Disguising himself as a kindergartener, and liking to play with rubber bands, is in reference to the comic "Webby's Field Trip" by Janet Gilbert and Giuseppe Dalla Santa.

I dedicate this one to Teacakies, as it was our Beagle Babes rp that became much of the inspiration for this!

For the record, Babyface resents this chapter's title.

Three Babes and a Baby

"Aw, come on you guys! It was an accident!"

Babyface scampered after his brothers as they stomped angrily around the hideout.

"No way, Babyface. You blew it." Bankjob slammed a door. "Literally!"

"How was I s'posed ta know it was all gonna explode?" Babyface asked innocently.

"You shouldn't have been playin' with firecrackers in the car to begin with!"

"But…"

"Can it, I don't want to hear it," Bankjob groaned and leaned over the counter with a scowl on his face. "You shouldn't be comin' with us on these anyways."

Babyface stopped in his tracks. "What? Why not?!"

"'Cause you always screw up!" Bankjob exploded. "You're too small to carry out bags of cash, you're so clumsy you're always trippin' over your own feet!" He paused for a moment, breathing hard and glaring at his little brother. "And come on. Who's gonna take us seriously if we got a kid tailin' us everywhere?"

Babyface swallowed. Sure, he wasn't real strong. And okay, he was something of a klutz… but he tried harder than anyone. And for the most part, a lot of his efforts had been just to impress Bankjob- the brother he admired and looked up to the most.

"I-I'm not a kid," protested Babyface. He could sense all his other brothers watching him, and his cheeks heated with humiliation.

"Sorry, Babyface," said Bankjob. "But 'til you grow up a little, you're outta the group."

"Ohhhhhhh!" Baggy stifled a giggle.

Babyface felt hot tears welling up in his eyes, and before anyone could see his moment of weakness, he fled upstairs.

"I'm not a kid," he insisted to himself. He kicked at the bedposts and sniffed.

Looking around, he saw one of Bouncer and Bankjob's weights on the floor.

He forced a weak smile. "This'll show them!" The little Beagle walked over. He'd never tried it before, but it looked easy enough. He could have huge muscles like Bankjob in no time!

With a grunt, he bent down and tried to lift the barbell.

"Oh, yeow!"

He squirmed in pain. Ok, so it was harder than it looked.

Babyface toddled to the bathroom and pulled up a stepstool so he could look at himself in the mirror. He could hardly stand to look at himself. He hated being so…so darn cute. Beagles were supposed to be tough! To be scary!

He looked at the disgustingly littered bathroom counter. His brothers all shaved…except for him. He didn't have a hair on his face. What kind of Beagle didn't have a five 'o clock shadow?!

"Heard you messed up royally today," BigTime's voice rang out from nearby. Babyface jumped and dropped down from the stepstool. "Nice work, shortstuff."

Babyface fumed. "I'm still taller than you."

"Yeah, but at least I look my age," taunted BigTime. "Though I guess if you want to pass for a kindergartener, you got it made!" He cackled. "Aw, Babyface, don't you have such a cute little baby face!"

Babyface covered his ears angrily and pushed past him, tears welling up again. Fine. If that's how it was gonna be…maybe he shouldn't be a Beagle anymore.

Sometime later, Babyface had his knapsack all set. He had everything he needed- some old cookies and his trusty rubber band slingshot. And as usual, he always carried a stick of dynamite or a firecracker under his hat…for emergencies.

His brothers were downstairs, talking- no doubt about him, and how much of a screw-up he was- so now was the perfect time to split.

The front door wasn't an option. And unfortunately, all the windows in the house were boarded up… except for in the basement and one on the third floor. And he sure wasn't going down to the basement- it was scary down there!

Clumsily, the tubby little Beagle Boy straddled the windowsill and took a deep breath. It was a looooong way down…but he had a propeller hat. It was basic physics, it'd work!

He jumped.

He fell like a ton of bricks.

CRASH!

Babyface groaned and crawled out of the toppled garbage cans. He grabbed the beanie off his head and gave it a glare. "Really?! Now even you're turnin' on me?"

"What was that?!" Bankjob's voice called out from inside the house. Babyface darted around the corner and hid, his heart beating wildly.

"D'eh, was prolly just Ratty," Baggy chuckled.

"Baggy, if you can't control that stupid cat-!" BigTime yelled.

Babyface didn't stick around to hear the rest. Gathering himself together, he took off down the street to…anywhere.

After a little while of walking Babyface finally reached the shopping district of downtown Duckburg. It must have been getting late, because his stomach was rumbling and the streets were practically empty.

Babyface took off his knapsack for a little snack and gasped. He must have left it open this entire time, because everything had fallen out.

"Rats!" Babyface groaned. His stomach rumbled again. Looks like he'd be going without dinner tonight.

Suddenly the flash from a car's headlights turning onto the street blinded him, and he stumbled back, covering his face.

