This story takes place many years ago.. And it's as close as I can get to a "Derpy episode".. She's the biggest breakout character of my series. And deserves her own episode of it..

Filly Derpy: (jumping on bed, but her eyes seen as normal and she dosen't have her cutie mark)

Colt Saten: Hey Derp. Quite that already, your gonna hurt yourself.

Filly Derpy: (stubbornly) Shut up! Your not the boss of me.. (bangs her head on the roof, making her have the cross eyed design).

Colt Saten: My god, you okay!?

Filly Derpy: (calmly and unaware of her new look) Sure, why do you ask?

SOON AFTER:

Colt Saten: Told you, you were gonna hurt.

Filly Derpy: Just shut up. (looks in mirror) My eyes look terrible.

Colt Saten: No.. They look unique. Just like you yourself.

Filly Derpy: Whatever.

Colt Saten: But anyway,. Just please don't tell your mom that this happened at my house.. She'll automatically blame me. Like she always dose..

Filly Derpy: Fine. Whatever. Just as long as nobody makes fun of.

Colt Saten: Relax. No one is gonna make fun of yo-

Reggie: Hey! Nice eyes Derpy.. Makes you look even stupider then before..

Filly Derpy: *whimpers*

Saten: Hey.. Screw off Reggie. Nobody likes you.

Reggie: Screw off.. But I only just started.. (containues making fun of Derpy).

Saten: Whatever.. I'm just trying to put this knife away (shows a bread knife).

Filly Derpy: It goes in the kitchen silly (chuckles)

Colt Saten: Thank yo- (suddenly the famish rainboom happened, and it shook the ground causing Saten to loose his balance and unintentionally stab Reggie in the head, instantly killing him)

Filly Derpy: (turning away from window) Hey cuz did you se- OH MY GOD!

Colt Saten: I'm sorry!

Filly Derpy: Is that Reggie!? DID YOU STAB REGGIE!?

Colt Saten: It was an accident!

Filly Derpy: How can it be an accident!?

Colt Saten: I'M SOR-

LATER AT A LOCAL BAR:

Colt Saten: (on his third beer, but strangely still sober (for the most part).

Filly Derpy: (anxiously pacing) Oh.. What if they find us!? I'm too cute for jail!

Colt Saten: Try to keep your voice down.. And besides. They can't find us. We threw both the body and the knife into the ocean.

Filly Derpy: (still pacing) But there's always a way.. Don't you ever watch those crime shows?

Filly Saten: Relax.. Go home and put Marijuana into some of your muffins.

Colt Derpy: That's just it.. That's usually how I would handle this type of situation. But.. I'm just too frightened.

(awkward silence).

Filly Derpy; We have to leave town.

Colt Saten: Leave town?.. But what about Glaze and Trixie?

Filly Derpy: We're send them letters.

Colt Saten: But Derp-

Filly Derpy: Pleease.. I'll make me feel so much safer.

Colt Saten: Fine.. Anything for you cuz. But the only one who knows a good way to getta of town is Glaze's ex boyfriend, Chimney Sweep.

Filly Derpy: But.. He's in jail.

Colt Saten; Then we just have to bust him out.. Besides. He was always so nice too me.

CUT AWAY:

Colt Chimney: (throws Saten against wall violently)

Colt Saten: Oh, ho.. Now your gonna beat me up? That's exactly why I called you an asshole in the first place!

Colt Chimey: SHUT UP! (violently beats him up).

END CUTAWAY:

Colt Saten: Yep. We shared some good times.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Guard: You must of been counting your blessings Chimney. You made bail.

Patrol board member: Do you believe, in your best judgment, that you have been rehabilitated?

Colt Chimney: Rehabilitated? It's just a stupid, made-up word, so boys like you can sit behind a desk, wear a fancy suit, and feel important. You're a jerk, and I had sex with your mother last night. And I swear to God, you let me outta here, first thing I'm gonna do is kill again!

Patrol board member: (approves him for bail).

Colt Chimney: Well. Thanks for bailing me out you two.

Filly Derpy: No problem.

Colt Chimney: Shit Derpy. What happened to your eyes!? You look like a puppy that was chewed up by an even bigger puppy. Hahahah- but seriously, you look great.

Filly Derpy: Look. We need you to help us get out of town. My cousin ended up killing Reggie.

Colt Saten: And somehow get a cutie mark for it.

Colt Chimney: Wait.. Reggie?.. Derpy, isn't he the one who punched you in the throat, and that's why your voice changed

Filly Derpy: No. He punched me in the throat BECAUSE my voice changed.

YEARS LATER, (their all at their current age).

AT THE FILLYDEFIA TRAIN STATION:

Derpy: Oh no. The line is so long. We're never get aboard.

Chimney: (imitating an sarcastic Rarity) Oh no, what EVER shall we do.

Chimney: (normal voice) Watch and learn my dear... (suddenly he takes out a live and loaded handgun and fires it several times into the air, successfully causing panic, and all the ponies ahead of them ran away in fear). There, problem salved. Now you two better hurry on there.

Saten: Aren't, you gonna come.

Chimney: You kidding. This train is heading to Ponyville. That place is as stupid as it gets, I can see why you chose it.

Saten: Yeah well., I can't stay with my stupid mother, Maddy no more. She hasn't changed. She's still the abusive, drunken mare, she always was.. She did a shitty job raising me, and she clearly hasn't changed..

