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Chapter 41

John watched her run, dumbfounded, and it took him a very long moment until her words had finally sunk in. Pregnant. Clara was pregnant. He was going to be a father.

John swallowed hard, trying to determine what it meant for him, for them both. Of course! It all made sense now. Her mood swings, her pale face when she had come out of the bathroom yesterday morning, but it didn't explain why she hadn't told him straight away, why she had been so reluctant to come out with it at all. He needed to talk to her.

As he made his way towards the house John had no idea why Clara had run away, but he was certain that he was going to find out any moment. Then he pushed down the door handle and found it locked.

"Clara," he called through the door, "Clara, the door is locked. My key is at Missy's."

"Go away!" she told him from the other side of the door, followed by sobbing.

John tried the door again, but it wouldn't budge. "Please, open the door. We need to talk!"

When he pressed his ear against the door, John could hear more sobbing, but at least he was sure that Clara was still there, listening to him. He had to get through to her somehow, had to make her open the door. They desperately needed to talk and not just about the child she was carrying. John had to tell her that he was moving back in this instant.

"Clara," he said, his voice softer now but still loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door, "Please. Just unlock the door so I can come in."

"Oh, so now you wanna be here?!" she spat, followed by a sniffing sound.

"Please, let's just talk," John begged her.

"Go away," she repeated and John heard some shuffling on the other side.

"I won't, not until you let me in!"

There was a pause and for a moment John even hoped that Clara would reconsider and actually unlock the door to let him in, but then she spoke again, her voice small and broken.

"It's okay, John," she said, "I get it. I understand why you can't move back in, but that also means you don't want the child. It's just not enough. I had hoped it would be, but it's not. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want."

"Clara!" John knocked furiously on the door and once more tried to rattle the door handle, but it stayed firmly closed.

"I'm gonna step away from the door now," Clara said, "See you. . . some time."

"Clara!" he shook the door handle more firmly, but it just wouldn't budge, "Clara!"

He tried to knock once again and when John glanced away for a moment he could see the neighbour staring at him. No, that wasn't how he would get inside this house. Clara was upset and confused and she had it all wrong. But somehow he needed to make her see.

John drove back to Missy's place in a hurry, disregarding several red lights, but right now he really didn't care about that. He needed to get his key and he needed to get back to Clara as quickly as possible.

He stormed into the house and immediately headed inside his room, ignoring Missy's questions about how the weekend had gone while he retrieved his suitcase from under the bed. Without really paying attention to the order John simply threw everything he could find inside his bag, hoping he could still close it once he was done.

"Okay, okay, I get it, you're moving out. That's great," Missy said as she appeared in the doorway, "But is it really that urgent that you can't slow down for a second to say hello?"

John kept ignoring her. Telling Missy would take too long. He really didn't have the time for that, not right now. Instead he grabbed his pile of shirts and was about to throw it into the suitcase when Missy stepped into his way and slammed the lid of the suitcase shut.

"Hey!" John complained loudly.

But instead of letting him pack the rest of his things Missy sat down – right on top of his suitcase.

"Missy, please," he begged, "I really need to go back to Clara."

"Better tell me quickly then," she replied and put on a disgustingly broad smile.

John sighed heavily and racked his brain for a way to get Missy off his suitcase without using violence, but he couldn't come up with one. He knew her too well to know she wouldn't budge. "Clara is pregnant."

"Okay, come here," Missy said and reached for his arm.

"Let me go, I need to pa-"

"Shush and sit," she told him sharply and pulled him down to sit on the bed next to her. When she spoke again her voice sounded a lot calmer. "Okay, John, I need to you take a deep breath. Come on, humour me."

Since Missy was still occupying his suitcase John thought he had little choice and did as he was told. Deep breath. Clara was pregnant. He was going to be a father. Another deep breath. All of a sudden a smile spread across his face at the thought of it. They had wanted that, they had wanted to start a family and the desire had been so strong that he had been able to feel it even after his accident. Now their wish would finally come true.

"There we go," Missy said happily.

"I'm gonna be a father," John said and started to chuckle, "It's actually happening."

"Yes, and Clara will still be pregnant if you arrive five minutes later, so tell my why you're so freaked out."

John inhaled deeply, the smile instantly leaving his face. "We had a fight. The weekend, everything just went wrong and now Clara thinks I don't want to move back in. She thinks I don't want the child. I need to prove to her that she couldn't be more wrong."

"And you will, I'm sure of that," his friend replied and jumped up from his suitcase, "Now, need help packing?"

John beamed at her as he rose back to his feet, feeling at lot better after he had spoken to Missy. Clara would see that he was serious and they would finally have the baby they had wanted for so long. Everything was going to be just perfect.

When John was back inside the car and driving towards their house he knew that he had all the time in the world, that five minutes wouldn't make any difference at all. He had calmed down, but still he just couldn't wait to get back to Clara and tell her just how much he loved her. He was just about to imagine what it would be like to finally hold his son or daughter in his arms when a car suddenly came out of nowhere and all he heard was the screeching of tires before a deafening bang rang through his ears and the whole world went black.