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Chapter 7

"Couldn't I just go for a walk or something?" Mattie asked Mac. As she had been suspended, Harm had asked Mac to keep Mattie at the office with her. She wasn't taking her eye off the ball this time, or the child.

"Nope." Mac said.

"What about I go to the cafeteria and get you a drink or a snack?" she asked. Mac gave her a sardonic look. As if she was gonna risk that.

"Nope...no need. There's a machine just there."

"Come onnnn Mac." she whined. "I'm going crazy here." Mac sat on the desk and gave Mattie a gentle push into the chair.

"Look, I know you're a bit nervous about what Harm's going to say." Or do, she thought. "But there's nothing you can do about it now." she said. "I've taken some silly chances in my life too...that's the trouble with chances, always seem like they're worth it until you have to face the music."

"I didn't think it would end like this." Mattie said. It was all meant to end so simply, just a bit of a joy ride and then she'd been gonna put the car back. No harm no fowl...pardon the she had both...Harm was on her ass and she was the chicken who wanted to run rather than face him.

"No doubt...but it did...best thing you can do is put your head down and do the work the school sent."

"You think that'll help...like make him less mad?"

"Not a chance hon, but it might take your mind off it."

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

Harm was on his way home, he'd hardly slept at all. His mind had churned all night with different scenarios of what could have happened. None of them ending well. Not that the reality had exactly ended well. He was extremely relieved that nothing had happened to Mattie but his car... They'd been through so much together...but it was just an object, an inanimate object. Mattie was what was important. Little brat, he thought as his mood switched from melancholy and sadness to irritation and anger. She'd TAKEN his car...and WITHOUT a license...and with other kids in the car...she'd skipped school...after she'd promised...and she drowned his car...

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

"It's time Mattie." Mac said.

"Do I have to come...I have all this homework..." she tried. "You could go and pick up Harm and then spin by at get me..." Mac scoffed.

"Not a chance!" she said. "I'm not running the risk of losing you again." Mattie bit her lip.

"Please...?"

"Come on. It won't get any easier if you put it off. You have to face him sooner or later." Mattie's face flushed pink. She was a little nervous but mostly she was embarrassed and ashamed. Not that she was ready to admit that just yet. She stuffed her work into her bag with gusto.

"You know it was a bit of a temptation just leaving the keys right there." she grumbled.

"Uhhuh." Mac said. "Don't even go there Mattie. I never dreamt that you couldn't be trusted." Wow...that hurt. Mattie went very quiet as they made their way to pick up Harm.

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

As they approached the pick up point, Maddie shrunk down in the back seat and picked up a blanket that was next to her. She wished she could be a toddler again. If only she could cover her head and believe that no one could see her because she couldn't see them. But she wasn't a kid anymore...she knew that if she put a blanket over her head, Harm would see her anyway...blanket and all.

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

Mattie's eyelids flinched slightly as the front passenger door slammed shut but she didn't open her eyes. It was a long shot but even a short feigned nap would buy her a little time.

"Not working Matilda...I saw your eyelid move." Harm asked. Damn Mattie thought.

"Oh Harm...hi." Mattie said faintly as she pretended she just woke up with a dramatic stretch and yawn.

"Nice touch Mattie." Harm said. Mac had to force herself to not giggle but Harm's cranky look helped to wipe the smile from her face. "But I don't think any of this is a joke." Mattie sat up straighter and tried to control her wobbling bottom lip.

"I...I'm sorry Harm." she said quietly.

"We'll talk at home." he said softening his tone a little. Arrrgggh, he thought. This was so much harder than he thought it was gonna be. It wasn't like he would change anything if he could, he loved Mattie, more than he thought was possible...but...he just wished she'd pick and age and stick to it. One minute she was a smart ass teenager/would be adult...and the next she was a vulnerable child...this was so confusing.

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

Mac pulled the car up outside Harm's building but didn't turn the engine off.

"Aren't you gonna come in?" Harm asked with an almost alarmed look on his face.

"She probably thinks you don't need an audience." Mattie slipped out from the backseat, surprising even herself. See...Harm thought to himself...smart ass is back.

"No input from the cheap seats." he said. "Besides, you can wait in your room while I talk to Mac for a little while. I need to know what's going on with the insurance."

"Ok." she said. Mac turned the engine off.

"You sure?" Mac whispered." Harm gave her a pointed look.

"Yes I'm sure." He whispered.

"Um...not that I want to interrupt or anything..." Again from the back seat. Weren't kids supposed to be seen and not heard...