The sound of an idling motor tempted him to look up through his fingers. Three women were sitting in the car, looking at him with mixed expressions.

"Heya, kid," said one, with curly, brown hair. She popped a piece of bubblegum loudly. "Ain't it past your bedtime?"

Babyface scrunched up his fists indignantly. Not this again! "I'm not a kid!"

"Aw, 'course you're not," said the one driving with a condescending tone. She had long nails and huge, red hair. "Hey, tell us what's wrong."

"Um…I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," he said uneasily. He instantly berated himself. Stupid! Way to sound like a five year old!

"You're Babyface, right? I recognize your nifty little hat." The blonde girl giggled. "Wow, you'd had that, like, forever. Don'tcha remember your cousins?"

Babyface could vaguely remember having met some female cousins, Bouffant, Babydoll, and Boom-Boom, way back when he was younger, but it'd been so long ago- or so traumatic- that it'd been erased from his mind.

He sighed. Might as well play along.

"I ran away. Bankjob and the others don't like me anymore! They say I mess everythin' up."

The girls exchanged sympathetic glances. "Awww."

"Yeah, Bank was always a hard one," Bouffant grumbled.

"Oh, oh! You should come with us!" Boom-Boom squealed, clapping her hands.

Babydoll groaned. "Ugh, no, not again! Boom, he's just gonna slow us down."

"Well I say we take him," Bouffant smiled. "We could always use another pair of hands. And speakin' of which, the Beauty Salon on the other side of town is closing any minute and I wanna be there to nick some goods as soon as the lights go out!"

Boom-Boom patted a spot next to her and Babyface hesitantly clambered into the small pink coupe, scooting in nervously with his heart pounding. Cousins or not, he didn't really know these ladies from Scrooge.

"Oooh, you're gonna love spending time with us!" Boom-Boom said suddenly, patting his hand. Babyface jumped, but listening to her, she had a really calming voice…he felt himself blushing a little. Aside from Ma, he didn't really know that many girls…generally, he figured they were dumb. But these ones didn't seem so bad.

When they reached the other side of town, Bouffant parked the car in front of the store.

"Alright, I'm gonna grab the stuff!" She took out a hairpin and started picking the lock. "Ruby Red lipgloss for myself, Pastel Peony for you, Boom. What do you want, Babydoll? I'm thinkin' you'd look good in a nice coral."

Babydoll slammed the car door and stomped out. "Oh no! You ain't pickin' the wrong shade for me again! We're all goin' in!"

Boom-Boom popped out of the car and squeezed Babyface's hand. "Well, come on!"

He looked up at her apprehensively. "Um…I wouldn't want to, uh, impose on yer girl time."

Boom-Boom giggled. "Oh, don't be silly! You're one of us now, aren't ya? Any hey! You can pick out anything you want!"

The door sprung open and the Beagle Babes rushed into the store, oohing and aahing over the fancy displays.

Babydoll scanned the hair stylers and snatched one up with a hungry grin. "Oh, look at this cute curling iron! I need a new one desperately!"

"And aren't these purse accessories just precious?" Boom-Boom held up a bunch of shiny heart shaped charms and soft pink pompom keychains.

"Aw, what the heck! You can never have enough lipgloss!" Bouffant, who'd been mulling over the lipgloss table, laughed and dumped the entire contents into her bag.

Boom-Boom turned to Babyface. "Well, what about you, sugar? Havin' fun? Anythin' catch your attention?"

Babyface hesitated. "Well, uh…" Honestly, this wasn't really the kind of store he would've chosen to break into. But…

Well, hey! They weren't bullyin' him, or callin' him a butterfingers…and they were even offerin' to let him take something for himself! Bankjob would never let him do that.

His eyes caught a plastic box filled with yummy looking brown squares. "Ooh, wait! I want this!"

"I didn't peg ya for someone who wore eyeshadow," Babydoll snickered.

Babyface choked and spat it out with disgust. Worst chocolate ever.

"Alright, let's move!" yelled Bouffant. Babyface followed his cousins back into the car and soon they were speeding down the road for the Beagle Babe's home uptown.

"Hey, have any of youse seen Babyface?" Bankjob walked into the living room, a deep frown on his face.

"Not since you blew your top on him this morning," said BigTime as he clicked through the channels on television. Next to him, Baggy chomped nonchalantly on some potato chips.

"Yeah, well…I haven't seen him since," Bankjob said, getting a little anxious. "I haveta apologize. Come on, we need to find him."

"Oh, he's fine," BigTime waved him off. "Probably just moping in his room like does whenever the Duckburg Mallards lose a game." Which was a lot.

"He's not in his room!" Bankjob insisted. "Listen, something seriously bad must've happened!"

Big Time turned around, finally taking interest. As much as he teased the brat, he had a bit of a soft spot for him. Out of all his brothers, he gave him the least amount of trouble.

