A/N - Sorry for the long delay guys. I've just moved house and it took me a record 5 weeks to do it! I know i'm slow but even I know that's bad lol. This is the longest chapter yet I think, mostly because it came straight from my notebook, there's been barely any editing but I wanted to get at least something up for you guys. It was also the hardest to type up because we got the news that my aunt is in hospital in critical condition yesterday. So if any of you guys are the praying type, please say one for her to pull through.
Thanks again for the amazing support you people really are awesome, I know I'm behind in replying to my reviews but I appreciate every single one and I will get caught up as soon as I can. Anyway, on with the story. Rachel is a melodramatic cow in this chap cause, well, she is in the show. I LOVE Elizabeth but boy did they waste her talent writing that bitch the way they did. (For anyone under stress, channeling your inner-Monroe works wonders for making you feel better btw) And i'm shutting up now :)
Fuck wasn't a word that Charlie had ever used until recently. She had been raised better than that. Her parents may have destroyed the world - but nobody could ever accuse them of not being polite about it.
When she was 6, Charlie had accidentally learned the word 'bitch' from one of her friends older siblings. She only got to say it once out loud before her mother overheard and went crazy at her. Something about Rachel Matheson had always been crazy, now that she thought about it. But nuts or not - she had taught her children well - about swear words at least. She would probably have another Tower-like meltdown if she ever heard the list of forbidden nasty words her daughter had begun using, although mostly only in her head.
Charlie blamed Monroe entirely. Ever since the day his men had found her family her life had been chaos. The reasons to have to think the word 'fuck' just kept on coming and they all tended to relate to him for one reason or another. In every form the word could be used. it led her directly to Monroe. The sexual implications of it were all about him. After all, he was the only man she had ever been with that really knew how to do it right. Or, you know, her. And then there was the 'fuck' that meant she was in trouble, real trouble, which 99.9% of the time tended to involve him. If he wasn't getting her into trouble he was charging in to get her out of it.
Except for the rare occasions when she was in deep shit and he was nowhere to be seen. Like right now. The bastard. Which was a 'fuck' all of its own that translated roughly to 'I wish Monroe was here to get me out of this one.'
Neville had not only alluded to having seen her make out with Monroe - but he still had his gun pointed at her face. Charlie wasn't what anyone could describe as vain - but still, nobody wants a bullet sized hole in their face... Although maybe that would be preferable to being around to hear Neville tell Uncle Miles that she'd had his best friend's tongue in her mouth.
At some point in this farce she had found herself in, he found it expedient to start talking again.
"Here's what's going to happen, I am going to use you to draw out Monroe and you are going to co-operate or I will put a bullet in your brain."
Yeah. Cause that was going to happen. She kept her gaze level on him. "What do you want with Monroe?"
Neville smirked at her, probably catching the tone of her voice, the coolness that was trying hard to hide the worry underneath.
"I'm going to trade him for my wife. The patriots get him and they'll give Julia back to me."
She couldn't help herself, she snorted, incredulous. This guy was supposed to be smart. "You're trusting the patriots? Really? They're putting Typhus into oranges to slaughter people and you think you can trust them?"
If he knew what she was talking about he ignored it in favor of goading her instead.
"You know, I can't say I was expecting to find you screwing Monroe of all people. I'd have thought you had better taste. Fine young piece of ass like yours is wasted on a crazy old dictator." In his eyes there was a hint of a leer, but the rest of his expression was pure dislike. "Jason will finally forget all about you when he finds out you're that crazy assholes slut now, thank God."
"Fuck you." She bit out in response. Using it to defend him was a new take on the word, but still about Monroe. Maybe she was just obsessed with him. And being called a slut didn't help her mood. But maybe there was something in her mother's insistent politeness after all, cause before she could say anything else the butt of his pistol slammed into her head and the world went black.
Rachel's stood amidst the trees, her mind frozen in shock. The scene she had just witnessed was replaying over and over in her mind. Her daughter. And Bass. Together.
His hands and his mouth all over her... And she had let him. The tender look on his face as he had touched Charlie hadn't softened her feelings about it at all. If anything it made the whole sick thing worse. Clearly this wasn't their first kiss. Bass had had love written all over his face and Charlie had looked up at him like he hung the moon.
