PLEASE READ:

Roarkshop here: I know a lot of you don't read these little blurbs of mine up here, and that's totally cool, but I do hope you'll read this one.

I have been debating for weeks and weeks now as to whether or not I wanted to include the storyline that starts in this chapter. I had it planned out since the story's inception and really really liked it, but I had this fear in the back of my mind that people were going to think that I was needlessly stretching out the story with unnecessary content. However, with the tremendous support of you, the readers, who have told me that I should keep on writing the story the way I want to write it, I have decided that I still really like it, and so it will be included. Please trust me when I say the next 4(ish) chapters all contain information, even in tiny details, that I feel is integral to Shepard's and Garrus' character. I really like these chapters, and I worked very hard on them, so I hope you all like them too.

For those of you who don't read the blog, this marks when I start to SEVERELY mess with the timeline of one of the characters. While it meant a lot to me to stick to the canon of the character's PERSONALITY, I have completely re-written the timeline of their history, so I hope you all like the change.

Also: Posting the chapter a little early this week in celebration of 100 likes on facebook! WOO!

Anyway, thank you all for your tremendous support these past few weeks. You all, with your support in comments, PM's, facebook messages, all of it, you are what keeps me writing this story and give me the drive to put up a chapter ever week. So thank you. I couldn't do this without all of you.

As always, keep an eye on your inboxes for replies from yours truly, and have an absolutely wonderful weekend.

Love and Laughter,

Roarkshop

Chakwas shook her head as she rolled Shepard's ankle back and forth, seeing where the break was.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "On the ship. Off the ship. No matter where you are, you will find a way to seriously injure yourself."

"I didn't injure myself," Shepard protested, pointing at the shirtless drell on the other side of the room. "He injured me. Why aren't you scolding him?"

"Because the whole ridiculous thing was your idea in the first place!"

"Fine! Christ!" Shepard shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "I'm obviously suicidal and cannot be trusted with my own extremities. Krios! Get the straight jacket! What are you doing, don't give me a fork! YOU FOOL! YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING!"

Krios put a fist in front of his mouth in an attempt to cover up his laughter with coughing.

"Enough of your dramatics, girl," the doctor scolded, fighting the smile that was threatening her lips. "It doesn't seem terribly serious. Your cybernetics are probably already knitting the break together.

"Sweet. So, what? Stay of it for a day?"

"How very optimistic of you," she said, standing. "I'll wrap it and give you something to speed the healing a bit so you can run off and get yourself injured again by the end of the week."

"Excellent," Shepard said, putting on her best evil scientist voice. "All is going according to plan."

Chakwas rolled her eyes and went to get the gauze and hypodermic needle from the cupboard.

"I am sorry for hurting you," Thane said finally, moving to her side with his arms behind his back.

"It's alright," Shepard said, waving a hand. "Ask for a fight with someone who has been killing their whole life and you don't get to be surprised when their instincts kick your ass."

"Very reasonable, but still does not excuse it."

"You know what does excuse it? Winning. HAH!"

"Is that so?" he said with a smile.

"It is. And hey," she hit him in the arm open-handed. "My shoulder feels better. Mission complete."

He laughed.

Every part of Garrus was telling him to go into that Med Bay and break up whatever the hell Shepard and Krios were talking about. But he resisted, resolving himself to let Shepard have her moment and keep to himself in the Battery. He wanted Shepard to be happy, that was more important than his petty grievances. This is the promise he had made her weeks ago. He just had to ignore it.

As he ticked his talons on the console absently, running through the different screens, he fought to keep the images of her out of his head; her struggling under Krios, her embarrassed smile as he picked her up to take her to the Med Bay.

It obviously wasn't working.

His thoughts were interrupted by the tell-tale soft gait of Krios coming up behind him, and Garrus turned to lean on the Battery console to acknowledge the shirtless drell.

"Vakarian," Thane said, hands behind his back.

"Krios," Garrus returned, his mandibles clicking. "Good fight," he added, making it sound as little like a compliment as he possibly could.

