Chapter 9

The CDC had literally blown up in their face. Merle and Daryl sat up in their truck looking out at the burning building.

"Fuck." Daryl breathed out. Merle snorted and they drove off leading the small caravan out of the city.

"Now what? It's not like we really need all these damn people." Merle shook his head looking at the train of cars behind them in the rearview mirror.

"Probably better to stick with a group for a bit, we'll get more news that way." Daryl bit his thumb. Merle glanced at the younger man.

"I guess. We'll see how it goes." He answered without much enthusiasm. It was hard letting go, giving Daryl this much of a voice, but he was trying.

"But these people are weak." He added. "If they keep making these dumbass decisions, we're out."

Daryl nodded, "We could go look for her." He said softly. His brother had been in a funk since Emily left. It would be hard for outsider eyes to catch the differences in his demeanor but Daryl could see it. Merle laughed a whole lot less, his wide grin had been missing for days and he actually let people say stupid things around him without one smart ass comment. It was making Daryl uncomfortable.

"Don't fuckin' want to find her." His brother snapped back, "Don't even know where the fuck she is."

That was the real problem, they had no real idea where to start and Merle's pride wouldn't let them just wander around in the general direction to look for a woman. Daryl chewed on his lip, not for the first time he wished he knew how to talk to his brother. He wondered what they would have been like if they hadn't gotten so fucked up inside.

It was clear Merle cared for the girl, she was different from anything they'd ever had, and even Daryl missed her a little. Emily might have broken through his walls given time but he'd kept her at arm's length when he noticed how Merle would look at her, he probably should have stepped aside let Merle have her completely. He had tried when he met Amy but his brother had gone and fucked the older sister which confused him. He clearly didn't like the woman any more than Daryl had liked Amy but Merle could have just stayed with Emily. It didn't make any fucking sense to him and Merle wouldn't take to kindly to him prying.

Merle was staring out at the road in front of them, he'd been trying to not think of Emily. He'd been trying and failing. Daryl was wrong, it wasn't his pride keeping him from searching for the girl, it was his conscious. His mind was much clear now that he'd run out of drugs, he could see all the selfish low-down things he'd done. He saw all the ways he'd failed as a big brother, he wasn't a saint, never would be but he was trying damnit. He wanted Emily bad, he wanted to search for her, take his brother traipsing all over Georgia looking for her. It was selfish, just like always, so he did the opposite of what he wanted in the hopes that it was the right choice for once.

Emily had probably already forgotten him anyway. The twins would be stupid if they hadn't already hit that. Emily would sleep with them if she had to, especially now that she was alone and even more emotionally vulnerable. He rubbed his brow, he should have comforted her, she could be sitting here between his brother and him, her warm body pressed up against his.

He got a flash of Emily on her knees between the two Irish getting fucked by Daryl's twin and sucking off the light haired one. They would tag team her, the motherfuckers, even he and Daryl hadn't done that. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, causing Daryl to jump.

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Emily was sitting next to Murphy, he and his brother hadn't made the moves on her once. She had been prepared for what she thought was the inevitable request for payment but it had never come. Murphy seemed interested in her but kept his attention respectful. She tried not to compare him to Merle, she did her best not to think of Merle at all but it was hard. Connor and Murphy were the polar opposites of Daryl and Merle. They hugged often and didn't seem to have any secrets or boundaries with each other. With the Dixon's she had noticed there were always boundaries and affection was rarely given. In fact she couldn't remember them ever being affectionate with each other.

"Penny for your thoughts." Murphy nudged her with his knee, he did that a lot, using any little excuse to touch her.

"Nothing much, we haven't gotten very far."

"Everything happens for a reason." Connor light up a smoke and handed it to her.

"Thanks," she smiled. "Even our car dying ten miles out?" she removed her shoes and rubbed her feet.

"Yes, love. Even that." Murphy nudged her again. "Whatever that boom we heard was, it might have been us."

Please God, don't let it have been Merle! She nodded "True, I guess."

"We should try to find some houses soon, we are getting low on food."

"I know how to make snares." Emily offered. "I don't know how good I am at it without supervision but we could try."

Murphy took a big drag of his cigarette, "Those guys teach you?"

Emily looked down and nodded "Yeah, they showed me how to clean and cook the meat too."

She saw the brothers give each other a quick glance. "Thanks love," Murphy finally said. "We'd appreciate you teaching us too."

"Sure."

They gathered their supplies and set off to find a place to set up the snares with Emily in the lead.

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Merle searched the ground around the creek bed, Daryl gave him a look.

"Tracks right here. She did as you said." His brother reassured Rick.

"Yep." Merle agreed with his brother's assessment. Now they were stuck looking for a fucking kid. Rick started ordering people around but was smart enough to ask for his and his brother's help instead of order it.

They did try to help, Merle was annoyed to all hell with the lot of them but he did try to find the girl and now they had added an injured kid to their lot, for their trouble. He stood outside the RV smoking from their last pack of cigarettes. He couldn't stand hearing that woman cry for her kid anymore, stupid bitch should have watched the girl better, should have run after her instead of letting Rick take care of it on his own.

He sighed, officer friendly wasn't so bad, still delusional about the world, idealistic, but that would change soon enough. Daryl stepped out of the RV and Merle handed him a new smoke, lighting the tip with own.

"Gonna look around for a bit, see if I see anythin'." Daryl scanned the tree line as he spoke.

"I'll go with ya." Daryl's eyes widened a bit in surprise. He let him finish his smoke, before walking ahead of his younger brother.

"Remember when I got lost in the woods." Daryl's soft voice drifted over from behind him.

