A/N - notes at bottom

They were laying together on top of the bed, clothing scattered everywhere. The moment Charlie had told him that she loved him - that she had forgiven him, he was lost to her. They had ended up naked, with her riding him to completion and he still couldn't quite remember how it happened. Never before had he made love to a woman... Bass hadn't even thought it any different than literally just having sex with someone you loved. But he'd been so, so wrong. Charlie had just shown him what it truly meant. He was still overwhelmed and it seemed like she was as well.

She was currently curled into his side, her fingers tracing across his chest. He was pretty certain the invisible pattern being ghosted onto him was her name.

Somewhere amidst the afterglow he realized he had come inside her again. He hadn't seen a condom in years, but he should have at least been pulling out of her. It hadn't even occurred to him, until now. Being with her felt so natural and right and just so damn good that it had been pure instinct that led him every time she touched him. His brain had taken nothing to do with it.

But did it really matter? Charlie loved him. When faced with her family she had chosen him. She believed in him - right at the moment he needed her to. Charlotte was his. If he got her pregnant that would only seal the deal and confirm that she wasn't going to change her mind and leave him... They'd had unprotected sex three times now, for all he knew she could already be forming his child inside her. The idea of it made him ache. Because of Shelly it would be terrifying, but if it worked out... He could have another chance, a chance to get it right... with the woman he loved more than any other. And he could give her back a family - since he was the main reason for the loss of hers. It all sounded so perfect...

Deep down Bass knew he was being crazy, that even having his child was no guarantee that Charlotte would stay with him. The fact that he had no idea how she felt about the subject was a red flag as well. But the events of the last few days had taken their toll on the fragile balance of his mind. He'd discovered that he could have her after months of repressing every urge and feeling towards her. Then in quick succession he had almost lost her, snatched her back, made her his and before he could even let it sink in she had nearly been lost to him again. It had all been too much for him to handle.

His focus was solely on her - keeping her with him, giving her something that would make being with him worth it. In Charlie, he finally saw something other than all of the bloodshed and the death. Something worth fighting for. They could leave it all behind, go away together, just them, and build a new life, start a family...

Charlie startled him from his thoughts as the first tear hit his chest. What the fuck was wrong with him? The woman had just been through hell. Twice. And he was selfishly plotting all the ways he could accidentally on purpose knock her up?! Sometimes he wondered if he was still just as crazy as Rachel.

Bass held her as she cried, wishing desperately that the right thing to say would pop into his head. But he came up blank. There was no soothing cliched phrase in the world that covered this. When she finally calmed down he grabbed the sheet and gently wiped her face.

"Sorry," she told him, her cheeks going a little pink, "I'm a mess."

"Hey, you're allowed to be. You're the strongest person I know Charlotte, a few tears aren't going to change that." Charlie smiled at him, then moved down to rest her head on his shoulder.

"I meant what I said, before. I can't stay here with her. And I bet you don't want to either.. Not after that."

"Every time I think about what she did to you... I'm not gonna lie Charlie, I want to smash her face in. I never knew she would stoop so low." Bass tried to swallow the rising anger, he couldn't even talk about the bitch without seeing red. "Miles thinks her mind is broken but I disagree. I know that woman. Her little performance downstairs was nothing new."

"What do you mean?" Charlie looked up at him, frowning.

Bass sighed, he shouldn't have even said it, but he couldn't take it back now.

"She's been doing this for years, Charlotte." He tried to explain as gently as he could, "One day she'd be totally normal, being all noble and trying to do the right thing and the next she'd be this cold, ruthless ice queen who would stab a friend in the heart just to get her own way."

"Are you saying you think she's faking it?" She was confused.

"No, not faking it. But her morality is all to suit herself. She'll take others to task for doing morally reprehensible things... but she'll turn around and do far worse and consider herself justified no matter what it is. I guarantee you that she thinks she had the right to do what she did tonight - because as far as she's concerned you're wrong to be with me."

"As long as she gets her own way the method is irrelevant..."

"Something like that, yeah."

He was glad she understood. As much as he hated the idea of upsetting Charlie even more - he needed all of them to get that Rachel really was the most manipulative and selfish person among them. Otherwise, he feared what she would try - and get away with - next. When he took Charlie away from here there would be nothing to stop her spreading more of her hate and her poison. She'd probably follow them, or manipulate Miles to - all out of spite. He didn't want to live with one eye over his shoulder for Rachel's revenge to hit for all his life. And he didn't want her to be allowed to put what she had done to her daughter down to some temporary madness.

Charlie sighed, "Or maybe she's just always been nuts."

Bass laughed, trust Charlie to break a situation down in such a casual, cutting way.

"When can we leave?" She asked, changing the subject.

"As soon as you like sweetheart," he replied, hoping she'd want to go immediately.

"Do you think Connor will come?"