"I'd wager you would be saying something different had I beaten her."

"You didn't."

Krios smiled. "No I didn't. Not this time."

Garrus crossed his arms, the moment stretching out in front of the two men like the air between them was freezing solid.

"Siha has requested your presence," Thane finally said, pointing a thumb back over his shoulder. "I recommend you go to her."

"Thanks," Garrus said, pushing up from the Battery and heading out. "I recommend you put a shirt on," he said just as he passed the drell.

He felt Thane turn to watch him walk away, probably smiling that same victorious smirk of his.

Damn him.

Garrus ducked into the Med Bay and immediately saw Shepard sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking rather bored. Her face lit up when she saw him.

"Hey, Sparkles!"

"Hey, Bug. Good Fight," he said, actually meaning it as a compliment this time. He could feel all his irritation melting out of him at the sight of her.

"Yeah. I'm pretty awesome."

"Indeed you are. That's why you won the bout unscathed? Oh wait. I'm thinking of me again."

"Hardy-fucking-har, Lobster Lips."

He laughed.

"So who'd you bet on?" Shepard asked coyly, kicking her feet in the air.

"Shepard," Garrus said, crossing his arms and leaning into his back foot. "You should know I only gamble with my own money when I'm sure I'm going to win."

"Oh… yeah," She said with a sad laugh, looking down at her feet.

He chuckled and put his index finger under her chin to make her look at him before crossing his arms again.

"I doubled my money."

"Hah!" She cheered, punching him in the shoulder. "I knew you'd bet on me!" She raised her hand for a high-five, which he gladly returned.

"How's the ankle?" He asked. "Krios got you good."

"Doesn't matter. Won."

"Not what I asked you."

"Eh, not bad. Hurts like a motherfucker. But Doc says I should be good in a week or so."

"A week? That soon?"

"Yeah. Yay for Cyborgs, I guess. Anyway that's why I wanted you to come in. I'm benching myself for Pragia."

"Jack's thing? Why not just wait the week until you're better?"

"Because while I'm in no hurry to get everyone killed, we have to get this show on the road sooner or later. If another colony gets attacked because I was too busy dicking around I'm gonna be pissed at myself. We have to get this Reaper tool that'll take us through the Omega 4 and kick some Collector ass. So I need you to get it done."

Garrus exhaled through his nose. "So you want me to baby sit Jack?"

She laughed. "She's not that bad, Garrus."

"Every time she comes into the room her markings give me a headache."

"Then stop staring at them, perv."

"There isn't an inch of her you can look at without seeing her markings!"

"Oh grow up, will you? Besides it's an abandoned facility. You just need to plant a bomb so it will be nice and fast. What could go wrong?"

"Don't say that. Every time you say 'what could go wrong' everything explodes."

"Oh don't be a dick, that's not true."

"Uh huh. Who do you want me to bring?"

"Whoever you want," she said with a shrug. "It's your show, so whoever you think will be the most help. Just don't take Thane. He's off the table."

"Oh? Looking to have some alone time?" he said, trying to sound like he was joking.

"Hardly," she said with a snort. "He said that humid moist places speed up Kepral's syndrome. Pragia's a big humid jungle, so we should avoid that."

"Yeah yeah, like I'd want to spend any more time with him than I have to."

"Jeeze, touchy much? What's your deal? What has he done to earn such ire from you?"

Garrus exhaled through his nose.

"Besides break your ankle?"

"Fair enough."

After spending most of the evening in the Med Bay, Shepard waited until the doting mother hen went to sleep before grabbing her crutch and hobbling out to the Mess Hall where some of the girls were chatting.

"Hey, Commander," Kelly said, pulling out a chair for her.

"Hi ladies," she said as she plopped into the chair. "What are we talking about?"

"Sex," Gabby said with a grin.

"Ah. I see we're taking a break from your usual topics of philosophies and the meaning of life."

They laughed.

"More pointedly," Miranda said, "we're talking about the difference between having sex and 'making love'."

"What?" Shepard said, blinking the confusion off her face. "There's a difference?"

