Roarkshop Here: HOLY HANDIBLES! It's great to be back! I'm so happy to be posting again. Life is still pretty hectic but hopefully I can return to posting every Monday again. If I, for some reason, cannot post one week, I will update everyone via my facebook/twitter/blog/etc so if you want updates, find me on one of those sites.

As an exciting aside, my Beta Reader and I have decided to start a Beta Matchmaker blog. I get a surprising number of people either offering to beta for me, or asking me to beta for them. Since I can't do either of those, I came up with the idea of matching all of those people together and now KimDemon13 and I are running it together! The link to the website is on my profile page! If you need a beta or want to BE a beta, go check it out and maybe we'll have some fun together! ^_^

As always, your reviews, comments, and feedback are all read and taken to heart. I love you all and I'm so happy to be back. Can't wait to hear what you think of the chapter.

Lovelovelove

Roarkshop

Garrus laid in bed, not doing a whole lot other than checking the time on his omni-tool every fifteen minutes. Four hours had already gone by since he left Shepard's room, but sleep was a fickle mistress and had made it perfectly clear she wasn't going to indulge him tonight. There was just too much in his head for sleeping to be a viable option in the short amount of time he had before the rest of the crew started to stir. Garrus kicked his blanket off, putting his arms over his head, closed his eyes, and took stock.

Thane was no longer a problem, though he really should go into Life Support and replace his shelves. Who has glass shelves anyway? Maybe if he fixed them that would count as the apology Garrus knew he owed the drell, but was unwilling to vocalize.

That aside, Garrus had also managed to resolve the current conflict with Shepard.

Though, now that the two most prominent problems had been solved, that left him with a tangible ache to resolve the rest.

It was easy enough to want to believe that Shepard felt the same way about him. He had known for a while that she was physically attracted to him, though never thought it went any further than that. She had always said that blowing off steam wasn't worth potentially ruining their friendship.

And up until about five hours ago, he agreed with her.

He couldn't ignore the facts anymore; the way her heart would beat when he got close to her, the way her face would heat up and her ears would turn red. He had always thought that was him taking their playful flirting a little too far and making her uncomfortable, but that wasn't what it was. She wanted him, and now he knew it.

But would that be enough?

If she needed the stress release, which Garrus imagined she certainly did, he would sooner volunteer than see anyone else handle it; that was obvious enough. But if that's all it would be to her, like it had been with the many men in her past, what if it did alter their friendship? Was he willing to take that chance? What if she broke down again, and he couldn't be there to put her back together? What if he lost her again because he forfeited their friendship to spend the night with her?

He exhaled and ran the palms of his hands down his face.

Garrus couldn't take that chance. The only way he was going to jump off of this ledge was if she was jumping with him, not if it was a purely physical thing.

But, if nothing else, he was determined to find out and he was tired of wasting time dancing around her. The stakes were high, but certainly not higher than the suicidal task they had in front of them. He didn't get to tell her how much her friendship had meant to him the last time they were forced apart. Now that she meant even more to him, he couldn't allow himself to make that mistake twice. If he was going to die on the other side of the Omega 4, he was going to do it with no regrets.

Though, coaxing her into telling him where she stood on the subject might prove more difficult.

He sat up, pulled a shirt on over his head, and walked toward the elevator barefoot, deciding to go into the armory for a few hours to keep his mind busy. When he exited the elevator on the CIC, he saw Joker was already in the Cockpit and decided to see what he was up to.

"I know, EDI," Joker was saying, his hands flying over the screen. "But Shepard can handle it."

"Based on empirical evidence, she cannot," the AI chimed. "According to metabolic scans from her armor systems, her stress levels are higher now than they were prior to her psychotic breakdown shortly after reawakening."

"That was different," Garrus interjected.

Joker turned around to acknowledge Garrus with a tired nod.

"I do not see how," the AI continued. "Organics do not seem to cope well with high stress levels."

"It's not just about that, EDI," Garrus said. "What's causing the stress impacts how the organic reacts. Last time the stress was personal, it got in her head. This time it… well. Let's just say this is the kind of stress Shepard is used to."

"Yeah, EDI," Joker said. "This is what Shepard does."

There was a long silence before the AI spoke again. "I will reconsider my data points."