He knew it was an innocent question and that she was asking for his sake more than anyone's - he knew it - but it still sparked the jealousy within him. He couldn't stand the fact that Connor had touched her, the fact that they remained close. So it was with a little bit of frost in his tone that he replied, " He probably will, if you ask him to." As soon as he said it he wished to Christ he could take it back. But it was too late now.

Charlie pulled away from Monroe, feeling stung. After all of the revelations about him and her mother he hardly had the right to still be angry with her about Connor.

"What's your problem?" His dramatic sigh made her want to slap him. "Seriously, if you can't get over what happened with him then what the hell are you doing with me?" She could not believe him. But before she got to lose her temper completely he sat up and took her face in his hands. He kissed her, hard. Possessively. His lips devoured hers in a way that bordered on painful. If he stopped, she'd kill him.

"I'm sorry, I'm a dick." He told her after leaving her breathless and half-dazed. She had to shake her head, get herself back under control before she could register what he was even saying. "Charlotte... I really am sorry." Wow. Two sorrys in one breath - that was more than most people heard from Sebastian Monroe in a lifetime, Charlie was sure. "I'm a jealous asshole and I never should have said that."

"Yeah, you are." she snapped at him, "And no, you shouldn't have."

Monroe had taken on the look of a guilty puppy and she tried not to laugh. The bastard didn't deserve it.

"I don't know how to do this Charlie. It's been years since I was in any kind of relationship and it's hard for me to see you so close to Connor. How would you really feel if your mother and I were acting like best pals around each other? All soppy grins and hugs?"

'I'd definitely have shot the bitch.' Charlie was surprised at the venom in her thoughts at the idea of it. It had been bad enough watching him speak to Duncan... If she'd had to witness him hug and grin all over a woman he'd slept with... Which reminded her - "It hasn't been years for you. You were clearly with Duncan..." Monroe made the entire thing worse for himself by grinning at her own jealous outburst.

"I wasn't in a relationship with Duncan, Charlie." He kissed her shoulder. "We were friends who occasionally hooked up."

"Like that makes it better." She mumbled, refusing to allow him to see it getting to her. Smug bastard.

"Now whose jealous?"

"I am not jealous!" Even to her own ears she sounded like a petulant child.

"Okay, alright, don't pull a gun on me, I was kidding..."

Charlie glared at him, eyes wide.

"Too soon?"

She was going to kill him.

Connor had woken up to the sound of arguing coming from the kitchen. Apparently Gene and Miles hadn't quite finished bitching at each other yet. He got up and followed the sound of their voices.

"She's been through too much, Miles, because of that monster. And you're just sitting back and letting him manipulate her daughter into wanting to hurt her own mother!"

"Hey, how about you back up on your granddaughter there Gene, alright? The things that Rachel said to Charlie were unforgivable.. So was what she said about Bass, that was out of-"

Miles was cut off by the old man, "Monroe made her this way in the first place!"

Connor had heard enough. He stepped into the kitchen, eyes boring into Gene.

"Are you joking right now?" He was furious. Outwardly, he had appeared calm throughout the whole mess with Charlie's mom, but inside he had been slowly stockpiling his anger.

Whatever his opinion of him - and that changed daily, sometimes hourly - Bass Monroe was his dad. Connor was a Monroe, no matter what his mom had named him. And Rachel had just tried to get him killed. Had accused him of the worst thing a man could do. And to top it off - the one member of the Matheson family he actually gave a fuck about - Charlie - had been wounded beyond repair. Yet the old bastard was standing here holier than thou, blaming them both for what that crazy blonde had done.

Miles and Gene had turned towards him. He was pretty sure that there was relief on Miles' face to see him.

"Your wack-job daughter just tried to get my father killed. She just told Charlie that her own dad's death was her fault. How long are you going to blame everyone else for the fact that Rachel is a selfish slut who uses people and doesn't give a shit who she hurts?"

Gene looked furious and there was a flash of anger shot across Miles' face too, but it was time somebody among them said this.

"From what I understand, that blonde bitch is the reason the world ended... So if anyone is a monster around here it isn't my dad. And since the things that happened to him because of the blackout made him the way he is, then anything he did to her the vicious psycho brought on herself. "

Connor's voice hadn't raised one bit, he'd learned a lot in Mexico and one of the most important things had been how to use his speaking tone to intimidate others.

Miles wasn't impressed, he could tell, but Gene on the other hand...

But Connor had one more thing to say. "Now, you're protecting your own, I get that. I even respect it. But you're under the same roof as people who care about my dad and about Charlie and if I were you I'd be more concerned about keeping Rachel's door locked than trying to get a target attached to your own back as well as hers."

"Was that a threat?" Gene threw out, coming towards him.

"Hey, hey, enough." Miles stepped between them.