"That's what I said," Jack slammed a palm onto the table as she spoke. "It's gotta be a chick thing."

"Women," Shepard said with a sarcastic sigh.

"Come on, Shepard," Miranda said, sinking into her chair. "We all know about the demerits in your file for fraternization."

"We've gone over this before haven't we? None of those were boyfriends. They were just…What do you call it?" She said, looking to Kelly.

"Assurance of control," Chambers offered.

"Yeah," Sheppard said, snapping her fingers. "That."

"That makes you about as qualified as I am on the subject," Jack said, putting her feet up on the table. "If it isn't casual or hate sex, I haven't had it."

"Something tells me that hate sex is your specialty, Jack," Gabby offered.

"What can I say? I share my hate for people in many different ways," she said, nodding at Tali as the quarian came around the corner. "And none better than a good-old-fashioned-hate-screw."

"Erm," Tali said, stopping. "What are we talking about?"

"Construction," Shepard said.

"Sex, actually," Kelly corrected.

"Done already, Tali?" Shepard said, pulling the chair on the other side of her out.

"Yes. I feel more comfortable sleeping on the Normandy than borrowing a room from Raan. Besides, everyone is just offering condolences which does nothing but keeps me from getting over it. I could use some frivolity."

"Well we've certainly got plenty of that," Gabby said.

"I don't even know what that word means," Jack said.

"Surprise, surprise," Shepard sang.

"Eat me, Shepard."

"Erm, it means pointlessness, Jack," Tali offered.

"Well why didn't you just say that the first time, you condescending bucket!"

Shepard laughed as the girls filled Tali in on the subject matter who, for obvious reasons, also had never experienced what they were talking about.

"There. Three people who are out of your loop," Jack said. "So I'm not the freak anymore."

"I wouldn't say that," Miranda said.

"Fuck you, Cheerleader."

"You'd change your tune if you'd let someone in long enough to care about them, Jack," Kelly offered.

"Oh good," Shepard said, sinking into her chair. "Let's psychoanalyze the psycho. That'll go over great."

"I'm serious," Kelly tried.

"Yeah, yeah," Jack said, waving a hand. "I'm sure lovey-dovey mushy sex would make the tats melt right off of my scored ass. It's just not my thing. You let someone get that close, just gives them a better view of where to stick a knife."

"Amen," Sheppard said, regardless that she didn't exactly agree.

"You're hardly in the same boat, Commander," Gabby said. "Look how close you and Garrus are. Jack would never let someone in like that."

"Let's not compare Jack's and my ability to make friends. That'll just get me punched. My friendship with Garrus is only as strong as it is because we've never gotten involved that way and he's never been exposed to whatever it is about me that sends men running like they've got propulsion systems up their asses."

"Seriously though, Shep," Jack said, standing. "The way you avoid boning the men on this ship, I'm going to start thinking you're a lesbian."

"A lesbian?" Tali said, looking at Shepard. "I thought you said you were a Sagittarius."

The laughter erupted from them all as Tali looked around; trying to figure out what was so funny. One by one, they all filtered off to bed until just Tali and Shepard were left in the Mess Hall.

"So," Shepard said, sinking into her chair. "When are you going to do the nasty with Kal'Reegar? I had the ship stay docked specifically so you could get it in gear."

"What's the point?" she said, leaning her head on her fist. "We're about to head into a situation where 'everyone dies in an explosion' might be the best case scenario. What's the point in getting involved with someone just to make them mourn you?"

"You've got a point," Shepard said with a sad exhale. "You can stay, you know."

"I what?"

"Here. With the fleet. You don't have to come along if you don't want to."

"Why would you even say that to me, Jane? Of course I'm coming with you. I won't abandon you. For Kal or anyone else."

Shepard smiled. "Thanks Tali. It's good to know I won't be the only old maid in the universe."

"Ugh," Tali said, letting her helmet fall onto the table. "We are so bad at this."

Shepard laughed and put an affectionate hand on Tali's helmet. "Well, I can't be good at everything," she said. They sat there for a few minutes of silence, letting the sad moment hang in the air.

