Soooo...This is where it becomes my own interpretation and ideas of what could, should and shall happen so now its UA :) as always I do not own Bleach, but please review or Pm me, for both critiques and throw some ideas at me for more hilarious ideas to occur in this fic.

Ch 3: Reasons to wear high heels

Urahara watched as Orihime's body stiffened and turned with such a robotic grace that he felt shivers ripple down his spine, it will take time getting use to those two inhabiting the others body. Seeing that sweet clumsy redhead take on Ulquiorra's mannerisms and stoic expression was a special kind of nightmare reserved for hiding under the covers and praying to every deity she doesn't find you. As the 'other' Orihime went to help Ulquiorra's pathetic scream, Urahara watch through the thick shadows of his hat breathing a sigh of relief.

"Did it go as planned?"

Urahara looked at the black feline that sauntered in, her tail swishing with interest.

" It did, and it will be a sobering experience for the both of them." He chuckled a smirk gracing his lips as the pair heard a deep male baritone cry out like a frightened school girl and a cold female voice was spitting out orders. "Maybe enlightening is a better term."

"You are having too much fun with this Kisuke." The feline huffed watching as the male bit back laughter.

"Why Yoruichi my dear you know I have a specific reason for this little trick." He gasped feigning offence as he opened his fan to dramatically cover his dry eyes. "Don't you trust me?"

"About as far as I can throw you." She responded, ears laying flat as she watched the man with weary eyes.

Urahara scratched the stubble at his chin as he thought about his latest victim's circumstances. 'Those two, will this help or hinder their fragile relationship?'

" Have you broke it to them yet, that they will have to live together for a week till that prank wears off?" Yoruichi asked as she rubbed a shoulder against the upturned chair.

"Not yet, after whatever little disaster Miss Inoue has found herself in with Ulquiorra's body, then I shall send the gender confused duo back to her apartment, with strict warnings of no hanky-panky and condoms."

Yoruichi looked at the male with a sigh, he plays the incompetent fool too well some days in her opinion. She just could not shake the feeling that something was off to her, why is Kisuke going to such lengths to simply get Ulquiorra out of the house for a week when a simple request to the former espada would work...Most likely Kisuke was too cheap to pay for a hotel for the man to reside in for a week, that sounded to be the most likely scenario. During said week negotiations following the Winter War was to occur at Shoten as a safe middle ground for the Soul Reaper and Hueco Mundo representatives to discuss a treaty of sorts. Ulquiorra was considered dead by all means, and his being in fact alive would only cause an uproar, he who was formerly known as the loyal dog of traitor Aizen, could only muddle this historic agenda. This fragile meeting could easily dissolve with such information, giving the Soul Society basis for suspicion and possibly spark another war, both fractions are already unstable as it is and are just looking for any means to persecute the other. If things are not settled with this meeting things could become ugly once more and neither realms including the human one could handle the fallout, they were walking a tightrope covered in oil with no safety net and both sides seemed to be holding either scissors or fire. Yoruichi looked grimly at the distorted shadows reflected in the dark Tv screen, the coming days felt like they would be dancing upon on the brink of the apocalypse.

Orihime's kopaku form kneeled before her body wrapping shaking fingers around her chain of fate, she watched with wide eyes as the chain slowly started to warp and pulse as it began to dissolve, the ends becoming black dots of soot that floated away from her prone body. Panic was bouncing in her breast as inch by inch her chain disintegrated right before her terrified eyes.

Ulquiorra's hollow form watched without passion, his once familiar form felt heavy like thousands of chains weighing down his every muscle and limb, clipping his wings from escaping the suffocation, he couldn't even move his mouth, much less his tongue to possibly help soothe the Onna. He too was enveloped in the fear that her reiatsu was sending out like shockwaves, the pressure and horror twisting around their souls. A sharp tug sent Ulquiorra's form forward, he swallowed the painful grunt as invisible hooks that bore into his hollow form started dragging him towards the Onna's body.

Orihime let out a shriek as the last of her chain dissolved and a powerful yank round her seal sent her kopaku form forward, stumbling pass Ulquiorra hollow body. Her scream increased as the tips of her fingers and toes began to melt into stranges globs of black that plopped like fat raindrops on to Ulquiorra's gigai, the black goo seeming to seep into the body like a sponge.

He couldn't move, couldn't turn to see what ripped that scream of horror from the Onna's throat, much less voice is own growing concern as he was being twisted and shoved towards the Onna's human body. His suspicions of Urahara's motives for forcing the candies upon him and Orihime began to clear and his form slowly began to dissolve into black mist that settled upon Orihime's fair skin like morning dew, it seeped into her pores absorbing Ulquiorra bit by bit. The moment his soul nestled within the Onna's body is the same instance Urahara signed his death warrant.

Urahara watched the door that hide whatever shenanigans the two were shoved into, his eyes narrowed as he stared holes into the very grain. 'That gigai of Ulquiorra's is going to cause that girl a level of difficulty, but I believe in that child she has so much potential but her motivation is a shallow dedication.' He pinched the bridge of his nose as concern fluttered in his stomach. 'Ulquiorra, now that you're in Orihime's body you face a new challenge discovering a purpose outside of Aizen's hand.'

"Kisuke can we skip the pretenses." His eyes glowed as he looked down upon the feline, an intense air seething from the man as he watched her patiently.

"Why did you make them switch bodies?" She was curious and he wonder only doubled as he leveled her with loaded look from beneath that silly hat of his, it always poured shadows over his face giving her glimpses of his real intent.

"Oh?" He gave sniff and tapped his fan against his chin in contemplation. "I though it would be fun, plus now I can watch my season finale re-run tomorrow in peace."

Somehow this story just keeps playing out in my mind like a movie and I can't start updating! I hope people are enjoying it and that I'm staying true to the characters