Cat, Rat, and Dog

By Matelia-legwll

A/N: The short snapshot from the end of the last chapter:

The dog slipped out of the room and I didn't see him again as Sirius came back in and picked me up again and started walking back towards the Gryffindor Tower.

"Thanks for our little chat," said Sirius. "Now I have to go plant the idea that you left for the break in James's mind." He yawned. "And get some sleep. This next fortnight will be interesting."

Sirius never spoke a truer word.

CHAPTER EIGHT: Peter and Lily

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Now, why would Sirius insist that Evans stay in our dorm for two weeks? He has absolutely no reason to, I assure you. Except for the little fact that he's holding my mistake over my head! Of course, once James got that idea in his head, there was no arguing with him. He doesn't know that it is Evans I trapped in the cat's body. Sirius also managed to get James to agree that if they can't find Evans by the end of tomorrow, she must have left for the Easter holidays.

James would probably be delighted to find out that the cat is actually Evans, especially since the cat is that affectionate to him. For tonight, the cat is on Remus's bed, but I have a feeling that as soon as Moony is back, Evans will be up for grabs on who's bed to sleep on. I pulled out my list to jot down another item.

Item four: But don't start laughing when an ironic situation comes up.

Nothing ironic yet, but if the cat starts sleeping on James's bed...

I am going to keep adding to my list until I have something happen. Sirius! Give that back! Ooh, Sirius took a look at my list and burst out laughing. Blimey, I can't help that the first four things I thought to do were rather pathetic.

"What are you looking at?" asked James curiously.

"Er, nothing," I squeaked.

Sirius smiled. "Wormtail's list of what to do if something goes wrong."

James looked over Sirius's shoulder and read the first item aloud. "Hide the map. Hide the map? Pete, why would you ever consider hiding the map? Where would you hide it anyway? Under your pillow?" James laughed.

I pursed my lips in embarrassment and waited for them to get onto a different topic of conversation before closing my curtains and lifting my pillow up to grab the map. Alright, so I need a better hiding spot for the map. It doesn't mean I'm completely an incompetent dunderhead.

Maybe I should put it under my bed. Oh, Merlin, that is still too predictable. I sat looking at the piece of parchment that held the map and a brilliant idea struck me. Oh, what a wonderful, excellent, smart, clever, bright, ingenious, shrewd, crafty, gifted, cunning idea.

I should hide the map under Sirius's bed! He'll never think to look there. Now all I have to do is wait until James and Sirius and Evans fall asleep.

Finally! James and Sirius have stopped talking. I hear curtains shutting.

"Good night, Padfoot," said James.

"Good night, Prongs," said Sirius.

There was a little pause, then they both shouted, "Good night, Wormtail!"

I groaned like I usually did, and muttered, "Good night, Padfoot, Prongs," before turning in my bed.

About ten minutes later, hearing heavy breathing coming from both of them, I peeked out of my curtains to see if the coast was clear. Everything looked silent; even Evans was curled into a ball on Remus's bed. I got off my bed as silently as possible, which wasn't very silent. All the squeaking and groaning that the mattress could possibly make, it made.

I tiptoed quietly across the room, stubbing my toes a few times, wincing and muttering curses every single time. When I was stopped in the dead center of the room, having just stubbed my toe again, James started moaning.

He just reminded me why I try to get to sleep before him on most nights. Moaning and groaning about toothpaste? What was that he just said? Fish and chips and biscuits? That was actually quite delicious, if I say so my — Wait, McGonagall? Eww. I wrinkled my nose and tried to tune out James.

Before I could take another step, I realized my mistake. The map was still laying on my bed.

How could I be so stupid? My wand wasn't even handy; I had laid it on my bedside table. I had to turn around, tiptoe all the way back to my bed and stub my toes a second time on every single thing on the floor.

Getting back to the middle of the room by avoiding everything I had stubbed my toes against the first and second times, I discovered that there were even more things to stub my toes on. Golly, that hurt. This is harder than it looks!

Ow! I had to start hopping as I stepped on something sharp and pointy. This was not fair. Not fair at all! I got a splinter from Sirius's broomstick? No, wait. That is not Sirius on the bed. That's the cat! Remus's bed. Argh! Remus's broomstick poked me! Again!

Wait, I'm supposed to be at Sirius's bed. Good Godric — Mangy Merlin — Slimy Slytherin — Wilting Ravenclaw — Huffy Hufflepuff. Finally, I'm all the way back to the middle of the room. I took a step towards Sirius's bed when I felt eyes watching me.

