Taeyeon's POV
Though you probably don't know this...*Yawn*
"I'm tired. Scoot over."
"No." Tiffany looked away annoyingly.
They are currently on a train, on their way to work. Tiffany managed to get a big empty seat while Taeyeon held on to a handle in front of her.
Taeyeon glared, "You're directly disobeying your boss. I'm still recovering from my cold, you know?"
"That has nothing to do with me. You should just get better faster."' That's every morning's grumbly Tiffany for you.
Taeyeon smirked, "It's hard to cure a cold when you get soaking wet and naked with a certain someone."
Tiffany blushed remembering what they did in Taeyeon's bedroom that rainy night, "Oh look! A seat way over there opened up! Why don't you go sit down?"
Taeyeon looked over at the seat Tiffany pointed at as people got off and only a few including them were left, "Right, right" With a sigh, Taeyeon patted Tiffany's hair getting her flustered before going over to the open seat. She leaned back on the seat and yawned again as she looked at the ceiling of the train.
Why does she have to be so pissy now? She was so much nicer back then.
Well...her basic character certainly hasn't changed at least.
Still, I'm pretty sure there's no way she would come out and just say I love you with that personality she has now.
That reminds me...
I knew who she was before she even confessed, didn't I?
Wait...
How did I know who she was...?
Oh...
Right...
That...
"I love you...Sunbae..."
Taeyeon eyes widened as she looked at the cute girl who just confessed to her.
Oh shit! That's clearly what she was thinking when she confessed...and I already knew her name.
"...You want to go out with me?" I asked her.
She was Tiffany Kang...my stalker.
"Be sure to turn in your slips by next week detailing the desired date for your parent-teacher-child meeting." The teacher announced as the bell rang indicating that class has ended, "Discuss your university choices with your parents! Every year I hear some parents saying they have never heard anything about this!"
Taeyeon who had been looking at the teacher, quite bored, was approached by a male classmate.
"Umm, Taeyeon-ssi? Would you mind if I borrowed your notes for history?" He asked shyly.
"Why?" Taeyeon looked at the guy stoically.
"Ah, I- I was absent yesterday...and I heard your notes are always easy to understand!"
Taeyeon silently took out her history notebook and gave it to the guy who had the brightest smile on his face.
"Thank you!" The guy looked incredibly happy as he walked back to his friends with Taeyeon's notes.
Taking a last glance at the clock, Taeyeon grabbed her bag and went out of the classroom.
Only 4 o'clock...
It's my daily routine to kill time until they kick everyone off the grounds in the little school library that no one ever comes to. The reason is...because it's boring being at home.
"Ah!...Ta- Taeyeon-Sunbae!" A girl with brown rushed to Taeyeon as she saw her enter the library.
Taeyeon stared blankly at the girl that goes by the name of Tiffany Kang. Tiffany who was sitting at one of the tables looked down as Taeyeon passed by behind her.
"Aren't you going home?" Taeyeon asked.
"Yes, I am!" Tiffany looked up, "...ah, I mean...that is...I wanted to...ask something..."
"What?" Taeyeon who was checking a book on the shelve nearby looked at Tiffany. Waiting for her to continue.
"Umm...ah...you...and me, umm...wh- when you said yesterday...that we could date...that was...a joke, right?"
Taeyeon stared at the girl who was looking down with a red face, "...Why ?" She asked.
It wasn't a joke...but I wasn't being serious either.
I knew about this girl from before.
When I went to re-borrow a few books I had read before, thinking to give them a second read. I recognized her name right bellow mine.
At that time I thought; you're telling me there is someone else who would read a weird book like this?
I didn't think much of it then, but...then I saw it had happened with every book I had read up to that point.
And around the same time, there happened to be an underclassman around who always seemed to be watching me.
I remember seeing her look at me while hiding behind the shelves.
And I thought to myself; that girl, huh.
When I realized it...that's when she confessed.
To tell the truth, I don't really get it. This girl...we have never even spoken to one another. What does she know about me? Even if it was love at first sight, that's even harder to understand.
And we're both girl. What the hell is up with that?
But still...this girl really seemed to genuinely like me.
So...I decided to completely shatter her illusions.
"I'm home," Taeyeon announced as she shut the door behind her.
As always, her cute little kitten was waiting for her at the doorway like every evening. As she picked up the kitten, Taeyeon saw that some of the lights were on. Upon entering the living room, Taeyeon saw that her parents were there, roaming around with some papers.
