A/N: First THG fanfic, yay! Or, at least posted to FF. Net. I am most active on DeviantArt, so this is being posted from there and Tumblr. I wrote this and another prompt for the Everlark Fic Exchange on Tumblr, and it was a blast, plus an excuse to FINALLY write something for probably one of my favorite ships ever. This was submitted a while ago, and I decided to post it here as well. I had another whitch will be posted soon after this, and another Everlark/Hunger Games fic in the works as well. So be sure to check them out if you enjoy this! And please don't forget to leave a review or like, both are so much encouragement you have no clue.

Prompt: 16: Au where hijacked Peeta is told he killed Katniss and has to deal with the guilt of killing the only girl he's ever loved, and then later once he's mostly back to himself he's told she's actually fine [submitted by Anonymous]

Peeta was numb to everything but the powerful, almost consuming ache in his heart. The little blonde girl whom had come to tell him was screaming and crying. Her loud cries hardly registered to him. He couldn't muster the energy to wipe the stray tear that fell from his wide eyes.

She was dead. Katniss Everdeen was dead- choked to death by him. She hadn't been moving as the guards had pried him off her. And she hadn't been breathing either. But Peeta had never thought he had actually killed her. The fact should have relived him. But the idea that she was dead struck his heart like a dagger, piercing it with unexplained overwhelming grief. Her little sisters screamed, raging, tearful words didn't cut through his inner pain.

In the deepest places of him mind, he knew why. He had loved her. Had been stupidly, foolishly, in love with her. And being as naïve as he had been, he thought that she loved him too.

Katniss Everdeen was a mutt. A lying, manipulative, evil, creation whom would kill him if he didn't end her first. Deserved to be killed, as so many who had tried to help her had. That's what she did, get people to trust her and than throw them to the wolves for her own survival. She had lied to him, made him believe that she loved him when she was doing nothing but using him. She was no better than President Snow, or the Gamemakers who make a living killing innocent children. The world would be a safer place without her.

But her death had hurt more than anything he could remember.

Katniss didn't need her voice for Haymitch to know she didn't want to go through with this. Her distress radiated from her being. Even this evil, sick, Capitol version of Peeta hurting was almost impossible to watch. The Capitol couldn't take it away. Couldn't take away his love for her. Her Peeta was in there somewhere, and knowing he was hurting this way was to much. She had caused him far to much pain as it were.

None of the idea made sense. To her, at least. It was a split second option the doctors and Prim herself created, an attempt to do something to, in essence, override the Hijacking. Let him think she's dead, allow his fear to ease. Than try to sort through the real memories they think must be buried in his mind somewhere. Bring them forth and show him that what he thinks was what the Capitol wanted him to think. They had no clue how successful it would be, but it's better than the alternative. Letting him rage, be violent till- maybe- they could calm and convince him the memories were not real.

Prim herself offered to tell him. She was her sister, and an emotional reaction from someone would possibly convince him more that she was dead. Pulling her aside, Prim promised this could work. That it could, if they went about it right, bring him back to her. Katniss almost wanted to trust the positivity and assurance in her precious baby sisters voice. "I promise you, Katniss. I'll bring him back. If Peeta's there, I promise to bring him back to you. Trust me."

That's when Katniss had saw the part of Prim she shared with her. It was for her, Prim was doing this for her. All she could do was nod. The older sister had hugged her tight before the doctors pulled her away. Katniss wasn't convinced, but there was no other choice.

"Do you want to help him? Give him a chance at being who he was?" He asked in a hushed voice, so only she could hear. Haymitch was in this for more that District 13 too. A curt, vicious nod was his reply. "Than go along with it."

If this got him back, she would. And as hard as it was. Because Peeta was in there somewhere. And that much Katniss had to believe. That he would come back to her somehow. No one could take away Peetas love for her. Not even the Capitol.

The memories didn't come back all at once, but slowly trickled back in as they forced him to watch and relive them. As he saw them on the screen, his body remember feeling it. Smelling it, seeing it. The emotions of the 'real' moment that seemed to go against what his memory actively remembered. And to be sure, they were there. Katniss dropping the Tracker Jacker nest on him. Deliberately mistreating his leg wound, hoping to kill him with infection and fever. Her laughing and telling him on the train that it was never real, just a way to make it out alive. All of it and more.