LELELELELELELE

Has it only been since just before dinner that I've been a cat? It seems so much longer.

I have to admit that my first night in the Marauders dormitory was particularly hilarious. James wouldn't stop muttering about food, and Pettigrew looked like he had a hidden agenda. To explain the full effects of Pettigrew's madness, I suppose I should describe how the room was set up.

As you come into the tower room dormitory, there are four beds set up in an 'X' formation. On your left is Remus's bed and on the right is Pettigrew's. Next to Remus's bed is James's, making James's bed directly across from Pettigrew's. In between Pettigrew's and James's beds was Sirius's. This made Sirius's bed directly across the room from Remus's.

For some reason, Pettigrew got out of bed and walked to the middle of the room like he was going to James's bed. He stopped, turned around and went back to his bed, and grabbed a piece of parchment. He went to the middle of the room again, turned to his left and approached Remus's bed. I quickly closed my eyes, feigning sleep, and heard a loud repeated hop. Pettigrew's muttering of curses faded slightly as he once again approached the middle of the room.

I gazed at him in pure amusement. He froze, then turned around.

"Go to sleep, Evans," he murmured. I sat up and stretched my defiance. Resting on my haunches, I stared insolently at him. If he thought I was going to obey him, he was sadly mistaken.

"Sleep, kitty cat, sleep," he muttered. This statement just caused me to remember that it is all his fault that I'm a cat in the first place. Instead of calming me down, this riled me and I raised a paw, revealing my claws as I made a show of grabbing at air.

He cowered in fear. Really. I'm not exaggerating. He literally cowered. I wondered for a moment why he was so particularly afraid of me, but brushed that off as fear of my wrath coming upon him as soon as I am changed back. There is only so many ways of enjoyably tormenting little Peter Pettigrew, so I lay back down, and watched him lazily as he approached James's bed.

He hit the palm of his hand to his forehead repeatedly and made the journey back to the center of the room. I supposed he was trying to get to Sirius's bed. It was the only one in the room that he had not approached already. But that was weird. Why would he start from the middle of the room when he could just climb out of bed on the right side and go straight there? Is he completely an incompetent dunderhead?

I really shouldn't ask those sort of questions when I'm talking about Peter Pettigrew. Obviously, he is.

Peter finally made it to Sirius's bed. He stuffed the parchment underneath it, hobbled back to his bed, passing once more through the center of the room, and lay down to sleep.

I curled up once more, but before I slept, I heard Pettigrew muttering that stupid little tongue twister that James had been saying in Transfiguration. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I smiled. I knew the answer. Perhaps, just perhaps, I might take pity on the little fellow and tell him the answer.

Nah.

What in the world is James muttering about now? Green and red? Must be dreaming of Christmas. Merlin knows he loves his spoiled little boy time.

I closed my eyes. This was bound to be an interesting fortnight, especially with the Marauders as my companions.

Peter's List

Item one: Hide the map.

Item two: Tell Sirius.

Item three: Laugh off any weird questions.

Item four: But don't laugh when an ironic situation comes up.

A/N: And the first evening is finally over! Well, what do you think? What's your favorite part so far? Any good dialogue or good rants? Any suggestions? I'll take them into consideration, I promise. Any questions for me?

All readers--Here is your chance. Take a look back at Peter's part and his list. Can you think of anything to add? Tell me in a review or PM, and chances are I'll use it. My only request be that the list consist of rather obvious or pathetic notions, and that it would be absolutely hilarious to make Peter follow through on. I got up to eight on my own, and they were turning serious. (wrinkles nose) Not good in a humor fic. I'll need ideas by Chapter 10, so put your brains to work. (Shocked) No, house elves! I didn't mean it like that! Get your heads off the floor this instant. (Looks suddenly shifty) No, Hermione. I'm not ordering around the house elves. (Relieved) Phew! Anyway...

Happy Birthday Mani!

Thank you lonely.silence!

I got enough reviews to spur me onto putting this up. I am skipping the traditional Tuesday update this following week though. I've got to keep ahead of my updates, you understand. I am not in any danger of abandoning this fic. It's just this is Chapter 8 already. Keep on reviewing, please! I promise I'll respond. Even to anonymous reviewers, as long as you include an email address.

I know you must hear this alot, but every new review does make my day. And seriously, the more reviews I get, the sooner I start on getting the next chapter ready and out. I try to justify putting it up with getting a certain number of reviews. Also, keep in touch with a PM or email, and you may get certain treats!

Thank you for reading!