"Yeah," Merle remembered hearing about it, he'd been in juvie for breaking into the school and pissing on his English teacher's desk and then going to her house and stealing her brand new car. The bitch had made some dumbass comment about Merle being too stupid to understand one of the books they were reading and he'd lost his temper. He understood everything the dumb cow gave them to read, he was just fucking bored with the class, it went too damn slow with her explaining every little obvious thing.

He had come home to a skinny Daryl with poison oak rash all over his ass, just another way he'd let his brother down.

"Least this girl's got someone lookin' for her." His brother continued. Merle rolled his eyes, continuing on ahead, guess they were going to keep looking.

"We'll find her then maybe we'll bounce." He growled out.

"Sure, Rick and Glenn ain't too bad but the rest of them are dumb as all hell." Daryl agreed.

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Emily's snares had worked, she felt her chest swell with pride as they sat and ate the two rabbits they caught. She was more than pulling her weight and the guys had been very generous with their praises.

"That was some good eatin' love," Connor patted his belly with satisfaction. "How bout the two of you get some sleep. I need to walk for a bit, I'll keep watch." He stood up and stretched.

Murphy stood up as well and extended his hand to Emily to help her up. She stood and closed her eyes stretching and feeling her back pop as she did so. When she finished she found Murphy eyeing her body openly. Connor had disappeared into the tree line and she realized for the first time in a while, her and Murphy were alone.

He moved closer to her, Emily didn't step back. Murphy glanced down at her lips, tilting his head and moving closer until he mere inches from her mouth.

"Do you want me to stop Emily?" he whispered.

The question surprised her, it wasn't like Merle or Daryl ever really asked if she wanted to or not. She swallowed and shook her head. Murphy smiled and closed the distance between their mouths.

Emily put her hands on his shoulders. He was so different, he held her gently, rubbing her back and massaging her tongue with his like they had all the time in the world. Emily relaxed into his arms, she thought that maybe the skills she'd learned with the Dixon brothers would be enough to keep her out of another "arrangement" but if it wasn't that was OK too. She did like Murphy, he was nicer to her than any other man had been before. He was a gentleman and so was his brother, after what she'd done with the Dixon's, a deal with the MacManus brothers didn't scare her.

Murphy moved from her mouth to her neck place soft hot kisses down the column of her neck and her shoulder.

"Are you going to want me to do your brother too?" Emily asked, better to get it all out in the open, she figured.

Murphy froze, "What?"

Emily blinked up at him, "Your brother, is he going to want to too? What do you expect?"

He stepped away from her, "Jesus Christ!"

"Lord's name." Connor came out from between the trees. "What the hell is happening here then?"

Emily rung her hands together, she'd clearly upset Murphy. He was much more subtle than Merle in everything else, maybe he hadn't wanted their situation to be so spelled out.

"She thinks were like those fucking bastards." Murphy walked up to his brother, clearly agitated. Connor for his part kept a cool head. He stared at his brother until Murphy stopped pacing and looked back. Emily could see a silent conversation passing between them, Connor's face twisted in understanding.

"Emily," he finally said, his eyes moving from his brother's to hers. "I have no interest in sharing women with my brother." He gave her a small smile when he saw her nervously fidgeting.

"You're a beautiful woman, don't sell yourself short, love." He looked back at his brother. "I'm going to take another walk." With that he disappeared again.

"Murphy." She hated how weak and small her voice sounded. "Are you angry with me?"

He didn't turn to look at her, "No, love." He shook his head. "I'm angry with meself."

"I'm sorry, I just thought.." she sighed. "I guess I thought once a whore always a whore. Nobody gives anything away for free."

He finally turned to face her, "I don't want a deal, I don't want an arrangement, love. If that's what this is to you then we can just go back to the way it was, no hard feelings." He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand.

"But then, you just wanted to kiss me? That's it?"

"Ay, you're a pretty girl Emily and you're a survivor. I like you, that's all." He shrugged.

"I like you too." She mumbled. "You're nice to me."

"Merle, and that other one, they weren't nice to you?" he stepped closer to her.

"He was, it's just, it was in his own way…I guess…but he never lied to me about what it all was. I was the one that got it mixed up in my head. We would laugh a lot and sometimes I would think he got jealous when it was Daryl's turn. I guess I made it out to be more than it was, like it was special or something. It's really different with you."

Murphy nodded. "I'm not out to use you. We aren't those men."

"I think," Emily paused, she wasn't sure why she felt the need to defend the Dixon's after how they just thrown her away.

"Go on, tell me love."

With Murphy's encouragement she finished her thought. "They use to get beat." Murphy's soft gaze hardened. "Their dad, he…." She breathed deeply "He left all these terrible scars on them. Daryl let me see his but Merle never did. I only know about Merle's because Daryl told me. I think they're just messed up, even with each other. They aren't like you and Connor."

Murphy looked away from Emily, he'd been hurt that she would think so little of him, that she would compare them to the Dixon's, but now he felt guilty.

Judge not lest ye be judged yourself He thought. The entire situation between Emily and the Dixon's was wrong but perhaps he had judged them too quickly and too harshly.

The younger of the two had scoped them out before they took Emily. Murphy had been too annoyed at the similarities between them to really pay attention but Connor pointed it out to him later. They had also taken the time to teach her things, her comment about Merle and her laughing and getting along also made him pause. At the very least they had been straight forward with the girl, there had been no trickery or conniving on their part.

"Maybe you're right." He answered.

He was starting to think Emily was on to something, the Dixon's had severe emotional issues stemming from their abuse. Emily was a bit unhinged herself, judging by her reactions to things. He supposed when it came to it, he and Connor had no room to judge any of them for that, after all, they killed people. He was sure of their mission but he didn't pretend they were "normal".

He smiled at Emily, relived when she smiled back. Steady women were never really a possibility before, they spent too much of their time planning and hiding and they never wanted to put someone else in harm's way. Maybe things were going to change, for Emily and him.

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