Chimney: Yeah. Only she's a prositute now.

Derpy: Could we say that?

Chimney: Just did.

ON THE MOVING TRAIN:

Derpy: This works out for the best. I was tired of my stupid, dead end job.

CUTAWAY:

Derpy: (literary hammering a dead end road sign) THIS JOB SUCKS!

END CUTAWAY:

Saten: Sorry. What was that.. Still having day nightmares about my mothers 'revealing' outfits.

Stallion: Hey. Can you idiots keep it down!

Saten: Hey. No need for that.

Stallion: Just shut up. Just go back to talking to the crossed eyed freak over there.

Saten: *angrily* Before I knock out every single one of your teeth.. I'm gonna give you a final chance to apologize for that remark.

Stallion: I NEVER apologize for the tru- (gets violently punched in the face, but surprisingly by Derpy instead of Saten).

Stallion: You aggressive woman! (runs off crying like baby).

Derpy: Wimp!

Saten: Wow... I am so proud of you wait now.

Derpy: Thanks.. I guess.

Derpy: Anyway. What now?

Saten: Only one thing TOO do..

SOON AFTER:

Saten and Derpy are seen sharing a weed joint, as only 'one' was able to be sneaked aboard.

Derpy: (stoned) I.. I'm telling you. T The only reason we die.. I Is because we except it as an inevitability.

Saten: ... (stoned laugh and points at the joint) This shit is AWESOME! (they both laugh, and high five).

The train finally arrived in Ponyville. Almost instantly, Pinkie Pie was there to reach introduce herself. She still knew the Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow and Fluttershy back then. But the others never met each other yet.

Pinkie: Welcome to Ponyville.

Derpy: Wow.. Back in Fillydefia. We would of gotten robbed by now.

Saten: (shrugs unsurely).

Pinkie: Want me to give you a tour?

Derpy: We.. We don't have any money.

Pinkie: (pets Derpy's head) Oh. Your so silly, you don't need money for this.

Derpy: Okay then.. As long as you don't pet me like that. We'll be happy to.

Pinkie: (pets her head again) great.

Derpy: (groans)

Saten: (snickers to himself).

Pinkie showed Derpy and Saten all over Ponyville, eventually they ended up at sweet apple aches.

Saten: (eyes widen) Holly cow.. Who's that!?

Pinkie: Oh that.. That's Applejack.

Saten: She's.. Beauitful.

Derpy: Really? Not really something I'd look twice at. (looks at AJ again), No wait, never mind..

Pinkie: (calling out) Hey AppleJack! Come meet the new folks.

AJ: (comes over) greetings.

Saten: (has trouble finding his tongue)..

AJ: Are ya okay?

Saten: Yeah.. It's just.. (sigh) would you go out with me?

AJ: (pauses)... Sure.

Saten: R Really?

AJ: Sure. Why not.. Just give mah an hour or so (leaves)

Pinkie & Derpy both: Wow... Impressive.

Saten: Really? Cause I almost shitted myself.

Derpy: Oh.. I'm sure you two would be 'perfect' together.

WEEK AND A HALF LATER

AJ: (sadly) Ah.. Ah think we need ta break up

Saten: (holding large wine bottle, having finally opened it) What!? Why!?

AJ: It's.. It's just not working out.

Saten: Why!?

AJ: Well.. For one thing. Ya drink WAY ta much

Saten: No I don't! (ends up chugging down the entire bottle of wine in less then five minutes, much to AJ's shock).

Saten: (burbs)... What? I was thirsty.

AJ: Look sugercube.. I'm sorry.. But Ah need ta move on towards bigger, better, things.

Saten: ... Like meth?

AJ: (annoyed) No. Not like me-

Saten: Want some?

AJ: No ah don't wan- WHY DO YA HAVE METH!?

Saten: Relax. I don't use it. I only sell it..

AFTER THE EVENTS OF EPISODE 1

Everyone was enjoying the party. Saten who didn't come as he was still depressed from AJ having dumped him. And Derpy, being very protective of him and mad at AppleJack for upsetting him, tricked the western pony into having one of Derpy's 'special' muffins.

AJ: (eating it quickly) this is delicious. What's in it?

Derpy: Oh you know. Dough. Blueberries.. Bit of pot.

AJ: (nervously) What was that last part!?

Derpy: ... Raisins.

AJ: THAT'S NOT WHAT YA SAID!

Derpy: Whatever. Just be glad this is a party for that new girl. Because your gonna be hungry.. A LOT

After the party. Derpy found Saten Twist sitting sadly ontop of a hill, holding a eggnog box and drinking from it.

Derpy: Hey cuz.. Still upset about AppleJack?

Saten: Well. It's not JUST Applejack. It's just.. I'm starting to realize. Nobody loves me.. Not Glaze, not AppleJack. Not even my own mother. ESPECIALLY not my mother..

Derpy: That's not true.. Someone would always love you.. Me!

Saten: (chuckles) fair enough (kisses her cheek). Eggnog?

Derpy: Laxtose.

Saten: : It's just Vodka. Stopped being eggnog about two hours ago.

Derpy: in that case (grabs it and takes hug drink out of it).

Saten: (laughs) hey, save some for me.

Derpy: Right. Sorry.. (hands it back to him).

Saten: (takes anouther drink of it).

Derpy: (looks around, and wraps her arm around Saten) All in all.. I think we're gonna like it here.

Saten: (burps) sorry.

END OF EPISODE 9