What If… Armie Berkowitz was Created During the Snap?
a crossover fanfic inspired by What If…?
by DecaTilde
From the sky, Thor Odinson descended onto the surface near Wakanda on Earth, where he hurled the axe weapon Stormbreaker onto the Titan Thanos' chest, after having completed the Infinity Gauntlet.
"I told you," Thor began, "you'd die for that."
Thor impaled Stormbreaker into Thanos' chest. The mad Titan shouted in pain.
"You should have…" Thanos began. "You… You should have gone for the head."
He readied his gloved left hand and got it to a snapping position. Thor tried to stop him.
"No!" he shouted as Thanos snapped with the gauntlet on.
A white flash shone from the six stones.
Chapter 1 - Created in a Lab, Alone
You've seen the outcome of what happened on Earth-199999, on May 31, 2018. The mad Titan Thanos snapped his fingers wearing the completed Infinity Gauntlet, resulting in the decimation of half of all life in the universe. But in thisuniverse, The Snap had also taken something else outside of the aforementioned designated universe. Something, or someone, that created life.
The hunchbacked scientist Dr. Cagliostro had fetched a couple test tubes with a hair sample each from the tallest tower of the Cagliostro Laboratories, Inc. building, and had placed the tube with the green hair sample in the base of his newly-named Metamorphicreatron, originally the Metamorphitron.
"It's been quite a while since I last gave the order, Torgo," he said to his Frankenstein monster of an assistant. "Activate the machine."
"Yes, Doctor," Torgo agreed. "Torgo activate machine."
And with that, Torgo pressed the button on the computer's keyboard, and pulled the lever. Gears started grinding, fluids filled flasks, the stoplight shone green, and the bulbs on the Metamorphicreatron flashed. Through the process, the hair sample was whisked from the base into the large tube next to the Metamorphicreatron, which filled up with a pink fluid. The tube flashed. In place of the hair sample, wearing wired wristbands and anklets and muzzle covered in a mask was a small pink creature with a pipevine swallowtail caterpillar back, a green rooster tail, green hair that went up, a red cat-like nose with whiskers, chicken legs, red eye shade and hand features that resembled those of meerkat, yellow eyebrows, and meerkat ears with green insides. The Doc was overjoyed—he had created life.
"Uh-oh," Torgo said, worriedly, getting the Doc's attention. "Doctor?"
The Doc's overjoyed expression gave way to fear. Torgo had crumbled into dust suddenly, from the feet to the head.
"Oh, dear," Dr. Cagliostro said sadly. "Right when I created life, something terrible has happened to my assistant."
The creature inside the tube awoke—it's eyes as yellow as the spikes on its back.
As the Doc reached the computer, he, too, started to crumble into dust.
"Oh, no," he said, looking at the dust that used to be his left hand flying in the wind.
He then turned to the creature as he pressed a button on the keyboard with his remaining hand, before it, too, crumbled.
"You, my little friend, are this lab's last hope for the future."
With those final words, Dr. Cagliostro crumbled into dust completely.
The creature in the tube was distraught when the fluid drained.
"I can't believe it," the creature said in a gruff male Brooklyn accent as the tube rose. "That person just faded away shortly after I was created."
He removed the wristbands, anklets and mask and hopped off the tube. He then looked around the lab.
"Where the heck am I?"
In this universe, Dr. Cagliostro and his assistant Torgo became part of the unfortunate half. The little creature he created, however, became part of the survivors suddenly.
Desperate, the creature read the Doc's last entry in his journal, before he disappeared.
"…and after I create life from Mr. Berkowitz's mutated hair sample," the creature read, "I am going to create life from Mr. Smith's hair sample next. Wish me luck."
The creature was then confused.
"Test tubes? Hair samples? Mr. Berkowitz and Mr. Smith?" He then looked at the test tube with a black hair sample in it before he realized. "Our dads."
He then placed the test tube into the Metamorphicreatron's base and got up to the computer.
"Well, if it worked for me," he said, about to press a key on the keyboard, "I guess it should work for the other."
