Ed stands in a dark back alley as a bar door is closed on him. "F- Funk you Mo-Mothertruckers. Yo-You can't kick me out. I kick me out. See!" Ed says as he turns and walks away. He looks around as he tries to decided which path to take in a fork in the road. Ed takes the left road. He continues down the path wobbling side to side and breaking walls and pushing dumpsters and cars out-of-the-way when he unknowingly walks into them.

Meanwhile, a jet hovers over his head. It's piloted by Jonny, A.K.A The Gord. "Their he is." Johnny says to Aku and Him as they stand near the bay door. "Now when I say Flying Banana jumps the moons apple tree, you two spring out and kick his a**." Johnny tells them.

"And?" Him asks.

"And what?" Johnny asks back.

"We kick his a** and then what?" Aku asks.

"Oh right, we need a follow-up on that. Um, just toss him in the trunk I'll think of something later." Johnny answers. Before anyone else can say anything he yells that go phrase which is long yet catchy and the demon duo spring out of the back of the jet hurdling towards the ground. Both of them land with the grace of a ninja, or of my dog who constantly sneaks up behind me somehow even in the dark and scares me to no end.

"Da freak you two nerds want?" Ed asks still dripping back and forth.

"Oh just die already." Him says breathing fire with the force of a rocket thruster directly at Ed. The bricks on the building on the sidelines and the asphalt beneath their feet even began to melt. Him finally came to a stop to see Ed was just stripped of his clothes but unphased by the attack.

"Did you just try to kill me-" Ed then belches. The alcohol in his breath was so great that the tiniest spark from Hims flame ignited it catching Him in the crossfire. Him let out a scream as the flames devoured him. Once they died out he was charred to a crisp and fell over in defeat but still alive.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Amature!" Aku declared.

"I know that voice. Aren't you Duck Dodgers alarm clock?" Ed asks.

"No way. That's a completely different voice actor all together."

"No. You're the guy. They even had that one episode that pointed it out cause it was so obvious."

"Who are you? Captain Nostalgia." Aku says before firing his eye-beams at Ed. "Succumb to my mind control mortal!"

With in the mind of Ed: I'm horny, are the Powerpuffs eighteen yet or was that just the Helpless story Shaman wrote?

"Good Heavens, this guy's an idiot." Aku said. Him got back up.

"Any progress?" Him asked.

"Our powers have no effect!" Aku answers.

"That's why I brought this." Him said holding a tazer out and fires it at Ed hitting him right between the eyes. Ed twitched rapidly but the mass of electricity coursing through his body caused him to sober up. In that sobriety Ed was consumed by rage and walked towards the two despite being zapped. Him and Aku started to slowly back up as Ed picked up speed.

"I!... Will devour your corpse's from the scalp down to the toes!... And deficit your remains onto your dead friends!" Ed said as he tore the tazers off of his face. Ed started to walk towards the two.

"Uh oh." Johnny said as he viewed the spectacle from above. Panicking, Johnny lands the jet on Ed.

"What the f*** Melon Head?" Him asked.

"I don't know! I panicked!" Johnny answered. "Alright, write a note so that the scene looks like it was suicide and not just straight up murder. The police don't care, it just mean less work for them to do."

Meanwhile, back at the Eds mansion. Edd and Eddy sit on the couch watching TV. Edd just channel surfs as Eddy thinks of new things to hate in the world. "Pretty weird, huh? Just having a normal day for once." Edd asks.

"Yeah, don't know whether to like it or not." Eddy answers followed by a long silence.

"Hey, looks what's on TV." Edd says as they turn on that science fiction movie Ed was watching on the cartoon in the episode 'The Ed-Touchables'.

"Ed's missing out." Eddy says.

"Eeyup." Edd says as the long silence returns.

Back to the villains. "Alright, now read it back to me." Johnny orders Him to read the false note.

"Me, Ed, shot more than you guys thunk. Getting runned over by jet like always speak about." Him finishes the note.

"Full proof." Johnny said as the three got on the jet and blasted back off leaving Eds body in a crater. His hand was they only thing still intact. It began to twitch before clenching itself into a fist.

Meanwhile, Eddy sits at a toilet with Edd waiting on the other side of the door. "This wouldn't happen if you ate more fiber." Edd said.

"I eat plenty of fiber, this all happened because we had those eggs Ed found in the alley behind the mansion." Eddy yelled back.

"I think we should get some snarling Michael Vic dogs for that alley, I'm pretty sure the homeless are banging back there."

"You know I can't go if you're talking, why are you talking when I'm trying to make?"

"Shutting up." Edd says as everything goes silence.

"Well now I can't concentrate cause I just think you're out there judging me. I drop a goose on my time."

"Nobody's judging ya, the bathroom slash water-park is a judge free zone."