"You're late. Where have you been off hanging around? High-schoolers should act their age." That was her father in the living room
Not even a welcome home?
"Taeyeon, what's with that cat?" Her mother asked.
"I adopted it the other day," Taeyeon answered as the kitten slept in her arms.
"You know I hate animals!"
Taeyeon gulped to hold her tongue from saying something that would make her mother angry, "What are you both doing here at the same time anyway?"
"I came back to get my things and we just happened to meet is all." Her father said.
My father is a surgeon, my mother is a lawyer. From a public view, we're a pretty high-status family...but my family is...collapsing spectacularly.
"So...about my university choices. They told us to ask when you can come to a parent-teacher-child meeting." Taeyeon took out the paper they handed them at school and showed it to her parents.
"Have your mother go." That was all her father had to say before slamming the door of the living room as he went out.
"I just can't, it's the peak trial season right now. I don't have time to go to something like that. Can't you decided where you want to go on your own?" Her mother sighed, "Oh, and here. This month's living expenses." She tossed a little folder with a stack of money peaking out. Then she also left.
Taeyeon was left all alone once again. She glanced at the money left for her on the coffee table before sighing. She went to her room and changed, laid on her bed with the kitten playing on top of her.
Sometimes I feel like...people who turn to criminals are those who still have hope that if they give off some kind of S.O.S sign, things will work out. But for me, I don't even have the will to try such a thing. I know it's useless to even hope
That's just how I was raised, so I'm really cold to others. I have had boyfriends before, but...the more serious they got about me, the colder I got with them. I tried being in love with them, but...I couldn't.
...So ?
How do you date a girl? Is it like with a guy?
Wait...so, you can have sex, too? Man, I'm so not down with that...
That girl...she's totally giving off the aura of being raised in a loving home.
And it really just pisses me off.
The school bell rang indicating the end of the school day. Instead of staying late, today Taeyeon left early.
Oh, right.
The new issue was supposed to come out today...
Guess I will drop by the bookstore.
As Taeyeon went down to the shopping district. She spotted Tiffany standing in front of Subway. Looking right and left as if she's lost and is scared of something.
...What is she doing?
"Welcome! Will you be dining here? Or will this be taken out?"
Tiffany jumped back a little because of how enthusiastic the woman in the reception was, "Um, I-...Inside..." she didn't even know what to say.
"Understood. I will take your order when ready!"
Taeyeon watched the scene unfold in front of her silently.
"Umm...uh...then I will have this..." Tiffany pointed at an item on the menu.
"A tuna-cheddar-onion sandwich, right? Understood! What size would you like?"
"What? ah...umm...I guess a normal sized one...?" Tiffany fidgeted.
"We have half, regular and large."
"Huh?! umm, then I guess a half size..."
"What kind of bread would you like? We have plain, sesame, cheese and honey!"
"Eh?...ah."
"What kind of dressing would you like? We have wasabi, Caesar salad, French or Sweet chili!"
"Umm, uh...!"
"Would you like any extra toppings?"
"Ah..."
"What about a drink?"
"..."
In the end, Tiffany couldn't order for herself. When Taeyeon saw her eyes almost tearing up, she stepped up and took charge.
"...I'm sorry" Tiffany apologized, deciding to look at the sandwich in front of her instead of Taeyeon.
"It's fine, but are you sure you're alright with the same thing as me?" Taeyeon asked, sipping with the straw of her drink as she leaned back on her seat.
"Ah...yes, I'm fine with it. I'm sorry it's actually my first time coming into a place like this..." Tiffany said shyly.
"Seriously?"
"I was jealous when I saw a friend bring some in for lunch earlier and I wanted to try it myself...but I never expected to be met with a mountain of questions like that! and so many people were lining up behind me, I had no clue what to do!" Tiffany put her hand on her chest and heaved.
"Questions? You mean order?"
Tiffany took a bite of the sandwich and looked very taken aback, "Wow, this is delicious! I have never had anything like this before!" She looked at the sandwich in surprise.
"You never have fast food?" Taeyeon took a second to take the straw out of her mouth.
"Ah...no...my parents don't like that kind of stuff." Tiffany smiled awkwardly.
"Not even once?" Taeyeon asked in surprise.
"Never tried it."
"Instant?"
"Not that I know of."
Upon hearing that, Taeyeon leaned on her palm and thought to herself,
Are you kidding me?
A little princess raised in luxury.
"Ah, but...even if it was just a coincidence, I'm glad I was able to come someplace like this with you. Really really glad." Tiffany smiled and looked down shyly again.