How could she do that? The man was poison. He was the reason that Danny was gone. Ben too. Rachel wondered how long her daughter had been letting that monster screw her. Probably since before they came back to Willoughby. At least she knew now why Charlie had been so quick to bring him back with her and why she had been so upset when she'd believed he was about to die. Damn her. The last child she had left had betrayed her family for Sebastian Monroe.
As she watched her remaining child have a gun shoved in her face there wasn't a single emotion showing on her own. When Tom Neville pistol whipped Charlie and dragged her off with him she didn't react at all - merely watched impassively. For a few short moments the world was still and Rachel was content that Bass couldn't get his filthy hands on her traitor daughter if she was with Neville being punished for her sins...
And then she snapped out of it.
Ever since she had stumbled upon the two of them she had felt like she was in a waking nightmare. Time had slowed down and everything had been dreamlike and unreal. But reality hit her like a hard slap to the face and she was jolted back to herself.
Horrified and appalled - at herself even more than Neville, she mumbled out her daughters name and bolted after her. It didn't take long to catch up to them. Charlie was unconscious still, hanging limply over his shoulder. His gun, she could see, was tucked into his belt and she knew that she had to move fast before he became aware of her.
But as she pulled her own gun free and made to sneak up on Neville, another flash of Charlie and Bass together came to her and the anger returned. Even as she raised her arm she wasn't sure who she was going to end up aiming at.
Bass was sitting on the porch steps waiting for Charlie to get back. This thing between them was crazy, completely insane - more so than anything crazy he had done before. But there was no denying that it was right. She made him feel things he had only read about in books. And the way she had kissed him just now, the way she held onto him... that wasn't just lust she was feeling. He had realized that whatever he was feeling for the Matheson girl was mutual.
Charlie was tough, and unique and brave and she could put on a hell of a mask when she wanted - but the confusion and longing, along with the vulnerability in her gaze had been plain to see. To preserve his own sanity he had forced himself to walk away from her before he did - or said something stupid. She wasn't ready for the strength of his feelings and he wasn't about to scare her away now that he had a shot.
Miles had all but spelled out for him that she cared about him - and looking back over her actions toward him recently he didn't know how he had missed it. Bass figured he hadn't bothered to look for anything other than hatred from her because, well, everyone hated him. But looking back now over every interaction they'd ever had he could see a little more clearly. Whatever was going on between them was not just sex for either of them.
It was time for them to have a talk. One way or another they were going to settle this. Either that, or he'd have to kill her.
Hopefully the day would end with him driving her into his mattress and refusing to let her go back to her own bed afterwards. A slow smile spread across his face at the thought of it.
And then he heard the loud echo of a gunshot and his blood froze. Miles was out the door in the time it took him to spring to his feet.
"What the hell was that?" Miles pulled out his gun and looked to Bass, who was staring wide-eyed out at the woods. "Charlie..." Before Miles could blink, Bass had sprinted off the direction Charlie had gone earlier. Fear tightened his chest as he took off after him.
It didn't take them long to find her. She was pale as a ghost, lying on the ground with her head cradled in Rachel's hands.
"I'm so sorry baby. Please, please wake up Charlie please." She was begging, tears tracking over her cheeks. But it was her hands that drew Bass' attention. Because they were covered in blood. He and Miles moved forward blindly. He saw out of the corner of his eye the body of a man lying face down in the dirt just to the side of the two women, but his gaze had locked on her face. She looked too white. Too still. 'Please, no... not her.'
Vaguely he registered more speaking, probably from Miles but he didn't care, the only lips he wanted to see moving were hers. Without thinking, he moved over and yanked Charlie out of her mother's arms and into his. Holding her tightly against him with one arm, he pressed the fingers of his free hand against her neck, feeling for a pulse. Panic crushed him as he didn't find one. "Charlie please, open your eyes for me. Come on, please be okay."
"Bass." he looked up and met Miles' frozen gaze. Seeing the terror that must be reflected in his own eyes, he finally snapped. His best friend was silently begging him with his eyes to tell him that his niece was okay, that she wasn't dead. Rachel was on her knees next to them, staring ahead. silent tears pouring over her cheeks.