"Hey," Shepard said finally. "Grab those bottles of liquor. We'll go down to Engineering and get drunk."

"That's the best idea I've heard all day," Tali said, standing and heading into the kitchen. Once she grabbed the two bottles she turned back to the elevator, only then noticing that Shepard was using a crutch.

"Keelah, Jane, what happened to your foot?"

"I sparred with Thane. I also won."

"Oh. Then I'm sorry I missed it."

"He was shirtless the whole time."

"Well, now I'm really sorry I missed it."

Shepard laughed.

"Hey Jane," Tali said drunkenly, leaning her head against the console in Engineering, sitting on the floor next to Shepard.

"Yeah, Tali?"

"You know why I love being on the Normandy?"

"My huge sexy drive core?"

"No. Well yes, that too. Also because I don't have to be an adult all the time."

"You're hardly a child, Tali."

"I know but, I don't know. I don't need to be tough like on Haestrom. I can just be… childish. I have you to depend on, you make all the big decisions, you give me purpose. I don't have to act all…mature." She snapped her fingers. "Like with this trial! Had I gotten this news with my other crew I would have had to suck it up and just…get it done. But I was with you. You let me cry and feel it out on my own. I didn't have anyone looking to me."

"Well I'm glad you're comfortable enough around me that you can act childish."

"Yeah," she said, rolling her head to the side. "I wish you could be childish sometimes."

"What are you talking about," Shepard said, tossing back a swig of liquor. "I'm always childish."

"Not when it's important. Sure you act like a teenager when you're being frivolous. But when the galaxy needs you… you're always there to pick up our slack; to make us all strong."

Shepard smiled and sighed, looking down at her legs.

"I get it now," Tali continued. "Why you're so afraid."

"Hmmm?" Shepard said, rolling her head to look at the quarian.

"About Garrus."

"Ah. Yeah." Shepard said with an exhale. "It's a scary thing."

"How would someone even do that? I mean, I was his superior, Jane. He was a part of my crew, he looked up to me. How can you take that chance? How do you show someone who respects you so much that you're…. that you…"

"How vulnerable you are," Shepard finished.

"Yes," Tali said, raising a hand and letting it fall onto her leg. "Exactly that. The idea of Kal not respecting me anymore…"

"I know."

"Oh shut up, Jane. Garrus would never stop respecting you."

"Easy for you to say."

"Hey, Ugly!" Tali said, doing her best Shepard impression. "Get your stupid ass to my quarters for kissing and cuddles! On the double!"

Shepard let out a loud laugh, putting her hand on her head.

"I'll add that to the list of 'shit I need to say someday'," She said.

"See that you do," Tali said. "One of us has to make a love life work somehow."

"Honestly, Tali," Shepard said, letting her eyes go out of focus. "I don't think I even know how to have a love life."

"What do you mean?" Tali said before slurping more liquor through her straw.

"Think about it. What do I know about love? Nothing. Apparently sex and love are two different things. I don't even know how I'd… I mean I don't even think I could…" she let her head sink against her chest. "There are too many unknowns. Too many things I can do wrong."

"Unknowns? You talk about it like it's a mission!"

"Oh but it is! The most perilous mission of all!" Shepard shook a fist in the air. "Say you're right, and by some… magic… spirit…alternate reality thing, Garrus felt the same way about me. How do you even begin to surrender like that? How do you give someone else all the power? How could you let yourself be so… helpless?"

"It's not about power, Jane."

"Isn't it?" she said, looking at the quarian. "That's what it's always been about. I promised myself Tali. I promised myself I would never be weak and powerless again."

"Jane…"

"Ugh," Shepard scoffed, throwing her glass to the other side of Engineering and watching it shatter against the wall. "This isn't me; this sniveling, crying, pathetic waste of space."

"It's okay to be girly every once in a while, you know. You can go back to taking ass and kicking names tomorrow."

"Hah!" Shepard said, raising her bottle of liquor. "Taking ass."

"Is that wrong?"