She's probably speaking straight from the heart.
Maybe it's just me being contrary, but...when I see someone like her, all innocent and forward facing, it makes me realize all the dark, dirty parts of myself...and it irritates me.
Makes me want to destroy all that in her.
"What are you doing after this?" Taeyeon asked, sipping on her drink again.
"Ah, I was thinking of dropping by the bookstore. There is a magazine I want to buy that comes out today." Tiffany answered with a smile.
"Which?"
"A novel publication."
"SM Town?"
"Yes! That one! They just started serialized pieces that caught my eye."
"Bae Joohyun?"
"Yes! You read her stuff too?" Tiffany looked excited about having found a common ground with her Sunbae.
"I just thought she wrote some weird stories..." Taeyeon put her drink down in interest.
"They're interesting, right?" Tiffany leaned forward
Taeyeon nodded, "Apparently she's only a little younger than us"
"Seriously? Amazing!"
After that, Taeyeon was on her way home with a heavy mind.
Shit...
I just let myself get carried away with excitement.
What am I doing with that girl?
Yet...being able to talk about something I love as much as I want...was seriously fun...and it pisses me off for some reason.
Upon entering her house, Taeyeon picked her cat and was about to go up to her room but she stopped when she heard voices come from the living room.
Geez, they're still here?
They always bitch at each other if they run into one another.
They should just schedule their time when they're gonna be here.
"Ah, Taeyeon-ah." Her mother looked at her as she entered the living room, "You're just in time. Here is that print out for the interview you mentioned."
Taeyeon took the paper her mother handed her and her eyebrows raised a tad bit up in surprise, "You're actually going to come?"
Hearing the slam of the door, Taeyeon's mother turned back, "Wait a minute, We're not done talking!"
And just like that Taeyeon's mother followed her father out to yet, have another fight.
"Umm, so...your parents are aware of your university choices, correct?" The teacher had a deep frown on his face as he re-read the paper Taeyeon had just given him
Taeyeon looked back at him emotionlessly, "I don't know. I mean...I don't think they really care."
In the paper was a letter from Taeyeon's parents to her teacher;
Dear Mr. Park,
Thank you for taking care of our child.
Unfortunately, due to work reasons, we will
not be able to attend the meeting. regarding the
university choice, we have left this entirely up
to our daughter, you're free to discuss it with her.
Mr. & Mrs. Im
All Taeyeon could feel right now was anger, anger and more anger as she walked out of the teacher's room.
After all this time...I don't think I even want them to care.
But the fact that I can't shake these feelings of anger and frustration...doesn't that mean that somewhere, deep down, I do want them to?
I don't understand it...so I distract myself in the library.
"Ah! Sunbae!" Tiffany who was already in the library looked at her with a bright beautiful smile, "Umm, I bought that magazine we were talking about the other day!"
"What?" Taeyeon looked at the magazine between Tiffany's hands.
"It's the story we were discussing. You mentioned you hadn't read the beginning of the story, and I had a copy at home, so here!"
Anger, Anger, Anger.
What's with this girl?
Why does she look at me with that face?
Aah...it pisses me off.
"...Hey...why...do you do stuff like this?" Taeyeon looked away from Tiffany's face.
"Eh? Why, you ask...well, that's...because I thought you would be happy..." Tiffany looked down with a blush and a shy smile.
...
"...oying..."
"What?" Tiffany looking up, not quite hearing what Taeyeon is saying.
"You're annoying!"
Tiffany was surprised by Taeyeon's outburst.
"So...what's your deal?" Taeyeon was glaring at her.
"What?"
"What do you know about me?"
"Umm...S- Sunbae?"
"Telling me you love me when we haven't even had a conversation, I seriously don't fucking understand you!"
"U- Um! I'm so sorry, I- " Tiffany panicked.
"Why the hell are you apologizing?!"
"No, I mean-"
"Do you even know if you have done anything worth apologizing for? You go and get all excited on your own, and I seriously just can't follow!"
"I'm s- sorry! Umm, I- "
"And anyway, you are seriously...just gross!"
Tiffany looked at Taeyeon with a flushed face. She looked seriously hurt, "...ah, umm...I'm sorry...um, I..."
Taeyeon shook her head when Tiffany looked down.
"...You know, I would really rather be alone right now..."
"Ah, of course! I'm sorry. Please excuse me."
And with that, Taeyeon was left alone.
So, I hurt her...right?
I can't believe I exploded like that.
