The second part of Icefang's nine lives ceremony
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"You see, I never did kill Redwhisker," mewed Needleclaw mournfully. His shoulders sagged. "Really, I never harmed a hair on his pelt. But for some reason, they thought it was my fault." He shrugged, and the painful innocence that layered his soft words made the hair on Icefang's pelt stand up. Though he said nothing more, Icefang could only imagine what had come next for the poor soul.
"Thank you, Needleclaw," meowed Skyheart. "Next."
The second cat in the semicircle stepped forward as Needleclaw retreated, his eyes downcast. This star-furred warrior was a tortoiseshell she-cat, her vibrant green eyes quickly scanning up and down Icefang's frame as she began to speak.
"I was like you once," she began, her voice louder and sharper than Needleclaw's. Icefang felt a prickle of annoyance at her words, but the icy hold on her mind didn't allow anything more. "My name is…" she paused, as if considering, and then meowed slowly, "Brindlefeather. I thought I would be the greatest warrior my Clan had ever seen. But they saw through me. They put an end to it."
She seemed suddenly crestfallen as she backed away again, the light fading from her gaze. Icefang shivered violently.
Next was a tall, spindly gray tom who looked eerily like Cinderstar. For a moment Icefang almost felt panic, but all she could do was a make strangled gasping sound, the feeling instantly deadened by the weird cold sensation paralyzing her body. Soon she realized the warrior was not Cinderstar, but the resemblance set her on edge nonetheless.
"I am Cedarstar," meowed the tom gravely, his eyes never meeting Icefang's. "I was betrayed by my own deputy. My own daughter, nonetheless. My Sweetpoppy." His face crumpled as he hastily turned away, and Icefang had a vague urge to run forward and comfort him.
The fourth cat was odd-looking, tiny and pale, with limp white fur and bulbous, watery yellow eyes. He paced forward with a lopsided gait, favoring his left foreleg and keeping the other off the ground. Icefang studied it for a moment, and felt an immediate sense of revulsion when she realized the warrior's leg ended in a mangled stump. Didn't StarClan fix that kind of thing, when a warrior died? It hardly seemed fair to have to walk around these lush green fields with a disfigured limb.
"I was called Missingfoot," mewed the pale tom, rather unnecessarily. "My own mother left me out in the snow to die, but I was rescued by a ThunderClan queen." He quivered for a moment, and his eyes closed, and then he opened them again and finished quickly: "She was the only who ever loved me. When she was killed by a ShadowClan warrior, I tried to avenge her death."
Even without adding the gruesome end to his tale, Icefang could imagine it vividly in her mind's eye – this ugly, lopsided creature standing up to a patrol of stocky ShadowClan warriors. Such a conflict could only have had one outcome.
To Icefang's surprise, the fifth and six cats in the semicircle stepped forward as one. They were nearly identical, black- and white-patched she-cats with bright yellow eyes, both stone-faced and tense.
"My name is Darkwing, and this is my sister Palefeather," introduced the she-cat on the left, her voice strong and level. Icefang had to smother a snort as she recognized the obvious similarities of their names, but it was difficult to actually produce a laugh, seeing as how she didn't really feel like laughing.
Neither Darkwing nor Palefeather seemed to register Icefang's cynicism, and Darkwing continued indifferently with her speech.
"We were born rogues, and raised as warriors," Darkwing meowed, her tone eerily monotonous. Even her eyes didn't seem to move as she spoke. Palefeather remained equally as still, not even twitching her tail. "When the medicine cat recited an ominous prophecy that he believed concerned my sister and I-" she waved her tail at Palefeather, who blinked, "our leader had us both discreetly taken care of, to save his Clan from imminent destruction."
Icefang was frowning at the phrase 'taken care of' when Darkwing's bright gaze suddenly focused intently on her face. Squirming, Icefang tried to look away, but her head was frozen in place. "Apparently," Darkwing hissed, the sudden venom in her voice surprising, "the medicine cat was just having a bit of fun. He didn't like outsiders."
Darkwing whipped around and returned to her place in line, her shoulders shaking almost imperceptibly as rage presumably boiled within her. Her sister Palefeather remained silent and practically motionless as she turned and settled into a crouch once more. Icefang wondered if she even had the power to speak at all.