"You do that," Joker said, rubbing his eyes with his fingers before turning back to Garrus.

"Is EDI…worried about Shepard?"

"I'd say yes if not for the whole…artificial intelligence thing. But she keeps giving me updates on Shepard's sleep patterns and stress levels like there's something I can do about it."

"Sleep patterns?"

"Yeah. She hasn't been sleeping much lately. She's awake right now, going over the systems analysis Donnelly did yesterday. Though I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it from up here."

"Looks like the ship's AI thinks you guys are going to be besties."

"Very funny. Why are you up so early?"

"More like still up," Garrus said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Same here," Joker said, slouching against his chair. "EDI and I have been up all night trying to figure out this IFF."

"What's there to figure out?"

"Well, we know we need to integrate it with the Normandy before we go through the Omega 4 if we're going to pass through it safely. But the signatures on it are weird and I'm having trouble figuring out if it's even going to be compatible."

"Why not just install it and see if it works?"

"That's what I said! But Shepard says that's a last resort. I think adding Reaper tech into the Normandy has her on edge."

"Makes sense," Garrus said with an exhale. "Though I'm starting to think she's just stalling."

"I didn't even think of that," Joker said, looking up at the turian. "That's not exactly her style."

"The stakes have never been this high, Joker. Losing the entire crew is a very real possibility here. It's practically a suicide mission we're taking on. While that's never stopped her before, it's more than just her life on the line now. It's all of ours."

"True, but, I mean… God when you think about it, those were the stakes last time right?"

"Sure if she failed we were all dead, but only her, Tali, and I launched that Mako through the relay. And only we marched through the overturned Citadel and killed Saren. This time just going through the relay alone might kill everyone aboard. This time it's you, and Chakwas, and all the non-soldiers; the people who haven't signed on for action. The weight of the whole ship is on her shoulders."

"Yeah. EDI says she's been going through system reports every night for the past week."

"She's afraid none of us are coming back."

"I think that's what we're all afraid of," Joker sighed before cocking an eyebrow and looking back up at him. "Though, maybe it would lighten the load if I had something to come back to. Someone to come back for."

"Subtle."

"Fuck you, it's too late for subtle," he retorted, checking the time. "Or too early, whatever."

Garrus looked out into the void of space, leaning against the wall.

"I just barely managed to fix our last problem. I need a buffer before I introduce a new one."

"That sounds an awful lot like you intend on telling her."

"Yeah..." he said with an exhale. "I guess I do."

"Well how about that. Not such a pussy after all. What changed?"

"Everything."

Joker squinted, making a show of his confusion.

"Zaeed gave me a reality check," garrus clarified, shifting his weight. "It was about as gentle as a sledge hammer to the face, but it was effective."

"Well shit up my nose," joker said with a laugh. "It's about damned time."

"Well, I'm glad you worked it out," Tali chimed, handing Garrus down a bolt gun. "I was beginning to worry about you two."

"Come on, Tali," Garrus said, reaching up for the tool as he hung down into the engine by his legs. "If two years of her being dead doesn't ruin our friendship, my mild retardation certainly won't."

"Well I suppose that's a good point," she said, sighing as she rested her head on her hand. "Thanks for helping with this, Garrus. This is the last monitoring device in Engineering and I haven't been able to reach it."

"Not a problem," he said, bolting the panel back on and throwing pieces of the bug onto the ledge.

"Shepard keeps saying that the sooner I can get all the camera's and bugs off of the Normandy the safer we'll all be."

"Yeah Cerberus really has her on edge, despite all they've done to help our cause."

"Garrus, you know we can't trust them."

"Yeah I know, but having an ally with unlimited resources it… well," he fired the bolt gun a few more times before handing it back up. "It's a vigilante's dream come true."

"Hey Ugly!" Shepard bellowed over the speakers. "Where you at?"

"Engineering," he said as he continued to fix the engine.

"Garrus!" she said again, not having heard him. "Gaaaarrrrussssssss!"

"WHAT!" he shouted, using his grip on the railing to hoist himself back up onto the edge.

"Oh hey. Where are you?"

"I'm in Engineering helping Tali, you impatient thing. Why?"

"Oh. Sorry, Tali."

"It's alright, Jane."

