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The crew all filtered into the main club of Afterlife once their leave had officially started. Kelly and Kasumi intercepted Shepard on her way back to the ship and linked arms with her, insisting that she should stay in the dress until they all went back. She just rolled her eyes and reluctantly agreed, resolving to sneak out and change as soon as the opportunity presented itself. The three of them went to the bar downstairs to meet up with everyone, and Shepard saw Garrus engaged in conversation with a pretty turian girl. She tried not to let it bother her. She kept reminding herself that they were friends, that it all had been an act, and she had prepared for this eventuality. After all, he wasn't the one with a defective love life, so he was going to meet a girl sooner or later.

It's better than watching him walk away, she told herself.

She needed a drink.

The girls quickly fluttered away, probably to go see Thane. Purely speculation since they disappeared in the crowd. Shepard thought she should use this opportunity to sneak back to the ship, but she was already at the bar, and decided to get a drink first.

"I'll take a shot," she said to the batarian.

"You got it, human," he said, pouring her something blue and sliding it to her. She rose the drink to her lips but a large hand went over the top of her glass, stopping her. She froze there for a moment with some strange turian hand against her lips, and she thought about punching him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the turian said.

He took the drink out of Shepard's hand and set it back down on the bar.

"Oh," she said leaning on the bar. "And why's that?"

"This bartender doesn't particularly like humans. I found out last night he's been systematically poisoning each one that comes to his bar."

"Is that so," she said, her eyes falling on the batarian.

"That's ridiculous," the batarian protested, backing up a few steps. "How would I make any money?"

"If it's not true, then you drink it, Forvan," the turian said. "I'll even buy it for you."

"What...no... I- I can't."

Shepard sank back into a hip and her jaw set as she bit back a sneer. Forvan proceeded to high-tail it out of the bar, security hot on his heels.

"That was awful kind of you," she said to the turian, dressed all in red. "It appears I owe you one."

"Well I'm not one for debts, but in your case I might have to take you up on that." His mandibles fluttered in a grin as he held his hand out to her. "Ogrinn Deratta," he said.

"Jane Shepard," she replied, shaking his hand.

"Jane Shepard," he said. "The Jane Shepard? The human specter?"

"Agh," she rubbed the back of her neck. "That would be me."

"Well," he said, leaning back against the bar casually. "The reports certainly don't do you justice."

"Well I'm a little... out of my element currently."

"Could have fooled me," he said. "What brings you to Omega, Ma'am?"

"Supplies, mostly," she lied. "Ship can't run on charm and good looks."

"Well, if it did, you certainly wouldn't ever have to stop."

"Ohh," she said with a small laugh. "Cheesy."

"Yeah I know. What do you want from me? I don't have anything prepared."

His mandibles clicked in a grin as he laughed, the intricate white markings on his face moving, his bright green eyes studying her. He was certainly handsome, he couldn't hold a candle to Garrus, but he had his own flirt-fest going on and so she ignored the thought. Still, she was in no mood to appease the advances of some stranger, and tried to figure out a reason to excuse herself. She couldn't remember the last time she was courted in a bar. Hell she couldn't remember the last time she was on her own in a bar. Garrus and her had always stayed side by side, pretending to be together to avoid this very situation. She figured the appalled looks they had gotten on the Citadel for being the turian/human couple were not going to be seen here on Omega.

She rubbed the back of her neck. This might prove difficult.

The girl chatting up Garrus was certainly beautiful. Her skin was a bright pink and her faceplates were a stark white, with elegant orange markings. She had bright silver eyes and it was only minutes before her pheromones had made themselves apparent to Garrus. She was more or less throwing herself at him, and yet he stopped listening to whatever she was saying as soon as the stranger had approached Shepard. It was taking all his concentration to listen to what he was saying to her, but he was still only catching bits and pieces. Even without that, it was pretty obvious he was hitting on her, the way his mandibles moved, his overall body language. He wondered why Shepard hadn't gotten rid of him yet. He watched as she reached up to rub the back of her neck, which Garrus noticed she only did when she was nervous or was having a conversation that made her uncomfortable, so it was time to step in.

Stubborn human, he thought as he stood. Too kind for your own good.

Without a word to the girl who had been putting forth great pains to engage him in conversation, he crossed the 15 feet or so to where Shepard was. He put a hand on her hip from behind as he came to her side, nuzzling the side of her head with his face, keeping his eyes on the stranger.