Number seven was blissfully normal looking, and when the tall blue-gray tom began to speak, Icefang almost felt happy to listen to the regular rise and fall of his casual tone.
"I'm Streamtail," he introduced in a smooth, low voice. "I was a good warrior." He shrugged and paused for so long that Icefang wondered if that was it. But then he continued, a little more softly, and a look of resigned disappointment took over his pleasant features. "I sure thought I had everything under control," he meowed with a sigh. "I was deputy, I had talent, I was young, and most of all, the Clan loved me." He said this with the slightest of smiles. "It was good, until everything started to go to my head.
"I had plans, but one little slip-up put it all to an end. I thought I'd just creep up and give the old 'star a spook, maybe get his heart racing. He was on his last legs, that white-furred mousebrain. Guess I just underestimated the power of real Clan loyalty." He shrugged again and made his way back to the circle.
Icefang stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to make of that last speech. Obviously these cats were trying to teach her some sort of lesson, probably to dissuade her from committing any more of her so-called 'crimes'. But so far, all she felt she'd gathered from the introductions was that StarClan was where miserable failures were forced to wile away their days pondering what went wrong. I wouldn't make the same mistakes that these fools did, she argued with herself.
The eighth cat was as nondescript as Streamtail had been, but watching him stride forward from the semicircle of starry warriors, Icefang felt a sudden, powerful draw toward the black-furred tom. He was broad-shouldered and muscles rippled beneath his sleek pelt, shiny like that of a RiverClan warrior. His eyes were bright yellow and sharp as they met hers.
"My name is Blackstar," he meowed, his voice strong. He and Skyheart exchanged a meaningful glance before he continued. "I was a powerful warrior, and a brilliant leader. I led my Clan into more battles than I can even remember, and we were prosperous for all the moons that I held power.
"When I died, too old and feeble to fight off a bout of fever, I thought I was leaving my Clan safe and secure in their position, with more warriors, kits, and territory than any other Clan. But I had overlooked something vital, something I had been too blind to realize the importance of."
He ended his speech there, and Icefang had to bite back the urge to ask him what it was. His words made it sound exactly as he had described it – the most important aspect of being Clan leader. Icefang found herself fiercely eager to learn it.
Finally, Skyheart made his way forward. He sat before Icefang and gazed at her for a long moment before introducing himself. "I am Skyheart. Like you, I was once a warrior of ThunderClan."
Icefang had to swallow more scathing words. I'm not just any old warrior, she scoffed. I'm about to become leader, if you would all just hurry on with it. She didn't like it how they were all comparing themselves to her. She was nothing like this sad group of lost souls.
"I won't go into the gory details of how my life was ended," Skyheart mewed gravely, "but I would like to impart one thing to you. As a kit, as an apprentice, and as a warrior, I cared nothing for my Clan. I thought that they were weak, and I was strong, and that without me they would be nothing." He cocked his head and lashed his tail. "But after everything was over, I had learned one thing: a warrior is nothing without is Clan.
"Certainly a Clan is made up of cats," he continued. "And there would have been no ThunderClan without its queens, kits, warriors, elders… and leader." He eyed her speculatively. "But it is the Clan who makes the cat, and not the other way around."
Icefang hadn't realized it, but while Skyheart had been talking the icy feeling binding her muscles and her emotions had faded. Why StarClan had paralyzed her in the first place was a mystery, but all Icefang cared about now was the sudden, fiery rage building in its place.
"Have you all forgotten," Icefang spat suddenly, startling Skyheart as he rose to pad back into the line. "That I'm not Clanborn?"
There was a long and uncomfortable silence. Blackstar and Skyheart watched her carefully, while the others either stared at the ground shuffling their paws or turned to whisper to one another.
"If the Clan makes the cat," Icefang growled to Skyheart, fury making her lips curl, "then what does that make me?"
Streamtail spoke up then, his voice even despite the crackling tension in the air. "You're as much a ThunderClan cat as any of your denmates, Icefang," he reasoned.
"How would you know?" she hissed, baring her sharp fangs in his face. The gray tom gazed placidly back at her.
