"Thank you for letting me come over, Mr. Cooper," Marisa said glancing over to the kitchen where Craig was getting them both a cup of coffee.
"Call me Craig," he said laughing. "You've been KC and Ernie's best friend so long you're practically part of the family."
As true as that was, she couldn't help feeling nervous about the purpose of her visit. She didn't want to tell him about her love life, but there was no one else to talk it over with. The fact that it involved Organization business meant that she couldn't bring it up with her parents. She had considered the Organization psychiatrist, but that had felt too impersonal. After making that choice, she was left with the Coopers and Craig. Despite his terrible record with secrets, she knew that she could trust him to be kind and give her wise advice. Still, she sighed as she took a cup of coffee off the tray.
"So, I take it you were hoping to talk," he said sitting down in the chair across from her. "You wouldn't have wanted me to get Kira and Judy out of the house otherwise."
The warmth of his chuckle gave her the confidence to move forward. "You've been a spy forever. I'm sure your work-life balance has gotten off before?"
"Oh, yeah," he replied lightheartedly. "It's the story of a spy's life. We don't really get the natural breaks everyone else does, so we have to find those little moments on the job. You know one time I got to try pasta made by the best chef in Italy? It was exquisite."
She felt a little frustrated by his lack of seriousness. "I bet," she deadpanned.
Both of them were silent for a moment. He was serious again when he spoke. "Seriously though has your work-life balance been off lately?"
She took a deep breath. "I've always prided myself in how well I can manage my personal and professional lives, but lately it's just been a mess. Work is going okay, I guess, but I feel like I'm losing touch with who I really am. When I'm with Bryce and our friends, I'm lighthearted and bubbly. On the job, I'm serious, passionate, and a little gloomy. I'm not really sure which one is me, and it's all feeling really contradictory. "
Criag's tone was gentle. "Are you starting to feel discontent with spying? It's pretty natural that it happens after awhile."
"No….not really," she replied quickly. "I get a little tired of how hands-on it is sometimes, but in general I really love it. I've always dreamed of making a difference. I get to do that every day as a spy, and sharing it with one of my best friends is really special too."
Craig flashed a knowing smile. "So I'm guessing you're trying to decide what to do about Bryce?"
"Yes, I felt really good about it all until recently. I'm just tired of being two people, and I've got to let one go. I asked Ernie about it recently, and he reassured me that I would make the right decision. In that moment, I knew I should break up with Bryce. Since then, I've been fighting the idea. Bryce is everything I've ever wanted. He's sweet and kind and gives me a life outside of spying. We've been together for three years, and he's more in love with me than ever. I don't think I could ever dump him." She stared at the carpet afraid to make eye contact with Craig.
"I'm afraid that's a decision that only you can make," he said seriously. "I've met Bryce, but I don't know him well enough to advise you one way or the other."
She looked up and found his expression calming. "I just don't know what to do. I don't want to dump Bryce, but I've got to do something." She felt the tears come to her eyes. "Ernie was my work secret santa this year, and he got me the most thoughtful gifts. Watching him during the reveal, it dawned on me that he's in love with me."
Craig broke into a smile but said nothing, so she continued. "I'd never noticed that before even though we've been working together for years. There were so many signs, but I must have missed them. I've always felt so supported by the fact that he cares about me, but now I'm realizing that it's because he's interested in me. I know it's not going to feel the same working with him ever again, and it just makes the break up with Bryce thing more complicated. I'm not really sure what to do."
"Well, I've known he was in love with you for years. He never said anything, but I saw it in the way he looked at you and talked about missions with you. He really cares about you, Marisa. I love you both so much that I'd love to see you get hitched, but not if that's not what you want. I want you to be happy, with or without Ernie." His words took a weight off of her shoulders. She had nothing to be afraid of if he was going to be this supportive.
"Well, how am I supposed to know what to do? I've got two men madly in love with me—two men I care deeply about. I can't bear to break either of their hearts, but I've got to choose." She sighed again. "Any advice for me at all?"
"Well," Craig replied. "Getting married is about so much more than falling in love. When you get married, you are saying that you've found the person you want make a home with. You can make a home with anyone, but you'll only be happy if it's right…"
"And I don't know which one is right." Marisa interrupted. "That's the problem."
"Hear me out," Craig said gesturing with his hand for emphasis. "Home isn't a shared house or a person you love. It's who you are deep inside—the product of everywhere you've ever been, everyone you've ever known, everything you've ever done. You've got to look inside and find it. Once you know what it is, you can find someone to share it with."
Marisa laughed. "That sounds easy enough, but I'm afraid it's not in my case. How am I supposed to know who I really am when I've been acting like two different people?"
"Look inside, Marisa." He pointed to his chest. "Home is what you can't get away from no matter how far you run. It's what matters to you that no one else cares about. It's the people you couldn't ever live without….You're going to figure this out. I know you feel shallow and frivolous, but you really care. I've always seen that in you. That's why I was so happy to let you hang out with KC and Ernie. I was hoping some of it would rub off on them, and it has." He laughed. "Give yourself some time. You'll get this."
"Thanks, Craig," Marisa said rising from her chair. She knew exactly what she needed to do. "I've got to get going."
Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. I'm having so much fun writing this story, and I hope you are enjoying reading it too. I'd love it if you left a review so I can know that there are other Marnie shippers out there. :)