Sacrifices for the Greater Good
Mission VIII
A few mornings after the mugging, her and Illya's pleasant morning routine was interrupted by the arrival of George. With Gaby's prediction that he had instigated the robbery, his visit was not totally unexpected but she faked surprise at his unannounced presence. He accepted Gaby's offer of a coffee and sat at their dining table.
"Rosie told me about the attack." He said, by way of explanation for his presence. "Awful business that, I figured you both deserved a break after the ordeal."
"I have work today." Illya pointed out.
"I know, I spoke to your boss and he isn't expecting you. He was a little put out you didn't tell him yourself or he would have given you a day off anyway." He raised a hand as Illya was about to protest. "I know my interference might sting a little, but after a sudden attack a break is necessary. I'm sure a man of your height appreciates basketball, and I've managed to procure two tickets. And as for you," he turned to Gaby with a smile, "Rose wants to take you to that café you like."
"A break might do us some good." She tried to convince Illya. "You have been tense ever since it happened." He looked at her carefully and eventually nodded.
"That's the spirit." George said cheerfully. "Rosie will be waiting for you at the house."
The café Gaby liked was really more a bakery. They served mostly European treats, many of which recalled fond memories from her childhood when she took a bite from them. She had found herself frequenting it more and more as the mission went on, and she suspected it largely was the cause for the slight weight gain Illya had noticed. She had already vowed to restrict her treats once they returned to London, but was unwilling to give up one of her few pleasures while they were still stuck here.
As she always did, she ordered a slice of Stollen. It was really more of a Christmastime treat, but it was a speciality of the bakery so they sold it all year around. She was halfway through it, half-listening to Rose droning on about something inconsequential, when a sudden and curious feeling of light-headedness overcame her. Poison was her immediate thought, and she looked in horror at what was left on her plate. She had been so stupid, a good spy never formed such regular, easy to predict habits. Rose appeared to notice Gaby's sudden panic, and her wide eyes seemed to suggest innocence in the matter. Maybe Illya had slipped up somehow and George had sent someone to poison her food. She didn't get the chance to think too much more on the subject as her vision suddenly went black and she felt herself fall from her chair.
When Gaby woke up again on a gurney, she sat up immediately and clutched her head as the sudden movement caused a stab of pain.
"Easy there." She heard a female voice say, and a reassuring hand was placed on her shoulders. "Do you remember what happened?"
"I passed out." She said, and looked up to see Rose standing over her, concern written all over her face.
"Yes, I drove you to the hospital. A doctor should be here soon." The longer Gaby remained sitting, the better she felt, and by the time the doctor stopped by she felt nearly normal again. She wondered whether she had only been given a mild dose of poison that her body had managed to fight off, was this meant as a warning of some kind? Or a miscalculation? After all, she had only managed to eat half her treat before it had taken effect. A cold hand suddenly gripped around her heart as she remembered that Illya was with George that day, he may not have escaped so unscathed.
"Hello Mrs Jones. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked.
"Better now. I don't know what happened." She said truthfully.
"You appear to have fainted, from what your friend told me," he inclined his head in Rose's direction, "your pulse was steady and you were still breathing. Do you have any other symptoms?"
"I have a headache." Gaby said. "And I'm feeling a little nauseous."
"How long has this been going on?" She frowned as she tried to think about it.
"A little while, maybe a week or so."
"I see." The doctor made a few notes. "Would you like to speak privately, or do you mind me speaking in front of your friend." Gaby glanced over at Rose, who smiled at her reassuringly. A gesture of trust might help in the mission a little.
"She can stay." She said quietly. The doctor nodded and asked a few other questions, which she replied to as best as she could.
"Is there any chance you might be pregnant?" The question was so unexpected that Gaby could do little other than just stare at him in response. "Mrs Jones?" The doctor looked up from his clipboard to eye her carefully.
"I-I don't know." Now that the word had been said aloud, it made a frightening amount of sense. If anything her nausea worsened, almost as though her body was trying to confirm her suspicion. She and Illya were normally very careful, but when emotions ran high they became careless. Pregnancy was not an impossibility based on her recall of the past several weeks.
"I can do a blood test to confirm it, if you would like? It will be a few days before the results are available." She nodded absently, and barely noticed as a nurse arrived and manipulated her arm in order to take a sample. What was she going to tell Illya?
"This is good news, isn't it?" Rose asked once the health professionals had left the room, she sounded slightly confused about Gaby's reaction.
"Of course it is." Gaby lied. "I'm just surprised that's all." Doing some mental arithmetic revealed that she was likely to be around two months along, she had never been particularly regular which was likely why she hadn't noticed earlier.
"I'm so happy for you!" Rose said cheerfully. "I bet Charlie will be over the moon." The blood drained from Gaby's face, she could barely process the news she doubted he would do much better.
"Rose," she started seriously, grabbing hold of the girl's hand in a slight gesture of desperation, "could you do me a favour?"
"Of course." She looked a little surprised at Gaby's expression.
"Could you please not mention this to anyone, not even to Charlie?" At this request, the woman before her nearly recoiled in astonishment.