"No, Tali. No it isn't."

"If you feel this strongly about him," Tali slurred. "Don't you think it's time to stop being so afraid?"

"Do you know how many times I've said that to myself?"

"A lot?"

"A lot."

"What is it you were always saying to Kaidan? Man up, Alenko!"

"Ahg, Alenko. He very well could have been what started this whole mess," Shepard said, taking a swig from her bottle.

"Kaidan?"

"Yeah. Years ago. Years and years ago. It was just a few weeks after my promotion to X.O. Kaidan and I were on the same crew for a few months. Lots of battle-field flirting and making eyes at each other. I mean you know Kaidan, as long as he keeps his mouth shut he's fuckin' hot, right?"

"I dunno," Tali said drunkenly. "I like his voice."

"His voice isn't the problem," Jane said waving a hand. "His brain is the problem."

Tali giggled.

"Anyway," Shepard continued. "We kissed a few times. Nothing major, but I was planning on adding him to my, already quite impressive, library. But he went right back to calling me 'ma'am'. That's when it hit me. This wasn't just two recruits about to go at it, he was my subordinate. He looked up to me, he trusted me. How could I possibly betray that? That's exactly what Gideon had done to me, you know? Ugh, I was disgusted with myself."

"I always thought," Tali said, pointing a stray finger at Shepard, "That he was much too enamored with you for nothing to have happened."

"Right?" Shepard said. "I mean we didn't see each other for, like, two years after that. Not until we were both assigned under Anderson on the Normandy and shit. Even though I treated him like every other soldier, he still kept that god…damn…hope in his face. Well, until Horizon anyway."

"Oh yeah," Tali said, snapping her fingers. "I hate Kaidan now. I almost forgot."

"You do not hate him."

"Yes I do. Garrus told me what he said to you. That…what do you always say? Dick-twat!"

"Those are two different things. You call him a dick or you call him a twat."

"Whatever," Tali said with a sigh, slurping some liquor through her straw. "Well, at least we'll always have each other, right Jane?"

"You got it Tali. We can both watch the men we care about from a distance until we die old maids."

"Assuming the Reaper's don't kill us all."

"Right, I thought that was implied."

Garrus had intended to take Tali with him to Pragia that morning, but when he strolled into Engineering and found her curled up on the floor in front of the console with Shepard's N7 blanket over her and an empty bottle clutched in her arms, he about-faced and decided he'd let her sleep it off. The next obvious choices were Jacob or Grunt, and since Garrus didn't feel like baby-sitting two children, Jacob was who he settled with.

All things considered, the mission went relatively smooth. Sure there were a group of mercs that needed dispatching, not to mention enough teenage angst to fill the entire ozone of the planet, but it had gone much better than Garrus' 'worst-case-scenario' in which Jack killed herself and everyone around her to escape some ghosts that only lived inside her crazy, crazy head. There was the brief hiccup where Garrus had to play 'Shepard' and talk Jack out of killing some other loony fruitcake, which happily ended with no one painting a wall with brains, so he called it a win.

Shepard, who had been waiting in the shuttle (insisting on at least offering peripheral support if she couldn't go along) stuck her head out of the door with an eyebrow cocked.

"What took you fuckers so long? Did you have a god damn picnic?"

"There were bad guys," Jacob offered, climbing onto the shuttle.

"There always are," Shepard scoffed.

Shepard and Jack high-fived as they watched the facility go up in flames, though Garrus thought the biotic looked a little more contemplative than he thought she was going to.

"What's next?" Garrus asked, breaking the silence.

"Omega is the closest stop for supplies. Then we go find this Derelict Reaper and get the IFF."

"Ugh," Garrus groaned. "Omega? Do you really think that's wise?"

"Oh come on, Garrus. I can't get kidnapped twice."

"I'm a little apprehensive about the mission, Commander," Jacob offered. "What if it's another trap?"

"The Illusive Prick isn't dumb enough to play the same card twice in a row."

"Garrrrussssss," Shepard whined. "Come on! Let's go!"