"Not a threat old man. a friendly warning. And you'll only get one. That bitch even shows her face and she'll lose it. Anyone else who tries to hurt my dad or Charlie is dead."

His words hung in the air as Gene seemed to shrink into himself. Connor felt sorry for the old guy, knew he was trying to do right by his family. But it had needed to be said and his dad was busy doing right by Charlie while Miles was too soft to do what was needed. That left him.

They both watched as Gene stomped from the room.

"So," said Miles, "the little soldier knows how to talk big... You learn that from your dad?"

If there was one thing he hated, it was being patronized. Charlie did it to him all the time though and with her he found it amusing. With Miles, not so much. Charlie was all rough affection - Miles was plainly taking him for a dick.

"You don't know me." He replied, "You don't know anything about me, or the things that I've done, just to survive. Here's the thing Miles, I don't give a shit about anything. I don't care about this war, I don't care about you or your crazy girlfriend. About anything. There are two exceptions to that, " three if you counted the republic, but Miles didn't need to know that, " Charlie is my friend, I'm kinda low on them right now so the one I have is important. And my dad is a dick, but he's all I've got." He stepped right in front of Miles, careful to keep his gaze strong, his voice lowered to practically a whisper, "so if Rachel or her dad get the urge to cause any more trouble, I will happily slit their throats."

Miles didn't know whether to be weirded out or angered by the mouthy kids little speech, but before he could decide, Connor was gone.

Bass had never known when to keep his mouth shut. It was a gift of his, being able to answer anything that was thrown at him. This time though, he should have just remained silent. He knew what it was, lingering annoyance over Charlie and Connor Her obvious jealousy over Duncan had eased it a little, but it was still there.

The problem was that on paper, they were a better fit. He was her age and not a monster. Plus Rachel and Miles would probably have been pissed, but there wouldn't have been such a bad reaction if they'd found out she was with his son. Bass would always defend himself against those two hypocrites, who had done just as much bad as he had - maybe even worse - but he was fully aware of what he had done. He wasn't a good person, didn't even know how to be anymore. He had already caused Charlie so much pain - how could he justify keeping her for himself when it was going to cost her so much? Connor would have been the better choice for her.

But Bass loved her, enough to despise the idea of her with anyone else, even if it would be better for her. And it hurt. It was a constant reminder of how badly he wanted to be the man he was before he had lost everything. He had been a good man then, the kind of man who would have deserved her love. But, deserve her or not, how could he leave her now? When she had just told him that she loved him, had chosen him over Rachel? It wasn't going to happen and if he was going to hell for it then he was going to enjoy every second he got to have her beforehand.

Right now though - she was pissed at him.

She was laying on her side, turned away from him and pretending to be asleep. He was on his back beside her, staring at the ceiling.

"I love you Charlie." Having laid there for ages trying to think of something to say other than another 'I'm sorry.', he had decided to go for the one thing he had yet to properly say to her. The one thing that could disarm her into speaking to him again.

Charlie immediately dropped all pretense of sleep and rolled over to face him. She was trying hard, he could tell, to stay angry with him, but all the same she was fighting a smile. "I really, really love you." He told her. "And I know that you deserve far better than me. Which is why I guess, deep down, I keep waiting for you to realize it and end this." God, he felt like such a sap, pouring his heart out like a woman.

Charlie didn't say anything for a long moment, just watched him sadly. When she did speak, her voice was small, "I don't think love is about what people deserve. And I get that you think your son would be better for me, but I completely disagree." Bass felt her fingers trail down his arm and then slip in between his own. He squeezed them. "Connor isn't who I want to be with. I don't love him, I'm not even attracted to him. But you... You make me ache inside. Sometimes I want you in me so much it feels like I'll explode." At that, he tried very hard not to smirk at her. "But it's more than that, just sex, I mean. Connor doesn't make me feel safe, he doesn't make everything feel better just by being there. He doesn't make me crazy, or frustrate me all the way to breaking point, he can't look in my eyes and just know what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. Only you can do that. You make me forget that the world is hard and crazy and painful. When I'm with you it feels like everything will be alright in the end as long as you're going to be there."

"Charlotte..." There was a sharp swell of emotion in his gut. How did this perfect, amazing girl feel that way about him? "I honestly don't know how you can see me that way after all I've done..."

"Are you joking? Ever since the tower, every time I've been in trouble, every time I've been alone and afraid, you've been the one to come for me. You always look out for me, yet you've never treated me like a kid, or asked for anything in return. And I know you by now Monroe, you don't do that, even for Miles. Yet you always manage to be there for me, even when I'm being horrible to you. So yeah, the bad stuff is there too, but it's not all you are, not to me." Charlie snuggled into him, "So shut up and get some sleep because tomorrow you're taking me away from all this."

