In the backyard of the Ed mansion, the team boards their private jet as the Utonium sisters watch. "Any particular place you guys plan on visiting?" The hottie and legal aged Blossom asks.
"We decided to do something out of the ordinary today." Eddy says before Edd walks up the jet stairs and turns to him.
"We've been doing the ordinary?" He asks.
"Well it's becoming ordinary to our audience. We like to keep ya all on your feet but considering we can't light live fireworks behind you you're forcing us to find new ways to entertain all of you. So off to Japan it is then." Eddy explains.
"And is that why you're dragging the Anarchy sisters with?" Buttercup asks.
"Yeah, they may be inspired by western culture but I'm willing to bet they'll get us around Japan." Eddy answers.
"Plus Robot Princess Bubblegum only exists in GTA." Edd adds as he add a love pillow of Black Rabbit to the jet.
"I'm more surprised that they agreed to go with you guys. I thought all of you would rather get shot in the face then spend a day together." Blossom adds.
"It's true, that's why I had to strap them with these collars that are verbally controlled by anyone named Ed so if they disobey me they'll feel my anger." Eddy elaborates.
"The money we made from our shows fame has corrupted us all in our elder years." Edd shouts in the background.
"It's true, I'm not going to lie. At this point we really evolved into something more of the Archer character. You know? Overgrown children living there every fantasy without facing consequences."
"We've noticed. So you guys leaving anytime soon or what's the story with this flight plan?" Blossom asks.
"We're just not ready to go yet." Eddy answers.
"We're ready to go!" Edd shouts from the door of the jet.
"We're waiting for Ed and Brief to get here." Eddy replaces his original answer.
"We're here Eddy." Ed says as he walks up covered in blood and holding a filthy plunger.
"Where you've been?" Bubbles asks. Ed then enters this flashback sequence that won't only blow your mind but it'll blow your soul.
Ed and Brief drive through a forest as the light begins to fade away. "Told you we should've asked for directions." Brief says.
"We just went out for some Jack in the Box. Where the hell are we?" Ed answers. Meanwhile, a tall, slender figure watches them in the woods.
One minute later, the duo crash. "I'm really glad Double D ain't here causes he'd be b***ing somthen fierce about wearing seatbelts... Which you should do at all times kids." Ed says.
Five minutes later, nightfall, Ed and Brief are bound to a tree as Pasta monsters surround them. "Your blood shall bath the grass of the forest by sun rise." Jeff the killer tells them.
"Kid, the only blood that'll spill tonight will be yours and the way it'll happen will be so graphic that I can only describe what will be mainly involved so we don't disturb the readers. spoiler is that it'll involve your eyeballs, tounge, buttocks and a plunger. Warning, the plunger has been used, recently, not on a toilet." Ed counters.
"Bark! Bark!" Smile Dog gives a growl to the captives.
"I don't know what your power is but I'm pretty sure it's something people get neutered for." Ed lashes back. Smiley then crawls away with his tail between his legs.
Ten minutes later, Ed and Brief catch their breath after escaping the monsters. They hear the wail of Slander Man. "What do we do Ed? We're trapped in this forest with that monster." Brief panics.
"No Brief, that monster is trapped in the forest with me." Ed answers.
Five more minutes later, Ed finishes pouring a tank of gasoline around the forest. He then pulls out a lighter. "I like my pasta overcooked." Ed says before lighting the forest up with Slander Man trapped in the center letting out a scream of pain. "And Pyramid Head so could take you in a fight! Ha, referenced another story of the writers." Ed adds a shameless advertisement. He then walks over to a wounded Jeff the killer and stands over him with a plunger he pulled out of his coat. "I'm a man of my word Jeffery."
"No! Nooooooooo!" Jeff says as Ed takes a hold of him.
Back to normal time. "That was a crazy half hour ago." Ed fondly remembers as the others look at him confused.
"What's he talking about?" Edd asks.
"I don't know but he scares me." Eddy answers as they all board the jet and ready for take off. The Puffs wave goodbye as the jet takes off.
"Are they gone yet?" Buttercup asks.
"They're going... going... They stopped in front of a Wendy's and are now ordering a baconator with a milkshake and a side of fries... going again... and..." Bubbles continues.
"Bubbles!" Both the other sisters snap.
"What? They're gone." Bubbles answers.
"Yes! Party Time!" Blossom and Buttercup high-five.
Back on the jet, Edd rolls a tape separating the main room of the jet into two sectors. "Okay so this is the boy's side aka team awesome and that's the girls side aka useless girl members of the team that we need to keep this from being a sausage fest." Edd says as he stands on the same side as Brief and Ed.
"If the three of you together makes anything resembling a sausage then that would be a miracle of itty bitty, none existing manhood happening right before our very eyes." Panty answers back.
"HA! I said that 'HA' because you tried to imply that we all of interior manhood's when you even know a real manhood if it hit you in the face." Edd offers as a retort.
"Really?" Both the Anarchy sister just look at him.
"What ever, point is some day you two will frak some psychopaths that you hate with every fiber of your being and take the walk of shame while feeling like such a fraken weetodd."
"Now we're the ones going HA! Like we know any psychos." Panty answers before Eddy's voice came on the jets intercom.
"Greeting gents and b***es, this is your polit, your master, your god of the air waves with the biggest of docks speaking to you interior beings in the back." Eddy says already letting the power of jet captain going to his head... or maybe he's just being a d*** it gets hard to tell sometimes.
"Oh, foreshadowing." Edd says under his breath.
"Say what?" Panty asks him.
"Thanks to the best that money can buy we should be able to reach land of anime boobies in only a couple of hours." Eddy announces.
"What are we supposed to do for a couple of hours?" Ed asks.
"What about a in flight movie?" Brief suggests.