Bass gripped Charlie against his chest - almost daring one of the two people with them to try and take her away. "Charlotte, wake up now. Please." He couldn't lose her now. If he lost her now there wouldn't be any saving him this time. She had reached in and forced her way into his heart, long before he'd even realized what it was he felt. Nobody, nobody got under his skin. Yet Charlie had and if she was dead then he didn't want to be saved. He mumbled her name a few more times before his voice broke.
Miles had dropped down beside them and grabbed his niece's hand. "Come on kid, don't do this again. Wake up for me. You're making Bass cry and you're missing it." The desperation in his voice was evident. His fingers slipped round to her wrist, "She has a pulse, I feel it." he said with relief.
"I'm so sorry. Oh please, oh Charlie..." Rachel suddenly burst out. "Oh God what have I done? What have I done?"
Bass ignored her completely, his fingers were tracing over Charlie's face, silently he was begging her to wake up. Miles looked over his shoulder and reached out a hand to Rachel, only to watch helplessly as she scooted back away from them. "Rachel," he asked, "what the hell happened?"
"Oh God Miles... he took her. He came and he hit her and took her away and it's all my fault. I let him take my baby away... I just watched him hurt her and I didn't do anything." Miles was staring at her, open-mouthed as she continued, "I followed but I was too late. He heard me and he dropped her and my baby, my poor baby she hit her head and I killed him but I was too late and now she won't open her eyes.. She's mad at me but she has to open her eyes please..."
There was a second of stunned silence where Miles stared at her in horror. She had let Tom Neville take Charlie and had done nothing to stop it? Before he could come up with something to say that didn't sound like a death threat, Bass had managed to pick up on what she was saying.
"You did what?" His voice was terrifyingly steady. Miles turned to look at him and saw that General Monroe had suddenly returned. The tender way that he was holding on to Charlie was in total contrast to the ice cold look on his face. He knew that expression well. If it hadn't been for his niece in his arms, Bass' fingers would already be closing around Rachel's throat. Miles wasn't sure he would've stopped him. But they needed to get Charlie back to the safe house as soon as possible. Rachel's own actions seemed to have stunned her into meekness, because she was staring at the ground instead of replying.
"Bass, we need to get her to Gene. Now." His best friend didn't seem to hear him, his eyes were still burning holes into the side of Rachel's head.
"Bass!" Miles moved to take Charlie from him. As he tried to slide his arms underneath her Bass finally broke his glare and pulled her against him. Without a word or a glance at either of them, he stood with her in his arms and turned towards the safe house, leaving Miles and Rachel in his wake.
Two days later Miles talked himself into leaving Charlie's bedside to go find Rachel. He left Bass in his spot beside her, talking to no one, her hand clasped between his. His reaction to her being hurt had him stumped. She was the thing that mattered most to him without doubt, and yet... It looked like she'd had the effect he had prayed for on his best friend. He remembered his own reaction the first time he had seen her get really hurt and it had hit him like a ton of bricks. Bass appeared to be experiencing the same thing he had. Fate though, was a bastard when it wanted to be. Yes, Charlie had come to mean something to the man who seemed to care for nothing, but all that meant right now was that Monroe was about to lose it completely all over again. If she didn't wake up Miles was probably going to lose both of them.
He had never been as angry with Rachel as he was now. How could she stand by and watch Neville hurt her daughter? What possible excuse could there be? It probably wasn't a great idea to seek her out now but he had to do something while they waited to see if Charlie would wake on her own. Gene had said it was all they could do and it was killing him. His girl was a fighter, nobody knew better than him how strong and resilient she was, but, like the last time she was hurt, fear had turned his insides to ice. Positivity had never been his strong point, but the alternative was unthinkable. They could not lose Charlie.
As he made his way downstairs he heard voices coming from outside.
"Rachel what the hell are you thinking? That is your daughter - that is Charlie laying up there hurt. Don't you think you should be with her right now?" Aaron rarely spoke with anger in his voice, but Miles could hear the bite in his tone.
"I can't Aaron. I did this to her. I can't go in there right now. Not while he is in there."
Miles pushed open the back door to find Rachel propped against the house with Aaron kneeling down in front of her. He looked up at the sound of Miles approaching. "What happened?" he asked him, "Can somebody please explain this to me?"
