"And so with the power of screen transaction, The Eds, Anarchy Sisters and Mojo Jojo got back into their limousine and drove of to the lair of the Community Of Criminal Kings. This trip would be more delay then facing the villains due to the fact that Mojo was the one driving and he was in a full body cast. Why is he the one driving? Cause he's the only one that knows where they need to go." Edd ceased his narration of the events that were currently unfolding in front of everyone after being smacked upside the head by Eddy.
"Damn it man! You used to be our brains, what happened to you?" Eddy asks.
"KevEdd is what happened." Edd says making everyone cringe.
"Changing subject, doesn't anyone wanna question how our car just fixed itself after crashing last chapter?" Ed asks.
"Eh, I'm sure it's something RainbowRanger will nit pick the hell out of in the review." Eddy answers.
"I'm giving it to Brandoclarck1914. He reviews the details of the chapter pretty well." Edd says.
"If we're talking about reviewing the chapter in general then it's going to be ROCuevas for sure. Hands down." Ed corrects them both.
"EHHH! Wrong! Adam 01 is due for a review." Panty says.
"I'm taking Nine90 cause... he's all that's left?"
"You're name drops of loyal readers won't save you this chapter nor give Shaman94 a free pass for taking so long to update! We, as a cohesive unit, are in more danger then you, the ones called Eds and Angles, can possibly comprehend! Your only hope now is to free the Powerpuff Girls, your allies whom are now apprehended by the Community Of Criminal Kings, and I, Mojo Jojo!" Mojo said in an over the top fashion.
"Did you understand anything he said?" Panty asked.
"Like half the time." Eddy answered.
"I think he means we're about to die." Edd said.
"How tough can a team named after my king cobra be?" Eddy asked.
"I dunno but we're about to crash into their wall." Edd answered.
"I, Mojo Jojo, can't reach the brakes." Mojo said.
Everyone screamed as their lives flashed before their eyes each moment a monument to the glory and beauty that defines what life is worth living for but I wasn't there for any of those moments so I'm just going to play the commercial from our sponsors.
BEAST WARS! Get this figure to fight this figure!... Reenact them hype a** cartoon moments!... Man f*** Neo! Canadian cartoon for days man!
Back in the base of C.O.C.K we see the dinning room. Nergal and Him have a conversation. "See these tentacles that's proof I was the original Slender Man. I even donned the suit way before hand. You know how much it cost?" Nergal asks.
"I don't know, a lot?" Him answered.
"It cost a lot!" Nergal answered.
All of the sudden the breaks down as the limbo drives right through and runs the two over. On the bright side it comes to a safe and complete stop. "Well that was a ripoff." Ed said unimpressed.
The team gets out and Eddy runs up to the front where Him and Nergal are pinned under the vheical possibly dead. "We don't have to get into the insurance nonsense, do we?" Eddy says tossing a few hundreds on the bodies. "That should cover it."
"Now you all must follow Mojo for Mojo knows the way." Mojo said while strapped to Eds back.
"Okay Mr. Mojo but how do we do that exactly? Cause... you know." Edd asked.
"Big one, take a right. My right! My right!" Ed corrects his course and runs to the left of the hall.
Fuzzy Lumpikins walks out of the bathroom. "Won't be wanting to go in there for a while." Ed then runs by and pushes him through the door and back into the bathroom. Eddy lights a match and tosses it in.
On the outside of the base half of it blows up.
The Eds keep running. "What was that for?" Edd asks Eddy.
"Cause the smell man, I was able to see it." Eddy answered.
Scantly, Princess and Kneesocks then walk out into the hall. "Why am I here? I haven't appeared in the whole story and now that I have it's just to get killed or maimed for a quick laugh as filler content? F*** you Shaman." It was at that point Princess realized that Scantly and Kneesocks have crept away. Ed then bulldozes her over as the rest trample her to death. "F*** you Shaman." Okay now she's dead.
The Eds burst into the main room of evil doings and find the Puff locked up. "The fiend! He captured the Puffs, put them behind a one way mirror and isn't forcing them to perform strip shows!? It's the most diabolical thing I can think off!" Eddy says.
"It's not a one way mirror!" Blossom shouts out to him as the three look in his direction.
"I was too focused on revenge to think of that but thanks for the idea for Starfire and Raven in the future." Johnny 2x4 says as he comes out dressed as THE GOURD.
"Johnny? You're still mad about that stuff from when we were twelve?" Eddy asks in a surprised tone.
"Wow, you've killed a lot of people trying to get revenge on us." Edd says.
"And ran up property damage. What do you have to say for yourself mister?" Ed asks.
"... F*** you." Johnny answers.
"Well he get's to the point, that much is for sure." Edd says.
"You're all fools for walking right into my trap. Now die by a thousand smack from a thousand wet noodles!" Johnny yells at them as four turrets sprout from the wall, ceiling and floor firing a thousand wet noodles at the team.
"DUCK AND COVER!" Ed Turns shielding everyone as Mojo takes every round.
