And so the mastermind of all the super villains stood above the beaten and battered Eds and their friends as his true identity is revealed to be none other then... Oh wait! Sorry wrong chapter, my bad.
The Eds were at a Mexican stand off with the three puffs.
Eddy: So they were made in a lab with some kind of sex jelly called Chemical X, while the Rowdyruff Boys were made in a toilet in a prison.
Edd: Yes, hey they're toilet babies!
Eddy: Now i have only two questions. One, why are they all born five years old? And two, what the hell is Chemical X made of?
Edd: I do not know. Hey if they started as five year olds when we were twelve, then why are they eighteen and we are but twenty one?
Blossom: Well there was something about Z-Rays getting envolved... None of that matters right now!
Buttercup: Yeah! Are we going to fight or what?
Eddy: I don't even know at this point. But for some reason fighting isn't the physical action I want to get involved in with these girls when looking at them.
Edd: Yeah, some of my other muscles are in work right now.
The duo begin to inspect the curves of the girls. Buttercup becomes greatly angered.
Buttercup: I will destroy you two!
Eddy: Ah, keep yelling. It's hot.
Buttercup: ARGH!
Buttercup tackles Eddy at light speed and with great anger. Eddy manages to break free of her death hold and the two enter into a flurry of punches.
Buttercup: I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Eddy: I'LL RAM MY THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE SOCKET YOU LITTLE B****!
Edd and the other two Puffs are left standing in their spots.
Edd:... I don't have to fight the both of you, right?
Blossom and Bubbles look at each other for a moment. Next thing Edd knows they both fly at him.
Edd: Oh S***!
Edd was being attacked from both, the left and the right. He was surprisingly able to keep up with both of them. Weather it was because they weren't as tenacious at fighting as Buttercup was or his superior intellect, that being used loosely now days, it was working for him either way.
Edd: Oh! I'm beating you both! I can take you both inside and outside of the bedroom at the same time! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Blossom: Shut it you! We're fighting!
Edd: Really? That's what you're doing? I was just standing here minding my own business while waiting for the fight to begin.
Blossom and Bubbles began to get angry with Edds taunting. They take a glance at each other and then nod their heads in the yes motion. They then fly back a couple of feet, Blossom on the left and Bubbles on the right, and fire their laser vision at Edd from both sides. He was cooked by the two sisters until he was charred.
Edd: ... Ow... Ochy... Ow... That burns.
Blossom then walks over with a smirk of satisfaction. She then punches the almost paralyzed Edd square in the jaw.
Blossom: That felt good.
Bubbles: Let's go see how Buttercup is doing.
Meanwhile with Eddy and Buttercup. The two take a breake from their fight and stand on top of another skyscraper.
Eddy: Hey! Quick question.
Buttercup: Again?
Eddy: Yeah. I get puberty giving you those awesome gifts but how did you grow hands and feet?
Buttercup: How did you stop your outline from constantly shaking?
Eddy: I... I don't really know. Huh.
Buttercup: Enough talk! More blood!
Buttercup claps her hands together sending a sonic wave Eddy's way. He manage to stand his ground but lost track of Buttercup. He looks around for her only to be kicked from behind and sent flying like a football.
He is sent across the city until Buttercup flys ahead of him and punches him back to Earth. She hovers above the dust sent up from the crash waiting to see an unconscience Eddy in the center of the creator. The dust settles to show there was no Eddy.
Buttercup: What!? Where'd he go?
Buttercup is suddenly hit by a lamppost out of nowhere. She crashes into a building and opens her eyes to see Eddy holding a lamppost in his hand.
Eddy: Not the type of toy I wanted to use on you, Green Bean. But affective nonetheless.
Buttercup became even more angry with Eddy. She had enough of all of his puns and jokes. She charges Eddy only to be hit by the lamppost again. This time it was her smacked into the ground and sent into a daze.
Eddy: Really? You did that even though I had a very obvious weapon in hand. Why? Guess that's why there's barely any girl heroes.
Buttercup was too dazed to yell back.
Eddy: Are you still alive?
Eddy sees she's in a daze and then takes the opportunity to peek up her skirt.
Blossom: Leave her alone!
Eddy turns to see the other two puffs with his friend who was K.O.'d for the time being.
Eddy: You lost to a bunch of girls!? Worthless.
Blossom: Step away from the green one.
Eddy: I don't have to listen to you. You're a ginger you don't even have a soul!
Blossom: Ouch.
Bubbles: Hehe. I never thought of that.