"Didn't I tell you to wait in your room?" A little self preservation kicked in this time and Mattie stifled the need to roll her eyes.

"Mac put the child proof locks on so I couldn't escape."

Harm looked at Mac with a twinkle in his eye and she quickly popped the locks. Mattie didn't waste anytime escaping to the safety of the building and her room. Harm and Mac were both close on her heels.

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

As they walked through the apartment door Mattie made a bee line for her room.

"Don't lock it Mattie..." Mattie didn't trust herself to answer so she went inside quietly and shut the door behind her.

Harm opened the fridge and grabbed a couple of cans of soda. He didn't think Jen would mind. He'd replace them later. He passed one to Mac and then after looking at Mattie's closed door, he took out another and went and knocked on her door. When she opened, he passed it to her and kissed her cheek.

"I won't be long." he said. Truthfully he wasn't torturing her, he just needed a minute...or two. She nodded and closed the door.

"I'm sorry about your car." Mac said. "I left the keys right here on the counter ...I just didn't think..."

"Not your fault."Harm said.

"She knows the difference between right and wrong...and she made me a promise."

"Yeah well...memories for parental promises are sometimes short when you're young." she said with a smile.

"So you think I shouldn't be too hard on her?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what did you say?"

"Nothing about what you should do...just making an observation...and remembering a little."

"Um...not that you haven't already helped me enough...but Mac could you please be a little clearer than that?"

"You're asking for my advice?" Mac asked with a grin. She thought at first that he was joking, but then realised form the look on his face he was deadly serious and seriously rattled by all this. "Harm...I don't even have any kids let alone a teenage daughter." she said as she touched his arm gently.

"No but you were one once...and quite the little devil...you're closer than me."

"Who was no doubt an angel."

"Pretty much." he said with a shrug.

"I loved my father Harm...but...he didn't give me what I needed."

"Which was?"

"So much! Love...affection...security. He was too preoccupied with his own drinking and self pity to teach me right from wrong." Harm nodded.

"It's never too late you know." he said with a grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Yeah right!" Mac said with a giggle as she stood to leave. "Go be a Daddy."

JAGJAGJAGJAGJAG

Mattie sat upright on the edge of the bed and brushed away her tears when she finally heard the knock on the door.

"Come in." she said. Harm entered and sat on the bed beside her.

"Harm it went all wrong." Mattie said. It sounded even lamer coming out of her mouth than it did inside her head.

"Yeah you got that right." he said. "Mattie...you let me down. You let Jen and Mac down...but most of all you let yourself down." Mattie started to cry.

"Don't... be... mad..." she begged. "I'm sooorrry." Harm had never felt more mean.

"Honey, it's not about being mad. It's about me doing the right thing by you. Teachin you right."

"But I know what I did was wrong... I do..."

"But still you did it."

"Mattie I trusted you and now... I hate to say this...I really do but I don't trust you anymore. I want to be able to trust you...but I just don't." Mattie burst into a fresh bout of tears.

"I knew you were gonna hate me!" she said. She didn't really think he hated her but she really needed him to tell her he didn't...

"Hey!...No one said anything about hating anyone. I love you...more than ever. That's what upset me more than anything, the thought of what could have happened... And I WILL trust you again one day, when you show me that you can be trusted." he said as he pulled her into a hug. She continued to sniffle into the side of his shirt. "So from now on until I say otherwise, you will be with me...or Jen or when you go back to school, one of us will take you and one of us will pick you up." Mattie nodded silently, her face still buried in his side where she couldn't see that hurt look on his face. The one she put there.

"So is that my punishment?" Harm lifted her face out from hiding.

"Of course not!" he said. "Glad you haven't lost you sense of humour girl." He manoeuvred her across his knee in the blink of an eye.

"Harmmm."

"I won't ask you why you're getting this spanking Mattie co that would be glaringly obvious." He brought his hand down hard in the middle of her wriggling bottom.

"Ow Harm!" she yelled. Harm whacked his target several more times in a row. "Stop Harm it hurts!"

"So does bein in a car wreck Mattie!" he yelled back. His own words gave him the strength to get the job done... and he did..regardless of the begging and pleading he covered every inch several times over. Finally it was a heart wrenching cry that brought him to a stop. He rubbed gentle circles on her back until her crying calmed and then he helped her stand and pulled her into a hug.

"I won't...ever..."

"Shhhh." he crooned."It's over now honey."

"I love you Harm."

"I love you too Mattie."

TBC