But he couldn't deny the realness of the feelings of what they showed him. An almost overwhelming confusion settled in. It was like every one of his memories was being called into question. The truth of his last almost two years of life was unknown. It became which he was going to believe, and how well he remembered the memories had they truly been tampered with.

At first, District 13 was almost as much as prison as the Capitol. Only he was chained to a bed. But the Doctors seemed to be trying to calm him, not quiet him. He got a regular supply of food here as well, and treated with respect. And after the first week or so, they allowed him to be uncuffed so long as he remained in control around them. Delly and several other of his school friends were allowed to visit. The doctors and all of his visitors all said the same thing. That, combined with the unmistakable feelings he felt whenever they showed him footage of what they claim to have actually happen, he decided to trust what they said.

Than it was learning to know which memories were real or not real. After several months in 13, and several weeks of the gut retching confusion of the memories, he broke and snapped at Prim(who, even though he had ended her sister, had wanted to be a part of his recovery 'Katniss would have wanted you to be better, yourself again' she claimed) and one of the other head doctors- Dr. Aurelius, he called himself. It was then Prim found a way to sort through the confusion. It was as simple as basically asking. At first, it seemed almost too simple.

"Tell me a memory you are unsure is real or not, and I'll tell you if it is or isn't the best I can." She said. "It'll be a game- Real or Not Real."

"How do I know your telling the truth?" He questioned, reasonably. For a split second, Prim stiffened at that.

"I saw both the games. Me and Katniss...I was probably the closest to her, before she died." She made sure leave a hurt hitch in her voice. "I can't tell you everything, but I can tell you more honestly than anyone else alive."

Before they started, Prim and the doctors left. When they returned, he asked and Prim answered. Most of the time, it was the distant memories that were true. But sometimes, he was told that reality was confusing. The nest was dropped on him by Katniss, but not to hurt him. To scatter the careers and more importantly, to get the bow and arrows and flee from her place in the trees. She didn't tell him it was all an act, simply that she was confused. And the cold shoulder he had given her had hurt more than she had ever let on.

They continued on like this for days. His doctors though, left this sorting out of memories to Prim.

Though it quickly became clear she was being fed answers somehow. Some of the memories she was not there for, or it was not filmed during the games for her to have seen,. Would seem strange for Katniss to mention offhandedly, even to her sister. Her responses held both his and Katniss emotions, something she would surely not have known. Even so, he for some reason believed the answers. They seemed to match the feelings he remembered, and made some sense.

"Katniss and I slept together every night on the train, it helped the nightmares. Real or not real?" He asked. Curiosity in his voice as he sorted through the memories in his head. This was not uncommon when they played this game. Him trying to sort through things. She was glad, though. He was starting to remember more details about these memories.

She forced herself to speak into the microphone clearly. The one with a direct line to the speaker hidden in her little sisters ears. "Real" She said. Even though she tried to make it remain steady, her voice was still shaking, not being helped by the fact her throat and voice were still weak from the injury. The nights on the train all ran through her head as they often did, as well as the night before the Quarter Quill and in the Cave. When his arms had been the only place she could feel safe. Where she could think, even if for a small amount of time, things might improve.

Peeta had always had that effect on her. And she would give anything to have it now.

It hurt to think about those things now. To imagine those moment that meant so much to her were lost to him. That she would likely never feel that way again. That feeling of total serenity and peace she only found with Peeta. Still, he had to know everything. As hard as it was. Peeta needed the truth now more than ever. The truth, making him remember real memories, or believe that they were true, would be the only way to get a chance to have him back. And if doing this did that, well, she was willing to suffer a little.

"That's real." Prim said. Her voice much sturdier and stronger that Katniss's. Peeta's face looked pensive. Then accepting. Clearly believing what she was saying, if reluctantly.

Everyone in the room behind the one-way glass window seemed to sigh in relief except her. Every little thing he remembered was a small victory to them, but it was massively different to her. Katniss would be relived when she could hold him again.

With each memory, he loved Katniss Everdeen more. Or...remembered he had. It was clear he never really stopped, but had been fighting it. His love for her was what made him so angry when he feared her, and what caused the seemingly never-ending grief at her death.

Remembered the feeling more vividly. Hearing her sing in kindergarten. How her hand shot up, quicker than he could remember seeing and how the Mockingjays outside stopped to listen. The feeling of happiness and affection that grew in his chest that day, overwhelming affection and what he would learn one day was love. Throwing her the bread. Her starved, bone thin body leaning on the tree. And wanting nothing more to take it out to her, but he couldn't. The cave, the nights on the train. The entire day before their second games. The warmth and rightness of her in his arms.