"I thought you were going to get us drinks," he said to her.

"Oh… I uh.." Shepard cleared her throat. "Ogrinn here saved me from drinking poison from some batarian and chased him off."

"Well then," Garrus said, holding his hand out to him. "It would seem I owe you my thanks."

It was not a friendly gesture, and Ogrinn knew it, but shook Garrus' hand anyway. He made it clear he wasn't backing down.

"Not a problem. When a beautiful woman is in trouble, well. It's hard to just stand by and watch."

"Is that how you met your bond mate?" Garrus asked.

"His what?" Shepard said.

"My what?" Ogrinn said.

"Look at his hood," Garrus said. "Generally when a turian goes out looking for females, it's customary to show off your shoulder ridge, thusly exposing your unmarked throat, like so." Garrus motioned a hand to his own outfit. "The only reason you'd be wearing that hood, is to cover up your bond marks."

"Is that so," Shepard said with a smirk, sinking into a hip. "Well you learn something every day, I suppose."

Ogrinn cleared his throat. "So," he said, anxious to change the subject. "The great Commander Shepard has a thing for turians, then? I'm surprised this wasn't in a gossip column somewhere. How long have you two been together?"

Garrus and Shepard spoke at the same time, but said completely different things.

"A year and a half," Shepard said.

"Almost four years," Garrus said.

Ogrinn's mandibles clicked in a smile as Garrus and Shepard looked at each other.

"Four years?" Shepard said, smiling. "What, are you counting the two years I was dead?"

"Of course I am. You don't?"

"Why would I? It's not like we were together those two years."

Garrus lifted the hand that had been on her hip to comb her hair behind her ear.

"Weren't we?" he said.

All the humor dropped out of Shepard's face and she swallowed. Garrus suddenly felt like he had crossed some sort of line, taking the joke just a step too far. He cleared his throat and took Shepard's forearm and pulled her past him, urging her out of the conversation.

"Well," he said to Ogrinn as Shepard walked away. "It's been nice talking with you, but we'll be going."

"If you're smart," Ogrinn said under his breath. "You'd do well to mark that one soon, because until then she's fair game."

Garrus, after making sure Shepard was out of ear shot, stepped to the turian. He kept his voice low, but was so close to him that he knew his words would be easily heard.

"Shepard is not someone you claim," he said. "She is not a trophy."

And with that, he turned to follow Shepard.

"Do you want something to drink?" Garrus asked as he approached Shepard at the table.

"Whiskey. Neat."

"You got it."

Just as soon as Garrus had left, Jack toppled into the chair across from Shepard.

"I totally think I'm gonna fuck him tonight," Jack said, leaning her head drunkenly on her hand.

"Who, Garrus?" Shepard asked, more entertained than anything.

"Hell yeah, who else?"

"I thought you had a thing for Thane."

The biotic scoffed and sank back into her chair, gesturing towards the other side of the club where Thane and Samara were sitting silently together.

"He's too busy being depressing with Bluey to be any fun. OH I'm so tragic and dark and mysterious. Fuck. How am I supposed to maintain a lady-boner when he keeps talking about his dead wife?"

Shepard laughed as Garrus made his way back with something green in one hand, and her whiskey in the other.

"Where the fuck's my drink," Jack said teasingly.

"Firstly," Garrus said turning to her, putting the drinks on the table. "You weren't here when I was taking orders. Secondly, you've either had too many already, or you always sound like an idiot."

"You don't have to play hard-to-get, Gary," she said with a grin.

"Ugh, please don't call me that," he groaned, taking a seat next to Shepard.

"Even I thought that was weird, and I always give him shit," Shepard offered.

"Yeah, too much," Jack conceded. "It didn't even feel right coming out of my mouth."

"If I had a credit every time a woman said that to me," Garrus said raising his glass like a toast to himself.

They all laughed.

That was the only drink they had managed to have before chaos started breaking out. Jack, after a few more drinks, was trying to fight just about everyone that came in contact with her, which Shepard tried to regulate before Jack got effectively thrown out of the bar. Thane had to defend Mordin when the salarian had diagnosed a turian's date with a sexually transmitted disease in idle conversation, which Shepard stepped in to defuse. And on top of all that, Tali, Kelly, and Gabby all needed carrying back to the ship. Shepard took Tali, and Garrus helped with the other two, throwing each over a shoulder like sacks of potatoes, a drunken Kasumi close in tow and carrying Shepard's high heels.