He shrugged, looking down at them. "You're asking the wrong person. For some unknown reason, Rachel decided to let Tom Neville get away with her daughter. Unluckily for Charlie, she changed her mind in time to catch up and watch Neville drop her on top of some pretty hard ground. Believe me Aaron, I would love to hear an explan-"
"She was with Bass!" Rachel suddenly burst out, "he was touching her - he- he- he kissed her. And she let him! Charlie let him kiss her! She kissed him back! I was so angry with her..."
The shock and anger on both men's faces seemed to spur her on, "I was upset, I didn't mean to - Danny... he killed Danny..."
"No."
Rachel blinked in surprise at the harshness in Aaron's tone as he cut her off and stood away like she had burned him. He glared down at her. "No.. You do not get to use Danny as an excuse to hurt that girl anymore. She is your daughter Rachel, your only living child... And yeah, kissing Monroe? I can see how that would be all kinds of weird to witness but to let Neville get his hands on her out of spite? You did this to her." Rachel flinched as Aaron raved at her, "If she dies - you did it and if she does I'd advise you to run because if Monroe doesn't kill you for it I will." With that, he abruptly brushed past Miles and went inside.
Miles stood frozen as she started to cry. Half of him was in shock from hearing her say that she'd caught Charlie kissing Bass. The other half agreed completely with everything Pitman had just said.
As he watched the woman he'd loved for over half his life sob, he knew he should try to comfort her, but couldn't will himself to touch her. Miles was afraid of what he might do if he did. Either he would forgive her outright, which she didn't deserve, or he would kill her. And the scary thing was - he didn't know which. Anyone else who hurt Charlie would already be dead. Sighing heavily, he slid to the ground, keeping his distance yet remaining close by in case she got another urge to hurt her daughter. 'Come on kid, please. I need you to wake up.'
Bass barely looked up as the door to Charlie's bedroom opened and Aaron came in. The man looked so defeated as he held onto her that Aaron felt a swell of pity rise in him. "So..." he said quietly, "you and Charlie huh?"
Monroe said nothing.
"Gotta admit, I did and I didn't see that one coming." He was talking just to fill the silence, babbling really without expecting a reply, so he was surprised to hear a small chuckle erupt from the man beside him.
"Did and didn't? Staypuff I've never known you to make sense, but even for you that's a tough one."
Aaron gave a shaky laugh of his own. "I just mean - well I had kinda figured that Charlie didn't hate you... Maybe that she even cared a little. I know that she trusts you. But, man... kissing? You guys kiss now? And in front of Rachel?"
He was sorry as soon as he said it because Monroe's face darkened immediately. "She let this happen to her because she saw us kiss?" Monroe made to stand up and Aaron shot out an arm to stop him, looking incredibly nervous about doing it.
"Hey, man, I know. I know, okay? It's no excuse for what she did I just told her so. And I told her that if, if, you know" he couldn't say the words again, "if anything happens that I'd kill her myself if you didn't." Aaron watched as the spark of animation that had briefly flared on Monroe's face died. He sank back down onto his chair and stared down at Charlie's sleeping face. He had seen a ton of crazy stuff since the blackout, but this ranked number one out of all of it. Monroe looked like a broken man.
"I promised Miles I wouldn't let any harm come to her and on the same fucking day she gets hurt because of me." He suddenly spat out. Aaron flinched at the defeated tone in his voice.
"Charlie will be okay." His eyes were filling up, the emotion in his words was making them difficult to get out. "She's the strongest person I know. Trust me, if anybody can make it she can. She's going to be fine." Aaron was trying to convince himself as well as Monroe. Ever since they had packed up, him and Charlie, and left their little village - she had been the heart and soul of their group. None of the losses or new arrivals had changed that. And aside from the enormous personal loss he would face if she died, he also knew that it would spell the end of their little group of fighters. There would be deaths and they would split irreparably. As he watched Monroe watch over her, he was shocked to find he already knew which side he would be on if it came to it.
The door opened and he turned, ready to march Rachel right back out if it was her. But it was just Connor. He had been surprisingly quiet since Charlie had gotten hurt. Just wandered around the place not saying much, helping Gene out and occasionally sitting here with his dad. Now he entered the room with a small smile on his face. "Any change?"