"AAAAHHHHHH! MOJO CAN'T BE IN ANYMORE PAIN!" Mojo yelled.
The firing ceased as the Eds got back up. Eddy looked to Mojo "Way to take one for the team buddy." Eddy said highfiving Mojo causing him even more pain. "Oops, sorry."
Ed then walks over to Johnny. "My turn." He says.
"Now let's be reasonable. Ed? ED!? BLISTER!" Johnny calls for Plank who falls from the ceiling with a bar of soap tied to him.
"SOAP! My one weakness!" Ed yells as he falls back trying to avoid being touched by the soap as Johnny holds Plank out.
"No. NO! NO! NO!NO!" Ed hits the ground landing on Mojo.
"You don't play fair Gourd." Ed says as he tries to slide away with the soap getting ever so closer.
"And I never will." Johnny added with a grin. He then pushed a button activating a trapdoor for Ed to fall into.
"AH!" Ed grabs onto the side of the opening keeping himself up. He looks back to see a bubble bath awaiting for him down below.
"Noodles, soap, bubble baths. The stakes aren't really as high as we all originally thought." Edd says watching from the sidelines as Eddy and Panty shared some popcorn and Stocking indulged on a cupcake.
"Now Ed, listen to your mother and take a bath!" Johnny yelled out.
"Huh?" Ed said confused.
"Sorry, it was a dream I had a while back. Really trippy." Johnny explained.
"Wanna talk about it?" Ed asks.
"Yeah we did that in the dream, didn't work out." Johnny answered. He then held Plank out and in Eds face. "Take it. TAKE IT!"
"NOOOO!" Mojo yelled as he grabbed Johnny's arm. "Come Gourd! Let us bathe together, IN HELL!" Mojo then unstrapped himself and fell into the pit with Johnny and Plank.
"Nooooooooo!" Johnny yelled in slow motion before falling into the tub.
Both he and Mojo then resurfaced. "Great, now I need to dry off Plank." Johnny said.
"You're insane, this is insane." Mojo says. The both of them then noticed a dorsal fin swim by. "Huh?"
"I don't remember adding that." Johnny says.
Three months ago: "Oh yeah, my sea monkeys finally came." Butch dug through the mail. "Hey, it's just a shark... Oh well, gotta make do with what life gives ya I suppose. Come along Andrew Dynamite Action Jackson, that's your name now."
Ed climbs out of he pit. "Again, anyone want to question as to why Mojo wanted to help us? I mean last I checked I was responsible for killing his kids." He asks.
"Oh it's like that show, Torchwood, who remembers now?" Eddy said as he goes to unlock the vault. A bullet than grazes his head. "EEK!" He jumps into Edds arms. The two then see Plank with Bubble hair and a Bubble beard and now a gun tied to him.
"The hell? The thing is alive!" Edd shouts.
"Of course I'm alive you insufferable twit! I just never had enough screen time to make it obvious." Plank said.
"OMG! He's British! That's how you know he's evil." Edd adds.
"Now feel the scorch of Diablos claw across your face!" Plank says taking aim.
"Wait, kill him he's the one that wronged you!" Eddy shouts hiding behind Edd.
"Eddy! After all of those lemon fics we've been through together you'll throw me to the danger just to buy yourself some more time to live?" Edd asks.
"... Yeah." Eddy answers.
"Actually a good idea. Aim for between his eyes Plank!" Edd yells as the two grapple and push each other in one another's way.
"Can't believe it took anyone this long to kill them." Plank says glocking his gun. Ed then walks up behind him, picks him up and snaps him in half.
"Nobody kills my Eds." Ed said tossing the two boards aside. "Can we end this chapter, please?"
Edd and Eddy look at each other as Panty and stocking let the Puffs out. "Alright."
The cohesive unit returned home and sat on the couch turning on the TV. "Nice and peaceful for a change." Eddy said.
"Yeah, real peaceful." Buttercup added.
"... It's unnaturally peaceful." Ed said.
"I'm glad you said that cause I definitely feel that too." Edd said.
"What are we sitting around for? Let's get out and go do something!" Bubbles suggested.
"YEAH!" Everyone cheered as they all got up and got out of the house to play another day. The end.
Or is it?
Elsewhere, Brick awakens. "Huh? I'm alive? Wait a minute. I can't move!" Brick, Boomer and Butch awaken to see they've been fused together like that one time the Puff were fused together.
"Hey, I got a zit. Better pop it." Butch said clamping his hands around Boomers head.
"Hey, stop it!" Boomer yelled.
"Silence!" A voice shouted out as the three looked over to see who was speaking. "I did not resurrect you three as one to bicker but to do my bidding and aid me in my scheme for revenge."
"Oh yeah, and who are you?" Brick asks.
"I am the destroyer of this world, the conqueror whose name strikes fear into whole solar systems hearts, the man with the plan, I am Zim." The Green Irken said as he walked out of the shadows on robotic legs and clenching robotic fists.
"... Never heard of ya." Brick said.
To be continued...