There were tears in his eyes as he clutched her tightly to him. This girl who believed in him, who cared about him, was bringing out not only the parts of himself that he'd thought were long dead, but she was also slowly resurrecting the part of him that had possessively held on to things just a little too tightly. And went a little bit too far to protect the people he loved. Rachel was a danger to Charlie and she'd hurt her; everything in him was now burning with the need to make her bleed, to get her out of the way, because she was still a threat to their relationship as long as she lived - she was after all, Charlie's mother.

Charlotte was either going to end up with Rachel's blood on her hands or she was going to leave him. It was the only way to put an end to this situation. Neither were an option as far as he was concerned. Which meant he was going to have to find another way.

Miles was drunk as hell. And he liked it. The past few days had been screwed up. Even for a family that pretty much defined the term "screwed up" - this was screwed up.

Rachel had been the love of his life for so long, he had clearly ignored the signs that something still wasn't right with her. It was like she had forgotten everything bad or foolish she had ever done and laid all the blame on Bass. It was like nothing she, or he for that matter, had done was even relevant anymore. Everything was about how evil Bass was.

That pissed him off. Bass was still his brother and he would never be able to completely stop loving him but it was more than that. Miles wasn't an idiot, despite the looks Rachel gave him most of the time; whatever little fling had developed between Charlie and Bass, Rachel's actions had just cemented them together. Bass told him they hadn't even admitted they had feelings for each other until Charlie had gotten hurt. Probably they would have gone at it for a little while then gotten bored with each other, simple as that.

But now, Charlies mom had turned them into Romeo and fucking Juliet. Rachel had reminded them in the harshest way that these days there was no such thing as taking it slow, or seeing what happens. No, they'd jumped headlong into a relationship because the way things were going one of them would be dead withing the week. Nothing like impending loss to make you think you're in love with someone.

As he usually did when thinking about his niece or his best friend, he sighed - this one all the deeper because both of them had been in the same thought. They were going to leave, he knew they were. Charlie wasn't going to hang around her mom and he couldn't blame her. Bass wouldn't let her go without him so he'd be gone too. Connor would follow his father, hell bent on getting his hands on the Republic. even though the pricks thought no one had figured them out. He debated telling Charlie what her boyfriend was up to but decided against it. She might fall out with him next. Plus, with her around, Bass might not risk losing her to get it all back anyway. It was the least of his worries anyhow. Aaron would most likely go with Charlie, after all, he was furious at Rachel and had been with Charlie longer than any of them. Gene would stay with his daughter, obviously. But what about Miles? What the hell was he going to do?

Then he realized he already knew the answer and sighed again. He loved Rachel, just like he'd loved Nora - but when faced with a choice, none of them could compete with his little girl; because father or not, that's exactly what Charlie was to him. "Of all the damn bars in Chicago why'd you walk into mine kid?"

Charlie untangled herself from Monroe as gently as she could but he still woke up. He pulled her back against him, still half asleep. "Where you going?"

"Gotta use the bathroom, be back in a second."

"If you're not, I'll hunt you down." He smiled sleepily at her and a sudden chill ran down her spine.

She headed out of the room and bypassed the bathroom altogether, instead turning towards her moms bedroom. If they were going to go, Charlie knew she would never see her mom again and while the idea wasn't a bad one, she felt the need to see her one last time, to say goodbye. Maybe to let her mother know that no matter how hard she had tried, she hadn't broken her. Which was a lie, but Rachel didn't need to know that. She could still see the look in her eyes as the gun had pointed right at her, they had been cold, mocking her for her feelings. Well screw her. At least Charlie had feelings. She didn't know when her mom had stopped, but she had. The woman who used to smile openly at her had been gone for a long time. It was that woman she wanted to say goodbye to this morning.

The first thing Charlie saw when she opened the door was the blood. It took her a few seconds to register that she wasn't imagining it. That's when the screaming started. She didn't realize until later that the high-pitched wail had come from her.

A/N- sorry for taking so long guys, been under crazy pressure but you don't need to read my cares and woes and they're too depressing to type anyway lol. Hope you like this chapter, it was rough going, this story isn't meant to be Shakespeare, or even I dunno, Meyer lol it's just my way of purging all the Charloe feels and annoyance at the way the show went. I've heard there's a bunch of Charloe haters running around and I find that confusing, there's so many of us yet none of us start fights with the teeming legions of Bachel fans out there (yeah the teeming legions part was total sarcasm) seriously though, our ship t'was not the one that got the show cancelled... I still maintain that part of the no answer from NBC came from a place of WTF about making our show into Vampire Diaries for people who dislike vampires... I'm not ranting anymore I swear lol. Thanks for all the reviews and follows etc, even when I don't have time to reply I appreciate every single one of them and the time you guys take to write them out. I'm finishing off next installment of Absence of Light and barring a(nother :S) rl crisis I will get caught up on the review replies as soon as that's posted x