But it was the kiss on the beach in the second games that made him want to visit her grave. It wasn't much different than the altered version, except Katniss had been so far away. Distant, and she seemed to be thinking about someone else. But the truth was different. She had been pressing up to him entirely, wanting to be closer even if she was in his lap. An electricity and warmth spread through him everywhere she touched. And she kept pulling him closer, kept touching him and moving into his touches. It was so clear how she felt.

There was no lying there, that kiss was so obviously real it made the slow ache of her death- her murder by his hands- burst into a grief so all consuming he stopped and cried. Which grew to all out screaming. Even more than the stabbings of sadness when he had heard she was dead in the first place. All the sudden, he was screaming out. He loved her. He had loved her so much and maybe, just maybe he had been lucky enough for her to love him back, and he had killed her. He would never have the chance to hold her, or even see her again, and he still struggled with the memories he had of her.

He had killed her. He had killed the girl he loved.

The fact caused him so much overwhelming pain he raged and screamed and cried for hours, and once clamed, Peeta stayed silent for days. Wallowing in pain and regret. Several days later, he meekly answered with single words or phrases.

It took an few more days to ask Prim if he would be allowed to see her grave. As much as he knew he had no right to visit her resting place, he can't imagine that being the end. Her looking at him and watching the man she loved, who she trusted. Katniss probably had been so happy to see him, so relived and all he did was wrap his hands around her neck till all the air left her lungs. The fear she mush of felt, the betrayal, the hurt. He guessed the hijacking was in it's own way a good thing- perhaps he felt a fraction of her pain.

Primrose seemed to go stiff and still with shock. But the girl seemed excited at the same time. A quick response of having to ask the officials of District 13 excused her, but not before she is making a show of writing a note on his clipboard at the end of the bed. Of all the times she has came, talked to him, worked with the doctors to treat him, she had never left a note on his charts. His blood runs cold when he reads it after she leaves.

Katniss is alive and fine. She wants to see you. Tell you more when everyone goes to sleep.

-Prim

That night, he couldn't sleep because of his nerves. He was shaking. Katniss was alive. There were two different reactions in his conflicted brain. Happiness, joy and excitement. Relief in spades. Katniss is alive and well, he can see her again and be with her. And even more so; she wants to see him! Even after what he did. Than there was the hijacked part of his brain saying that she had come back to haunt him. Drag him into the after life with her. Made every part of his body want to lock around her neck again until she stopped breathing.

Still, he sat awake until late into the night. It was so silent he could hear himself breathing and his heart beating fast with anxiety till he heard the two pairs of footsteps down the hall. Hear the mechanisms in the door move before the door actually opened.

For the first time in months, he saw Katniss Everdeen up close and in the flesh. Her eyes were equal mixes of scared and excited. Her insides were a twister of both emotions. Prim quickly moved to the opposite side of the room. The look of her wasn't marvelously different, she was still slim and lean, dark skinned and haired and had pricing grey eyes, but a blessing to him. Even her almost permeant, adorable scowl made his heart lift.

She hesitantly stepped closer. One step at a time and with her attention entirely locked onto his face, his reactions. Desperately gauging his reaction to her. Peeta could tell he was doing the same. He stood form the bed. Peeta, always having had a way with words, spoke first.

"I...I thought you were dead. That I killed you." He uttered.

"And I thought Snow took you away form me. I guess we both lost each other. Or we thought" She spoke. Quietly and unsurely.

She seemed to not be able to help herself, and quickly moved to embrace him. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders without hesitation. It felt so unfamiliar and familiar at the same time it was almost impossible for him to do anything but hold her back. Which he did instantly. Pulling her gently close to him for the first time in he wasn't quiet sure how long. But it must have been some time, because all he could think of was how much he missed this.

Peeta's arms cocooned her in the security and safety she had missed, and once again, he gave her hope for the future. Because he was holding her, resting his head in her hair. It was completely obvious with the tightness in his shoulders he wasn't completely back to himself yet, but she was going to be here to help him, fight with and for him still. Her body felt the same, warm and soft and completely right against his. Lifting his heart and making him feel lighter than he had in so, so long. At the same time, nagging voice still in his head screamed it was a trap. But for the first time in a long time, Peeta was sure those doubts would flow away. And with her by his side, he could fight this.