"If that's what you want, I'm happy to do that, but why?" Thinking quickly, Gaby came up with an excuse.
"I had a miscarriage once, it was a while ago and I never told anyone." She lied. "I'm scared it will happen again, I would rather wait until I'm further along before I tell anyone else, just in case."
"Oh Gaby, I'm so sorry." Rose was the definition of sympathetic. "I won't say anything, I promise." Gaby allowed the hug to happen, hoping the other woman couldn't feel her heart hammering away in her chest with panic.
She dropped Rose off at her house and returned home. She rummaged around a drawer until she found her stash of expensive tea bags, and made herself a cup. The smell as the hot water hit the bag was incredibly soothing to her frayed nerves, and she settled into the couch, sipping at the scalding liquid.
Gaby had maybe a few hours before Illya would return from his day out, and she had until then to figure out what she wanted to do. She had at least secured Rose's silence on the matter, so it was unlikely he would find out from someone else. She found herself staring at her abdomen, wondering about the little being that was currently clinging to life there. She had never thought about children in the past, it had always been a vague possibility for some time far into a hypothetical but impossible future. She was a spy, she couldn't have children, and she especially couldn't have children with a KGB agent.
She couldn't predict Illya's reaction, from what she knew about him she suspected that he had always wanted a big family. She could easily picture him surrounded by dozens of little blond children, and her heart unwillingly tightened at the mental image. Like her, she suspected that his own desires were a fantasy destined for another life. The KGB would never let him go, and if they ever found out that he had impregnated a former East German turned MI6 agent, she didn't even want to think about what they would do to him.
A sudden burst of rage hit her, and she threw her mug across the room until it dashed against a wall and sent its hot contents all over the wallpaper. They would not even be able to have a proper discussion about it, not when the house was under such heavy surveillance. If she told him today, it would be in the fake and detached manner of his pretend wife to her pretend husband. Regardless of how he actually felt he would have to imitate joy, and go on to suggest American names he would never give a child and talk about all the hated sports their future son would play. She did not think she could bear to listen to it, especially when she would no doubt have to agree and fake excitement rather than the dread she was actually feeling.
Gaby wanted to leave this wretched place, she wanted to return to their flat and have a proper discussion on the subject. One where they could debate the merits of various plans freely, and try to find a solution that would benefit all three of them. She wanted to abandon the mission and let the FBI do its own dirty work. She felt a pang of horror as it suddenly occurred to her how much danger she had placed herself, and unknowingly her baby in. They had been mugged only a few days ago, the broken bottle her attacker had wielded could have been shoved into her womb and she would have been none the wiser. The thought sent her running to the bathroom, and she had abruptly emptied her stomach's contents into the toilet. Wiping her mouth, she had forced herself to calm down. The past was in the past, she had not been stabbed so there was no use dwelling on 'what if'. It was the future she had to worry about. She returned down the stairs and cleared the mess she had made, carefully picking up each broken shard and throwing them in the bin. With that task completed, she made herself another cup of tea and let its heat warm her up. By the time Illya returned, Gaby had settled on a plan and had drunk half her stash of tea.
"I have news." He announced cheerfully as he entered the house and found her still huddled on the couch. He paused with a frown. "Are you feeling okay? You look very pale."
"I'm fine." She said, curious as to what he had to say. "What's your news?"
"George has offered me a job." She felt her heart sink. "Much better paying than the construction work, you could buy all the shoes you want."
This was the offer they had been waiting weeks for, a sign that the mission would soon come to a close. All that needed to happen now was for Illya to wear a recording device and capture George ordering him explicitly to do something illegal and gang related. Once that final proof had been captured, the FBI would take over and they would be able to leave. They were so close now, and Gaby found herself abandoning her plan to drag Illya outside the house, tell him the news and demand they abandon the mission.
"That's great honey." She said, summoning as much enthusiasm as possible for the eavesdropper. "What is the work?" He sat beside her and took her hand.
"It is not strictly legal." He admitted. "So I don't want you to worry too much about it. The risks aren't very high, but the rewards should be great." He drew her close, and she moved in closer, gripping him probably more tightly than was necessary.
That night, curled up in bed together, Gaby waited until she could hear Illya's even breathing which signalled he had fallen asleep. She let a hand drift to her stomach, and had to raise her other to her mouth to muffle the sudden sound she made. The tears came hard and fast as she realised the complicated situation she was going to be bringing a child into, there was no way this could go well. Her shoulders shook as her body was wracked with concealing her sobs, the pillow already wet with tears.
She was so consumed with her thoughts, she barely noticed the change in Illya's breathing pattern, but she did notice when an arm snaked around her and pulled her close. He didn't ask what she was upset about, conscious of the bug that was concealed in the bedside lamp, but let her cry silently into his chest.
Author's Note: I wonder how many predicted that twist (I'm sure most of you realised when Gaby started reciting symptoms at the doctors), I have dropped a few small hints prior to this chapter. Stollen is awesome by the way, if your home city has a German market around December I recommend buying some.