"Actually the super jets ate up the budget for that addition... along with the black box but hey we don't plan on crashing anytime are we?" Eddy answers on the intercom.
"If we don't have something to do I'm going to call in a bomb threat the moment we land at the airport!" Ed gets anxious.
"Fine play a game of Testo-San the ball breaking ninja!" Eddy answers.
"YEAH!" Ed cheers.
"What's that game about?" Brief asks.
"This!" Ed then kicks him in the groin and runs away.
"Oh... I get it now..." Brief say before passing out.
Three hours later, Stocking tries reading one of her magazines while Edd hovers his finger around her personal space. "Stop that."
"Stop what? I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. Touch." Edd then pokes the top of her head.
"For the love of! Eddy, he touched me!" Stocking complains.
"Not true! See?" Edd then goes back to not touching her.
"If none of you straighten out I will fly this plain into a mountain! Speaking of which if you look out to your right you can see the famous mountain Fuji." Eddy announces as everyone looks.
"Hey cool. Touch." Edd touches Stocking again. All of he sudden the plane the plane does a loop at full speed and firebombs towards the mountain.
"I warned you b***es!" Eddy yells as the rest of the crew is pushed against the back of the plane by the gforce. Edd is stuck at the bottom as Stocking and Panty are to his right and left.
"Not the way I planned to die but it's pretty decent!" Edd says before joining the others in a group scream.
"Have you all learned your lesson? (listens to their screams) Okay I'm just going to assume that 'Ahhh' stands for yeah so lets get back to normal flight pa-" Eddy then is interrupted by Ed who slowly crept up behind him unaffected by the gforce.
"Testo-San strikes again!" Ed yells before striking Eddy in the groin repeatedly as he was trying to fly the jet off the collision course "15 points! 16 points! 17! 18! 19! Going for a new record!" Edd counts the points with each strike. Eddy managed to fly the jet onto the mountain using it like a ramp but he forgot to deploy the wheels causing the plane to break apart. "34! 35!" The plane than collides with a massive rock breaking it into two and sending one half flying across the land while the other is stopped right then and there. Edd goes flying but lands safely in his seat a few feet away from the front half of the jet.
"Thank God I was using my seat belt!" Edd says.
"Stay in the jet big guy." Ed says as he crawls out of the broken window leaving a paralyzed Eddy in the jet.
"I am officially a woman now." Eddy answers.
"Ed, thank goodness. Help me up will ya?" Edd asks him.
"Oh sure just let me- Testo-San strike!" Ed yells as he goes to town on Edds poor defenseless manhood.
"Noooooo!" Edd yells as that shout is followed by fifty straight punches. Brief then walks out of the jet dazed and confused.
"W-What happened?" He asks as Ed sets his sight on him.
"What's happening carrot top? It's just you and me now." Ed says cracking his knuckles.
"Uh, Um, suicide nut punch!" Brief yells as he punches his own groin.
"What!? Can he do that? What ever, Last man standing! I win!" Ed cheers victoriously. The boys regroup.
"Hold on, just let me find my junk. Okay, one... two... three & four. Kay, I'm good." Edd says joining the others.
"Alright, so how many are we missing?" Eddy asks.
"Well lets see, We started with six and now we're four. What number of people did we lose then?" Edd asks like a preschool cartoon narrator.
"What ever number that is it's a number I can live with Double D." Eddy answers. The Eds then are interrupted by three girls.
"Halt villains! No one blows up a mountain in my country!" They look over to see Sailor Mars, Jupiter and Mercury there doing their iconic poses.
"Who the hell are these white girls that live in Japan their whole lives but for some reason only speak english? These are legitimate questions. Questions that demand an answer." Eddy asks.
"I'm Sailor Mars!" Mars poses.
"I'm Sailor Jupiter!" Jupiter poses.
"I'm Sailor Mercury!" Mercury poses.
"Are you strippers? Because you look like and sound like strippers and we've seen a lot of strippers." Edd explains.
"It's true and not just in Grand Theft." Ed answers.
"Oh that is it. You're going down. Jupiter Lighting!" Jupiter fires her lighting at Edd who just steps to the side and lets the bolt hit Brief. He then turns his head back to her and flips her off.
"F*** you Sailor Jupiter!" Edd says. Meanwhile Sailor Mars chases Eddy with her fire.
"What's the matter? Can' stand the heat?" Mars teases.
"Nonsense! I love the heat almost as much as I like girls with raven black hair but you're kinda ruining both for me!" Eddy answers back running for his life. Ed and Mercury have a standoff.
"What you got babe?" Ed asks.
"I've got Bubbles!" Mercury answers firing her attack. "Admitingly it sounded a lot more awesome in my head."
"Bubbles? Bubbles come from soap. Soap cleans things. My filth is what gives me my awesome boyish charms. Bubbles are evil!" Ed says as he runs from the Bubbles.
"Wow. Didn't think that'd actually work. Points for me." Mercury congratulates her self. All three Eds then join each other as they are running away.
"Hey Eddy?"
"Yeah Ed?"
"Remember that burrito you force-fed me?"
"Of course. Quadruple bean burrito mixed with some indian food."
"Lets use it." Ed says as the trio stop and point Eds butt towards the Sailor Scouts and lets him rip wind before Sailor Mars fire can hit them and deflects it back to them with vengeance.
"AMERICA!" All three Eds say. The fire dies down and the scouts are knocked out because hot girls don't die in my stories. The Eds stand over them.
"I like their clothes. You think if we put them on we'll have the powers?" Eddy asks.
"Only one way to find out." Edd answers.
Yeah, this is a long one guys but you know what they say about road trips, half the fun is getting there. But planes being safer than the car is bull because if the car stalls it won't fall out of the sky. To Be Continued!...