"Anyway," she continued. "I'm in the process of turning on that geth we brought back. Just thought you'd want a heads up."

Tali and Garrus shared a concerned glance.

"Wait, Shepard, you're doing what now?" Garrus asked.

"That geth we brought back from the derelict reaper? I'm reactivating-"

[Shepard, Commander,] they heard in the background.

"Sweet," she said before the connection cut off.

Garrus and Tali scrambled to their feet and out of Engineering as quickly as they could.

"I knew it was going to be a bad idea to bring that…that thing on board," Tali said, folding her hands over each other.

"I don't know why I'm surprised," Garrus said, pressing the elevator button more times than he needed to. "She just can't help herself."

Tali laughed as they loaded onto the elevator and it started it's tortuously slow ascent.

"Ah this brings back memories," Tali said, lilting back on her heels. "Do you remember when you chastised me for my people letting the geth loose?"

"I'm uh," he cleared his throat. "I'm pretty sure that never happened."

"I have a recording of it, if you want to hear it."

"No," he said urgently. "Ugh, I hate the sound of my own voice on a recording. It never comes out right."

"Really?" she said, nudging him in the side. "I know a certain human who loves the sound of your voice."

His mandibles fluttered against the sides of his face and he pressed the command for the Crew Deck again.

"Most advanced technology in the galaxy," he grumbled. "And the elevator still moves like Mordin's trying to give Grunt a piggy-back ride."

Tali laughed.

When the doors finally opened, Garrus let Tali run ahead of him and they scrambled through the Mess Hall and Med Bay before charging through the doorway to the AI Core.

They both stopped in their tracks as Shepard appeared to be fist-bumping the geth.

"Hey guys," Shepard said, looking up at them with that grin of hers. "What's up?"

"Shepard," Garrus said, stepping in and smiling despite himself. "What in the hell are you doing?"

"Teaching our new team member to bro-fist!" She crowed, like one might for their child. "He's a fast learner!"

"Team member?" Tali asked.

"He?" Garrus asked.

"Yup! Legion, this is Garrus Vakarian, and Tali'zorah Vas Normandy."

[Acknowledged,] it bellowed. [This terminal is now called Legion.]

"You named it?" Tali said, getting angry.

"Actually, EDI named him."

"'It', Shepard. It's not a 'him'. It's an 'it'."

"Now, now. No reason to be mean, Tali."

[Creator Tali'zorah is correct,] Legion said. [Geth do not have differentiating genders.]

"You're not helping your case here, Legion."

"So," Garrus said, changing the subject. "Did you find out why it was on the Reaper?"

"Oh." Shepard said, looking up at him. "No. Should I have?"

"If not for that, why in the hell did you wake it up?"

"I dunno… it's a geth! A geth that knows my name!"

"Is that…" Tali approached the geth and scrutinized its chest. "Is that a piece of N7 armor it has on?"

"Huh," Shepard said as she turned to acknowledge it. "It is. Legion, why do you have an Alliance chest piece welded to you?"

It looked down at its chest in acknowledgement of the armor piece, then returned to looking at Shepard.

[It was…yours,] it said.

"Mine?"

[Affirmative.]

"That's not weird or anything," Garrus offered.

[When you disappeared,] it continued. [We were sent to find you. We began where you first encountered the heretics.]

"Eden Prime?"

"What are Heretics?" Garrus asked in a quiet aside, like he was trying to tell secrets in class.

"He said that there's two kinds of geth," Shepard clarified. "The ones that follow the Reapers and 'true geth' who oppose the Reapers."

"Oh."

"Go on, Legion."

[After the Old Machine's attack, Eden Prime was heavily defended. We were discovered. This is the impact of a rifle shot,] it said, gesturing to the hole through its chest.

"Why were you looking for me? What do the geth want with me?"

[You fought the heretics; the ones who hold the Old Machines as gods.]

"Uh…so?" Shepard gestured behind her at her companions. "So did these schmucks. And about a kazillion other people."

[We do not recognize 'kazillion' as an appropriate unit of measurement.]

"My point is that lots of people fought Sovereign and his heretics. So why do you need me?"

[You were the most successful. You killed their god. You succeeded where others did not… Your code… is superior.]