He pressed the key and hopped to the lever, which he struggled to pull. Once again, gears started grinding, fluids filled flasks, the stoplight shone green, and the bulbs on the Metamorphicreatron flashed. Through the process, the hair sample was whisked from the base into the large tube next to the Metamorphicreatron, which filled up with a pink fluid. The tube flashed. In place of the hair sample, wearing wired wristbands and anklets and muzzle covered in a mask was a goofy-looking creature with a pig snout, crooked buck teeth, front feet resembling duck feet, a rat tail, human legs, a head knob and toad warts. The creature outside looked a bit disgusted, but relieved that he, like Dr. Cagliostro before him, created life. He then pressed another key on the keyboard. The fluid drained from the tube, which then rose.
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," the little creature said to the bigger one.
The bigger creature stirred, opening its cyan eyes, and yawned, stretching its front feet. It also had a blue tongue like a giraffe.
"Hello, lil' feller," the creature said in a male voice that almost sounded like Goofy.
"Hello to you, big guy," the little creature replied. "Welcome to the world."
"What's yer name?" the bigger creature asked.
The little creature was confused.
"Name?" he repeated. "Gee, I guess when the Doc created me, he didn't have enough time to give me a name before he disappeared."
"Disappeared?" the bigger creature repeated. "What happened to him?"
"He just crumbled to dust shortly after I was created," the little creature shrugged. "I guess this Cagg-leo-stro guy didn't count on that."
"I think it's pronounced 'Cagliostro'," the bigger creature corrected, hopping off and removing the wristbands and anklets.
"What?"
"The G is silent," the bigger creature replied, walking to the little one on his hind human legs.
"How do you know that?" the little creature shrugged. "You were only created seconds ago."
The bigger creature blushed, chuckling nervously.
"Probably a coincidence?" he replied.
"Well, anyway," the little creature began, "I guess I should name us based on what we look like." Looking at himself in a mirror, he placed his hand on his chin. "Hmmm. Well, I have what appears to be a red armadillo-like back with yellow spikes on it, pink fur like a flamingo's feathers, and I was created from what the Doc described as a meerkat's hair. 'Armadillo Flamingo Meerkat'?" He then shook his head. "Nah, too many syllables. How about 'Armadillamingkat'? Yeah, that sounds like a good name for me."
"But are you sure your back looks like that of an armadillo, Arma… Arma… Ya' know? Yer name is purdy hard to pronounce." With that, the bigger creature shrugged.
"You can call me 'Armie' for short," Armadillamingkat replied, shrugging. "It'd make it a bit easier for you."
"Okay, Armie," the bigger creature agreed, nodding. "Now about my name? I seem to have been created from a warthog's hair."
"You were," Armie replied. "But you have a rat's tail, and front feet resembling duck feet. So, I should name you 'Warratduck'."
"Can you call me 'Rat' fer short?" Warratduck suggested. "Because my rat tail is purdy much a dead giveaway."
"Okay, 'Rat' it is," Armie agreed. "So together, we're Armie and Rat."
"Don't we have last names, too?" Rat asked.
"I think we do," Armie replied, thinking about the journal entry. "I'm Armie Berkowitz, and you're Rat Smith. So, what do you say we celebrate with…?"
"Wait, Armie," Rat halted. "D'ya hear that?"
"Hear what?" Armie shrugged.
Rat placed Armie above his head and ran fast from the basement lab to a smart speaker in the main lab.
"This is a breaking news alert for May 31, 2018, at 3:34 PM, Eastern Time," the reporter's voice on the speaker said. "Because of the Snap event that the Avengers failed to stop in time, half of the world's population has disappeared. Friends, family members and loved ones are now gone from the face of the world."
"Oh, dear," Rat feared. "This Cagliostro guy ain't the only person who vanished."
"Uh-oh," Armie realized. "I think we're among the half that was spared." He then looked at Rat confused. "Wait, how'd ya' run so fast to get from the basement lab to this speaker in the main lab?"
"I… just ran?" Rat shrugged, blushing.
Author's Note:Some material from this chapter is from the last chapter of "What If… Dr. Cagliostro Found a Second Purpose?" one of my other fanfics inspired by What If…?.