"No more," Shepard said angrily. "I'm never giving shore leave ever again. Ever. Ever again."

Garrus laughed.

"Come on, Commander," he teased. "It's not that bad."

"God, they're like children. Stupid children."

"I'm not stupid," Tali mumbled, half asleep.

"I know Tali, shut up and sleep."

"Nē, Taichou," Kasumi slurred. "Garrus-san wa aishiteimasu ka?"

"Damare, Baka!" Shepard said hurriedly, as if Garrus could understand her.

"I'm pretty sure I just heard my name somewhere in that mess," Garrus said, looking down at Shepard curiously.

"Goto thinks you're sexy," Shepard lied.

"Uwaaaa?" Kasumi said with a stumble. "Uso, Taichou. Uso!"

Once everyone got put in their quarters Garrus, figuring Shepard had turned in, went to the Battery to do the same. He stopped short when he saw a very passed out, very naked, Jack in his bed.

"Well," he said, as he pulled a fast one-eighty out of the room. "That's something I'll never be able to un-see."

He shuddered.

Garrus wouldn't dare move her down into her quarters in Engineering, not while she was naked. And Jack.

"EDI," he said. "Tell Shepard I'm coming up. I think I have to crash on her couch."

"I will relay the message," she said. But before he had made it all the way to the elevator she had replied. "The Commander has requested that you, quote, 'bring booze'."

Garrus laughed and headed back to the kitchen.

"So what," Shepard said laughing, sipping her drink. "She was just spread-eagle naked?"

"No, Ugh," he shuddered again. "Spirits, no. She was face down. Lucky she has so many markings it was hard to make anything out but the sound of her snoring."

"Oh God," she said putting a hand on her head as she laughed. "I should have warned you, she had mentioned she was going to make a play for it."

"Yeah, thanks for the back up."

They laughed.

"Hey," she said with an embarrassed smile, tapping him in the leg with her foot. "Thanks for the save,"

"We haven't need to put on that show for years."

"Old tricks are the best tricks," she said with a smile.

"Well you don't need to thank me. I could tell he was giving you trouble, it's as simple as that."

"Still." She looked at her feet as she kicked them in the air idly. "I'm sorry you felt you had to trade your date to come play hero."

"Yeah well... wait, what? Date?"

She made an awkward gesture with her hand before putting it back under her.

"That pretty turian that was chatting you up in the bar. You seemed to be enjoying yourself before you had to come and save me."

"I'm a good actor then," he said with a laugh, laying his head on the back of the couch to look up at the ceiling. "Spirits, it was like trying to hold a conversation with the drywall."

"Well," she said "Good to know I'm not the only one who isn't going to get any tonight."

"I'm sure if you tried there would be plenty to volunteer."

She waved a hand dismissively.

"Nah, I'm kind of over that whole mess. I've said it before: it just complicates things."

"I know what you mean. I don't know what's wrong with me. Years ago, I didn't care if they could hold a conversation or not. Now it's just," he sighed. "Maybe I'm softening."

"Or maybe you're going through that stage Asari go through... what's it called?"

"The matron stages?"

"Yeah," she said with a snap of her fingers. "That. Maybe you're going through the male equivalent. Patron stages? Do those exist? Maybe you just need to get a bond mate and have some kids. It's the universe telling you it's time to settle down."

"Oi," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I will admit that casual sex doesn't hold the same appeal it used to, but let's not go making any decisions about my future. You'd have me picking out curtains and teething logs before the Reapers even get here."

"What?" she burst out laughing, almost spilling her drink on her bed.

"What? What's so funny?"

"What in the fruit-bat-fuck is a teething log?" she spat out between bursts of laughter.

Garrus, grinning at the sight of her laughing so hard, raised his hands and made his palms face each other about a foot apart. "It's a piece of wood for infants. You know, you give it to them when their fangs start coming in so they have something to chew on and suss out the pain."

"Oh god," she said, trying to catch her breath. "That sounds like something you give a dog when they're puppies."

"Well that's easy for you to say, you humans with your flat teeth. What do you know?"

"We give our infants pacifiers."

"You call it a pacifier? Hah!"

"Hey, shut up, it makes perfect sense! It's pacifies the babies incessant crying! They're made of rubber and they suck or chew on it when they're teething."