"Do you think we haven't been watching you this whole time?" he mewed, arching his brow and flicking his ears. "You're no stranger to us, Icefang."
Simmering, Icefang lashed her tail and backed away reluctantly. There was no use starting a fight with any of these cats, no matter how furious she was with their lack of action.
"Can't we just get this over with?" she growled, kneading the soft grass underneath her paws.
Blackstar and Skyheart both shrugged, and Skyheart stuck out his neck to nod to Needleclaw, the first in the line. The small tom was shivering, crouched against the grass, but he seemed to steel himself as Skyheart motioned him forward. His wide eyes met Icefang's as he approached, and she too shuddered when he opened his mouth and spoke up in his wavering, soft voice.
"Icefang, I have joined this circle in order to grant you one of the nine lives of a leader. With my power as a warrior of StarClan, I give you the gift of justice, so that you may make wise and fair decisions on behalf of your Clan."
Needleclaw leaned forward, and Icefang froze as he rested his nose lightly on her forehead.
She was unprepared for the blaze of pain that exploded like a lightning flash within her, parting her lips in a silent wail. When the fire died a moment later, Icefang took a heaving breath, swaying from side to side.
She didn't have a chance to question Skyheart, as Brindlefeather had already stepped forward and was facing Icefang with her head held high. The tortoiseshell she-cat began to speak in a musical voice.
"I give you the gift of patience and humility," murmured Brindlefeather, bending forward to touch Icefang's forehead. "So that you will see clearly in times of crisis, and not make rash decisions that will put your Clan in danger."
Though Icefang was prepared for the pain this time, it still nearly managed to knock her off her feet. When it was over, and Icefang blinked to clear her head, Brindlefeather had gone and Cedarstar had taken her place.
"With this life I give you the gift of forgiveness," Cedarstar meowed, his words soft and gentle. A wave of calm swept over Icefang as he continued to speak. "A leader must always be able to forgive." Then his muzzle brushed between her ears, and Icefang was blinded again. Blood rushed loudly through her ears as she fought to keep on her feet, her bones shrieking in protest.
"With this life," continued another voice, barely giving Icefang time to open her eyes and gain recognition of Missingfoot, "I give you the gift of compassion and love. I hope that you can use it well in your future."
More pain seared through her, and when it was over Icefang found herself gasping for breath.
"Wait!" she panted, squeezing her eyes shut as she recovered from the last wave. "Give me a minute!" she hissed.
When she looked up, Skyheart and Blackstar were both watching her closely, their expressions unreadable.
"Are you strong enough to continue the ceremony?" Skyheart asked, a hint of contempt underlying his tone.
"I am," Icefang replied frostily. She turned to face Darkwing and braced herself.
"With this life," meowed the black and white warrior, "I give you the gift of stamina, so that you may withstand even the most grueling ordeals in defense of your Clan."
Icefang gritted her teeth and flinched as Darkwing's nose touched her forehead, expecting torture, but instead she felt the briefest twinge in her chest, and she felt suddenly winded as though she'd been running for moons. Grateful, Icefang swallowed another long breath and prepared herself once more for Palefeather's advance.
Darkwing's identical sister proved she could speak when she opened her mouth and pronounced, loudly, "With this, your sixth life, I give you the gift of mentoring." Her voice was brazen and powerful, shaking through Icefang's bones like a clap of thunder. "Because I wish that someone had been there to guide me and stand up for me when I was young."
Icefang managed not to gasp or stagger as Palefeather touched her, gripping the earth with her claws and waiting as the fire faded from her veins.
"With your seventh life," Streamtail meowed in a low voice after giving her time to recover, "I give you the gift of true loyalty. This understanding will guide you even beyond the reach of the warrior code."
When Blackstar approached, after allowing Icefang a moment to catch her breath, she smoothed her pelt with a swipe of her tongue and gazed at him with rapt attention. Here was her chance to hear what he had meant about the most important thing a leader could know about his or her Clan.
"With this life, I give you the gift of solicitude, so that you may care for and understand every cat who lives and breathes by your word, and depends on you for food, warmth, and stability. With this life you may feel the fierce desire of a mother who protects her kits, or a warrior who protects a wounded friend, or a medicine cat who fights to save an ailing elder. I grant you this life so that you will be attentive to every pair of paws and fight to preserve every heart."