Shepard was silent for a moment while Garrus tried to gauge what she was thinking. Before he could figure it out, however, she had thrown her arms around the geth's neck and nuzzled her head against it.

"I. Love. This. Thing." She said.

Legion looked at Garrus. [We do not understand the desire for physical contact.]

"She's a hugger," Garrus helped.

[Acknowledged.]

"Jane," Tali said. "It's not a good idea to get attached to it. It's dangerous."

"Dangerous my ass! Look at him! He's got eyebrows and everything! How can you hate something with eyebrows? Look watch." Shepard stood back up and faced the synthetic. "Legion… do the thing with your eyebrows."

Sure enough, the geth seemed to raise its brow-plates curiously.

"Well I'll be damned," Garrus said. "He does have eyebrows."

Tali helmet-palmed.

"That still doesn't explain why he has a piece of your armor on," she said.

"Oh right," Shepard said, clearing her throat. "Why did you use a piece of my armor to fix yourself, Legion?"

[There was a hole.]

"There, see, Tali? There was a hole."

"But why didn't you fix it sooner?" Tali demanded, pointing at it. "Or with something else?"

The geth's eye-plates waggled again, seemingly in contemplation.

[No data available.]

"Oh. I guess he doesn't know that one."

"I don't think we can trust it, Shepard."

"Udina said the same thing to me about you, Wrex, and Garrus, racist twat mongrel that he is. So you should know by now that other people's opinions usually don't sway me."

"But-"

"No buts, Tali. Until he proves untrustworthy, he can stay."

"Oh Keelah."

"Well, uh… Legion," Garrus said, trying to lighten the mood. "It's good to meet you I guess." He held his hand out to shake the geth's, but Legion fist-bumped him.

"No," Shepard corrected. "Open hand is a hand shake, closed fist is a bro-fist."

[Acknowledged.]

Garrus stepped off of the elevator on the Crew Deck and heard Shepard saying goodnight to Miranda. He came around the corner, giving Miranda a polite nod as she made her way into her chambers. Shepard was in the kitchen making herself her usual cup of tea.

"Oh," she said, catching him out of the corner of her eye. "Whats up? I thought you were in the Battery."

"And here you thought Kasumi was the only stealth expert aboard."

"Don't forget Thane."

He scoffed. "I can't if you won't let me."

She laughed and shook her head. "Speaking of which," she continued. "Why did you make him new shelves? What happened to the glass ones?"

"They broke," he said after clearing his throat. "Who has glass shelves anyway?"

"Well that was nice of you to fix them for him."

"It was no big deal, I just re-sized the metal ones from the Battery and put them in. I wasn't using them anyway."

"Play dumb if you want, we all know what a big softy you are."

"Spare me 'grizzled-war-vet-with-a-heart-of-gold' speech."

[Shepard, Commander,] Legion's voice came over the speakers.

"Yeah, Legion," she said, moving to sit at the table.

[Requesting permission to exit the AI Core.]

"Granted, of course. I told you that you had free run of the ship didn't I?"

[Creator Tali'zorah informed us that we were not to leave this room without an escort.]

Shepard turned over her shoulder to give Garrus a disapproving eyebrow.

"I had nothing to do with it," he defended, putting his hands up.

"Well I'm the Commanding Officer, Legion, and I say you have free roam of the ship. If anyone tells you otherwise, refer them to me."

[Acknowledged.]

"But if someone doesn't want you in their work station, you have to respect that."

[Affirmative.]

"Very good then."

The geth strolled out of the Med Bay, and approached them.

[We would like to see if there is any assistance we can offer to the improvement of the Normandy's systems.]

"Well that is awfully nice of you, Legion."

[It is in our best interest that the Normandy be prepared.]

"What do you want to look at?"

[Our technical expertise may be able to improve the Weapon's Syst-]

"Don't even think about it," Garrus rumbled, coming up behind Shepard's chair.

Legion's brow plates waggled and he looked to Shepard.

"I'm afraid the Battery is Garrus' domain, so it's ultimately his decision."

[Acknowledged.]

"But," Shepard continued, looking up at Garrus. "I'm sure Garrus wouldn't mind giving you a guided tour sometime."

Garrus exhaled a disapproving breath. "Sometime," he said.

