Author's Note: This is the final chapter for this fic. There were be, however, several more sequels. We still have Draco's birth ahead of us.
It had taken a while, but eventually things had calmed down enough for Lucius to finally be able to leave the Ministry and to return to Malfoy Manor.
Once inside the manor, Lucius made his way up to his and Narcissa's bedroom. It was late. Narcissa had probably already eaten dinner, but Lucius wanted to see her before he ate. He had not been able to see much of her lately. The Dark Lord had been keeping him busy.
Lucius liked being busy, as it kept his mind off things. But he didn't like being away from Narcissa for so long. Lucius still believed in blood purity, of course, and he still believed in what they were fighting for. But sometimes he really hated all the sacrifices that he and his wife were forced to make.
Yes, it would be good to see Narcissa.
When Lucius entered the bedroom, he was surprised by the scene that greeted him. Narcissa was shrinking her belongings and placing them into a bag.
"What are you doing?" Lucius asked.
Narcissa spun around in surprise. "Lucius," she gasped. It was clear that she had been crying. It was also clear that it wouldn't take much to make her cry again. "I was hoping to be gone before you came back home."
"Gone? You're leaving? You're moving out? Why?"
"It's not because of you, Lucius," Narcissa said quickly. "I swear it isn't. And I really don't want to leave. But I have to."
"Why? What's going on, Narcissa?"
"I, I suffered another miscarriage today."
"What didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?" Lucius asked after a brief moment of silence.
"Because I didn't want you to get your hopes up for nothing."
"Have there been other pregnancies that I don't know about?"
Narcissa looked down at the floor. She nodded her head, but she was unable to meet Lucius's eyes.
"Narcissa," Lucius breathed, "you should have told me. I am your husband. That means I'm supposed to be there for you. I know that I haven't been here much lately, and I'm really sorry-"
"You have nothing to apologize for," Narcissa interrupted. "You have been there for me, Lucius. And you have been nothing but absolutely wonderful to me."
"Then why were you trying to leave without telling me first? Didn't you think that I would worry about you?"
"I would have sent you an owl, Lucius. And I really don't want to leave. I honestly don't. But I have to."
"Why?"
"Because," Narcissa began in a soft voice. She faltered for a moment before trying again. "Because I can't give you an heir."
"You think I only care about that?"
"But don't you want to have children, Lucius?"
"Of course I do. But I also want you, Narcissa. I want to have children with you."
Narcissa shook her head sadly. "We can't think in such terms, Lucius. I know this. You know this. We are Purebloods. We have a duty to ensure that our family lines don't die with us, especially yours since you are a male and you still carry your family name. I have failed in my duty, Lucius. I have failed to give you a child."
"No," Lucius breathed. "How could you even think about blaming yourself? I have never blamed you."
"Because you are able to make me pregnant, but I am unable to keep a baby alive," Narcissa answered simply. "Therefore, I am clearly the one at fault."
"Stop speaking like that," Lucius snapped. "This is my father's doing, isn't it? It would be just like that old bastard to say such things to you." Lucius then turned, as if to leave.
"Lucius, wait," Narcissa cried. Lucius stopped and turned slightly to look at his wife.
"Yes, your father have spoken to me about this," Narcissa spoke, "but I had already made the decision to leave when I was still at St. Mungo's." Narcissa took a deep breath before continuing. "None of the Healers can tell me why I'm unable to carry a healthy, living child. All I know is that I just keep on having miscarriages. And I can't keep on doing that to you, Lucius. We have a duty. My presence here is keeping you from doing your duty.
"You are still young, Lucius. You still have time to find yourself another wife. There may be some talk for a while, but it won't last for long. Your family is well too respected in the Pureblood circles for that to happen. And who cares what everyone else thinks? They are inferior to us. Their opinions do not matter.
"And I'll make sure that everyone knows that it wasn't because of you that I left. I'll make sure that everyone knows that it was because of me. The Black family has suffered from scandal and weakness before. We can do so again. I'll just be another disappointment. That sometimes happens, even in Pureblood families as noble and as ancient as the Blacks.
"But I won't allow you to be dishonored just because your wife cannot give you an heir. I'm sorry, Lucius, but I have to leave. It's for the best, especially for your sake. That's all I've ever cared about, doing what's best for you."
"No," Lucius cried. "I don't care what anyone says. I rather be childless and have you than have many children with a wife I care nothing about. And I don't care if that goes against our Pureblood beliefs. I can only take so much of duty. I hate duty. I hate it. I just want to forget about duty for once in my life.
"I want you, Narcissa. No, I need you. I know that you have some idea of what I do for the Dark Lord. And I don't mind none of it. I really don't. But none of it truly helps me. Nothing I do seems to dull the pain that I feel. The pain may go awhile for a little while, but it always comes back eventually. Sometimes I feel so lost, Narcissa, so empty. And I know that I'm not supposed to feel that way. But I do.
"You take away my pain, Narcissa. You are my sanity, my only sanity in this cold world. I live in darkness, Narcissa, darkness. You are the only thing that keeps me from falling completely into that darkness. You give me a way out. You give me hope. Without you, I would go mad. Without you, I would have no reason to live. I am empty without you. I am nothing without you. You are everything to me, Narcissa, everything.
"Don't go. Please, don't go. Stay. Stay here with me. I need you here with me. If the Malfoy line is meant to die with me, then so be it. But please, Narcissa, don't go. Don't leave me here alone."
Narcissa was crying by this point, but even through her tears, she couldn't help but notice something about her husband that she had never seen before.
There were tears in his eyes. He wasn't crying like she was, but he was close to doing so.
Narcissa had always known that Lucius loved her, but she had never thought that the possibility of losing her would affect him this much.
"Come here," Lucius breathed, holding out a hand towards his wife.
Narcissa paused only for a moment before walking over to her husband and taking his hand.
Lucius wrapped his arms around Narcissa and pulled her close to him.
"I'm sorry about the baby," Lucius spoke. "I know how much you want to be a mother."
"Maybe one day we'll get lucky," Narcissa replied. "Maybe one day we'll finally be able to have a child together."
"Maybe," Lucius agreed weakly. "But even if that never happens, my feelings for you will not change. You will always be important to me."
"I know," Narcissa breathed. "I'm sorry for not fully realizing that until now."
Lucius just held her closer.
And Narcissa was torn between both happiness and sadness. She was happy that Lucius still wanted her as his wife, despite her inability to give him a child. But she was sad that she wasn't able to have that child. She really did want to be a mother.
But maybe, just maybe, she would one day finally be able to become a mother. And maybe one day Lucius would finally be able to become a father.
A huge part of her, though, was telling her that she was just being completely naive and foolish.
That, however, didn't stop her from hoping.
Author's Note: I hope that I didn't make Lucius or Narcissa too sappy or OCC. Okay, so it is sappy, but I hope it's not too sappy (because I really don't like doing sappy that much, especially when the story is supposed to be angst). I sometimes find it hard to write dialogue that is both emotional and realistic. This chapter really sounded great in my head, LOL. I also hope that I didn't make Lucius sound too obsessive over Narcissa. Anyways, I hope that all my readers have enjoyed this fic, and there will be more to come in another fic.