Even though I know not to expect anyone to come swooping in to save me when I just hurt someone else...
Well, that's how it is...
I'm not involved anymore.
Who cares about that girl?
Really...who cares...
A couple of hours has passed and Taeyeon was still settled on a chair reading whatever book there was.
"You're still here?"
Taeyeon looked up to see that It was a teacher.
"Run along home, the news said the weather is going to get bad." The teacher pointed at the big window that was soaked with rain drops all over it.
Heading home in this rain is gonna suck. I don't have an umbrella with me.
Even when I get home...it will just be me and the cat.
Walking out of the library, Taeyeon stopped in front of the entrance/exit of the school building and looked around wondering if there are any spare umbrellas. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of the girl she hurt just a couple of hours ago coming into the school building with an umbrella over her head and another one in her other hand.
Tiffany was looking down with a flushed face, "Umm...I thought maybe you had forgotten to bring an umbrella, so..." She closed the wet umbrella over her head to let it dry a little, "I'm sorry. I know it's none of my concern...if you have got one, then that's fine. I will just leave..."
"Aren't you pissed off for what I said earlier...?" Taeyeon asked.
"No...I mean, I understand perfectly well that I'm kind of gross...I'm at fault here. I'm sorry..." Tiffany was clenching her teeth nervously.
Taeyeon frowned when she saw Tiffany blushing even more, "Hey...why do you like me so much in the first place?"
"It-...It's a long story! It would take three days to tell!"
Damn, that is long...
"Uh, umm...Sunbae...I will listen to whatever you say, so...please talk to me!"
"What?" Taeyeon titled her head to the side, not understanding why Tiffany was saying that.
"If- If I'm the reason, then I apologize...but lately, you have looked...really pained, so I wondered if there is something I could do for you."
Pained?
What is she talking about?
"And you think talking it out will solve my problem?" Taeyeon said.
"It- It might not solve anything, but...I think even just getting some of it out will help you release some frustration from your body."
"What?"
"And I just thought...if it would help relieve you even a little bit, then..."
Taeyeon did not say anything and settled with staring at Tiffany's red face. Despite what she said to her earlier, Tiffany's feelings were not wavered one bit.
"Where is your bag?" Taeyeon asked.
"A- At home."
"Home?" Taeyeon raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. When I got home, it started raining, so I came back..."
Taeyeon sighed, "Gimme." she put her palm out.
"Yeah! Here!" Tiffany gladly handed her the umbrella she came back to school just to give her.
A minute later, the two were standing next to each other in front of the school building, watching the rain.
People who are nice to others...I always thought they acted that way expecting something in return.
But really...
With this girl, it's probably that she just...loves me. It's probably...just that. And nothing more.
Taeyeon looked down and reached out for Tiffany's hand. The moment she was able to grasp it, Tiffany screamed and took two steps away while hiding her right hand with her left. Taeyeon had question marks all over her face as she looked at Tiffany who was spazzing weirdly
"AH...UMM AH...UM...PLEASE BE CAREFUL GOING HOME!"
Taeyeon's wide eyes watched Tiffany as she ran away screaming and not even bothering to put her umbrella above her.
She almost cracked a smile and proceeded to go home herself.
There is seriously something wrong with her...but...because of her showing up in my life, I really feel like something has changed within me. And It's true that I have done something unlike myself, but it's also true that I realized how truly happy I could be...just by someone seriously thinking about me.
...What is this?
What is this feeling?
"I like you, Taeyeon-ssi."
Taeyeon stared blankly at the guy who borrowed her history notes.
"Umm..." She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
"You don't have to respond right away! Just please think about it!" The guy ran up the stairs leaving Taeyeon staring at his descending back.
He seemed like a nice guy and all...
It was Monday morning and all classes had to line up and go to the gym after class for the morning greeting.
"Ah, what a pain in the ass."
"The principle's speeches last forever!"
"We should all just pretend to faint!"
Taeyeon could hear her classmates complaining. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tiffany also lining up with her class.
It's her...
Tiffany who also noticed Taeyeon, looked back at Taeyeon with a shy smile. Because of walking while looking away from her destination, Tiffany had bumped into a pillar. Hard.
"What are you doing?"
"Ha ha ha."
Tiffany's classmates laughed at her before helping her up.
What's with that girl...?
"...Heh..."
Tiffany's face flushed red when she saw that Taeyeon had just chuckled at her. Taeyeon who realized that too, immediately looked away and followed her classmates' line.
