Chapter 36

"Can we go over it again, please?" John almost begged her while they were crossing the road to Amy's and Rory's house and Clara wasn't entirely sure whether to laugh or groan. He was utterly nervous about a simple party when he had absolutely no reason to be. The people who knew them also knew about what had happened to John and everyone else wasn't a problem.

"Okay, Amy and Rory, our friends. It's Amy's 35th birthday party and you'll recognize her red hair. You've seen her before. Rory is her husband, kind of dorky-looking with a nose. Their daughter Melody is six and she loves you, calls you uncle Johnny. I'll tell you who the rest is when we get there and now stop being nervous," Clara told him, "It'll be fine."

Before John had another chance to distract her she rang the door bell. She heard John inhale deeply next to her right before Amy opened the door.

"Happy Birthday!" Clara greeted her immediately and threw her arms around her best friend in a tight embrace.

"Ugh, don't remind me that I'm getting older," her friend said in a playfully insulted manner.

"Question," Clara looked at her, "Why are you throwing a birthday party then?"

A broad smile appeared on Amy's face. "I said to Rory I'd have a party under one condition and you will find that in the garden. Come on!"

John cleared his throat as he stepped through the door and awkwardly handed Amy the their present. "Uhm, happy birthday."

"Thank you," Amy replied happily and waved them inside.

They walked all the way through the house and into the back garden when Clara finally spotted what must surely be the one condition Amy had told her about because once she looked past the table and barbecue she noticed a large, colourful bouncy castle at the very end of the garden.

"How many children are you expecting today?" John enquired curiously, "That's a very big bouncy castle for just Melody."

"Only grown up children," Amy giggled, "That was my present from Rory."

"Uncle Johnny! Uncle Johnny!"

The girl came running across the lawn as soon as she had spotted them and instantly threw her small arms around John in a tight hug. He was surprised, but he was trying his very best not to let it show.

"Oh, uh, hello. . . Melody," he replied reluctantly as if he wasn't sure he was actually saying hello to the right girl.

"I've got some new dolls!" she told him excitedly, "You can do your funny voice on them!"

"Uh, sure," John replied, the insecurity showing in his voice, "Why don't you, uhm, go ahead and I'll join you in a second?"

With a large grin on her face Melody darted off across the lawn and John instantly turned towards Clara. "What exactly is my funny voice?" he asked her.

"Oh, uhm, I think it was just a really deep, gravelly one. I'm not really sure," she replied hesitantly, "Why don't you distract her with the bouncy castle instead?"

With a sigh John nodded and went to follow Melody across the lawn. Clara watched from the side as he pulled a yo-yo out of his jacket pocket and started to show the girl how to play with it.

"Does John usually carry a yo-yo in his pocket?" Amy asked in confusion, a laugh on her lips.

"Uhm, I have no idea," Clara replied, "His jacket pockets are a mystery to me."

She smiled as she watched John trying to teach the child how to properly work the yo-yo and suddenly it somehow tugged at her heart. If it hadn't been for his accident, maybe they would already have their own child on the way by now. Yet fate seemed to have had other plans for them and for a short moment it made her sad.

"So, you two are good?" Amy asked next to her and Clara was about to answer when the doorbell rang once more and her friend had to hurry to open it.

Clara walked around the garden for a while, making small talk with some of the guests and saying hello to a few old friends that she hadn't really talked to in a long while. It was beginning to grow a little colder and some people were already moving inside. Clara was starting to consider the same when suddenly a hand reached for her arm and pulled her aside.

"Come on," John half whispered and nodded in the direction of the bouncy castle, "It's free. No one's using it."

Clara giggled when she noticed his excited face. "Are you serious?"

"Of course, come on," he said and made an attempt to drag her away, but Clara was already following on her own accord.

"Have you had some of that sherbet because you seem way too excited," she laughed when John kicked off his shoes and climbed on the castle. He looked like an overgrown child pretending very hard to be an adult by wearing a suit.

Still chuckling Clara took off her own shoes and followed his example until she was standing right next to him.

"Just so you know, we look utterly ridiculous right now," she told him when he started jumping, propelling her up with him as he did. After a moment it even became fun. Sort of. Okay, she had to admit that it actually was fun.

"Ha! You like it," he said triumphantly.

"Shut up," she glared at him. It didn't last long, however, because soon the laughter was back. "Bet you can't jump as high as I can!"

Clara used the momentum to propel herself upwards and John immediately joined in their contest and to her dismay he was beating her at it.

"I can reach the ceiling, look!" he said breathlessly and bounced as high as he could, just brushing the castle ceiling with his fingertips.

"Not fair!" Clara complained loudly, "You're taller than I am!"

Suddenly she was knocked off her feet when John jumped at her, closing his arms around her and throwing them both down on the floor. They burst into laughter before John bent forward and pressed a swift kiss to her lips.

"Imagine having sex on this," John chuckled.

"Shush," Clara hushed him instantly, still giggling, "Melody might hear you."

"Good point," he agreed and fell silent for a moment, "Still an interesting idea though."

"Which we are not trying out now," Clara said in a playfully sharp tone as she sat back up, "We should probably go inside. Everyone else is already having dinner and I don't wanna miss that. I'm starving."

"Same actually," John replied and lifted himself up, helping Clara down from the bouncy castle.

While John excused himself to go to the bathroom Clara joined Amy in the kitchen and glanced at the food she was preparing for her guests. She had hoped that it would already be finished, but at the sight of the steaks Clara suddenly realized that she wasn't as hungry as originally thought and made the decision to try the salad first. Her hand reached into the bowl and nicked a piece of cucumber.

"So, you and John," Amy started once more, "You seem great."

Clara let out a hearty sigh and a smile spread across her face. "We are," she confirmed, "John is amazing. True, it wasn't easy, but we're getting there. He hasn't changed at all. He's still the man I fell in love with five years ago."

She turned around and beamed at her friend because she couldn't help it. She was just so happy that it was all working out.

"So he's moved back in at last? Good for you," Amy concluded.

"No," Clara replied, frowning, "He's still living with Missy."

Still Amy smiled at her in response. "Well, I'm sure it's only a matter if time," she said and took the bowl to carry it into the living room where the other guests where waiting, leaving Clara on her own and suddenly very thoughtful.

Things had been going extremely well between her and John and she didn't really see a reason why he still hadn't moved back in. He had told her that it would be soon, but over a month had passed since and he hadn't even mentioned the topic with a single syllable. Maybe he was really falling in love with her. But what if that wasn't enough? What if he had no intention of ever moving back in? What if John wasn't at all serious about them?

All this time Clara had assumed that their love was strong, that they would go back to the way it had been before the accident. But what if that was just an illusion, just a nice thought? What if John would never truly come back to her?