The ferocity of the flames that took hold of Icefang after Blackstar's nose brushed her brow stunned her even as she succumbed to them. She had expected the same, eyes-watering pain from before, but this was something else entirely. Instead of just a stabbing pain, Icefang felt an unbearable ache in her chest, so hot that she could practically feel it melting through the cold stone walls that she had spent so long building around her self. It roared and pounded, dragging her long-buried conscience to the surface and thrashing it, consuming it. She writhed with the torment of it, unable to withhold a high, keening wail that broke through her gritted teeth as the power of the eighth life blasted through her.
Finally it subsided, leaving Icefang sprawled in the cool grass. When she blinked her eyes open, Blackstar was back in line, staring at her coolly as though unaware of her agony. Skyheart, seeing that she was awake, bounded forward and nudged her flank.
"We're almost through," he meowed gently, guiding her to her feet. "Persevere."
Icefang ran a tongue around her muzzle, tasting acid, and reluctantly stayed quiet as Skyheart presented her ninth life.
"With your last life," he mewed somberly, "I give you the gift of courage and faith. Courage to race blindly into battle with no fear for your own life but only for the lives of your Clanmates. Faith in your warrior ancestors, and, most importantly, faith in yourself. It is faith that guides us, Icefang," he meowed, leaning forward. "In more ways than one."
Blackness swallowed her for a moment as Icefang fought against yet another onset of flames. It was as though everything inside her, all of her walls, all of her plans, all of her worries and fears and ambitions had been reduced to cinders, and as she opened her eyes again to face the circle of nine, star-furred warriors, she felt as unburdened and weightless as a newborn kit, vulnerable, pure.
"You may have been born outside of the Clan," murmured the cats, their voices blending into one perfect harmony, neither gentle nor fierce, but with a power that resonated through the earth and through Icefang's entire frame, "but you have proven yourself to be worthy of your warrior name. StarClan is aware of the blood on your paws, and of the many misdeeds to your name, but we have not judged you yet. Whether or not you will join us in the end is up to you. For now, we have done what we can to set your paws on the right path.
"From now on, Icefang, warrior of ThunderClan, you shall be known as Icestar. May you guide ThunderClan with the strength and honor that it deserves."
She awoke feeling rested, lifted her head from the stone, and got to her paws. The moonlight had faded from the chamber, leaving her alone in the shadows. Her breath was the only sound, echoing off the walls.
She paused, for a moment, at the mouth of the tunnel, wondering.
In the darkness she couldn't be sure, but it felt as though something had change. Before the dream there had been a sense of doubt. She hadn't noticed it then, cloaking it as she had all of her other fears and insecurities. But it had been there, along with all the other things, weighing her down, clouding her vision, muffling the sounds.
Now, in the chilling solitude of the cave, she realized that this doubt had disappeared. Her eyes, though blind, felt sharper, brighter. The wind trickling past brought new scents, more fresh than before. Her whiskers, brushing along the stone, were more sensitive. Her feet, though tingling from the cold, felt lighter and faster, and her claws felt stronger.
Most importantly, even in the frigid damp of the depths of the cave, she felt warm.
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SPECIAL NOTE: Okay… well, I suppose this doesn't really matter, but I need to say it anyway. I was reminded to post an updated allegiances list, so I decided to do a little bit of extra revision to make sure it was spick and span. As I've been going along I've been trying to fit the allegiances into the first book of the Warriors series, for reasons that will stay secret until the end of this fic. However, I did a little bit more digging today and realized, of course, that the Erins came out with the book Bluestar's Prophecy recently. Bluestar's Prophecy is the story of the cats that come before Firestar and his gang. Unfortunately, I was creating my own segue into Firestar's story, so the allegiances, obviously, conflicted. I pondered this issue for a while, looking for any way to slip in the Bluestar's Prophecy characters so that my story could stay true to historical form. But in order to really make it work I would have to totally change the brilliant ending to Blind Faith. Since I'm sure no one wants that to happen, I gave up. Therefore, I'd like to ask all of you to pretend that, when I do put up the updated allegiances, Bluestar's Prophecy never existed. Thank you :)