Did I just laugh?
What the hell am I doing?
*badump* *badump*
Taeyeon stopped. What was happening in her chest? Looking back at Tiffany who was already walking away with her classmates did not help. Shaking her head in denial, Taeyeon continued her way.
*badump* *badump* *badump* *badump*
Feeling the urge to look at Tiffany again, Taeyeon stopped and looked back. She put a hand on her cheek and another on her chest. Her heart was beating so fast and loud and her cheek was very hot.
What...is this?
"I'm sorry." Taeyeon apologized to the guy in front of her.
"Do you have someone else you like?" The guy asked, looking down in disappointment.
Taeyeon also looked down, feeling her heart pounding again.
"...Kind of."
I still...don't really understand it.
"Sunbae!" Tiffany smiled brightly when she saw Taeyeon enter the library.
Why does she get such a smile on her face just by looking at me?
Even after I spoke to her like that, it baffles me how she can still love me.
"That author you like...a new volume just came out so I bought it and read it. It was really good! Would you like to read it? I don't mind if you take it home to read." Tiffany babbled on her own as Taeyeon took a seat beside her.
And the even stranger thing is that...I have started to feel like I might like that fact, too.
"...Hey."
Tiffany stopped talking and looked at Taeyeon who just called for her.
"Today...wanna come over?" Taeyeon stared at Tiffany who was also staring at her with her mouth slightly open. Just by being near her, Taeyeon's heart was beating very fast, "If you don't want to, you don't have to."
"What?! Oh, no! I mean, yes! I will. I will go! Please let me go!" Tiffany leaned forward with a very red face just because she imagined being with her Sunbae in her room.
Taeyeon couldn't take her eyes off Tiffany, also feeling her face heat up.
This...what is it?
Oh...yeah...I get it now...
...This is that love thing...
"Taeyeon!"
"...huh?" Taeyeon opened her eyes in daze.
"Don't huh me! We're almost there! Please wake up." Tiffany angrily pointed at the train doors that just opened to the station they're getting off in.
"You should have let me sleep *Yawn* I was feeling good." Taeyeon covered her mouth as the two of them walked out of the train. If she continued dreaming she would have reached the part where she took Tiffany home and slept with her for the first time.
"How would it look for the editor-in-chief to be absent for the meeting first thing in the morning?"
Taeyeon sighed and frowned at Tiffany who was walking ahead, "Hey, why are you so pissy all the time? You used to be so cute and straightforward."
Tiffany glared at Taeyeon out of the corner of her eye, "I will have you know...it's all your fault."
Taeyeon looked down and put a hand on her head, "Geez. Shit, my head really hurts..."
"Wai-...Hey! Taeyeon!" Tiffany leaned down with Taeyeon who was face palming, "Are you okay?!" She panicked.
"Oh crap, I'm gonna be sick..."
"Wait- ! Hold yourself together! Should we go to the restroom? Can you stand?" Tiffany helped Taeyeon up and made her sit down on a bench.
"I will be fine, just let me sit here for a second..." Taeyeon coughed.
Tiffany made Taeyeon lean on her as Taeyeon couldn't even get a hold of herself, "Umm- I will call the office, and after you rest a bit- "
"Aah...if only you were this nice all the time..." Taeyeon muttered.
Hearing that, Tiffany got a dark expression on her face as she let go of Taeyeon who seems to be able to sit alone now.
Taeyeon coughed again, "But seriously, I'm feeling really tired here...this cold, you know...it's a pain, so I guess I will take a sick day or two..."
"Go to work. If you take a fake sick day I will tell the whole company !" Tiffany smirked evilly as she took pictures of Taeyeon for proof.
"And you call yourself my subordinate? Wow." Taeyeon face palmed again as the dizziness came back, "Anyways, I really want to be with you today..." She said to Tiffany who's standing in front of Taeyeon.
"Wh- What the hell is with you?!" Tiffany looked away shyly, "Just go to work already!"
"Yeah, yeah."
Feeling her hand being held by Taeyeon, Tiffany looked away, not realizing that her face is flushed.
"I will go already...just give me a little energy boost, will you?" Taeyeon smiled under the face palm.
"H- How much is a little?" Tiffany said in a pissy manner even though she was blushing.
"Please just hold my hand for a while..." Taeyeon chuckled and reached for Tiffany's hand. Surprisingly. She wasn't rejected.
When I first met her, I never thought I would fall this much in love.
You weren't the first person I dated...but you were my first love.
Though you probably don't know this...