She was able to walk without her crutch now, but still had a pretty severe limp as she tried to coax Garrus out of the Battery.

"Look at you," He said, leaning on the console. "You can barely walk."

"I can walk just barely enough, can we go please?"

He approached her and pointed a finger at her face.

"You do not leave our side on this hell-hole station. Not once or for any reason. Do you understand?"

"Ugh. Yes dad, I get it. Can we just go? I've been cooped up all week!"

Garrus was not happy to be going back to Omega, for pretty obvious reasons. But as they made their way through the wards with Tali, the afternoon seemed to be passing with no signs of catastrophe. As long as they all stayed together, there was no surprise they wouldn't be able to handle, right?

Wrong.

They had already gotten the majority of the supplies they needed and were heading back toward Afterlife. Shepard said she felt the need to thank Aria for her assistance with the Augustine, regardless that Garrus said her information was practically useless and they would have figured it out eventually.

"It's not about that," Shepard said. "She didn't have to help you, but she did. She didn't have to keep the fact that you're alive under wraps, but she did. People as powerful as Aria are good to keep on your side."

"Whatever," Garrus said, eyeing an old human who was staring, very intently, at Shepard.

She didn't notice him, which seemed to only be entertaining to the merc, clad all in yellow. So he spoke up.

"Well," he said. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

Shepard stopped dead in her tracks. Garrus heard her heart start pounding like an engine turbine. She turned around to see where the voice came from, and her eyes widened when she seemed to recognize him.

"Z?" she said.

"Hello, Red."

She approached him, slowly, still favoring her wounded foot. Garrus and Tali shared a worried glance as they tried to figure out what was going on. Shepard stopped just in front of the man, looking up at him like she couldn't believe he was there.

"They…they told me you were dead." Garrus barely heard her she said it so softly.

"Funny," the human said. "They told me the same thing about you recently."

"I knew," Shepard said with a smile, tears forming in her eyes. "I knew you weren't dead. I knew those fuckers in the Suns couldn't take you down."

"I wish I could say the same, Red." He reached a hand up and brushed the back of his hand down the side of her face. "I went to your funeral, you know. Damn near killed Anderson for letting you die."

Shepard threw her arms around the old mercenary's neck and the man laughed as he wrapped her in his arms, lifting her up off the ground. After he set her down, she turned to her crew and held her hand out to Garrus.

"Garrus," She said, waiting for him to put his hand in hers, which he did. "This is Zaeed Massani. Z, this is Garrus Vakarian. He's one of the crew who-"

"Helped you take down Saren, I remember," he said, shaking Garrus' hand. "Good to meet you, Vakarian."

"You wouldn't be the same Zaeed Massani that started the Blue Sun's with Vito Santiago, are you?"

The human's grip tightened around Garrus' hand, but the man's face didn't drop his easy smile.

"That's not exactly public record," Zaeed said.

"Garrus wasn't exactly your average cop," Shepard said with a smile, pushing the men apart. "Z, this is Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

"I uh… Nice to meet you," Tali said nervously.

Zaeed shook her hand. "Pleasure's all mine."

"I can't believe you're alive," Shepard said, clapping her hands together. "Jesus what has it been? Ten years? Look at your ugly mug! They really did get you good."

"Somethin' like that," he said with a grin. "What about you? Workin' for Cerberus now I hear?"

"Eh, it's a long story."

"I'll bet."

"So," Tali said, running her hands over each other. "How do you two know each other?"

"Z pulled me off of the street," Shepard said, looking up at the merc.

"Yeah, I found her when she was just a dirty street rat, running amok through the sewers in boots too goddamn big for her." Zaeed put an affectionate hand on the top of Shepard's head and tousled her hair. The smile that lit her face made Garrus feel like he'd gotten kicked in the stomach. "Crazy little bitch tried to rob me, didn't ya?"

"More like I successfully robbed you, Old Man."

Zaeed laughed. "That you did, love. That you did."

(In case you didn't figure it out, Zaeed is the character with whom I have taken liberties with their timeline. More about that next week! Hope you liked it! ^_^)