My father told me this story from when he was a kid. This really happened, though I changed the names around.

Driving Test

Aang breathed heavily. He had never been so nervous. After weeks of practicing and reading up on how to get a driver's license, the moment of truth had finally come. One of the single most important rights of passage for young men was at his fingertips and he knew how important it was, he knew that it was the most important thing in his life.

But, of all the people who could have been on the test course that day, he ended up with Freda "Fail-you" Murphy as his monitor.

The high school had an arrangement with the town, so they had a driver's Ed program for their juniors and seniors. However, one very nasty woman had earned an executioner-like reputation.

Freda was an out of shape single women in the mid-forties who was as ugly as she was mean. Toph theorized that her hostility was because she was once a man. The choices she made in her life led her to a career as a driving teacher and she loved to take out her life problems on poor, nervous high school kids.

Aang had heard rumors of her and prayed that he would be tested by anyone else…but the skinny boy's luck had to run out sometime. "Why today, of all days!" He asked the Fates.

"Did you say something?" Freda asked him as she closed the car door.

"No ma'am." Aang tried to be nice.

"You may begin." Freda took out her pen, looked at her clipboard and waited for Aang to start. He inhaled. First he buckled his seat belt, then started the car. "What are you forgetting?" Freda asked him.

"Uh…is your seat belt buckled?" Aang asked her.

"The emergency break. Unlock it."

"The E-break isn't locked ma'am." Aang said.

"First of all…it's called the emergency break. Not the E-break. Second, why is the emergency break not locked?"

"Because…the car wasn't in park." Aang was already annoyed by this woman.

She sighed. "Continue." She said as she marked something on her clipboard. Aang put the car in reverse, looked out both of his mirrors and then over his shoulder and slowly began to pull out. "Stop!" Aang slammed on the breaks.

"What's wrong?" Aang's heart jumped.

"Why didn't you look out your mirrors?" Freda demanded to know.

"I did." Aang insisted.

"I didn't see you check."

"I did." Aang said, sounding angry.

"Are you getting snippy with me young man?"

"No! I didn't mean…"

"Little boy, you clearly have no respect for the rules of the road."

"No, I do. I really do!"

"Maybe we should reschedule when you are more capable."

"What! No please. I practiced so hard for…"

"Step out of the car young man." Freda asked, but she was really insisting. Aang was crushed, but stepped out onto the curb.

"How did you do?" Toph asked, though she knew he didn't do well. She was next in line for the school's test, with four other peers behind her.

"I failed. I have never failed a test before." Aang looked like he was going to crying.

Toph's eye narrowed at Freda. Her best friend instincts kicked in when the ugly woman called her name.

"Toph…Buy Fung?" Freda mispronounced Toph's name.

"Present!" Toph yelled in a perky Ty-Lee-like tone.

"In the car young lady." Freda ordered her.

"Yes ma'am." Toph faked her smile and patted Aang on his shoulder. "Watch this." Toph whispered in his ear.

Toph got into the car and, still smiling, stared at Freda. Aang felt his stomach twist, knowing that something bad was about to happen.

"You may begin." Freda said, turning to a new page on her clipboard.

"Really? Oh, now what am I supposed to do first?" Toph buckled her seat belt. "Um…now I think I…reverse!" Toph turned the wheel all the way back, slammed on the acceleration and bolted out of the parking spacing! Freda bounced up and down, dropping her clipboard.

"Young lady!" Freda gasped.

"Okay. Now I put her in drive!" Knowing exactly what to do (from playing Grand Theft Auto WAY too much), Toph slammed on both pedal, causing the tires to screech loudly enough to break glass. "Oops. I'm not supposed to press the breaks too. Sorry." Toph took her foot off the break pedal and the car blasted down the road.

Freda screamed at her and Toph laughed. She reached 70 miles per hour on a 20 mile road in only four seconds. Thankfully, the street was closed for the day.

"TURN AROUND!" Freda yelled, holding on to the ohshit bar with all her weight.

"Yes ma'am." Toph pulled on the e-break and the car drifted in two circles before pointing in the other direction. Freda screamed and almost fainted. Toph blasted back to the drive test site just as fast as she had left it.

Just before passing Aang, she pulled on the e-break again and slid the car back into the parking spot. A perfect park!

Freda slowly got out of the car, shaking, and began to hyperventilate. Aang swore he saw a wet spot in her pants.

Toph got out of the car and, still wearing a smile, happily asked Freda, "Did I pass?"

Not having a name for the mean ticket lady in the Serpent's Pass, I named her Freda.