"I'm really begging to question why we added that in a bathroom and not a, well you know, room of its own."

"Don't we have a room completely for a Ligar?" Edd asks.

"We have ligars?"

"Probably not anymore."

Elsewhere, in an empty room lies the skeleton of a Ligar. In the arms of an angel- Please don't sue!

"It's official, this is a turtle. It'll poke its head out but won't for the life of itself come all the way out."

"Oh! I know what to do!" Edd said as he ran into the room next door and back out. He kicks the bathroom door open and runs in with a staff.

"WTF!?" Eddy asks.

"Thou! Shall! Pass!" Edd yelled slamming the cane into the ground causing the lights to flicker and Eddy's legs twitch. A Minute later and everything was back to normal.

"Th... That worked. Thanks Double D." Eddy says.

"I guess you can say that this turds been flushed." Edd says as he pulls some aviator shades out of his shirt pocket it and slides them one.

"Whatever." Eddy says walking out of the bathroom.

"... Couldn't help but notice you didn't wash your hands!... Foreigner!" Edd yelled.

The Powerpuffs wonder the mall on its nighttime hours. They just got an awesome IDW comic that has them, Dexter's Laboratory, Samurai Jack, Ben 10 and the Eds team up to fight their villains (It's real and the first issue is out now kids, I highly recommend it) but little did they know it was about to come true. "Why aren't we seeing royalties for this stuff?" Buttercup asks.

"I'm not sure. Did we get paid for Helpless?" Blossom asks. The others shrug as Scantly, Kneesocks and Shaman's ninja dog, for some reason, run over the three with their evil limbozine.

"That was easy." Scantly said.

"Writer must be getting lazy. Hell, he's throwing in his dog into the story for some reason." Kneesocks answered.

"Well any how, let's throw these three in the trunk." The demon dominatrixs did just that and drove of.

Back at the base of evil for C.O.C.K. in the middle of the Mojave desert the Demon sisters regroup with the other villains. MY advice to Johnny and the others was greatly appreciated when asked what happened to Ed.

My advice: He got wasted and walked that way.

"So he just walked into a dark alley ready to fall victim to whom ever was waiting in their?" Scantly asked.

"E-Yeah. Yeah! Yes he did! Thank you for noticing." Johnny said.

"That's weak. I thought you guys would just run over him like we did with the Puffs. Speaking of which weren't we going to kill the Eds and Anarchy Sisters too?" Kneesocks asks.

"Relax, with out their muscle the Eds will be defenseless and without their beewbs they'll be at each other's throats. Add the Anarchy Sisters and they'll kill each other within a day." Johnny explains.

"Brilliant, let them waste each other." Scantly says.

"I also sent someone to rub it into their faces." Johnny said.

The Powerpunk Girls cruise in a pimped up evil mobile. Brute does a drive by shooting as they pass the Eds house. Meanwhile at the same time Brock cooks their breakfast.

"Real corn make's the bread special." Brock says as his last words as a bullet flys through the window and nails him between the eyes.

"That better be Blossom's dishes I hear breaking in there!" Eddy says as him and Edd walk in.

"Huh?" Both the Eds say as they see their cooks body on the floor with a note. Edd picks it up.

"We, the Community Of Criminal Kings, have declared war on you, the residents of Eds mansion. We have defeated Ed." Edd pauses as Eddy speaks.

"Our muscle?" Eddy says putting his hands in front of his mouth out of fear.

"Taken the Powerpuffs Hostage."

"Our Beewbs?" Eddy cowers more.

"And killed your cook." Edd says as the oven timer dings.

"Our Corn Bread!" Eddy yells as he falls to the floor breaking out into tears.

"P.S. HAHAHAHA! NANANANA! Pfft!" Edd finishes the notes.

"W-What do we do Eddy? We ain't got nothing but an entirely empty mansion to ourselves now!" Edd asks as he lifts Eddy up.

"We curl up and cry?" Eddy suggest.

"Only if it's with you." Edd says.

"Okay." The two curl up and suck their thumbs as they cower and let evil take the Earth.

The End.

I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read this story and wish you all a good life. Check ya later.

"STOP!" Ed yells as he walks through the mansion door in the buff. "Rewind those cheap a** dollar credits and slow your role there Poe. I still need my revenge." Ed says.

"Ed! You're alive! And naked? Good for you." Eddy says.

"He came in on two giant balls! Ed just wants you to drain them all! How the f*** does the rest of that song go?" Edd asks.

"Bring me the See Through and a pair of undies. I'm going to kill Johnny." Ed tells the others.

"You sure? You're really torn up." Eddy asks.

"They ran me over with a jet." Ed answered with a twitch.

"Okay..." Edd and Eddy backed up and into the next chapter.

TO BE CONTINUED!...