"D'eh, but we don't know wheres to start!" Baggy said.

Bankjob scratched his head, thinking for a moment. "We could look all over the city and not find him. I say we need to span out, widen our range! Some of our cousins live uptown, maybe they've seen somethin'."

Big Time stomped over with his arms waving. "No! No way! We ain't getting' those witches involved!"

Bankjob in charge of this operation was a bad idea. But the lugnut already had the phone in his hand and was dialing.

The phone rang a couple of times, and then a feminine voice picked up.

"Hello?"

Bankjob cringed. "Eh, hi there, Bouffant. Uhm, it's Bankjob. Say, have you-"

"Oh hey there, big guy! What're you callin' for?" Bouffant's ear-splitting voice cut him off.

"Well, you see-"

"'Cuz you never call us! Must be important!"

"Er, it is, we-"

"And that's just rude! You think you can just call and ask for a favor when it's convenient to you?!" Bouffant's voice reached a freakish pitch.

"Wait. What?" Bankjob uttered stupidly.

"Exactly. Toodle-oo, bucko!"

Then suddenly another voice jumped in, one the Beagle brothers recognized well: "Jerk!"

The call ended with a loud click.

Bankjob stood there in silence for a moment, stunned.

"What happened?!" BigTime tapped his foot impatiently.

"Uh…I'm not really sure." Bankjob admitted.

"Fssh, 'dose girls are nuts. I means, no way we can be related, right?" Baggy gave a dopey grin.

Bankjob looked at BigTime worriedly. "But I'm pretty sure…I heard his voice right there at the end! It had to be!" His expression turned into one of alarm. "They must've kidnapped him and he's cryin' for help!"

BigTime and Baggy gasped.

"D'uh, we have to save him!" Baggy cried.

Bankjob put a hand to his chin, looking uncomfortable. He really didn't want to deal with another dose of crazy today. But then again…if Ma found out they'd let their baby brother get 'napped…

Dang. Women were scary.

"Alright, BigTime, we're gonna go save him!" Bankjob grabbed the keys to the car and started down the stairs.

BigTime made a face. "Why should you be in charge of this rescue?"

Bankjob glared right back at him. "Well, first of all, I could beat you up!"

BigTime stepped back. It was a good point…for an oversized brute.

"Whuh 'bout me?" Baggy asked.

"You stay here just in case!" Bankjob said.

Huh. Well, if Bankjob wanted it, it must be an important case.

Then the two jumped into the car, (seats still in tatters from this morning's dynamite fiasco), and started it up.

"And then, Baggy fell facefirst into the vat of cheese!" Babyface finished, giggling. The Beagle Babes exploded into laughter.

"Oh, oh, tell us more, I love stories about their screwups!" Babydoll pounded the bedspread as she shook with glee.

"Hey, do you like games, hon? Bouffant asked, looking at the collection of boardgames under the bed. "We have…Duckland, Duckopoly, Duck and Ladders…oh, but most of the pieces are missin'."

"Uh…I don't really know how to play any of those," Babyface admitted, feeling a little stupid. Playtime with his brothers had consisted mostly of roughhousin' over the last piece of dessert, or dirty games of baseball.

He fished inside his pocket and took out a few thick rubber bands. "Um, well, my favorite thing to do when I'm bored and alone is shoot these. And I'm left alone...a lot."

Bouffant patted his back. "Aw, well, why don't you teach us!"

Babyface smiled and held it one across his fingers. "Ok! Well, ya stretch it back and then leggo with the other hand…and- POW! Let 'er rip!" The rubber band sailed across the room and hit the wall with a thud.

"Ah, that's great!" Babydoll crowed. "It's like pain in your pocket! Me next, me next!"

"Aw, wait, first lemme give you these before I forget!" Boom-Boom squealed, hopping up from the bed and grabbing a handful of stuffed animals from the closet. She set them on the bed next to Babyface and beamed. "Never thought we'd have the chance to bring these out again…!"

Babyface blushed a little. He was way too old for stuffed animals! But he couldn't say no to their expectant looks. He smiled. "Thanks!"

"Awwww!" Boom-Boom squished him tight in a hug. "Aren't ya just the sweetest thing?!"

Babyface could feel his face burning. "Aw, shucks…you're embarassin' me." Thank goodness his brothers weren't there to see him now!

Down below on the street, Bankjob and BigTime parked their car in the alley and made their way up to the rickety old building.

"So what's your plan, genius?" BigTime asked.

"Simple, we jump in and surprise 'em," Bankjob said, taking the steps two at a time. "And then we grab Babyface and run! Piece 'o cake."

BigTime rolled his eyes. "More like a piece of crap!"

"Hey, BigTime, they're our cousins, not bloodsucking banshees or whatever."

"Pretty sure those words are synonymous."

