Eddy: It's time for our new adventure for the day guys. Off to the wild for us.
Edd: Can't wait to drink my own p*** for survival.
Eddy: Well it probably never come down to that because we have a cooler full of bottled water.
Ed: Bear Grills doesn't need a cooler and neither do we.
The Eds head out of the mansion but before Eddy closes the door he says these words to the girls.
Eddy: Oh and if you skanks leave with all of our stuff before we return just be sure to stay gone.
He closes the doors leaving the girls speechless, well that is all except for Panty who had one thing to say.
Panty: Anyone else want to order some "Guy Friends" for company?
The others look at her for a moment and then go back to their tasks at hand.
Panty: Oh... None of you are fun.
At the campsite the Eds set up their tent and gathered wood for a fire.
Eddy: Ah... Nothing screams American like a camp with people you could moderately tolerate to be around.
Edd: Theres at least seven things more American then that.
Eddy: You lie!
Edd opens a bag of chips.
Ed: Hey man you shouldn't have bag food while camping. Bears could smell that stuff like miles away.
Edd: Why would a bear be attracted to a bag of chips and not its natural food source.
Eddy: It probably expects the people who are attracted to the chips to be around for him to snack on.
The bushes in the distant begin to rumble.
Edd: Ah! Here Eddy. Catch.
Edd tosses Eddy the chips.
Eddy: I don't want them.
Eddy tosses them back. The three begin to cower as the beast jumps out from the bushes. The beast is revealed to be a squirrel.
Ed: Well that's a rip off.
Edd: Aww... Look at the guy. He just wants some chips.
Eddy: Don't feed the wild thing. You don't know if he has some kind of disease or something.
Edd: Oh yeah I'm real scarred of him and his buck teeth.
The squirrel growls for a second and then lunges clamping its teeth down onto Edds groin.
Edd: Ahahahah!
Eddy: What did I tell you? Suck it!
Ed & Eddy: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Edd: Just get it off.
Eddy yanks the squirrel off and tosses it to the side.
Eddy: Kill it now!
Edd: Take the chips!
Edd throws the chips only for the squirrel to ignore them and bite his groin again.
Edd: Ah!
Eddy: It's like a bad Austin Powers skit.
Ed points and laughs.
Edd: Ah! Goku help me!
Eddy finally rips the squirrel off and throws it into the bushes this time.
Eddy: Well now you can't drink your own p***.
Edd: Can't do it. It's riddled with diseases now.
Eddy: Yeah good luck in having children now.
Later when Edds crotch is all bandaged up.
Edd: Well that's slightly better. Where's Eddy?
Eddy is seen at the foot of a tree poking something at the top of it with a really long stick.
Eddy: Hey what is this?
Edd: Eddy! Nooooooo!
Eddy: What's is it?
A bee hive falls out of the tree and and the bees attack.
Eddy: Bees! Ahahahah!
All three run into the lake nearby. The bees still attack.
Eddy: This whole thing has gone to s***.
Edd: Really?
Just then an squid pulls Ed into the water.
Edd & Eddy: Ahahahahahah!
Eddy: Why aren't the bees attacking him?
Edd: The beasts of water and air have formed an alliance to destroy man on sight.
Eddy: Well we can't stay in here with f***ing squids in the water.
Edd and Eddy run back onto land only to meet a cougar.
Edd: No! I won't fall for your elderly woman charms and more experience.
Eddy: Start a fire for the love of all things holy in this sick world of (insert writers name here)!
The cougar leaves Edd only to attack Eddy while the bees continue to attack Edd. Before Edd could get up the squirrel returns with a grin of evil attentions.
Edd: No. I like my d***.
Eddy: Yeah some one has to.
The cougar pounces Eddy while his back is turned. The squirrel clamps back onto his crotch.
Edd: Ahahahah!
Edd gets back up with bees stinging him and a squirrel bitting his groin still trying to start a fire.
Eddy: How are you supposed to light a fire while being stung every where and being bad touched by a squirrel?
Edd: Fire is the only thing that could put an end to our suffering.
Ed manages to claw his way back to land with the squid still wrapped around him.
Ed: Im here to help guys.
Then a whale comes out of the water and drags the squid with Ed clawing the the sand trying to stay out of water but to no success.
Eddy: No! Ed!
Then a wolf comes out from the bushes and helps the cougar in attacking Eddy.
Eddy: No! Me!
Finally, as all hope seemed lost, Edd manages to create a fire and send everything running. Edd, swollen from bee stings and a whole in his pants, regroups with Eddy, now covered from head to toe in claw marks. Both grinning in victory.
Edd & Eddy: Yeah! Man one. Nature zero.
Meanwhile at the mansion.
Bubbles: What do you think the Eds are doing?
Blossom: Probably some stupid boy activity like tormenting the poor, little, innocent forest animals.
Bubbles: That sounds like something they would do.
Buttercup: Creeps.