[We would be grateful.]

"But not now. Sometime as in some other time."

"Hey you know what you should do?" Shepard said, pretending to get excited. "You should go explore the Cockpit. Joker is always happy to give a tour and I'm sure he'd be glad to teach you the ropes."

[Acknowledged. We will seek out the pilot immediately.]

"Good. You kids have fun."

[Geth do not have children. We are essentially ageless due to-]

"Holy crap, just go!"

Legion paused, looked at Garrus, back to Shepard, and then headed into the elevator.

"Have I ever told you how evil I think you are?" Garrus asked.

She looked up at him with a grin. "Hey… it'll be entertaining if nothing else."

"Yeah we'll see."

"You gonna sit down? Or are you just going to stand there and judge me?"

"Well I was planning on going to bed."

"What? Bed? It's only…" she pulled up her omni-tool and checked the time. "Oh. Well shit."

"Yeeeah. That tea isn't exactly going to help you sleep either."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," she said with a sigh. "Besides, I have to go over today's systems diagnostics still, so I'll probably be up for a while."

"What you should be doing is sleeping, Shepard."

"Yeah, alright, mom."

"Hey," he said, turning to lean on the table so he could face her. "I can see you struggling. You can't go through the Omega 4 like this. You need sleep."

"What do you know?"

He tilted his head at her as if to say 'Really?'

"Yeah, alright fine," she said, conceding the point. She sighed and put her face in her hand. "After this thing with Legion tomorrow we're going back to the Citadel for leave. I'll sleep then."

"You'd better."

"Or what?"

"Or I will figure out a way to make you."

She laughed once, a breathy sound, as she let the quiet surround them again.

"It's almost time isn't it?"

"Yeah…" he said after a moment of silence. "Yeah it is."

She looked down into her tea and held her forehead in both hands.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We'll be ready. You can't keep stressing yourself out over it."

"If I don't, who will? I'm responsible for them, Garrus. All their lives are depending on whether or not the Normandy is strong enough…" She sighed and sat back in her chair. "Or whether I'm strong enough."

"No one is stronger than you," he said simply.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because no one knows you like I do. Hell, Shepard. I know things about you that you haven't even told me."

"That a fact?"

"It is."

"For instance?"

He crossed his ankles and sat back on the edge of the table, crossing his arms.

"Let's see… I know you sing in the shower."

"Oh Lord."

He smiled. "I know watching people eat repulses you."

A shiver went through her just thinking about it. "Yeah I'll give you that one."

"I know that you like to watch couples interacting with each other as you walk past them. I know that you tried to cut the Cerberus patches off your casuals but couldn't figure out how to do it without ripping a hole in them. I know that your right shoulder hasn't stopped giving you trouble since the Augustine." He looked down at his feet for a long moment, feeling how the moment seemed to sober, a heaviness weighing on the air around them. "I know that you hate the quiet because your mind will always wander to Ashley, or Jenkins, or Saren. I know that the rain makes you sad because it always reminds you of the night Deelia died."

He looked back up at her and met her eyes, a sadness filling them as she realized just how right he was. But there was something else there, a light behind them as she realized just how much attention he dedicated to her needs. Garrus smiled.

"And," he continued, lightening the mood. "I also happen to know that it's your birthday for another…" he pulled up his omni-tool. "Hour and fifteen minutes."

Her face brightened with her smile. "You knew."

"Of course I knew. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't?"

"Well, thank you for not telling everyone."

"I know how much you hate when they fuss over you."

"Hah, yeah." She looked at him for a long moment, seemingly studying his face. "Thank you. For remembering."

"That's what I'm here for," he said, raising himself to his feet. He leaned down and put his hands on the arms of her chair before nuzzling the side of her face with his, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Happy Birthday, Jane."

"Thank you," she breathed before swallowing down her nerves.

He stood and turned to walk away, leaving a stunned Shepard in his wake. He smiled the entire walk back to the Battery, and he was still smiling when he settled onto his bunk for the night. He put his hands behind his head as he let his thoughts wander.

He had been a pessimist for so long, hope had become something he dreaded rather than embraced. But he was certainly embracing it now; lying in bed, relishing how her scent still lingered in the air.

For the first time since Garrus could remember, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.