His father hadn't even looked up so Aaron shook his head. Connor nodded, his face falling slightly. "You know," he said quietly, eyes on the unconscious girl, "that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Gene said it's a good sign that she's breathing on her own and everything... He said to keep talking to her to-"
"Like you ever shut up, Junior." Came a weak voice from the bed.
Three sets of astonished eyes turned to stare at her, but the girl on the bed seemed to only have eyes for Monroe. She was half out of it, looking sleepily up at him. "My head hurts." She told him, blinking in confusion as he let out a bark of relieved laughter.
"You hit your head." He told her, his voice shaky and gruff.
Charlie frowned, "You disappeared... and Neville, he... Where were you?"
The guilt written on his face was unmistakable. It hit Bass like a punch to the stomach. He opened his mouth to tell her that he was sorry, that it was his fault she got hurt in the first place and that he would never leave her alone again, but Connor had stepped closer to perch on the end of her bed with a grin. "Hey Sleeping Beauty." Charlie tore her gaze from Monroe, squeezing his hand weakly.
"Hey.." She looked across and spotted Aaron in between the Monroe men. "Why are you crying Aaron? Are they being mean to you? Want me to beat them up?" A strangled laugh escaped the man as he bounced up and threw himself on her, hugging her as best he could. Her free arm came up to wrap around him.
"Um, can't...breathe..." she choked out.
Aaron was off her in an instant. "Sorry." he said, wiping at his eyes under his glasses. "I'll go get Miles." He rushed out of the room as she turned back to Monroe.
"What happened? How did you find me?" Her assumption that he'd been the one to get her from Neville caused something inside of him to break. Of all the people she knew, Charlie seemed certain that he had been the one to save her. The trust she had in him, right when it mattered, broke his heart and for a second he considered telling her that it was the truth. He had found her, he had saved her from Neville, if only to spare her the knowledge that her mother had gotten there first, that because of him, Rachel had nearly gotten her killed. But one thing they didn't do was lie to each other. Avoid the truth, dress it up, dance around it, but they never lied.
"Connor - can you give us a minute? Go stall Miles." His son nodded, leaning over, he pressed a kiss to Charlie's cheek. "Good to have you back." he told her, grinning, then left the room.
"Okay," Charlie said quietly, "you're being weird, Miles isn't here, neither is my mom. What's going on? Is one of them hurt?" Bass saw the panic rise on her face as she tried to sit up, pulling her hand from his.
"Charlie, no, calm down they're fine." She continued in her attempt to rise until he grabbed her hand again, "Charlotte they're okay."
She finally stopped. "So what's going on then?"
He told her all he knew, shame clouding his face. At the devastated look on hers he looked down, refusing to meet her gaze. "Charlotte, I'm sorry. It's my fault, I'm so-"
"Shut up." Her voice was steady and strong. He looked up to see her eyes bright with unshed tears and it killed him. Now she was going to tell him that she hated him, wanted nothing more to do with him. Bass tried to ready himself for it but there was no preparing for having your heart broken.
Instead, he felt her grip his hands, pulling him closer. In surprise, he let her. Charlie pulled him down to her, their faces almost touching. She looked like a woman who had made her mind up about something. "I had a dream about you." She told him, leaning forward and pressing the lightest of kisses on his mouth. "You looked so sad. I wanted to make it better but I didn't know how until this woman appeared and said all I had to do was open my eyes." Charlie smiled at the confused look on his face. "So I opened my eyes. You could at least smile about it."
As he looked at her, confused and touched at what she was trying to tell him, she wrapped her hand around his neck and into his hair and pulled him to her. This time she kissed him deeply, parting her lips for his tongue as he cupped her face in his hands. Even as the door thrust open with a bang she kept on kissing him, neither willing to break away - because apparently, even at times like this, she was as competitive as he was.
It took Miles exclaiming, "Oh come on man, are you kidding me right now?" for them to separate.
An hour later and Gene had checked Charlie over. She seemed to be alright. He ordered her to stay in bed for a few days to rest up and even as fuzzy as she felt, Charlie could tell that he had more than one reason for wanting her kept to her bed.
