my face in my hands. I couldn't hear anymore.

I stood up and fled. I fled to our meadow surrounding myself with all the good memories that it brought back. Bella's beauty against the green, the laughs we shared, her beautiful smile…they were all gone. All that was left were my thoughts.

It started raining. I welcomed it with open arms. I wanted to be cleansed. I wanted the monster in me that destroyed everything good in my life to be washed away.

BPOV

I woke up feeling completely drained, hoping that the last few days didn't happen, but judging by how tight my chest felt I knew I was wrong.

I lay in bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering what went wrong…wondering how it all ended so fast.

Don't blink or you'll miss it.

I must have blinked too many times because I totally missed it. I had trusted him and just like that, that one blink, and all the trust was gone. Adios, Sayonara, Arrivederci…Bye bye.

There was a soft rap on the door before it was opened. I looked up to see my best friend, my almost sister-in-law, Alice peeking through the door.

"You're awake," she whispered. I gave her a slight nod in response. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted." My voice was raspy from all the crying. "But, I'll be okay."

She sat on the bed next to me as I lifted myself into a sitting position.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." She lunged forward and encircled me in her arms.

"No, don't be sorry, it's not your fault," I said not letting her go.

She pulled back and searched my eyes. "You're right, but I just wished I had seen this coming. I can always predict what's going to happen, but this just came out of left field."

I shrugged. "Your magic can't always work," I said giving her a small smile.

"Edward…" I flinched at the sound of his name. "He should have known better. It's totally uncharacteristic of him."

"Well, it's done. He did what he did and it's over now."

Alice looked down at our entwined hands. "What are you going to do now?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure yet, but I do eventually need to get my stuff out of the apartment. I guess I can put everything into storage. I just don't want to face him right now."

She patted my hands and looked at me. "We're here for you. Emmett and Jasper will help you move your things when you're ready."

"Thank you."

"It's what friends are for," she said giving me another hug. "Are you ready to get out of bed? I think your muscles may have atrophied you've been lying there for so long."

"Funny, Alice." I said, but I couldn't help but smile at Alice's attempt at a joke.

We made our way downstairs to the kitchen where Renee and Rosalie were talking, standing by the counter.

"Bella, baby, how are you feeling?" My mother came to me and drew me into a hug.

"I'm okay, mom. As good as I can be anyway."

Rosalie came over and also hugged me. "We were worried about you. Esme and Carlisle have called everyday to check on you. Emmett and Jasper came over a few times as well. Do you want me to call and let them know you're okay?"

I nodded. "Yes, I would appreciate it. I don't know if I could talk to Esme or Carlisle yet."

"We're all on your side, Bella. Carlisle practically disowned the bastard for what he did and Emmett damn near beat the shit out of him." My eyes widened in shock. "Don't worry, he didn't, but I was hoping he would. That moron deserved it."

"How…how is he?" Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know.

Rose shrugged. "No one really knows for sure. No one has spoken to him. We've barely seen him. Carlisle has seen him at the hospital though. He says that Ed…that he looks like he hasn't slept in days, totally run down."

I wasn't sure if I was happy to hear he was suffering as much as I was or not. A part of me was jumping for joy that he was in pain, but another part was hoping he was doing ok. I always hated seeing him stressed or unhappy. Get a grip girl; he dumped you at the altar.

"So what are your plans now?" Rose asked.

"Alice asked the same thing before. I don't know. The only thing I know is that I will need to move out of our apartment. But I don't want to go over there yet."

"Well…" Rose started, "if you need help with anything, you know you can come to us."

"Thank you both," I said glancing to two my friends. "You guys have been my rock, my support. I love you guys."

"We love you, too." Alice and Rose wrapped their arms around me for a group hug.

"Bella…" I turned to my mother who was holding today's mail. "This just came for you." She handed me an envelope.

I looked at the return address. University of Pennsylvania. I tore it open and read the contents.

"What does it say?" Alice inquired trying to peek over my shoulder.

"Apparently, I'm being offered a teaching position in their English department."

"Isn't that Ivy League?" Rose asked.

"Yes."

"I don't remember you applying for any jobs outside of Washington, Bella," my mother added.

"I didn't. It says here that they heard about my good work at UW as a teaching assistant and want to make me an associate professor."

"Bella, that's so exciting!" Alice exclaimed.

"That's awesome, Bella." Rose chimed in. "So you're taking it right?"

"I…I don't know," I hesitated. "I need to think about it…"

"What is there to think about? The one thing that could have held you up ditched you at the altar. This would be a good way to start over for you." Leave it to Rosalie to be direct and to the point.

"Honey, she's right," my mother said, placing an arm around my shoulders. "You don't have to worry about me or your father. We'll be fine. This could really be good for you."

I would be moving across the country, away from Forks, away from my family, but I would be putting the much needed distance between me and him. I would miss everyone, but I had to agree, it would be a good start.

"Yes," I announced. "I'm taking it."

A/N: And there she goes…next chapter is almost done, so it'll be up shortly.