Emily stared at Merle, who was sitting in a white plastic seat next to her bed, her heart beat wildly in her chest, How? When? Why? , her head swam with questions. Murphy, at Connor's insistence had let Merle come in to talk to her.
"I don't understand." Emily whispered, her voice still horse from lack of use.
"You were sick, we found this place and brought you here. They got a Doctor here." Merle answered in his gravely voice.
Emily closed her eyes, she didn't think she'd ever hear that voice again, or see those keen blue eyes.
"No," she shook her head. "I know that, Murphy….and Connor explained but they didn't explain you and where's Daryl?"
Merle stood up. He rubbed his hands over his face a couple of times and let out a deep breath, "Daryl and me got separated. I've been lookin' for him, usein' this place as my home base."
"So wait," Emily scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you found this place with Connor."
"I did." Merle walked over to the only window in the room, putting his back to her. " I found you guys, you were sick, I helped Connor find help for you."
"But I thought you were going to the CDC?"
Merle let his head drop and she had the feeling there was something he didn't want to tell her. Finally he turned from the window. "CDC was a bust, then we found a farm, that went ta hell too. Daryl and me decided ta head north." he shrugged. "One a tha herds separated us."
Emily nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat, her feelings for Merle came crashing back and with them the pain he'd caused her too.
"Thanks for helping." she managed to choke out, thankful that her emotions were masked by her already scratchy voice.
"I've always helped ya." Merle answered.
"No," Emily looked down at her hands. "No always."
She couldn't see Merle's reaction but saw him shift out of the corner of her eye.
"No, guess not." his voice sounded hard and tight. "Thought it best that you didn't get attached ta me."
"Ok," she didn't know what else she should answer, she was completely overwhelmed.
He can see she's upset and as usual she'd pushing it down, shoving it deep inside herself, making it easy for everyone around her, making it easy for him. He wants to push her, make her break, make her hit him, yell, tell him what a fucking bastard he is. He wonders when she'll finally break, he wonders if he'll even be around when she does and he wonders if those two Irish out there will be able to handle it, cause they'll be with her, she belongs to Murphy now.
"Guess I should go get yer boyfriend."
She still wouldn't look up at him.
"Y'all gonna stay a while, it's gettin' too cold to travel, 'specially up north. Just wanted ta clear tha air 'tween us." Not that it's anywhere near clear He stared at her for a moment hoping she's at least look at him.
"About Murphy," she surprised him by looking up, straight into his eyes, "Um, well you've always been really honest with me." her eyes darted away then, looking up at the ceiling then the window.Not always He thought angrily.
"Do you think he really likes me, or he's…you know," she gestured towards him vaguely. "Just…" she didn't finish, her words just above a whisper as she moved her eyes away from the window and back down to her clasped hands on her lap.
Merle walked back to his chair and sat down, he leaned back, how the fuck was he suppose to answer that? Why would she ask him of all fucking people? Because she doesn't think you give a rats ass about her. She thinks you wouldn't hesitate in crushing her with the truth if it was bad.
"Yeah," he choked out, "don't seem the playin' type."
He saw her clasp her hands together tighter, before taking a deep breath and looking at him.
"Thanks Merle."
"Geezes you gonna thank me again?" his control broke. "Tell me what ya really feelin'! I'm an asshole who passed you off for a blonde piece of ass. You got lucky with your little Irish pretty boy. Go on tell me I'm stupid and a bastard for what I done." he stood up from the chair.
Emily flinched back, her eyes wide and afraid, "I don't think that, I get it, I know why." she stammered.
"You get it?!" This time his voice rose and Emily pushed herself away from him further, her butt now resting on top of her pillow, her back up against the headboard.
"I know I'm not.."
Murphy burst into the room, "What the 'ell is goin' on here?" he placed himself between Emily and Merle.
"Teach 'er to grow some balls Paddy, or you'll be diggin' 'er a grave." Merle threw the plastic chair aside as he stomped out of the room.
Connor was standing right outside the door.
"What?" Merle barked. "I didn't touch 'er."
"I know." Connor's voice was soft, his bright blue eye's looked at him sadly. "How messed up is she?"
Merle was shocked at the question, his chest heaved, "Figure it out yerselves," he bit out.
Merle rushed passed the calm young man and made his way back to the Governor, he needed to do something and he heard the man was thinking of clearing out some more of the town and expanding. He pulled out his machete, killing some dead fucks was just what he needed right now.