Thank you for the reviews!

Chapter 38

"Oh no," Clara uttered as she stared at the little stick she was holding in her hands. That tiny thing that was about to throw her entire life completely off balance. "Oh no. No no no no no no. Not now."

She flung the bringer of news across the room she had been pacing for five whole minutes where it made a shattering sound while she sank down on the sofa. Breathing. Breathing was probably a good idea.

Clara had battled a lot in her life. The loss of her mother, an unruly twin sister, university and teaching a bunch of teenagers, her husband's accident and now, for the first time, she had no idea what to do next. The news couldn't have come at a worse time, so Clara did the only thing she could think of and reached for her phone.

Amy came round just half an hour later and Clara instantly flung her arms around her friend in a tight hug, desperate for some sort of comfort and she couldn't get that from John right now.

"Clara what's the matter?" her friend asked, her voice so full of compassion and also worry, "You sounded so agitated on the phone."

She released Amy from the embrace and looked at her for a long moment. "I need to show you something," Clara replied and turned around to walk back inside the house. She couldn't say it. Speaking about it out loud only made it more real.

She found the test where she had left it after she had picked it off the floor again. Clara would have loved to just leave it there and ignore it, but this wasn't the sort of problem that would go away on its own. No, it would only grow bigger.

Wordlessly she handed Amy the test and waited for her friend's reaction.

"Oh my God," she uttered right before a large smile spread across her face, "It finally worked! You're pregnant!"

Clara stepped back when Amy made an attempt to hug her again. "That's not good news," she argued, "Stop smiling!"

"What do you mean?" her friend asked, followed by an insecure, confused laugh, "You've been trying for a child for ages."

"Yes, before the accident!" Clara spat, "Everything has changed and I can't believe we've been stupid enough not to use protection!"

Why hadn't they used protection? Clara couldn't even say. Maybe a part of her had thought that after trying for over a year there was no way it would happen now. But it had happened and now she had to think of something. If only she could confide in John.

"Clara, it's going to be fine," Amy tried to reassure her, "John loves you."

"Does he?" she asked, the panic audible in her voice, "I'm not so sure about that. He's never said it, not after the accident. All he said was that he's falling in love with me. That's not the same thing and it's certainly not enough to make him move back in!"

Her friend granted her a compassionate smile. "I think you're making this worse than it actually is. Have you told John about the baby yet?"

"No because he won't want it, I know that!" Clara sighed and sank down on the sofa, "I know it and I get why. He hardly knows me, he's just in for a good time, but he doesn't want anything serious. If I tell him, it's only going to push him further away."

Amy sat down next to her and gently laid her arm around Clara's shoulder. "I doubt it. I've seen you two and, yes, maybe the timing could have been better, but John would never abandon his wife and child. You know that."

Clara turned her head to look at her and she would have loved to believe Amy. It was true, John was a good man, but she doubted that his goodness would go that far. "I think he's abandoned me already."

"Oh Clara," Amy sighed as Clara leaned her head against her friend's shoulder. She just wanted to cry the problem away, but that wouldn't work, would it? While the tears came running down her cheeks, Clara tried to determine the moment her life had become such a mess and right now she couldn't even tell.

John was sitting in his room, playing a sweet melody on his guitar while he considered packing it for their weekend trip to Scotland next week. Clara had said she had always loved to hear him play, so that would probably make her happy. And that was what he wanted above all – to make his wife happy.

Then suddenly the door to his room burst open and Missy barged in without even knocking. "Okay, I said I'd give you time, but seriously," she glowered at him, "You need to move out."

With a sigh John set the guitar aside. "Hello Missy, thanks for knocking," he replied.

"When are you going to move back in with Clara?" his best friend demanded to know and John couldn't help the smile that spread all over his face.

"Soon, I expect."

"You've been saying that for weeks. When exactly is soon?"

Still John smiled at her. "We're going on a little trip next week on Friday," he explained, "I was thinking to view that as a sort of trial run. If it goes well, I'll pack my bags on Sunday."

"Alright," Missy agreed and plopped down on the bed next to him, "Any new memories?"

"Uh, no, just snippets," he replied, "Bits. Small fractures. Not the whole thing. I was hoping they'd come back."

"Well, what if they don't?" Missy wanted to know.

John turned to look at her and cracked a smile once more as he shrugged. "Then they won't. Ultimately, I don't think it's going to make that much of a difference. I've chosen Clara. Twice. I love her."

His friend uttered a sigh. "You're such a hopeless romantic, John Smith."

He grinned in reply. "Yes, I am," he said, "Did I ever properly thank you? For setting me up with Clara?"

"You may have said it once or twice."

"Well, I mean it," John replied earnestly, "That was the nicest thing you've ever done for me."

Missy looked at him for a long moment as if she was trying to determine something and John really wasn't sure what she would say next. Missy was unpredictable to him. Then suddenly she nudged him in the ribs.

"Ow!" John complained loudly, "What was that for?"

"That was for being an idiot for so long, twice!" she scolded him, "You love her, so tell her and move back in with her!"

"I will," John confirmed, "But I don't want it to happen in passing. I want it to be special. Don't you think Clara deserves that after everything I've put her through?"

With another sigh Missy shook her head. "Like I said, hopeless romantic," she said and rose to her feet, "Go practise your love song for the weekend. Don't let me keep you from it."

When Missy had left his room John reached for his guitar once more and continued practising the song even though he couldn't even tell where it had come from. It was just a melody that went through his head while he was lying in bed at night, thinking about Clara. Yes, it really was time to move back in with her and John vowed to give her the news during their weekend in Scotland.