"Yeeeeahh. Our infants first set of fangs would tear through a piece of rubber like it was meat."

"Well then it's a good thing your kind don't breast feed."

"Yeah, I suppose that's a good point."

After they had both finally stopped, Shepard wiped a tear from her eye and tilted her head to the side, studying his face.

"Hey," she said pointing to the side of her own face to illustrate. "Your bandage is coming off."

He put his hand to his face and patted around. Sure enough, the front of it had started peeling back. "Well that can't be good," he said.

"Doesn't that mean it's time to come off?"

"I don't know I've never had a face bandage before."

"Then how'd you get that ugly?"

"Ha-ha," he said standing. "I'm taking a look in your mirror."

She tried to see in but he had disappeared around the corner.

"Is it still all bloody and wound-y?"

"Wound-y?" he teased from the bathroom. "Is that a medical term?"

"Yeah cuz I went to fucking medical school."

He laughed.

"No. I suppose you experts would call it Scar-y."

"God, you're a dick. Do you need me to wake up Chakwas, so you can go get it re-bandaged?"

"No I think it's good," he said as he came out, rubbing that side of his face. "It's weird. I've gotten so used to having it I feel naked."

"New visor, new face. You're a whole new man, Garrus Vakarian," she said as he took his seat next to her on the bed again.

"Yeah great. I liked the old me just fine."

"Jesus," she said finally getting a good look at it. She put her hand on his face and turned his head so she could see it in the light. The bright pink of the scar lit up the side of his face, its edges like that of a starburst. The tendrils went in every direction, some through the edges of his markings, some dipping across his throat. "That's quite a scar you've got on you now."

"Wrex will be so proud of me," he said with a laugh.

She moved her hand to run the pads of her fingers along the length of the bright pink mark, a severity coming over her face. The silence hung in the air, and Garrus swallowed. The touch was cool on his face and his mandibles clicked unconsciously.

"This… Does it still hurt?" she asked softly, sounding more concerned than she ought for a scar that was almost 6 months old.

"No," was all he said, studying her face.

She cleared her throat, suddenly very awkward in the situation. She pulled her hand away and laughed, picking her drink back up.

"Well good to know you'll at least be able to get a krogan girl now," she teased, kicking back the rest of her drink.

"Oh good," Garrus said, leaning onto his elbow on the bed. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

She laughed nervously, before pouring herself another drink.

"Hey," he said.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking about what you said the other night. About totally giving up on relationships and whatever."

"Oi," She said, leaning back on her elbow. "Why? We really don't need a post-mortem of that conversation."

"You act like you don't even want to try."

"Maybe I don't. I mean what's the point in worrying about it now, right? We're all probably gonna die anyway." She laughed and looked down into her glass. "I mean, I guess I've always wondered what it felt like to have someone look you in the eyes and promise you forever. But, you know. What's the point in dreaming about that now?"

"I guess that's a good point, what with the Reapers coming to harvest us all soon."

They laughed again and Shepard laid her head down on the bed, still holding a drink in her hand.

"Still," Garrus said after a long moment of silence. "I don't think you should give up."

She turned her head to look at him with an entertained smirk.

"Why not?"

"Well, I was raised to believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I'm pretty sure humans are familiar with the idea of soul-mates. Well we take that a little more literally than humans, apparently. But that doesn't mean it's not true. Just because you haven't met him yet, doesn't mean he's not out there."

"Why, who would have thought that Archangel, the dark angel of Omega, would be rolling over and showing me his soft little underbelly."

"Shut up," he snapped, good-naturedly. "I'm serious."

"Why are you pressing this?"

"Because as much as I hate him, Krios was right. We all want to see you made happy." He thought then of the drell and the way his eyes lingered on Shepard. He cringed. " Just… stick to your own species."

Shepard frowned and looked back at the ceiling, fingering her drink.

"Yeah…" she said.

Garrus sighed. She must really care for that green son-of-a-bitch if that was all it took to make her upset. He wondered, almost idly, if that was really what she wanted.

"You know," he said. "I heard somewhere that drell make humans hallucinate after contact."

"And by 'heard' of course you mean that you looked it up."

"I did no such thing," he lied with a smile. "It was simply a rumor I heard once."

"God," she said, beaming a grin as she sat up. "What is it like to be so profoundly full of shit?"