Miles had given her a brief hug and shot frequent glares at Monroe, who had stayed silently in the corner of the room with his arms folded just watching her. Nobody mentioned her mom.
She could feel her eyes going together. Despite how long she had been out all she wanted to do was sleep. Maybe everyone had noticed, cause she suddenly realized that the room had emptied of everyone except Miles and Monroe.
"Where's mom?" She asked Miles quietly.
"Outside, she uh, she wants to see you but she won't come in here with him" Miles pointed over his shoulder at a furious looking Monroe.
"That bitch almost kills her own daughter and still manages to play the victim huh?" He turned towards the door with murderous intent on his face and Charlie felt a stirring of panic swell. "Monroe." She called out and he froze, hand halfway to the doorknob. "Please don't."
"Are you kidding me, Charlotte? She-"
"I know. I know what she did and I'll deal with it later. If you go out there you'll hurt her and then no matter what she has done you'll be the bad guy."
Monroe looked like he could give a shit what he would look like as long as he got to take Rachel out, but he made no move to leave.
Miles was looking back and forth between them, his face unreadable. Maybe he had noticed that Charlie's concern had been for Monroe and not her mom. The former General finally stomped across the room and threw himself into the chair beside her uncle. Charlie shot him a grateful smile and sighed inwardly when he refused to return it.
Her uncle shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "I'll let you get some rest." Getting up, he leaned over to press a kiss on her forehead, mumbling, "Don't you ever do that to me again." He made it all the way to the door before he turned back around and burst out, "And the second Bass leaves this room I am going to shoot him. Dead. Twice. So you know... say your goodbyes." As Charlie started laughing, Miles quickly turned and walked away, but she caught a glimpse of a slight smile on his face.
Monroe sat silently beside her bed, his face like stone. Charlie lay back against her pillows and closed her eyes. For a few long moments neither of them said a word. But she couldn't go to sleep, not with him so obviously upset beside her. In his mood he would probably wait for her to fall asleep then go kill her mother.
"Promise you won't hurt her."
"No."
"Sebastian..."
"No." 'Bastard.'
"Quit being a baby."
"I. No."
Charlie sighed, "Fine. Go ahead. Shoot her." She kept her eyes closed, knowing she would laugh if she looked at his face.
"You want me to shoot her?"
She sighed again, "No, but I can't stop big, bad General Monroe from doing whatever he wants to do. Doesn't matter what I want."
"And what do you want Charlotte? To let her get away with being a selfish, crazy bitch yet again? You want me to shut up and watch her play martyr as fucking usual? She hurt you. What the hell do you want from me?" Boy was that a loaded question. And they both knew it.
Charlie opened her eyes and saw the look on his face. Her heart began to speed up. She reached over and grabbed his hand. "I want you to let me handle my mother. I want you to avoid doing something that will cost us both." Leaving the meaning behind that statement unsaid, she continued, "I want you to stay here with me where Miles can't shoot you. And I really, really want to go to sleep..."
Monroe was silent for a long moment, then surprised her by giving a chuckle. He stood up and kicked his shoes off. "Move over." He told her.
She raised an eyebrow at him, "Trying to get lucky on my sickbed, really?" Even as she spoke, she was moving over to make room for him.
"Maybe later. I know you can't resist me, but you'll have to try for now. This is purely practical."
Charlie couldn't help it, she giggled. "Practical?" She asked him as he climbed in beside her and held out an arm to her. "Hmm... yes. If you want me to avoid killing someone you're gonna have to literally hold me back."
Her head came to rest on his shoulder, their legs immediately tangling together. It was incredible to her, how natural it felt to be wrapped up in his arms. As she got as close to him as she possibly could, the tension that had formed in her stomach since hearing what her mother had done finally began to dissolve. Maybe he understood, because his hand trailed comfortingly up her back. "I'm sorry Charlotte."
She knew what he was apologizing for and Charlie hated it. None of this was his fault. There wasn't anything that had kept her mom and Miles apart when they had found each other again. Neither of them had even seemed to consider the implications of a brother and sister-in-law falling into bed together. Nor had they seemed to care what Charlie would feel about it. They both conveniently forgot that Ben Matheson had ever existed, aside of course, from the occasions when Rachel felt the need to hit Monroe over the head with his death.