Bankjob took a deep breath, sizing up the door. Then taking a few steps back, he hurled himself at it with all his strength. "OW!"

The door stuck and Bankjob cringed in pain.

"Wow, nice, brilliant! Idiot!" BigTime spat. "I told you we should've just broke in through the back."

There was a sudden slamming sound from downstairs, and everyone froze.

"The cops?" gasped Babydoll.

"Could be…but that noise sounded way too stupid," said Bouffant. All the same, she picked up her favorite pink handgun and crept down to the door, peering through the peephole.

"Aw, no."

She opened the door just a smidge, but that was enough for Bankjob.

"Babyface?" Bankjob smashed past her and looked around the foyer wildly.

"Hey!" Bouffant screamed. "You can't just barge in here-!"

But Bankjob wasn't listening; he was already halfway up the stairs, BigTime close behind him.

"Babyface?!"

The little Beagle turned pale at the sound of his brother's voice and he slowly looked up.

"Oh, thank goodness! You are here!" Bankjob smiled and heaved a huge sigh of relief. "We've come to rescue you!"

Bankjob turned on Bouffant. "And you! Just who do ya think ya are, kidnappin' him like that?!"

"Kidnapping?!" cried Bouffant. "Honey, he wanted to be with us!"

"Oh come off it!" snapped BigTime. "Why would anyone wanna hang around with the likes of you?"

Babyface glared at both of them. "Why? 'Cause all you ever do is push me around! At least they let me help out! At least they treat me nice!"

"Hey, look, kid…" Bankjob tried to console him.

"I'm not a kid!" Babyface exploded, the propeller on his hat spinning furiously. "And I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Bankjob was at a loss. He looked at BigTime, but for once, the loudmouth too had nothing to say. And they both felt completely rotten.

"I, er…didn't know you girls were so into the domestic scene," Bankjob said awkwardly, after a pause.

BigTime gave a weak smirk, trying to pretend he wasn't hurt by the hateful look his brother was giving him. "Yeah, you girls used to be tough. Look what happened to ya."

Babydoll glared at him. "Oh, so we ain't tough anymores, huh?"

Bouffant grinned. "Oh really? Comin' from the guys who cry when we say we'll tell your mother on them?" She laughed. "Maybe we oughta show our boys here how wrong they really are!"

Boom-Boom giggled.

BigTime instantly regretted the words out of his mouth.

The three girls surrounded them with a gun in each of their hands, herding the two brothers towards a large padded red chair against the wall.

"Look, girls, we can talk this out," BigTime whimpered, raising his hands in the air. He nudged Bankjob. "So talk! Talk to 'em!"

"I…I…" Bankjob didn't know where to start.

Then Babydoll and Bouffant shoved both boys hard into the chair with a grunt. Truly, they were stronger than they looked. Boom-Boom sashayed up with a sweet smile and held up a roll of purple duct tape to their faces.

BigTime whimpered and rubbed his head. "What was that for?!"

Bankjob groaned. That'd unexpectedly knocked the wind outta him, and he sure wasn't liking the way this girl was looming over him with this tape…!

"Enough chatter," Bouffant said, standing back with her hand on her hips. "Bind 'em, Boom."

Babyface didn't know what to do. He was still mad, yeah, but he didn't like how this was looking. Whether he liked it or not, they were his brothers. Jumping down from the bed, Babyface grabbed his last firecracker from under his hat.

"Hey! Stoppit!" Everyone stopped and looked at him, eyes widening. "Or I'll…!"

The Beagle Babes stepped away from the chair.

Bankjob looked at Babyface with guilt and gratitude in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Babyface. I was being an idiot."

"Yeah, that's true, he was an idiot," said BigTime.

"I never should have said you were kicked out of the group," Bankjob continued. "We could never replace you!"

Babyface smiled. "That a promise?"

Bankjob grinned. "I promise."

Babyface quivered with joy and sprang up into his big brother's arms. Was that actin' immature…? He didn't care. He was just so happy to be back with his brothers again.

"Aww," the girls said in unison. Boom-Boom came and kissed him on the nose, a tear running down her cheek.

"You'll come visit your cousins, won't you?" Bouffant sniffled.

Babyface grinned. "Nope!"

Bankjob laughed. "Ahahaha! That's our brat!"

The three Beagle Boys reached the car and were ready for their drive home.

"Hey, BJ, can I drive?" Babyface asked, popping into the driver's seat.

"Haha. Yeah, sure, why not…" Bankjob started. Then his face fell. "Wait, wait! NO! The brakes, the brakes! SHHHHHH-"

What was left of the junker sped down the slope and smashed into the alley wall with a deafening crash.

"Ohhh," BigTime cringed.

"Dangit, Babyface," Bankjob moaned.

Then from the wreckage a voice called out.

"Aw, come on you guys! It was an accident!"