Eddy: Being a ditzy blonde isn't much better. Well at least after the one night stand that is.
Bubbles: Hey!
Edd then appears behind Eddy.
Edd: Do Buttercup next.
Eddy: Ah! Where'd you come from?
Blossom: What the hell? How did he...?
Bubbles: I thought you were watching him.
Edd: You mean you didn't start this rant to cause a distraction to buy me some time and sneak away?
Eddy:... Uh... I mean, of course! I'm just that awesome.
Everyone looks at him with doubt in their eyes.
Eddy: What are you giving me that look for? It worked even if I didn't mean for it to, didn't it?
Edd: Yeah that's what your mom said last night.
Eddy: That doesn't even make sense!
Edd: It doesn't matter, you're a d***.
Eddy: I'm going to come for you when we finish off these girls.
Edd: Come at me bro!
Eddy: I'll come at you! I'll come all over you!
Edd: Now that sounds more like something your mom would say.
Eddy: I'm going to punch you in the face.
Blossom: Are you two done with your little lovers corral yet?
The duo look at the other puffs.
Eddy: Your still here?
Edd: I would've thought they would've left by now.
Eddy: Yeah.
Buttercup then comes up from behind the both of them and gives them both wedgies of indescribable pain. She then picks them both up and throws them through the air. She regroups with her sisters.
Blossom: Good job Buttercup.
Buttercup: Someone had to shut them up finally. I've had enough of their yammering.
Blossom: Agreed. It's time to finish this girls. Altogether now!
The duo rebound in mid flight.
Eddy: Ah! My a**!
Edd: Im not going to lie Eddy. This is bringing back some memories. I don't like them.
Eddy: I've had enough of these triplets. Lets end this.
Edd: Oh! I wanna do something first!
Eddy: Fine, live your stupid fantasy.
The girls stop a few feet away from the Eds when they saw Edd strike an odd pose and began to say one word.
Blossom: He can't be serious.
Buttercup: Does he really think that'll work?
Bubbles: I've tried it once after watching one episode of that show. Didn't work.
Edd: Kahme... Ahme...
Edd begins to glow.
Buttercup: Oh s**** he's actually doing it.
Edd: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
A red energy beam is shot towards the girls. The girls were stunned but quickly snap out of it and fire all three laser beams of theirs at once at the beam barely stopping the beam and eventually gradually pushing it back.
Eddy: Wow. Hey Double D got a whole new respect for you man.
Edd: Need... Help...
Eddy: Alright, Eddy is a coming to save the day with his rays of riches. You remember that kids?
Eddy fires his mental cash signs into Edds beam increasing its energy at helping it hold its place.
Blossom: Just... A... Little... More...
Edd then suddenly stops.
Edd: And now I'm bored.
Eddy: What!?
Edd: I wanna do something else.
Eddy: Why you little sonuva...
The girls laser vision eventually triumphs and blasts the Eds into space. The girls land back on the ground completely out of energy.
Blossom: They were surprisingly tough.
Buttercup: We need to get better. It shouldn't of been that tough to beat them.
Bubbles: That blast looked like it hurt.
Buttercup: It better of. If I could only of heard their screams of...
Blossom: What?
Buttercup: Why didn't they scream out of pain?
The girls then notice Edd on their left and Eddy on their right still with enough energy for one more attack.
Buttercup: Your mother...!
The sisters are then caught in the middle of Edd's and Eddy's laser vision. The girls fell to the ground in defeat as the Eds dog piled on the three of them. The duo then sat back to back on the defeated sisters boasting in their victory. Come on, who did you think would win? This is an EENE Fanfic after all.
Eddy: Ah victory is sweet.
Eddy rests his hand on Buttercups butt.
Eddy: Very sweet indeed.
Edd: How do you think Big Ed is doing.
Ed then arrives holding a pouting Panty in his right hand and bitter Stocking in his left hand.
Ed: I finished before you guys even started your fights. What should I do with these two Eddy?
Eddy: Them? They'er trash. Toss them in the gutter.
Ed: Yes sir.
Ed throws the two sisters to the side line, disregarding them as a threat even. He then held out Panty's panties and Stocking's stockings.
Ed: And what should I do with their... Weapons?
Eddy: Ha! No wonder they lost. I'll take them. Hello trophy room.
Edd: Good job Big Ed.
Edd congratulated his friend but had no response.
Edd: Ed? Eddy I think something's wrong with Ed.
Eddy: I thought something was wrong with Ed the first day I met him.
Ed then pointed in one direction.
Ed: Look.
Everyone looked to see... To be continued.