And when it came down to it, when Miles and her mom wanted to be together, the past was set aside completely. Charlie knew that even if she did have a problem with it, they'd be surprised at her for saying so. Which just made the idea of fighting whatever she was feeling for Monroe sound stupid. Or maybe that was the head injury. Either way, he wasn't the devil and she was tired of pretending that she believed he was. Her mother, when she thought about it, had caused far more damage to the people that Charlie loved than he ever had. The knowledge should have devastated her, but right now it only made her feel stronger, more determined.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." She told him softly. He was about to argue, she just knew it, so she added, "No, shut up." And actually heard his mouth snap closed. "I'm not going to pretend to know or understand what's happening between us, but whatever it is - it's our business. Nobody elses." He shifted on the bed to stare down at her. "I nearly died, what, yesterday? Maybe I'll really die tomorrow. Or maybe you will. Life is short, more so for people like us and I don't want to waste any more time. My mom... Miles even... they have no right to judge. And they have no right to pretend that you're the only one whose done bad things. What she did is on her - nobody else."
Monroe was gazing at her with moist eyes. "Charlie... I don't want to cost you the rest of your family."
Charlie sighed, reaching up to touch his face. He closed his eyes. He looked exhausted, like he had aged ten years overnight. That was because of her, she knew. She gently traced her fingertips across his cheek. "My family have no room to talk. If Rachel Matheson can fall in love with whoever she wants then so can I."
As soon as she said it her eyes widened, while his snapped open. She immediately wanted to spring up from the bed and get the hell out of there. That had not been what was supposed to come out of her mouth.
"Say that again." His voice was a harsh whisper. She blinked up at him. Usually, whatever he was feeling seemed to be written on his face like words in a book, clear as hell for her to read, but right now she couldn't read a thing out of his expression. Was he angry with her? Was she about to be rejected over something she hadn't even meant to say?
"I - I..." Struggling to find words, Charlie was looking anywhere except him. But it didn't seem like he was about to let it go.
"Charlie..."
"I - I- just meant." What the hell was wrong with her? She was a Matheson, she didn't stutter! "I.."
"You're adorable when you're babbling."
Immediately, she shot a shocked glare at him and saw that he was now grinning.
"You are such an ass."
"But you love me anyway."
"That is not what I meant."
"Oh I know what you meant."
Charlie shot him another glare. Inwardly, she was relieved he hadn't pressed her any further, because she wasn't even all that sure what she had meant.
"It's alright," he told her, "I don't love you either." She raised an eyebrow at him, challenge written all over her face and watched as his smug grin faded.
"Well, I- I -" He mumbled.
"Now who's babbling?"
It was Monroe's turn to glare. "As soon as you're better you're going over my knee."
"Sounds interesting."
Their gazes locked and a spark of heat flared in her. Suddenly she was very aware of how close he was and how long it had been since she had felt him inside of her. As she unconsciously licked her lower lip, his eyes trailed down to her mouth. There was pure hunger in them. But after a long moment he shook his head and pulled her against his chest again. "Get some sleep Charlie."
Before she could feel too stung at this apparent rejection, she heard him whisper against her ear, "The second I know it won't hurt you, I am going to fuck you until you beg me to stop."
She was going to argue, to insist that she was fine, but the dull ache in her head reminded her that it was probably a bad idea and settled against him instead.
The man holding her now was totally different to the one that she had met in Philly all that time ago. He had saved her life countless times and had pushed back his more murderous impulses because she asked him to. And now, as desperate as she knew he was to be loved, he had let her off the hook the second he realized how panicked and not ready she was to discuss the word love. As she drifted off with him wrapped around her, it occurred to her that this was the Bass that her uncle loved so much. And she could see why.
In the morning she was going to have to face her mother. There were going to be questions about her and Monroe and she didn't have any answers for herself, let alone her family. It was going to be a long and probably painful day, how it would end was anyone's guess. But right now, as sleep pulled her in, Charlie didn't worry about any of it, because despite her banging headache and the troubles ahead, she had never felt safer than she did right now in the arms of the man everyone else was afraid of.